deniz

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About deniz

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  1. Hi Kim! If you are open to shadow coaching, business enviroemts is my specialty. I am also a trained completion proces practitioner. See https://ambercoaching.nl/english-page Love Deniz
  2. deniz

    Wonderfull workshop! Great dialogues between Lynn and Teal! So insightful. Thank you sisters! Your work is so important! All my love tot you all.
  3. deniz

    Hey honoust, critical friends, Teal did react before, after a tragedy. Re-read 'blood and soil they cried'. My favorite blog. The deep compassionate insights she gives are relevant in case of Vegas. In any case in which a human kills (a lot of) other human beings. That is.. if it is insights you are looking for.. What are you looking for? Did you ask yourself that question? And why are you looking for it here, in Teal's diary. I try to ask myself those questions when I feel like criticizing somebody. Usually it has to do with projections and unfullfilled needs...
  4. Body healing work versus shadow work Hi guys!! I hope somebody with experience or deep knowledge can help me understand: on one hand I believe that for real healing shadow work is the the way. Because we need to go to the core, experience what we never could experience and go theough the emotional healing cicle and retrieve a fragment of our being. I believe in the power of the completionnproces and some other processes. on the other hand there are healers out there who can change a persons life with their hands. Powerfull healers who take away a desease or pattern like addiction that stays away and does not come back. So my question is: how does that work? I was convinced body work healing can only solve a problem temporarely. But there are cases that prove the opposite. How is that possible without shadow work? Without meeting the core-issue and reprogramming the system? I thought body energy work was only targeting symptoms. I met someone yesterday. A powerful healer. He pit his hands on me and it felt like millions of butterflies entering my heart. I told him I have done so much work but do not seem to be able to change behabioural patterns like anger issues. He said you will change now. I so badly want to believe him! also I know a powerfull shaman who heals like this. And so many others. iIs that all bypassing or is it real definite healing? Does this mean we can heal without shadow work? I wish Teal would answer this but my ask teal questions are never answered so I hope there is somebody out here on this forum who has heard Teal talk about this? Thank you!
  5. deniz

    Ok fasten your seatbelts here I go...: YES Every person I see on the street I judge.. ."authentic - not authentic" "scared and following others - confident and idepended" "smart - dump" "fat - thin" "unconscious - conscious" I look at how people are dressed and draw conclusions about their amount of self-love and self-care. I judge people who don't care of their appearance and think they make themselves small and meaningless... YES....every not-western man I distrust when it comes to man-woman relationships.... I expect them to be sexist, looking down at women.. And I judge western man as well.... "no passion", "not masculine"... I judge women because of their behavior avoiding conflict..... changing their voice depending on who they talk to.. .alert all the time regarding "what is my social status".... And so on.. I have an "ideal" picture of how the perfect human being should be.... : in fact not-human. And at the same time.... I watch myself doing this judging thing and I realize how much work I have to do. I is clear I am judging myself. There still is so much self-hate in me..not accepting all those parts of me I see I see mirrored in others. I also act, I also am scared and alert, I care too much about my appearance...I have high goals regarding spiritual development....I am not disciplined..not conscious a lot of time...very materialistic...very controlling...very not-zen But I do feel grateful I found shadow work. I am facing all those monsters in me.. and slowly..very slowly something is changing.. I sometimes suddenly realize I feel compassion and love for somebody I would normally judge... I suddenly notice stregth in somebody I always thought was weak... And I see how my confidence is not confidence at all... It is just an avatar personality of mine who knows how to scare the shit of other people by acting confident.. just like my dog who starts barking at other dogs with no reason but to look scary because actually she is the one who is scared.. Very slowly things change... I feel grateful I have a wonderful partner and together we can have a good laugh at our poor selves. I feel grateful I found Teal... Time to get premium membership now!!
  6. deniz

    Dear inspiration in my life, This week a black snake crossed the hiking road I was on with my dog. Soon afterwards my son broke his toe and I had a heavy pain-body attack forr not being in control which is very very important to me. And then... your blog.... I have not figured out the snake symbol in my case but snakes do show up my dreams often. And I do have a deep fear in me that I am not lovable. And I know how powerful I can be. But God, it is so hard. No proces, no healing seems to help overcome my stuff, my anger. Teal you and Ale show it is life-work. Never ending. I find it hard to accept that. How to accept that? All my love to you
  7. deniz

    Wow... I suddenly realise I disconnect from my husband now and then. It does not feel like disconnecting. It feels like 'I am tired I just want to be by myself' or 'I have so many things going on, this is not a good time for intimacy' or 'I need space'. I love private time. I want my own room. I realise that I am copying my mother.. I realise it is out of fear not independency. But I relise it cognitively, And because I teust Teal 100%. I am not feeling it. It does not help knowing that it takes lots and lots of processes and other healings like Ayahuasca to get to the core of this and still maybe not heal it. Since Ale is describing all the work he has done to heal in his blog, but still seems to use this coping mechanism. And Teal is doing all her techniques every day, and still get's triggered when this happens. So thank you for the insight but OMG what do I do now, now that I know...
  8. deniz

    Dear Teal! I feel resistent to the idea of belonging to a tribe. I have always felt resistent to the way people behave when they have joined as a group/feel themselves surrounded by their group. I don't know exactly how to describe it but it is as if the individuals start behaving according to certain "group rules" and totaly focust on how to stay in. People stop thinking independedly. I see a lot of 'pleasing' behaviour. Especially towards the leader of the group. I realise that this has something to do with the group consciousness but I wonder: does the fact that people feel belonfing to a group,, give more space (safety) to shadows? Maybe also because of 'peer pressure'. I would never ever call myself 'part of...'. And at the same time I never feel I fit in especially the spiritual groups. That is why I love you, I completely identify with you. But the idea of being part of the Teal tribe, between all these people craving for your attention.. the picture does not look appealing to me. probably a shadow part of me, fearing I will lose something... or realising how I will be facing shadows when I I join a group? Love to hear your comment on this!!
  9. deniz

    Wait a minute... I love the worrier Teal. Let's not dismiss her ?. And yes, there is kind of an anger-power that drives this worrier Teal. We can feel it. I can identify with that anger-power in which the anger is completely invisable because the anger-energy is totally focust on bringing the messages across: "wake up you frightened souls! Claim your authenticity! Be brave!". The worrior-energy is soooo empowering.....'yes we can!'. So please let's not dismiss her. I love her. She a revolutionary. The soft Lavender is the one that eases, relaxes, massages, comforts, enjoys, nourishes and let's go. It is home. It is the part that gives herself the feeling of fullness, not depending on others like a husband to feel the a soft tender connection and safety. Ofcourse I am probably projecting. ?. This is how I feel. And o yes synchronicity!! Love you Teal
  10. deniz

    I wish every single individual in the world would read this blog. I wish I already had found my way of teaching this, to as much people as possible. I wish I already had found out how I can and will use "the force" I am still the silent witness, the student... I am listening to you with every cel in my body. You are mirroring my future, our future as mankind. Thank you, dear sister for keeping up and holding on, thank you for staying there, despite all your personal suffering. Thank you for showing me part of me. Us part of us: Our light, our wisdom, our courage.