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Ryuraven

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Premium Record Comments posted by Ryuraven


  1. On 5/16/2020 at 2:24 PM, Raffi N said:

    The Mask of Zorro!!!! Theme: Take your revenge with honor

    I liked the series of Zorro. Theme is fight for what you believe in even if the authority figures think you're the bad guy. Such a mood.

    Movie's still good tho

    • Like 1

  2. Out of the night, when the full moon is bright;
    Comes the horseman known as Zorro!
    This bold renegade carves a Z with his blade,
    A Z that stands for Zorro!
    Zorro, the fox so cunning and free; 
    Zorro, who makes the sign of the Z!

    Fucking loved him as a kid. I'm also pretty sure he's the reason I always wanted a black horse (still do) and secret rooms and corridors in my house. And I swear when I get to biuld my own house I'm gonna have a secret room just because I can.

    I also always wanted to learn fencing but there wasn't a class for that around, not so much into fighting anymore but I'd still like to take a class once to have the experience. I dragged my brother into fencing matches with knex swords. Kind of got really into swords too. And I love the cloth thing around the waist (not sure what to call it but occasionally I'll feel like wearing something similar)

    I watched the (1950's) series every day as a kid until they stopped airing it. Then I watched the movies every time they came on tv. I don't get how my parents never got sick of me watching the same 2 movies over and over. Preferred the series though. Then I started to watch tv less and less and missed it so I went to look for the videos and managed to find them on yt. I think I made a playlist with those vids.

    It's long ago but I'm pretty sure I watched it even before I could read so I didn't even understand a word at first.

    Growing up adults would occasionally ask kids who they wanted to be like, or who they admired. I don't remember ever answering that question so I guess I either forgot or I managed to slink into the background and avoid notice, but Zorro's the only one that ever came to mind when hearing that question. I always felt like that wasn't a valid answer though.

    spacer.png

    Gotta go, time to rewatch this series ♥


  3. Did quite a bit of work with my womb since my periods get so bad. But the meditations and stuff specifically for that don't fit with me as I'm a guy. I've tried for some problems in my knees but didn't get far with that. And everything else I tried didn't really work. 


  4. Funny how you posted this last night and then when I wake up, my mom says hi, to which I don't respond because, well, I've never greeted someone who lives in the same house as me in my entire life so it doesn't even cross my mind as an option. Also I hate speaking before breakfast, it just puts me in a bad mood for the entire day.

    And now she was like "When I say hi I want you to say it back. To other people too. I demand it."

    It felt like she was unreasonably angry over something being the same way it had always been. It does feel like a futile attempt to control me. She wasn't yelling or anything but it almost felt like a temper tantrum.

    What's putting me in confusion though, is Teal saying "now's not the time to rebel against them" Like, the was she acts around me is like I only have 2 options. Comply (and thus giving my power away) or being the bad guy (thus rebelling). Even if it's not the greeting thing, she'll find something else. She's always been like that. Popping up out of nowhere with a demand, acting like that demand is normal even though it's the first time it's ever brought up in my life. If I give in she'll find something else to demand from me, if I don't give in I'm the problem child.

    I just do what I feel like doing. If it lines up with what she wants, great. If it doesn't, not my problem. I'm tired of playing her games, if she has a problem, it's not my responsibility to help her avoid it.

     

    And as for the taking steps to move forward; I know what I need to do, but something's holding me back. I've tried talking to that part of me, and all I get is "not yet" I get that I needed to de-stress a bit, but I think I've relaxed as much as I can in my current situation so I'm not sure what I still need. I don't want to get started when I know I'll only be able to put in half my energy at best. I want to deal with whatever this is first, so I can have 100% of my energy to put into this when I start. I just wish I knew what I needed, maybe there's a more effective way of going about it.


  5. Freedom.

    But the way this question is posed is a bit odd.

    If you are gonna be happy no matter what, you literally have nothing to lose by choosing freedom. Even if it's gonna end up feeling the same, why would you choose a cage over walking through a field of flowers? You'll be happy even if you're homeless and can't find food, and you're too busy being happy to fear death. What exactly are they even gonna do? Ensuring everyone is happy no matter what takes away the use of punishment and reward. 

    "Go live in this factory, you will work on making things with only breaks for food & sleep." "Actually, I'm more in the mood to play games." "You won't have food unless you obey." "Okay, I'm gonna play games now." "We will kill you unless you obey." "That's nice, sweetie."

    Am I the only one who thinks it'll go like that? Fear is a feeling so if happy is the only thing you're able to feel you can't get scared. You can't grief for losing a loved one if they're killed for not obeying. Things that would otherwise crush you won't have any impact.

    If you're gonna feel good no matter what happens, what would you do? Whatever I feel like doing in the moment, obviously. All consequences only work because of how they make us feel. With guaranteed happiness consequences no longer exist. I think it would get the opposite result of complete control.

    • Like 1
    • Haha 1

  6. I'm stuck and just kind of going along because I don't want to create trouble between me and others...

    I never agreed with all laws, always thought they're too limiting on our freedom and bodily autonomy, and so much more recently. But no matter where on earth you go, there are a lot of similar or even worse laws. I was born and therefore I will be punished for not obeying those who came before me. I always tried to minimize the punishment I receive by going along with whatever the authority figures in my life demanded, but I never quite succeeded in silencing what I really want and think so it didn't work that well.

    And while it hasn't come up, there is definitely a sense of not obeying laws being worse than not obeying parents or teachers.

    The only obvious change the universe would want me to make is to admit to what I actually want and to no longer let my fear of punishment get in my way. I never quite fit in this society, I always tried to cheer myself up about it by saying that maybe that's just because I was meant to change it. It's scary to go against so many rules but... what else would I be meant to change?


  7. "Our liberties are being taken, and they're not going to be given back, you guys." I had to pause it there.

    Been catching up to a few full videos (instead of the 1 minute on insta). Today's video was a question "would you still choose freedom even if you were guaranteed to always feel good no matter what happens to you?" And I definitely chose freedom.

    A previous video mentioned that this is a time where you might discover your purpose.

    Freedom has always mattered so much to me. I've gotten in trouble more than once for choosing freedom over social rules. I was pretty disconnected from other people as a kid (narcissistic I guess), but whenever I saw a movie that had freedom as its theme it ended up being one of my favorites. (spirit: stallion of the cimmaron, braveheart, I also liked the Zorro series although that's a bit different)

    And when Teal said the words I quoted at the top of my post, I got chills. What if I'm meant to play a part in taking our freedom back after the governments take it from us? It's a bit scary to think of standing up to the entire government, or even multiple governments. But if they're gonna get in my way of making my dreams come true, I'm gonna fight til I die. I absolutely hate people who try to take away other people's right to make their own choices. This is dictatorship. It pisses me off.

    Mix that in with the previous question on long term thinking... I'm not in the country I want to be in. If they make enough changes so I can't move to the country I want to live... I don't really know how I'd do as an activist. Activists always seemed like much talk and waiting for someone to listen. I'm more of a hands on person, plus my skills in vocalizing my perspectives aren't that great. Before I found out where I'd like to move I used to think of getting an island and making my own country with my own laws bc fuck this society. What if I become a pirate, steal a ship and settle on a nice tropical island as basis for a global freedom fighter thing? Pirate clothes are already on my 'want to wear' list anyway. And while that last part sounds all nice and fantastical, I'll keep that as plan B for now.

    • Like 1

  8. Last year I came to understand that every person I meet and every situation I'm in is meant to teach me something, and I'll naturally move on to the next step. I went back to live with my mom after my intuition told me to do so. Honestly not something I'd have considered doing otherwise, but I've learned that my intuition will at the very least take me down the fastest road. 

    I know that my purpose is authenticity, but that single word gives no clue on what that practically looks like.

    I guess we'll see where this takes us.


  9. 4 minutes ago, Reid Pattis said:

    Hey everyone,

    I wish to be *vulnerable* and ask a personal question - an important dilemma that I'm facing. I would appreciate it if you would take my best interest as part of yours.

    Dilemma: I'm a M.S. student at USC, but I don't want to anymore. I'm sick and tired of school, and I'm learning something I have no interest in going to school for. I have an appreciation for the material, but I just don't see myself doing the course material - Trust me, I tried to be passionate about the subject, but I just couldn't. Instead, I wish to take some time off to learn what my values are and to go in the direction of prosperity by meeting others' needs as stated in Teal's April 3rd update. However, my parents are against me doing so, and I myself am also scared of the rash decision. Hence, I wish for your help in discernment with the following questions:

    1. Is leaving school at this time (very testing time) a decision that will benefit me on the long run, or is this too rash of a decision? My initial reaction is that leaving school would benefit me in the long run. However, Teal's Caesar analogy is making me question that. My parents are basically Caesar in the story, and my attempt to drop out of school may run into some serious consequences. That is my concern.

    2. This update is making me question how manifestation works in general. Not a question. Just a note.

    Thanks!

    Manifestation as I've come to understand it is: if you feel a certain way, you will manifest situations that make you feel more of the same emotion. The biggest issue with this is that subconscious parts manifest too so generally speaking you're manifesting stuff you don't know you're manifesting. Try looking at the outside world as more of a mirror of your subconscious than a consequence for not mastering manifestation.

    I'm gonna guess that your parents are afraid that dropping out is the wrong decision for you and will hurt you in the long term. While their concern is valid it doesn't mean they're right.

    Before I dig further into this I just want to say that whatever you choose, to stay or leave school, you have to choose it with all of your being. If only a part of you is on board with your final decision you're gonna regret it regardless of your choice.

    It's normal to be scared making a choice that can change so much, especially when it goes against everything you've been taught. Work with that fear. Figure out what you are actually afraid of, because I want to bet this fear is not about school at its base. Might be fear of losing connection, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of death, or something else. I'd recommend parts work for this.

    As Teal has said, this is a time where the universe is putting us in a position to have to choose what we value more. A while back she did an update about values and a card set to help you figure out what your priorities are. Someone in the comments on that video linked the cards, and it's helped me. I'd suggest taking some time with that. You could also make a list of pros and cons to each of your options. If you take the time to figure out what's important to you, your decision won't be rash.

    And now for my personal opinion: it's clear that you don't want to study anymore. But there's a lot of pressure on you to keep on doing so anyway. You already know what you want, you just don't trust yourself enough to stand your ground. While the situation is a little different, this almost feels like I'm talking to my past self. I was put under a lot of pressure to choose to stay at a mental hospital (akin to your school now). I didn't want to stay, my intuition even told me things were gonna go bad if I did. But every single adult kept telling me I had to because it was the best thing for me to do. I chose to trust others over myself and it resulted in a decade of depression which ultimately had the purpose of teaching me to always trust myself over others.

    Don't take this lightly, really get to the bottom of your fear and find that value card exercise. Simply choosing to quit school because someone online (me) presented a scary perspective is not going to do you any good, even if it ends up being your choice anyway. This is less about what you choose and more about your motivations behind your choice.

    • Like 4

  10. Preparing for long term is hard. For a few months now I've had an idea of what I want in my future, and while I've taken steps towards it, it's very loose. Most of the time I'm just trying to keep myself busy with watching shows because I simply can't think of anything else to do. It's gotten boring by now but it's literally the only thing I can think of to keep busy for a few hours. I also spent several hours lying awake in bed each day because I have nothing to get up for.

    I've been wondering what I can do to improve my long term goals since before all this started and I just don't have a clue. 

    • Like 3

  11. No matter how long I think about it, I can't figure this out. The void I see is that no one has space for me. No acceptance. I don't see how getting me to be accepted is going to get me prosperity.

    And I hate having to be of service to others because I was always demanded to take care of those who were supposed to take care of me. 

    Authenticity, allowing people to be themselves. But I can't force people to choose to be themselves. So while giving others the space to be authentic might be closer to what I'm meant to do I don't see how I can do that because people have free will. Ultimately I have no hand in anyone's decision to be themselves.

    idk what to do about this one.


  12. 1 hour ago, Hannah Wauchope said:

    What's your Facebook?

    I barely use facebook, if it's to have conversations you'd probably go unnoticed for months. discord, tumblr and instagram are better since I use those pretty much every day anyway. I'm ryuraven on tumblr and ryuraven_a on insta. same for discord but I think that needs the number too


  13. 1 minute ago, Hannah Wauchope said:

    Hahahah let's shall heheh I can see why this would be upsetting for us, it just makes me feel more isolated or like an alien with being trans

    exactly, it really feeds into the not belonging thing. Let's manifest a new video together!


  14. 2 minutes ago, Hannah Wauchope said:

    I relate to this problem myself as well as a trans woman wish there was more content of hers that was about gender or more specifically trans and non-binary folk. 🙂

    Let's spam her with requests >:D


  15. Mostly slept tbh.

    I never know what to pick with things like these meditations. I'm a trans guy so no amount of womb healing is gonna make it feel like there isn't a foreign object in my body. And since I was never raised or treated as a guy idk if or how much of that masculine wound I have. I'd be very interested in seeing you explore more on trans people beyond that video you did a few years ago, because in a way it feels like I can't relate to both men and women.


  16. On 1/23/2020 at 5:50 AM, Sky Evans said:

    http://www.uihi.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/FINAL-Value-Card-Set-082313-CMS.pdf 

     

    here are the cards teal used and u can print out // Sara ❤️ 

    Thank you!

    I'm not through sorting yet, but it's already very clear that the things I value most were things I never had growing up (and many still don't have), whereas the things I don't care about are the things that were forced upon me or caused me pain as a child. Funny how that works.


  17. Worst date? I think I've only had one experience that could be called a date and it was pretty bad.

    I'm a straight trans guy, but at the time I was 15 and trying really hard to be a straight girl. Some friend of my friends asked my number, I didn't think anything of it. Asked me out to a movie over text, I asked if there were any good movies. I didn't realize it was gonna be a date, I never liked to go out alone and just assumed he didn't have anyone else to go with. 

    Met up with him, took the bus to the movie theater, got ourselves a seat on the side of the back row. I always choose a seat near the center but he insisted seats in the back were better, and since I'd never sat there before I figured it was at least worth a try.

    Midway through the movie or so, he put his arm around my shoulders. It was annoying and uncomfortable, but I decided to just ignore it. A while later, I saw something move from the corner of my eye, so I turned to see what it was. He kissed me. And since I didn't feel like punching him to the hospital for that, I figured that meant I was in love 😓 

    Then he just kept kissing me (badly) while I was honestly just waiting for him to stop so I could get back to watching the movie.

    It was how to train your dragon (first one) and I have rewatched it like 5 times since, because that is what it took for me to actually be able to remember the ending. I'm usually good at remembering the big plot strokes, but for that particular movie it took a few tries. Probably needed the rewatches to ensure my brain didn't link it to that date experience.

    I have since decided to never go on a movie date. If I'm watching a movie I don't want to be interrupted, I just like to have someone with me to talk before the movie starts, and to enthusiastically rant about it afterwards. A date should be about experiencing things together (preferably romantic experiences). A movie is just taking something in, regardless of who is around.

     

    On 1/25/2020 at 1:35 AM, April Park said:

    do any of you guys know the meaning behind the psychology quiz other than the favorite animal one? the other two was the color and the body/form of water. 😃

    Teal actually made an ask teal episode on it a few years ago. I don't remember the title but you should be able to find it on her youtube channel.

    • Thanks 1

  18. I would get stressed if I had to do that. Just watching it... 

    Tiny precision work like that makes my whole body itch until I just have to jump up and do something physical like pushups to shake it off. Which I guess sounds like I use exercise to deal with stress but I really don't. I get too up in my head to even think of exercise. Maybe I should try it though, because I don't have a stress relieving activity. I tend to just think on it until I find a way to resolve whatever issue is making me stressed.


  19. Only joined fb recently and couldn't figure out which Teal tribe was run by Teal's team. I think I tried to join one of them because why not, but never got accepted. Kinda forgot about it until now. I haven't cared much since my experience with diving into spiritual circles is that everyone thinks they're on the best path even though they all have drastically different perspectives and it can get very confusing. It also creates a type of group pressure to put on a spiritual persona and do as many woke things as possible every day. I prefer spirituality as a way of knowing how to deal with problems when they come up, and maybe a 'happy coincidence' conversation with someone I didn't know was into that stuff. I guess I tend to avoid getting into spiritual circles because they don't feel human enough, at least to me.

    • Like 2

  20. That has been the theme of the past few days. Seeing how the things of the past weren't working out. Having to let go. And despite the pain of letting go of something I loved, it helps me to look towards the future as an ocean of potential.

    I've never actually been able to look further ahead than 2 weeks. Sure, I knew I'd have to have money for far beyond that, but that's it. Now I feel like even if I don't know what's gonna happen, the few desires I have make it feel like I'll have years to make progress on things.

    It can also be hard to know when you've really let go. If there's closure it's easier, but without that, it can come to mind again even after not thinking about it for a while, just wishing for closure. I don't know if wishing for closure counts as holding on, but if it is, it's not holding on to the positive things.


  21. Every time Teal starts something with "this is gonna piss a lot of people off, but..." I end up wondering how it could ever piss anyone off by the time she's done talking. At worst it's just "dang, I felt that. I need to think on that for a while."

    I never really plan to compliment anyone, typically I just pass someone on the street and it just comes out. Although I have noticed I'm doing it a bit less lately. Still, planning it may make it feel less authentic and a compliment should come from the heart.

    • Like 1

  22. Growing up in europe in a non-catholic household meant that halloween was just another fall day. My grandmother was catholic so I do remember accompanying her to the graves of her family once, but other than that halloween was just something from cartoons on tv. 

    I just expect to see fog and fall leaves on a chilly day tbh, but since I'm in australia now I would have completely forgotten halloween existed if it were not for that one employee that was dressed up as Wednesday. It was just a wig, really. 

    It's kind of weird to see people make a big deal out of a holiday that doesn't really exist in my experience. Dressing up is for kids during carnival, and sweets is for sinterklaas and easter. Halloween is american culture.


  23. Doing something "for" someone else while really it's all for yourself... I don't see how that applies to me. I've always hated the idea of doing volunteer work because I'd get nothing out of it. Growing up I was never able to do anything to make other people see me as good, so the only way for me to see myself as good was to view my own moral standards as "better" than those of society. (Hence why Zorro was my favorite character, he's the hero, the good guy, always wins but he's seen as a bad guy by the authorities)

    Since I watched this I'm trying to see how I'm a match to this but I can't figure out how this applies to me. Even if there are things of which I could say that I'm doing them for others, it's really just me doing it for myself while recognizing that it will benefit others as well. It's just a bonus point. I don't think I've ever done anything for anyone else. Out of fear, maybe. 

    Example: I'm vegan because meat tastes bad and I'm lactose intolerant so going vegan seemed like the easiest way to navigate that. I can recognize it also benefits animals and the environment but I really wouldn't bother doing anything for those reasons. I just don't care. I can give several examples of things that I do (or don't do) that benefit others in some way but I'm only in it for my own benefits.

    So how the fuck does this apply to me?


  24. If by making it easier to find out how many people there are in our area you mean making it easy to find the members map, that would be great. Because every time I look for it it takes forever to find it. Such as right now. Kind of why I clicked on this update in the first place.


  25. I want to eat those!!! I hoped I would find a recipe here but alas, I am left to starve.

    I hope that when she finally gets on top of that cookbook she'll make a second one that's just desserts. Healthy, vegan, sugar-free, gluten-free desserts. And then I'll need a kitchen.

    tbh I don't care about the gluten thing as I haven't noticed any issues with eating that but if I'm going for healthy desserts why the fuck not? I doubt I'll miss it.

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