this is for me personally a really difficult process, it makes me feel so.. afraid.. it makes me freeze up and panic a lot. probably shows me how much i actually need it. at this point, i really don' t know anymore what i like or don' t like, i only have a sense of, these are things you should like, these are things you should be doing, and when i wanna do new things i freeze up again, thinking of all the reasons why i cant do something new, or how its going to be a waste, me being my own buzzkill i guess. this is so so difficult, and partly i fucking hate it. its so scary. and i feel so.. watched? anyway, time to embrace my shadow, and say its okay to feel this way and to totally panic if someone for once asks what you really want to do and like, without implying something. i feel quite like a burden and a dumbass for even posting this, and im terrified of leaving this comment, cause im so afraid to be wrong, to be judged by others as wrong.