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  1. It's a tricky one because on the one hand, unconscious people can be a detriment to your efforts of becoming more aware as a person and focusing on the deep things in life (without being holier than though ofc as scott mentions) On the other hand, connection with people is important, you may still like your friends or you may stop resonating with them because your interests are changing and want new friends Ultimately, your life is unique and your journey in life is unique. This means it is only you who can decide what is right for you at any point of time for your life. One of the lifelong tasks we have is to reconcile things, you will need to keep practicing reconciling friends and spirituality. And the balance you need in this area will change depending on the point in time
  2. Is drunk talk, your suppressed emotions? Ive never drank alcohol before but tried it for the first time yesterday, got drunk, and was surprised because after a tough emotional month in march, I made it out the other end, but then when drunk suddenly I was crying loads about this issue in my life of feeling lack of love and how important love is, and how much I care about people but sad that people like my family don't love me Does this mean I've suppressed this feeling? Or maybe just it's less intense so i can get by being sober and not addressing it, just that it comes up when less inhibited?
  3. Totoro

    I think at some level it does have to manifest with external actions e.g. To be a radically honest person you must start being authentic in front of people, that's external, but whatever is blocking you from doing this external action will start with your own emotional blocks so that's internal Sometimes, it might help to do the external and internal at the same time, so you have a reciprocal determinism effect going E.g. Self loving acts in the external world (making yourself a nice meal for example) feed into your internal work of self loving yourself and vice versa hope that helps!
  4. Totoro

    Thank you sooooo much <3 It's a relief to read these words
  5. Totoro

    One day I'm also planning on leaving my family behind, I'm just financially incapable right now and am in university I worry about going through similar feelings as you are, feeling completely isolated and cast away For you, I can imagine trying to please them and having to go unacknowledged must make you feel helpless, some just will not understand and see On the other hand, being stuck in this university and family thing really takes it's toll as well, at least taking one step towards your own authenticity is something, but either way seems difficult My family are Muslim but I have left the religion. I worry not only of being cast away once I let them know but also of being in danger that they'll try to find me and seek revenge for becoming an apostate because it's an extremely unacceptable thing and it will not be taken lightly On top of that, not feeling good enough to face the rest of the world is like being between a rock and a hard place!
  6. Numerology and thoughts Lately im seeing 111 quite a bit as I've been trying to be a more intuitive person the past month I have read that this number is a message to remain focused on positive thoughts because things are getting manifested faster, so if I focus on fears those will come up in an instant But I'm struggling to focus on positive thoughts and to just switch. I don't even feel like I should do that. Today i started getting suicidal thoughts, I can't just switch to positive Does anyone have a deeper knowledge of numerology and what this whole focus on the positive means at a deeper level? Is part of this seeing 111 like a little message of support too, from angels? They certainly know I need that lol Thank you
  7. Totoro

    I can try to answer the first question If you notice, you've already had suicidal feelings if I read correct, your post already indicates you're not feeling great, so aren't the very feelings you're attempting to run away from already there? Is there really anywhere to run from? Also, I've heard it being said that the dangerous thing is when we resist our feelings, but feelings in and of themselves are not harmful release is what happens, otherwise it festers and makes you go down a spiral hope that helps!
  8. Do you get frowned upon for being a quiet person? I'm quite soft spoken and find it difficult to speak up in class for example I get certain people including teachers dislike me for this reason This makes it more difficult for me to come out of my shell and be more expressive I try to be aware if I'm judging myself for this trait of mine, today i had another situation where I failed to speak up and contribute, I noticed feeling down as a result What would be your advice for someone who wants to express more but at the same time, I don't want to be coming from a neurotic place where I'm trying to change myself just because I should be a certain way. There are situations I genuinely want to speak up but struggle. And I want to not let others' judgements or preconceived ideas about me hold me back or make it more difficult for me to express. Their expectations just stress me the hell out though and I end up retreating into my shell I must've been a tortoise in another life ;D
  9. Totoro

    This morning I read a random paper on schizophrenia and attachment relationships. Of course, this is just one narrow paper, but it had some useful points. Supposedly, those with schizophrenia are more likely to have had insecure attachments with most likely their mother. It said something along the lines that SZ's would have experienced some kind of trauma or neglect with their attachment figure. And that both positive and negative symptomology (positive is like hallucinations and negative might be lack of social engagement or poor mood) are linked to childhood trauma in SZ's So perhaps it would help you to explore these issues if they apply to your life. Feelings related to attachments and neglect and trauma. Put into action Teal's advice from her books and try seeing a counsellor or psychotherapist as support will be very necessary. Of course, because of higher likelihood of insecure attachment in SZ's you are less likely to seek help from others, but as long as you're aware of your help avoidance behaviours, you can make the conscious effort to seek help Good luck, it must be really tough for you <3
  10. Totoro

    Let's just make sure inauthentic people like myself don't use this as an excuse to not be authentic ;D But I don't think the world is ready either, mainly I don't think we realise the damage that inauthenticity causes, we see radical honesty as less important than keeping things amicable for example ... it's a priorities issue
  11. Totoro

    Actually I now think the question might motivate me towards action the longer I practice asking it, I think a shift will happen over time with it ?
  12. Why do i hurt myself with my diet? Although I'm not incredibly sensetive when it comes to seeing how certain foods affect me I definitely notice the terrible effects of dairy. I also feel like shit when I overeat. To some extent I notice how fried foods also aren't great. At the moment, all I want to focus on is eliminating dairy and to eat at a caloric deficit to lose a couple stone I've put on. But I literally just keep sabotaging myself. In turn I just feel super terrible about myself. Is this a self-love issue? I've been getting in touch with a lot of emotional pain lately, I notice how I feel ignored and disrespected in response to recent interactions. I could ask myself 'what would someone who loves themselves do?' But it doesn't feel like I could apply that here because I have resistance to going out and buying and cooking healthy foods for myself. I seem unwilling to do that for myself. I feel like I want to eat crap because I feel crap and I will not eat good till I feel good. Thanks for your help!