"Do you understand trust? I will break it down for you in a second.
trust is: "I can DEPEND on someone to CAPITALIZE on my BEST interest."
It's literally that simple."
This is really hard for many of us to grasp, because so often, we just didn't have this growing up, and still don't choose partners that know how to do this. We usually don't know how / can't do this for others. Lets take a closer look at this key word, capitalize.
To capitalize means : verb (used without object), cap·i·tal·ized, cap·i·tal·iz·ing.
to take advantage of; turn something to one's advantage (often followed by on): to capitalize on one's opportunities.
So someone is taking advantage of my best interest, not for themselves, but for ME. i can DEPEND, trust them, to take advantage of my best interest....now what is CRUCIAL HERE....is this: In order to even be able to do this, we MUST become an EXPERT with the person we do this with/to/for. We cannot capitalize on someone's best interest, if we do not know what is even in their best interest. And this is where things become muddy...blurry...messy, cause projection often pops up, and a person may think your best interest is something it isn't, based off of what THEY want for you, vs what they know YOU want for YOURSELF.
We must become experts on ourselves, and our lover/husband/wife...our children, and our family members, our best friends. It takes times. But this means setting aside our judgement of what we think their life should look like, and what we want for them, and really ATTUNING to their own wants and needs and likes and dislikes, preferences, boundaries, goals, dreams, fears....To do this we must become excellent listeners, and ask questions, and really get to know them outside of our perspective of who we think they are, and know them for just who they are. We do this by listening, and asking questions, and talking about our own thoughts and feelings about what they say, and being vulnerable and honest enough to express concern about their choices, and loving them enough to hold space for them during tough times, and having courage to endure stormy weather with them, and have the love in your heart to share yourself with them, and simply allow them to do this with you also.