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About Scot

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  1. Timon, I think @waltwas providing a warning that the people on this forum are not mental health experts. There are a fair number of regular members on this forum who will be only too happy to give you their two cents worth but that may be all it's worth: $0.02. (Myself included). I think having other perspectives can be a good thing but my advice would be to maintain your own perspective on their perspectives. On the other hand, if you find a good counselor you might be able to put yourself into their hands and trust their advice more readily. A couple more things: Everyone needs to be just a little obsessional sometimes. If we have some hard or important work to do being a little obsessional is in a way a good thing. We might choose the word "meticulous" or "perseverance" and those are positive qualities. But if we go too far then it's called "obsession". I am a little obsessional too sometimes. I got myself addicted to video games. Lately I have been addicted to reading and posting on this forum. Other than that, I don't know much about OCD. But from your orginal post it seemed to me that your feelings and your mind were running away with you. And I think vipassana is an exercise that specifically practices observing thoughts without being inside them. Now, as far as the Law of Attraction and your father. I could say a bunch of things but I think Life is much much bigger than you or I or anyone else realizes. Your father had his own life and his own law of attraction pulling things into his life. You stopping your compulsive behaviors would not cause such a strong pull in the universe to cause anyone else to end their own life. Not possible in my honest opinion.
  2. Just recently, I looked up the 4 virtues in Buddhism. Your post made me think of these virtues. They are: loving-kindness, compassion, empathetic joy, and equanimity. I want to tell you about the first and last of those. Loving-kindness or Metta. This is having a heart that is open and filled with loving kindness, both for yourself and others. Treat yourself as a person who is worthy of love, because you are. Equanity. This is the ability to look at things that happen and the things we have done in an objective way. Carl Jung said "what you resist persists". So you can't resist what is bothering you but you must be able to remain objective. You can feel your emotions without being carried away by them. The type of meditation that practices this type of thing is called vipassana. There is an app called Insight Timer and there are guided meditations. One of my very favorites is an introduction to vipassana by Tara Brach. I actually just finished following it before coming back to editing this post. I think you are going to have to process those things that you obsess about (because what you resist persists) but you have to remain in our equanimity. If you find your mind and emotions running away then you'll have to push it away, put it on hold, until you can get your objectively back. Then later you might be able to come back to processing your feelings again. Please write back to tell the forum how things progress.
  3. Empathy is the ability for a person to feel the emotions of another person. I suppose that ability might have something to do with mirror neurons. A mirror neuron is a neuron that fires both when an animal acts and when the animal observes the same action performed by another.[1][2][3] Thus, the neuron "mirrors" the behavior of the other, as though the observer were itself acting. i suppose a highly sensitive person is sensitive to chemicals, food, emotions, etc. but does not necessarily have highly developed mirror neurons. (That is just a guess so take that as a hypothesis, not an answer.) I found an interesting article on the toxic attraction between narcissists and empaths. Essentially, the narcissist ruins the empath and turns him or her into another narcissist.
  4. All we have are models When we use our eyes and look out at the world, we see objects like people, cars, building, plants, animals, rocks. And maybe we pick up a rock and it feels solid and heavy. The way a rock feels in our hand correlates to the way it looks with our eyes. Sight, sound, touch, smell and taste all work together and corroborate with each other and seem to prove that we experience objective reality. And in that reality, objects seem to be separate. But on the other hand, certain spiritual traditions tell us that this apparent reality is just an illusion. Separateness is an illusion. My understanding is that if or when we achieve a transcendent state of consciousness we perceive a oneness of all that is. This oneness is sometimes described as an ocean of energy. We are just waves on the ocean. All things are waves on the ocean. Sometimes this oneness is described as Source. I am saying that Source is just a term some people use to explain the perception of connection and oneness. So, yes I am saying that Source is a model. But on the other hand, what I tried to describe as objective reality above is just a model too. Information from our senses travel along nerves to our brains. Our brains receive those signals and put together the picture that we accept as our reality. Our normal waking consciousness perceives reality a certain way and we accept it as true or we reject that reality as accept Source as the truth. I say either way we don't have Truth at all. All we have are models. Models are not "truth". The question is not whether a model is "true". The question is whether a model is "valid". When it comes to describing the physical world, the scientific objective model does extremely well. When it comes to describing spiritual experiences the Source model does extremely well. All models may be flawed. Some models are useful.
  5. I have been listening to a Podcast called "Live Awake" by Sarah Blondin. In one episode she puts it out there that she has a constant feeling that something is missing. And the only time she does not feel it is when she is totally engaged in the current moment. I have to agree. So to feel more alive/fun/joy is simple. Not easy. But simple. Be fully engaged and present in the moment. By the way the episode is called "Our call to presence (the home of your happiness)"
  6. I don't have any statistics to back it up, but I would rather give a bit more benefit of the doubt and say "people aren't always aware of their motivations" or maybe "sometimes people aren't aware of their motivations". I suppose I should admit that I'm not always aware of my motivations (but I do spend some amount of time trying to figure them out). Again no statistics but I think hate would drive a lot of negative in the world. But also "non-identification". As in "they" are not "us" and therefore "they" don't deserve decent treatment.
  7. I can see why you might think Teal says that but I want to disagree. When we are upset and we try to ignore it or tamp it down, those can be the days when we wake up at 3:00am still thinking about the problem. "What you resist, persists" Teal does say that Carl Jung said it first. So Teal says don't push feelings away. Process them. On the other hand, there is such a thing as fixation or rumination. But to my mind, fixation or rumination is when you get caught up in guilt and shame and think "I am bad. I am bad. I am stupid. I am worthless". That is beating ourselves up and it is not helpful. So I think we don't want to beat ourselves up but we do want to look objectively and with equanimity at our problems and process them. That is what I think Teal is saying. From Wikipedia: Equanimity (Latin: æquanimitas having an even mind; aequus even animus mind/soul) is a state of psychological stability and composure which is undisturbed by experience of or exposure to emotions, pain, or other phenomena that may cause others to lose the balance of their mind.
  8. I am finding it fascinating that our perspectives on Esperanto are so different. Walt claims Esperanto acts out of fear (I don't really know what Walt is saying here). Neptune claims Esperanto was coming from an honest place. And I claim that Esperanto was coming from a dishonest place and just trolling for the purpose of throwing out insults. It's like we are all trapped in our our separate realities. Who is right? Of course I would say that I am right and interpreting Esperanto correctly but I gotta admit that I could be trapped in my own subjective bubble of perception. Even If we ask Esperanto, Esperanto himself might not understand his own motivations. I do believe in the existence of an objective reality. And I believe that reality is NOT subjective to our beliefs. It has its own truth separate from what we think it is or should be. I would prefer that we use the word "reality" to refer to things NOT subjective to belief but I don't get to dictate to the world how words get used. So that could well be what Teal means by "multidimensional universe". A universe filled with different subjective realities.
  9. I don't know why you would say that about me, Walt. What am I afraid of?
  10. You are correct: I don't know Esperanto's motivation. with regard to Teal: I agree. I believe She does use her childhood as part of her marketing. (If she overcame her trauma, she can help you too!!!) with regard to "Source not existing". There are many many new age spiritualists who use the word "Source". It is not unique to Teal. But I will stand behind my assertion that Esperanto came into the forum with an opening gambit just for the purposes of throwing out insults. And now I will also say that I think he accomplished little or nothing.
  11. Over the past couple of days my personal goals for meditation have been changing. A few days ago my goal seemed to be to uncover crap in my subconscious mind to clean up the mess. I do believe in "shadow work" and I do believe it is good stuff. You wrote that you could achieve a "transcendental" state. I think I got a bit jealous because I'm not hitting transcendental states. But today I figured out that a good goal is to be immersed in the present moment. Happiness occurs when you find the joy in the present moment. So that is my new simple goal: Finding the joy of each moment. Not worrying about transcendental experiences and if stuff comes up out of the shadows (like jealousy) I'll deal with it at the time.
  12. Ayahuasca, marijuana and meditation As far as I know, ayahuasca reduces (or maybe eliminates) the barrier between your conscious mind and subconscious. So any bad shit in your subconscious (shadow) can hit you like a ton of bricks. And as far as I know shadow work using meditation can uncover things in your subconscious as well. But with ayahuasca the experience is extremely intense. (Never done it but have read about it.) the state of trancedence that a person may be able to get through meditation may be a lot like the high a person can get from marijuana. But is that the point? I suppose the point is to explore the full range of the inner world and not just one very pleasurable facet. any thoughts from inner world explorers would be appreciated.
  13. First I would like to say that I believe the point of meditation is to get more balance and wellness but I would like to have a feeling of trancedence once in while. I would say that I really only reached a state of transcendence a few times. And it seems to me that it happened on two occasions when I was really deeply relaxed and what I will call brain fog had set in. I was doing my yoga and was REALLY getting into it. It is hard to describe but it was like I shut off my conscious mind and felt kind of sleepy, or lethargic or maybe to word is torpor. When the brain fog cleared, I felt at one with everything. Alive, awake, maybe trancendence. Is that other people's experience? Do you have to get low in order to get high?
  14. Recently I read: "Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water."
  15. With regard to the first one, I have been working with "I don't have to be perfect. I do want to be 'good'." With regard to the second one, you mind me of something from Erich Schiffman: "Let go so much that you feel wide open, like the sky. Be unguarded. Undefended. And see what happens. For love is what is left when you let go of everything that you don't need."