Scot

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  1. Scot

    I actually get a great deal of satisfaction from my job, which I might describe as being more like a career. I feel like I make an important contribution to the world, and in return I get paid for that work. I believe that this is one of the things that really brings life meaning: learning, growing, and eventually using your talents to make a contribution to the world. With luck this could be your job or career. You might even feel like you achieve self-actualization.
  2. To my mind, there are two ways of looking at reality. 1- the objective approach: “reality” is that which remains true even when you don’t believe it. And, just because you believe it doesn’t make it reality. Example: you might not believe that water flows downhill, but it still does. You might believe you can fly with just the power of your mind but the evidence would suggest that you can’t. 2- the subjective approach: what we perceive as “real” is highly influenced by our thoughts and attitudes. Example: if your general perception of people is that everyone is pretty decent then you will interprete things that people say one way. But if your general perception of people is that everyone is a jerk who is out to get you then you will interprete things that people say very differently. I would prefer to use the word “perception” when it comes to the subjective approach but it seems that many people treat their perceptions as though it is reality. Thus, “reality” is heavily influenced by perception. Teal talks about “multi-dimensional reality”. To my mind, those multiple dimensions are just different people’s subjective perceptions. (Of course I could be wrong.)
  3. Scot

    I was watching “Married at First Sight” last night with my wife. One of the women on the show: Amber is an attractive fairly short blonde women and the guy she married finds her physically attractive. However, she found out that he is usually attracted to tall brunettes. This caused a lot of anxiety for Amber. She was finding it difficult to accept that her husband actually finds her attractive. Her anxiety could actually end up causing huge problems and if it’s bad enough ruining their relationship. My point is that we actually all have some anxieties but we have to learn to accept ourselves. There is no such thing as perfect. We need to accept ourselves as being perfectly imperfect and then accept the love that we find, when we are lucky enough to find it.
  4. My understanding (or perhaps misunderstanding) is that Oneness is an experience that the entire universe (including yourself) is One, or God (if you like), or Source. The model is that everything is an ocean of energy and we are just waves on the ocean. So no, I don’t get the multiple Source idea.
  5. Scot

    For me, I felt like I reached Self-actualization when I became an I.T. Trainer. There are still more challenges and more hills to climb but nonetheless I feel like I hit my self-actualization. Another thing that has brought huge meaning to my life is opening up and really connecting deeply. And for me, exploring spiritual ideas and searching for self-realization has also brought meaning. Atman is Brahman. I can try to explain that, if you want to go there.
  6. Scot

    Hey @Britton In my experience it is rare to find someone who dives deep. I’ll go there when the time is right. I have been working through something like a mid-life crisis. I have a book that calls it the “middle passage”. It is a change from the provisional adulthood to the second adulthood. Seems to me a lot of it involve letting go of the fears and walls that locked us away. But I have found that when you let go of your fears and walls you have to stay grounded in objective reality. And when you deal with other people, you might let the walls down but you have to learn to respect boundaries. More later... I am glad to meet you. Scot
  7. Scot

    I used to treat the ideas of chakras with a great deal of skepticism. Maybe I never thought they were total crap but “Spinning vortices of energy”? Please! however, I have come to the opinion that “energy” is just sensation. And “chakras” are centers of energy which simply means that they are centers of sensation. I have only really smoked pot once. (One time where it actually did something to me). I definitely remember feeling pressure build up inside my head (on the sides above my ears). Then something opened up and the pressure trickled up to the crown of my head. I figure that sensation at the crown of my head is my crown chakra. I told a friend of mine about this and she said “you can’t make that assumption. You don’t actually know your sensation is the same as what the mystics talk about”. Here is what I am saying: chakras are centers of sensation. If you feel ANY SENSATION in that location then it IS the chakra. The first few times I went to my church (I started going about a year and a half ago) I had a definite sensation in the front of my head. The sensation was centered around the center of my eyebrows. So... third eye chakra. During meditation I still get what feels like a bit of pressure out on the sides above my ears. Things do feel very “open” but maybe I still have some blocked channels. Maybe I need to find a guru.
  8. I feel the same way. That’s why I post here.
  9. I think the more you understand yourself, the better you can understand other people. But strangely enough, sometimes it seems we aren’t all coming from the same place. I’ll give you an example from a long time ago. Some guy started posting here on the Teal Swan forum. I personally thought “Here is a nice guy who is just trying to be a better husband. His wife is having difficulties and he needs a little support and encouragement to be a better husband.” Another person (who is no longer on this forum) thought “This person who is representing himself as the downtrodden husband is looking for justification so he can continue to treat his wife poorly and is looking for someone to say that he is all right and she is all wrong.” The difference in perspective made each of us interprete the posts very differently. It was like we were in different universes. This is just an example of how sometimes people aren’t coming from the same place.
  10. Scot

    I believe I have had the sensation of pressure building up. (I am trying to remember) I definitely remember sensations of channels getting unblocked. This happened back in December 2017 and January 2018. Since then I haven’t felt the sensations as much. It simply feels like things are open. Of course I have heard of nadis and chakras. I didn’t believe in them until I started to feel something. I have come to believe that “energy” is just sensation. If we are experiencing something similar (and I don’t know if we are) then I would say that you can probably expect channels to open and the pressure to not build up. I hope someone who has more knowledge answers.
  11. Scot

    Hi again Garnet, Something else I would like to add would be that the dominant person might come to believe that that is all they are. Thus, cutting themselves off from their own softer side. And I think this is to the detriment of the dominant person.
  12. Scot

    Off the top of my head, I think the patriarchy rewards and values strength, power, and possibly even dominance. It doesn’t value the softer things, such as empathy, support and nurturing. And so, those people who identify more with their softer side (which includes maybe most women but also many men) feel oppression, shame etc. for not being the powerful, dominant person.
  13. Scot

    I have a close friend who is a social worker and has a lot of training in psychology. She claims we can never completely understand ourselves. All we can do is notice our own behavior and feelings. personally I know I can drive myself nuts trying to figure out my own motivations. Sometimes I can figure stuff out. Sometimes I can’t.
  14. Scot

    I believe that your feelings of love are absolutely real. The feelings are real. However, do you really know this person well? I have a book that says at least at the beginning stages, we don’t actually fall in love with the person. But rather we fall in love with our idealized version of the person. Years later, if the person doesn’t live up to our idealized version for them then that leads to disappointment and divorce. Take your time to get to know this person. Compatibility: In a lifetime together, the thing you are going to do the most is communicate so make sure that talking to each other is comfortable. Another consideration is what do you like to spend your free time doing? You won’t always be on the same page but it helps if most of the time you enjoy spending your time in similar ways. do you both want kids? How many? This is usually a major deal breaker. do you want to live in a house, or an apartment. Maybe this is not a deal breaker. can you support her and help her be the person she wants to be? Can she do the same for you?
  15. Scot

    The connection does definitely evolve. Life continues to provide challenges. You can grow together or grow apart. Ssems to me that these four questions might apply and help eleviate your frustration. Each person should ask these questions, maybe everyday. 1- did i authentically state my needs? 2- did I give without expectation? 3- did I receive without guilt? (This could be harder than one might think) 4- did I acknowledge the things that matter?