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About Ale

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  • Birthday December 26

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  1. Jinxed? Please, help Dear forumers, I hope for your advice. Quite some time ago I accidentally met a gypsy woman on the street and without any ado she came to me and said that she sees I've been unfortunate in my love life and there is a jinx on me and some enviers who have a bad influence on my fate (or aura or something like that). My personal life was indeed quite far from what I wished it to be so I was quite shocked and scared. Some days ago I received a severe blow - some of my plans I cherished were ruined at once due to external circumstances beyond my control. Considering also a lasting pain from the faluire of my last relationship (I suffered from my ex's indifference and got dumped in the end), I felt quite devastated and a friend advised me to go to a fortuneteller who can read tea leaves. My friend said that that woman foretold her some events which actually came true after. So I decided to try. This woman told me some quite good things but she also pointed out that there is a kind of bad interference into my destiny from someone outside and many enviers who are sort of contributing to it. She told me that it seems like I have many lonely women unfortunate in their personal life around (which is true cos I have several single girlfriends in their 30s and some married but not quite happy ones). She said that my mum and grandma also have this jinx and were lonely or unfortunate with their husbands (true). And she said that someone "got into my fate" and that's why all my men tend to leave me. It is someone from my farther's side - his mum or his lover (don't know if there is/was one). So I asked what I can do about it and she said: nothing to "lift the jinx", you can just try to protect yourself from the impact of this bad influence and hope for the best. I feel so confused now. And contagious to the boot, like I am really jinxed and cannot do anything about it. I really did not believe much in this sort of things before that gypsy woman. Maybe it was foolish to go to the fortuneteller. But now I want to ask if I can really do something about it myself (I do not want to go to fortunetellers anymore or witches or anything of the sort). Can I protect myself or lift this jinx if it is somehow possible?
  2. Thank you so much, guys, for your advices and words of compassion! Dear Mufhry, it's the first time in my life it's so intense but it was mounting for about 4 years already. I asked the Universe to show me my "demons", my old unhealed traumas from childhood, so I could better apply the Completion Process (I have bought Teal's book) and probably here they are. Sometimes I have a hope and I see a brighter future, like now, sometimes I am totally devastated like yesterday when I was writing this post. I hope this is really a transition and I can walk through my darkness to appreciate the light better on the other side. Dear Walt, Thank you so much! I have checked that Saturn's Return and it told me exactly the same I was intuitively feeling for about a year or two. It turned out I was making subconscious steps towards what I was supposed to do according to the sign my Saturn falls into. It's amazing! I really really hope it will come true because if I succeed I will do my Saturn's Return in perfect accordance with what astrology says
  3. It can be childhood traumas. You may read about Fear of abandonment. Also the book of Claudia Black called Changing Course: Healing from Loss, Abandonment and Fear may help you to understand more about your problem. You are not alone here. A lot of people struggle with the same issue.
  4. Vibration changed or source turned away from me? It happened that a half of the year ago I initiated break up with my boyfriend (I did not feel there was love anymore). And since then everything began to spiral into abyss. My mom got seriously ill, I was almost fired from work I like, three universities denied me a scholarship so I cannot continue my studies now, my friends began to withdraw one by one. Now I am almost friendless (and two-three years ago I was heart and soul of big group of my friends), I do not have any candidates for boyfriend, I am almost 30, I do not have my own place to live, no kids, no money, I see my beauty fades away. I think I have problems but I cannot afford any councelling. I could never imagine earlier it can be so bad. My life gets worse year by year. I feel like complete failure in everything. I feel fear constantly, I feel depressed, hopeless, powerless. I see how other people move on, achieve their goals in life, but I do not have power to struggle anymore. Everything is in vane, whatever I start fails sooner or later. I see how opportunities pass by and it eats me alive. I am terrified by thought that all life will pass by and I will not have any strength or desire or opportunity to change anything. I feel like life runs away from me. I do not want to die, but I do not want to live either. I do not hate myself, I just give up on myself. Every day I pray God to give me strength, to help me, but I fear he gave all this to me to struggle through and so he will not help. What can I do? I feel so alone and only here on this forum I can open up about my desperation. How much I would like to have even one single person who would care for me. How it is precious if you have anybody, family, friend, even a pet who is glad to see you. I would like to ask if anybody here can give me any advice on what I can do? Is there any way out of this abyss?
  5. I do not understand my friend's behavoir Hi there! My question is about my friend or more accurately I would like to consider her as friend but just cannot understand her behavoir. And it's important for me. It went like this: she is a sister of my ex bf with whom we kept good relationship after breakup. My ex bf asked her to make me company while I was visiting their hometown (he was out on business trip). She agreed and at first I thought she was just being polite. But when we met we literally could not stop talking. She turned out to be a very interesting person and had so much in common with me. We spent only two evenings together and I felt like I have been knowing her since childhood. She admitted the same. So she behaved super friendly. I can see when attention is just superficial and polite but her attention for me felt like of genuine interest. She even told me some intimate facts about her family and herself - the things you would not usually share with random people. When I left it was the first time for me that I really missed a person and it's only after two evenings of talking! When I came home I texted her and she replied with a lot of warmth and since then when I make a new post on FB she "likes" it. But after I came back home she never initiated any contacts. Once I sent her a funny pic with short comment and she replied very warmly with a long text. I have asked her a relevant question... and she never replied. She still likes my photos but never writes me and I do not know if she wants to continue our texting. I am not her friend actually to expect a certain behavoir or demand her attention. I do not want to impose myself on her. But I would like to be friends with her as she seems to be a wonderful person. I just do not understand her behavoir. Do you have any suggestions why she behaves this way and should I continue to try make friend with her?
  6. Hi, everyone! I need an advice, especially from those who have positive and healthy experience of romantic relationships or marriage. It happened sadly that in my late 20s I still have no experience of real love. I have one guy who I have grown an attachment to. Or maybe this is love so here I would like to ask for your advice. So this guy theats me well most of the time. When we are together he is caring and attentive, he does not speak much about his feelings for me but showes it more with his actions. Mostly these are little signes which however mean a lot to me: he organised a picnic just for two of us and other events to amuse me, once when I spoke on the phone outside and my heandwas exposed to cold he covered it with his hand to warm it up and so on. Also he cooks for me and buys food, always takes heavy bags from me and provides physical support, etc. When we are together I dont feel butterflies in my stomach as romantic books and movies often show. I am not enchanted by him, dont think he is perfect and ideal in everything. I see his weaknesses but it's not a big deal for me, like not very important. But what I like is that with him I always feel safe and... I dont know... like everything is right. It does not make me super happy and does not bring me to the 7th heaven but I feel so nice calmness behind him and it seems like everything will be right and good ahead. When he is out of the city I miss him and want to check up every day on how he is doing and feeling but at the same time I can't say I can't live without him. I think I can survive break up with him fairly well. I want him to be happy with or without me and I am able to live my life quite good without him, it's just much better when we are together. So I would like to ask if it seems to you like love? Or real love is different and this one is just something superficial?
  7. Ale

    Dear Garnet, No, I do even more sometimes, because I feel so much energy and life inside! In my last relationship, you can't even imagine how much I grew up, my man encouraged me (indirectly, I think he even does not have an idea about it) to become more brave, apply for studies abroad, not be afraid to travel more and work on my shadows. And I was so happy - it was not those butterflies in the stomach but steady and harmonic happiness as if I knew that everything will be alright from now on because my life became what it ment to be. I miss him so much. I miss what I have been with him. I know that truly enlightened person can be the same happy on their own. Probably it will happen with me somewhere in future but, oh my God, how I want to experience happiness of being with someone, loved and loving. Why I don't deserve it? :'-(
  8. Ale

    Thank you, Vincent, I will watch that video of Teal, I think I have missed it. But I do not have an I Want To Marry Someone Now attitude towards relationship. When I say I want serious relationship it does not include immediate marriage. I can't imagine to want to marry someone before I get to know the person and feel deep trust and connection with them which implies for me at least a year of close loving exclusive relationship. I just want to love and to be truly loved and valued in return. I think the marriage will be natural result of it. Probably guys feel that I want something serious, not something short and with no strings attached so they fade away when they see it gets serious and begins to require some responsibility from them. I do not blame those guys, they are just not "my" guys. I just want to know what does not allow me to meet "my guy"?
  9. Ale

    No, I stay myself the most of time, although I tend not to initiate any conflicts even if I do not like smth and sometimes let guys violate my boundaries. When it gets serious for me I just begin to tell the guy more about my inner self like about by dreams and heart desires (it does not include any "I want three kids with you" talks). And I begin to let my heart go and immerse into the enchantment of "loving and being loved". But if I look back to my relationship experience it seems to me that guys like me the most when I am indifferent to them, when do not pay much attention and prefer all my activities to them. And although I keep enjoying many sides of my life being inrelationship too, does it mean that I should always keep some distance from the guy and never fall for him? What is the point of the relationship for me then? But otherwise, when I let my heart to love, I get abandoned... Probably it is my destiny to never know the pleasure of mutual love
  10. Ale

    Hi, Garnet, ok, I understand and accept the idea that if the guy moves on quickly it means that he was not ment to be in my life. But I just do not understand why it continues to happen. I do not want and, frankly speaking, can not go into superficial relationship. I can not open up to everyone but if I see that the guy is worthy I open up and then he abandons me. I could understand it if I was revealing dirty secrets or showing my dark side, but no, I just begin to trust the guy and become more vulnerable and then it happens. As for too solid relationship I have an example when the guy was so much into me that wanted us to marry but then he had an affair with another girl so we broke up and he married that girl. After that, probably being unhappy in this marriage, he continued to contact me saying that he misses me and wants to be in touch. So if he had so solid feelings for me why he abandoned me in the first place?
  11. Ale

    Hi! I am also feeling alone sometimes. I am not ignored. My problem is abandonment. All people dear to me abandon me in many different ways. But I still have hope that one day I will meet someone who will stay by my side no matter what. I believe if you believe in something with all your heart it will come true one day. Imagine you will me this person which will be so enchanted by you the way you are, how immensely valuable this bond will be, how happy you will feel. It will happen one day trust me.
  12. Abandonment and avoiding I think that there is something wrong with me. Every time I begin any meaningful relationship (mostly romantic) there is the same scenario: the guy shows interest, courts me and seems positively in love, says that I am the one and he would like to have the person like me for a life partner. At first I am always just friendly with him for some weeks because it takes time for me to get used to a new man. The guy goes out of his way, he is really caring, loving and sweet. So I begin to open up, be tender, loving and caring. And there it crashes all the time the same way: something happens and the guy abandones me. He moves abroad or to another city, gets another girl, suddenly stops talking to me, has more important things to do, etc. I do not get clingy or needy, been there, I know I have changed a lot since then. I just do not understand why those who fall for me suddenly and drastically change when I begin to fall for them. All guys I was serious about in my life have abandoned me. And another common scenarion: I live my life and there is a guy who is very much interested in me. He is persistent and asks for a date. I can agree, I can not but in 98% of cases (excluding those 6 guys I developed feelings for) they turn out to be completly anattractive to me, all having big turn offs (being immature, clingy, needy, foul or with no interests in common). So I begin to avoid them or tell them upfront that we can not have any relationships. Avoiding relationship or being abandoned in relationship is all I have experienced in life. I watched Teal's videos so many times to find an answer. I know now that it probably goes from my childhood because my farther was distant with me, avoided me and abandoned me many times. But I forgave him, I understand that he did not want to hurt me, he was just raised in bad family and has this character. I love my farther with all my heart. So why I still have these issues in my life... Why? I want to brake these scenarios and I want so much to find an answer and to stop this constant dull pain of being abandoned by those whom I let very close to my heart... I would much appreciate any advice.
  13. Ale

    Oh my God, I can't believe it!! Dear Tessa Rae, thank you for sharing yourself! I was amazed when I found this topic cos only 20 minutes ago I was hurting inside concerning the same thing: I was ignored by the guy I feel so much to, I could wait his reply for several days and I was surfing through this forum to find some solace (or answer). And I did not understand why,why,why I am feeling so hurt. I mean some other people do not reply straight away and I do not care.. So your story turned out to be almost like my story and sometimes I thought: wow, we feel the same! I am very glad that I came across this thread and thank you so much again for sharing!! As for the possible cure for my issue, I have used The Work for exploring my thought: He does not reply fast and it means he does not care. The more I thought the more simple things (how come it has never come to my mind) appeared: not always people who reply fast love you the best, sometimes I myself do not reply and it does not mean I dislike the person, it just happens, even if he does not care it just means he is not "my guy", and so on. I feel a bit better now Hope it will help!
  14. Ale

    Dear Ravenwood135 and Zola, I do feel the same so I want to ask for your advice here. I don't remember if I was abandoned much in childhood although yes my dad did not pay much attention to me due to his reserved unemotional nature. But now being adult I face a lot of abandonment, especially from my friends and boyfriends. They treat me well but seems like they don't care much if I am here or not. They can ignore my messages or take like several days to reply. They never ask me how I feel and I think they are not interested much.. They often have smth more important or interesting to do than to talk to me. I am not clingy or needy. I live my life and have hobbies. 95% of people I meet every day (colleagues, acquantances, random people) treat me very good, say that I'm a great person, interesting, deep. So I do not understand why my close ones tend to abandone me? I feel lonely and depressed. Probably you can advise me some books or excersises? And the second part of my question: I feel resentment and desire to behave the same way towards them sometimes. Or tell them that they hurt me. But I just do not really understand who is wrong here, wether it's my complexes manifest or they violate my boundaries? Thank you for any advice!
  15. Ale

    Hello everyone! Hello there! My name is Alena and I am from Russia Nice to meet you! Finally I have found a community where I can share what I feel and what I think. I have been watching Teal's videos for two years already and it helped me immencely to survive the darkest times. I am so greatful for all work she is doing for people. I hope that further personal growth will help me and others to feel better and find love and happiness within