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About Calvin

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  • Birthday 08/10/1988

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  1. Hello Llisa, Is medicinal marijuana an option for you? I don't have any personal experience but it's the first thing that came to mind when i thought about pain and appetite. Good luck, all the love
  2. Thanks OP for creating this thread! I've been thinking about this also. I took up gaming again this past year (after losing interest in it for a couple of years) and even though I just play casually I've still struggled with the competitiveness that I experience. I've discovered that I hate losing, I absolutely loathe it at times. I get so invested in a particular match and I play my heart out all to result in a loss, it's so emotionally painful. I get so angry, and disappointed. For me I think competitiveness can be harmful because I tend to invest so much of myself into the outcome, that anything other than a win feels like the ultimate failure, basically the end of the world. It sounds dramatic but it really brings out some strong negative emotions. I think it's related to my own self worth, and my sense of purpose in this universe, and also my desires. I subconsciously place so much importance on winning that if I don't get the desired outcome, I'm not worthy, and that I'll never get what I want out of life. When it comes to gaming I have this deep desire to be better than everyone else and I guess to be recognise as such. I don't know where this comes from. I also understand that for this to be true, someone else has to be second, or last. I think competition can most serve expansion in the form of trying to become better than yourself, rather than trying to becoming better than others (while acknowledging that you're good enough as you are) That's my recent experience anyway p.s. my poison has been Overwatch haha