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About urbanmystic

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  1. urbanmystic

    ' most spiritual teachers are just fragmenting you further, (they are helping you become more selectively identified.)' Teal you are a courageous badass for doing this work
  2. urbanmystic

    this is great guys but the echo makes it hard to hear sometimes. next time no church???
  3. urbanmystic

    i'm so glad you have the monopoly on mental health and relationships, so that i could receive the right answer from you! piss off you creep
  4. urbanmystic

    walt your replies to me and to other people are always inherently negative and framed with rude wording that is off putting. im wondering how you feel when you send them to people. Are you wanting to punish us for how we are feeling? you are making assumptions here in your statement, and even if you had a good point to make, the way you worded it was so off putting, that i'm not inclined to listen to you. You are a very active member here, it seems like you want connection, but it is my opinion you are pushing people away.
  5. setting conditions vs. getting needs met Hi all, Curious about your perspective. I am practicing asking for my needs to be met more in my current relationship than in any other I have been in previously. So, that is a good thing. Definitely minimizing bitterness and passive aggressiveness on my end when my partner does not 'magically know' what I need . I am stuck on a point though, and can't seem to really get to the other side of it. If I am asking for my needs to be met, and they conflict with my partner's current comfort level or preference; and if I set it as a high priority need to be met, am I not in a way sending the message that I only love him if he does as I say? Sure, I don't ask him to meet every single need, but there are definitely some only a partner can meet. And lately he is working hard at meeting some important ones, but others ones not budging on mainly because they relate to his current evolutionary growth prompt, which he is not wanting to face. I love this person, I am willing to be patient, but how do you know A. If a need is so important it MUST be met for the relationship to continue, and B. If setting up a standard for behavior (asking for the need to be met), is in fact sending a message of conditional love.
  6. urbanmystic

    I studied Ayurveda for many years. If you are interested in that perspective, it is definitely a digestive issue. Especially if you wake up with white coating on your tongue, it means there are undigested toxins. If you wanted to try that perspective, do not do oil pulling, you need good digestion for that or any oil treatment- which could actually make the issue worse. Imagine tossing heavy gallons of oil on a tiny flame of a fire, you may think it would ignite, but no it will put it out completely. The fire is your digestive power-agni- which is currently low. Best advice I can give you without you seeing a practitionter- which is ideal for long-term treatment is to 1. drink and eat foods that are cooked and warm only (or pre-boiled water at room temp) 2. Do not snack and wait until you are hungry to eat- do not eat by the clock, or late at night 3. don't overdo water- common health myth- drink to your thirst. These steps are harder to do than one might think, I know as a former raw vegan. Good luck to you
  7. urbanmystic

    well then wouldnt the completion process be the helpful antidote? Going back to therapy seems utterly hopeless. any specific type of counselor you would reccommend?
  8. urbanmystic

    wow, that doesnt feel good to hear. I have done years of therapy, and I dont feel like it has done much actually. I feel like you are saying I'm a hopeless case.
  9. urbanmystic

    I just want to stop feeling paralyzed by emotions in life. i really dont know what to do. I feel like I've had a breakdown, and its clear that a big issue is holding myself back out of deep fear of rejection. I even want to push away my loving partner because I am sure they will leave if they see how fucked up I truly am. There is no evidence they will leave and we have very transparent communication. I can see that self love is trying to stay in a relationship I value, and being vulnerable because it is what I truly want regardless of the partner's actions. It also became clearer yesterday that I am creating the reality of rejection, because it was literally happening in every single interraction, it was uncanny. Somehow I still feel a victim to my reality, my mind, and I cannot seem to empower myself enough to focus positively towards what I want. The pain is unbearable. Can anyone offer their perspective on creating positive reality from a not so positive place?
  10. urbanmystic

    that's really helpful Mark, thank you. I have a hard time experiencing dreams, but I will try the other practice.
  11. urbanmystic

    Thanks for that Walt I do have quite a few
  12. urbanmystic

    Thanks for your kind words and guidance
  13. the work doesnt end, but does it stabilize? I feel broken all the time, and am self focused out of fear and wanting to fix myself desperately. If there is nothing wrong with me, then why do I feel so alone and unsuccessful? And yet, if im self-focused then somehow I am a narcissist in the view of the world and cannot contribute effectively to the relationships I want so desperately to have. I feel terribly alone, it is unbearable. I am creating myself as my own enemy, the mind is incredibly active, so much so I fear it to be frank. I can create any painful reality for myself and believe it fully. Sometimes I feel like I dont even know what reality is or who I am. I think I could just let this pass as a bad night, and do my regular completion process and shadow work, journaling etc. but I am always shocked and disheartened at how much work I feel it takes to just be 'normal' or functioning in this world. I feel angry that I have to do so much processing and work, that I am constantly triggered, even after doing completion process around 50 times at this point, and shadow work and other modalities fill my life completely. The neuroses seem to just keep coming and unfolding right when I think I am healthy. I feel so disheartened right now. Teal posted the throat chakra episode today and as i was answering the questions, I realized all the ways I'm fucked up in this area; actually it became painfully clear on FB today in a discussion on a hot button topic. Yes, you could argue that these aspects were being illumined for integration, but sometimes I feel like things get illumined and not really integrated all the way. How do you integrate something completely? In the last year I have received a lot of disappointment on the personal and career level and no matter what I do it keeps coming. Im sorry i realize this sounds like a terrible soap opera. I definitely have light in my life, and do not feel depressed per se, not like I used to. And yet it seems all my effort- to figure out a great career, to have achievements related to it, to have a meaningful intimate relationship and friendships and family relations they all seem deranged and fruitless
  14. I would agree, You have a right to be angry. But the more important thing is to realize that you are still trying to get them to act a certain way towards you, and I can tell you from having abusive family, it will never happen. In my opinion, you need to realize that you feel responsible and guilty towards them, and you keep trying to be the fixer. You can never satisfy all them. If i were you, I would focus all my effort on finding a loving support system- slowly building friendships that are based on truth and respect, not with people that will expect you to take care of them. This will take time- find out what you like to do and go out there and try hobbies- take classes and things. Meetup with Teal tribe people or other internet groups. Find out what you like and build a life based on what YOU want, not what others want you to do. You will need to learn how to listen to yourself, and make decisions based on what works for you. You deserve loving connection and for your opinion and needs to be valued. I wish you freedom and good luck