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GabijaCij

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  1. The city was immersed in low hanging rain clouds yesterday. Atypical of Denver (which is usually sunny), walking from building to building, one couldn’t help but feel like they had meandered into a real life replica of Gotham City (The fantasy city which was the setting for Batman). Denver sits on the high rolling plains, 12 miles east of the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. It owes its birth as a major US city, to the gold rush. Admittedly, I have spent a great deal of time in Denver. My father’s side of the family lives there and so does my only life-long friend Lauren, whom you will p
  2. We cannot forever smile To know the value of a smile. Its symmetry is only known By the violent disagreement of woe Sorrow is the spot light That Illuminates joy On the stage of life We must first clutch our griefs In quivering arms To learn how to drop them To learn how to embrace Relief instead When you taste the value of a smile When you feel its symmetry Against your lips You will see that you are the richest man on earth Who has been begging for a living That you already made You will see that you are the freest man on earth Who has been bangi
  3. The smell of breakfast greets me. The sounds of my people laughing in the kitchen. My eyes are opened to an unfamiliar house. The curtains let a sliver of light into the room and through it; I can see a humming bird hovering beneath the flowers on the tree outside. San Francisco seems to wake up slowly. People walk their dogs up and down the streets, yawning. The coastal light moves slowly into position in the sky. I have been here for 4 days now. It usually takes me a matter of an hour or less in a place to give my “energy diagnosis”. But I confess that this time it took days. Each
  4. Here, most people are suffering their way through our fate. Stuck in some kind of container that they call day to day life, that keeps their true life at bay. When we are in the midst of a dark night of the soul, which many of us are, we cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. We stumble through the black abyss of the confusion and pain that crushes inward so hard it makes us want to take our own life… And some of us do. The truth is, we are suffering a death. It isn’t that we think we’re going to die, we are dying quite literally. The layers of the ego are being killed off one by
  5. I roll to the left. My perspective is still beneath the blanket. But I am lying face down beside my body. I feel the warmth of my body beside me. I smell the slightly sweet and familiar scent of my skin. Like the feeling you have when your alarm clock goes off and you have to be somewhere, I knew I needed to be somewhere. The feeling was incentive enough to slide out of bed. Instead of sliding out from underneath the blankets, I simply moved through the different layers of the duvet and out the other side. Now standing in my room, I moved to the window past the four guides whose consci
  6. One day an old farmer discovered that his horse had wandered off into a forest. His friend said, “How unlucky that your horse had wandered off.” The farmer’s response was “Maybe so, maybe not.” A day later, the horse came back, bringing another horse with him that he had met in the wild. The farmer’s friend said, “How lucky to have two horses now”. The farmer replied “Maybe so, maybe not.” A few days later, the farmer’s son broke his arm trying to tame the second horse. The farmer’s friend said, “How unlucky that your son broke his arm falling off the horse” to which the farmer said, “M
  7. It is a rare thing for someone whose interests are as fringe as mine are, to poke their head into mainstream pop culture. But pop my head in I have. Whenever mass attention is directed towards one particular thing, it creates a huge point of expansion and that is fascinating to all beings within the universe, including myself. This month, it is a movie that has attracted some serious attention. The movie is called 50 Shades of Grey. It is an adaptation from a series of erotic romance books. The reason that it has attracted so much attention is that unlike the average and predictable roma
  8. I am flying home today. Up out of the gray and rain that has cloaked Austin, Texas and above the clouds. I can see that to the people who love it, Austin is a city full of treasures, a place to fit in when you don’t fit in anywhere. I wholeheartedly celebrate the quirkiness of it. I am also happy to leave the cluttered chaos of Austin today for the aesthetic expansiveness of the city I call home. When I am sorting through a really huge thrift store, I start to get a headache from overstimulation. This dizzy ache of overwhelm from the overstimulation of being here in this thrift store like
  9. The light in Texas is tinted it’s usual tan hue. The ring of unfamiliar bird calls pierce down from above. Looking out into the neighbor’s back yard from this little house that I rented, I can plainly see a manikin sitting in a bathtub. This kind of funky lawn décor is not uncommon in Austin Texas. I had heard before coming here that the city’s slogan was “Keep Austin Weird”. But I had no idea just how weird until I got here. There is no cohesion to the city at all. The best way to describe Austin is to imagine that the city itself is a giant thrift store sprawl. There is no organizati
  10. I am taken out of body by a member of my non-physical entourage Stuart Wilde. As always, he smells of menthol snuff. He has a smile that says “I’m plotting something that’s going to turn things upside down.” I have learned to follow that smile with a curious hesitation as it so often leads to a collapse of the current reality. We end up walking down a street in Hackney (East London). People are rushing about. I can tell from the clothing that it is the 70s, a time when Stuart was alive. We have returned to a memory of his. We walk into a food market and we watch a boy with sandy colore
  11. The theme of this year we are in is stability and on the flip side, instability. And the instability/stability that has been highlighted by the beginning of this year is interpersonal connection. The expansion that is occurring within the consciousness of mankind and thus in our individual lives lately has been relative to relationships. I have an esoteric technique called 'The Connection Process' for entering into people and creating a connection through unconditional focused presence. Here is the process for you to try: Choose a place with no distractions and sit down in front of
  12. The agonized sea of parting ways heaves and cracks against the heart His smile burns its ways across my grief As if teasing As if reminding me of what I have lost The sound of heartbreak Rings heavy like a bell underwater The impact of the echo of it could be my undoing But here I am I have not broken under the blow of it But I want to The sun is setting Both inside and out I am capsized by the sound of my own voice A plea to the listening sky A renunciation Instead of a wanting I am done wanting Done wanting for a life I never had Done wanting from a m
  13. The old must cease for expansion to occur. But the old is not half as prevalent outside, as it is prevalent within you. It is the outdated structure of the mind that must be laid to rest for the new to be born. Today was (I am sad to admit) my first day skiing of the season. I’d usually be the first person in line on opening day, but this year I’ve been too passionate about my career projects. The snow was perfect. The sun illuminated the mountain like a gallery light intent on showing off its splendor. Blake and I were in no hurry today. We made our way to our various favorite slopes
  14. Two feet of fresh snow has accumulated outside my house in the past three days. The sun is illuminating it this morning to the point that it is so white, it hurts to look at. Last night the temperature dipped to minus 17 degrees fahrenheit (-27.2 Celsius) at the house. The cold has put the town to sleep. There are hardly any cars on the roads, which are covered in a coating of ice and hard packed snow. Across the valley, smoke and steam rises from the tops of houses. Horses dig with their heavy front hooves to reach the grass. The sky is like an electric blue counterpane overhead. The
  15. Abraham Lincoln once said that no man is good enough to govern another man without the other’s consent. And then it must be considered that the giving of consent is an act of free will and therefore the giver of consent is governing himself by giving his power away. All change is met with resistance. People often accuse me of being a cult leader and of the 'tribe' being a cult. Many 'Tribers' have come forward to confess this year that their family and friends are flipping out about their involvement with myself or the group because they think it is a cult. They have asked me to speak
  16. I woke this morning to what sounded like a riot in the street below the apartment. Throwing back the curtain, instead of traffic, I could see a heavy crowd of people in jogging outfits running both directions. It was a 5k run in the heart of Miami Beach Florida. Looking out the window, there is an expanse of lush palm trees. The city buildings shine platinum white in the sun. There is not a single cloud in the sky. The roofs of the buildings and houses below me are marbled with the stains of ocean salt. Miami is a confusing city on a vibrational level. The city itself doesn’t have
  17. The plane is swaying up and down and side to side in the clear blue of the sky. The rows of heads in front of me sway opposite the movements of the plane, subconsciously trying to find equilibrium. I couldn’t get a window seat on this plane flight to Miami, Florida and so I am packed like some kind of snack food in the center row. It is a good excuse to integrate feelings of claustrophobia. With my time in the airport, watching the variety of people walk by, I have been thinking about looks. I have never been to Miami, but based on my level of sudden interest in the topic of appearanc
  18. The Nostalgia is palpable in the house tonight. The fire was crackling, adding cozy notes to the Christmas music playing in the background. Songs that have been retired for a year danced through the room. The familiar notes of them pulling a beautiful ache of sentiment from my heart. We assembled the Christmas tree and the lights were switched on. Multi colored, radiant dots, climbing up the tree. They twinkle as you walk around the tree. One by one, we pulled out the ornaments. Picking out our favorite ones and putting them on the tree, in a half an hour the tree was completely dresse
  19. Today is the third day of a snowstorm that has been gracing the Wasatch Range. My heater doesn’t work and with no one available to fix it, our lives now revolve around the fireplace. I am sitting in front of it now, watching the violent orange flames racing up into the air. The constant crackle of the firewood is soothing to me. I did an interview today with a christian site. It is the first time I have granted an interview to anyone associated with Christianity in a very long time because it usually results in an onslaught of hate mail immediately afterward. After today’s intervie
  20. Between it and myself stood an assembly of souls. Clambering to see over and around one another, they had all come to see this one thing, this triumph of one man’s artistic genius. But why had they come? What is it about this one piece of art that has made it, amongst all others, the most famous piece of art in the world? Overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of people at the Louvre museum in Paris France I made my way eagerly through the cluttered corridors. The splendor of the Louvre is unsurpassed. When I saw the iconic art piece from afar, I was absolutely struck by how small it is.
  21. The dusty, federal blue feathers of a Steller’s Jay on my railing are skimmed by the morning light. Only sparse yellow and orange leaves grace the branches of the trees outside. Most of them have already greyed and fallen. The valley feels as if it is looking to the sky, waiting for snow. Tomorrow is Halloween, or should I say Samhain. Samhain was merged with All Soul’s Day by the Catholic Church when they tried to take over all of the “heretic pagan festivals” with their own holidays to try to get people to stop celebrating them. I find it hilarious that they thought it was more civil
  22. The collective consciousness of mankind is deeply unsettled right now as a result of the recent Ebola outbreak. As thousands of people die in Africa, we are watching the virus crop up in other parts of the globe. As per usual, the news outlets have grabbed hold of the ordeal and have turned it into a worldwide reason to panic. Like AIDS, Ebola is transmitted through contact with bodily fluids (as opposed to air) such as blood, vomit, saliva, sweat, feces or urine. The major problem on a physical level as per usual is poor sanitation. In places like Guinea, Sierra Leone, Nigeria and Li
  23. The flavors in this soup mix to create the feeling of an internal embrace. It's comforting texture and scent are reminiscent of those crisp fall evenings when the red and yellow leaves are falling. Fall Time Pumpkin Soup (Serves 12) 1 small pumpkin (peeled, de seeded and cut into 2 inch cubes... enough to fill a 12 quart saucepan ~ 3/4 full) 1 large onion (chopped) 3 cups potatoes (peeled and chopped into 2" cubes) 3 Tbsp olive oil 1/2 tsp all spice 2 pinches nutmeg 1/2 tsp cinnamon 1 Tbsp salt 6 large cloves of garlic (crushed or diced)
  24. To my right, the boardwalk Ferris wheel, with it’s yellow and red seats rises above the wave break. Surfers sit on their boards, staring out into the open sea; waiting for the promising feel of the right wave to meet them. They turn around in the water and paddle with anxious smiles on their faces; positioning themselves to be carried into shore. The mind superimposes the color blue over the image of the ocean where no blue actually exists. In truth, the ocean stretches out to the horizon, boasting colors of green and brown and silver. If anything, the hint of blue can only be seen becaus
  25. The rush of cars, like lazy waves, woke me from my sleep this morning to the cold whisper of air against my skin from the ceiling fan. Outside the window, a crow is calling from its perch on the telephone wires. A man, in his Hawaiian shirt is strolling down the sidewalk with his coffee in hand. The golden sunlight that is so native to California is crawling it’s way across the eastern face of the houses across the street. Everything is as still as a photograph. The palm trees stand so motionless, they look like they have been painted here, instead of grown. I have not been back to L
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