Online Workshop OCT 2019 - 1/2
Here is the full UPSET exercise -
At the most basic level, an upset is really about four things:
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An intention that is being prevented or opposed
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An undelivered communication
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A past wound that is unhealed and was re-activated by whatever happened
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An unfulfilled expectation
An upset can be about one or all of these things.
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What happened?
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In this situation, did I have a desire or intention that was being prevented or opposed? If so, how? What did that make me feel? Why specifically did that make me feel so upset? What did it make me feel like I might never be able to have or get?
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Did I communicate my feelings, thoughts, desires, needs and anything else I needed to communicate in a way that felt authentic and true to what is real about me in this situation? If I did that or even if I didn’t, did I feel like the other person or people involved in the situation actually felt me and saw me and heard me so as to really understand me? Did I feel as if what I needed to communicate and my personal truth was received? If not, what was my perception about how the communication was or wasn’t expressed and was or wasn’t received?
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What painful experience in my past could this be a reflection of? What experience might have been unresolved that this situation is bringing up into my consciousness again? In that past unresolved situation, what did I need in order to feel resolved? How can I meet those needs to create that feeling of resolution relative to this situation, which is a repeat of the last one, so it can be different this time? In many situations, we are not even aware of what situation or past wound is being reflected in our present life because when situations are non resolvable, we stuff them into our subconscious. For this reason, I have created a process for discovering and resolving these past wounds that are causing recurrent painful patterns and upsets in our adult life. It is called the Completion Process. You can learn this process in my book that is quite literally titled: The Completion Process.
In this situation, take a look at the expectations you had and how they were unfulfilled.
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What did I expect to happen?
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What did I expect them to think?
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What did I expect them to feel?
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What did I expect them to say?
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What did I expect them to do?
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What do I expect them to do now to resolve the upset?
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What did I expect myself to think?
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What did I expect myself to feel?
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What did I expect myself to say?
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What did I expect myself to do?
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What do I expect myself to do now to resolve the upset?