The Mirror Event - New York 2018 - Day 1 - Part 3/3


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I have a suggestion that maybe next time the volume of the mic of the participants on the stage can be as clear and loud as Teal's ? coz it is hard to hear what they say :(Insert other media

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Hey this is kind of a shot in the dark but , if that girl who went on stage last happens to be reading this message, ....could you message me? You just remind me a lot of myself.
She probably won't ever see this though haha.
To anyone else reading this I love u! ❤️

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Thank you so much for sharing this workshop! I find I can relate to every question, the some to a greater extent than to others.

In this particular section, I can so much relate to the lady working on her PhD. If she’s watching this, and reading I’d love to connect with you Aster (or Esther? Sorry not sure about the name, but thought I try).

I did get my PhD and worked for 4 years at a university, before I quit, as I realized that the degree didn’t grant me the acceptance and good enough ness I though it would. I was in quite some pain before  I got I never wanted it on a first place, but was made to believe that’s my path. Still need to do work on the aspects ( the protective, who thought I want /need the PhD and the one connected with my truth). Witnessing this discussion on stage was of great help. Thank you again and much love to all. ❤️

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To the beautiful blonde woman: I'd like to be your friend. I've always wanted a female friend too, but I've found it hard for similar reasons. Not because I'm beautiful, but I'm too confident and intellectual and competitive at times. But I can also be really vulnerable, and open up. I really enjoy feminine girls who are pretty to be around. I think it is fun to dress up sexy together and impress guys together. I've never been able to do that much because most beautiful women are . . . not self-aware, not conscious, not spiritual, and not kind. So they were not really capable of real friendship. When I do meet women who are fun, feminine and beautiful, but also conscious and spiritual, they are usually so full with their own life that they have no room for a new friend in their life. I'm in that middle bracket that Teal warned against, but I'm also super conscious. :)

@Witt I suggest watching Teal's video that actually talks about using people in the title.

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@Raederle thanks for the suggestion,  i have seen it. And do you feel ugly enough to be her friend? Cause according to teal's advice, the kind of friend she should find should be an ugly friend... i hate to think any woman find herself ugly, and i hate to hear a woman promote we view others as beautiful or ugly...... I see your picture and don't find you are qualified to be her friend since you aren't ugly by any means. The way teal is suggestion she find a friend (basing it firstly off of beauty) is some of the worst advice i have ever heard because of how superficial it is. It's full of vanity and self-centerdness. I don't think you're in the middle bracket. I think in some ways we all can be super gorgeous and in other ways we can all be super ugly and we can all be average as well. Teal needs to be promoting the message we are all goddesses.... she fucked up here, point blank. She needs to address this in my opinion, this statement, and go more in depth as to what she meant, and if there's nothing more to say, then own her vanity and her ego and own her superficial side / fragment that gave this advice and wanted to so badly connect with this woman and feel as pretty as her. I would love to hear her give feedback on this as she has time to reflect on it. And i really hope that the side / fragment of her that feels this way finds more healing and peace and safety amongst women, all women, especially drop dead gorgeous women. I have faith in her that she will figure this out. But wow I see how dangerous it can be for someone like her (a person that is popular amongst the crowd and has follwers) to give advice..... this terrible advice can do harm and create issues and insecurities and hurt amongst people. To seek a friend based non their looks is not wise, it is not enlightened, it sounded like teal's 10 year old deprived girl side that craves pretty friends came out and took over. 

And for you to say most beautiful women are not self-aware, and conscious...etc... i hope you redefine what a beautiful woman looks like to you. consciousness and kindness makes a woman beautiful. and with 7 billion people in the world, and half women... well there are so many people out there, women out there, beautiful women at that..... that you have not met.... so i'm sorry if you haven't had the best experience with beautiful women... but just as you haven't found beautiful women to be conscious and aware and kind, i have very much seen it, and it's not a rarity. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When we look for something we will find it. If we look for ugly we will find it. If we look for beauty we will find it. Focus is powerful. We have a lot on our shoulders... us women, us girls. We have so much history as women.... so much rich history. And beauty runs deeper than outside appearance. I think it's ugly and not intelligent or conscious or enlightened to tell someone that is in need of female companionship to find someone she perceives as less-than herself so she is safe. That right there made teal the opposite of beautiful. Humans are so much more than our looks and what we need to do is focus on how we treat people and the values we stand for. We need to love and accept all people. We need to see less with our eyes and listen more with our eyes. We need to hear with our heart. We live in a society that's obsessed about physical appearance and when we focus on that we become shallow and superficial and vain. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with loving to put on make up and wanting to look sexy and good.... but to filter people and their possible role in your life on their looks being less than ours?? that's just wrong.

Edited by Witt
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Yeah I was triggered by that conversation like you all. @Witt @Treyoung1990

I think I'm in the middle bracket, but I'm also aware that sometimes my body language changes when I want something from a guy, or just to be seen a certain way. But for me having an 'uglier' friend doesn't help either, there's always competition, or envy. And to be honest from them I always get a self pity vibe that I can't stand. 

When she mentioned the part of a average girl finally getting one guy, and i see someone like her, having that 'sexy' body language around him ofc it would trigger me, it makes sense, but yeah... poor Graciela. I wouldn't want to be anyones "designated ugly fat friend".

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thank you @Bjork to speak up on how you think/feel. I think teal was really,... "in the moment" in this particular conversation. and it so happens thousands of people were witness to it!! that being said, i wish the solution was not to find a friend in some uglier woman, but to find the friend in thyself, and then she would attract a certain person. she needs to get past physical beauty (the girl , the blonde, and even teal!) and get towards the middle pinpoint of the heart... that fragile, delacate, new born baby type of delicate feel of the heart that is so pure and so precious and so heavenly. This woman DOESN'T need others, she needs herself. the blonde. and teal, as well. she needs to find that part of herself that finds herself beautiful! teal's advice is helping her find ugly amongst not only women in the outside world, but the woman that she is on her inside world! and if she focuses on ugly, she will also see it in herself. we gotta get the HELL away from that.

hashtag$$$ ##TRUTH

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@Witt Now that I remember Teal has mentioned her mother was/is a feminist. So I"m assuming, and from the documentary, she doesn't wear make up. I think Teal has resistance to her mother, from their difficult relationship. that might be why she wants to be nothing like her and goes the opposite way with being hyper feminine and all that. So ofc she's not gonna recommend someone to be like her mother. I have to say, also I'd heard her say that finding an ugly friend thing before about graciela so I wasn't shocked, but it's still disappointing. 

Another thing I just thought about is: we're all in different vibrations and different stages. Maybe this woman wasn't at that stage yet. Maybe she has to go through that first before realizing it isn't what she needed? 

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@Bjork very disappointing, indeed. And yes teal does have a difficult time with her mom. She says her mom loved her little brother so very much, that must have been really tough growing up. As kids, even as adults too but especially as kids, we crave love and attention from parents. We want to be accepted for who we are and we want to please them. I don't know how that really is in relation to this though. And yes we are all in different stages. But i don't care what vibration a person is at, it's never good advice to tell someone to find a friend based off of how they look. To find someone you consider below yourself. That isn't gonna promote this woman get to a higher vibration. That's gonna promote this woman focus on superficial shit, and send her backwards. That's what I think at least.

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@Witt well, you know sometimes you have to go through things to learn. she has to go through that experience to even know that she should move past it. like, i can't believe she didn't realize the effect she had on other women, or that she flirted unconsciously. I could see it in her body language even before they talked about that. She's not as conscious as she thinks she is, but she's getting there. And maybe this is the next step. And the reason I mention Teal's mom issues, is because Teal is rejecting what her mother stands for. She goes for the hyper feminine, so she can be the opposite of her mother. 

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@Bjork Do you really think she doesn't notice the effect she has on other women? She didn't understand exactly why women were afraid to be her friend, (because they didn't know what she was after and felt they couldn't trust her,) but this woman def noticed the effect she had on women. I feel like she played dumb and innocent a little bit, just a little bit in a few parts of the conversation. Do you think the right "next step" for her craving friendship/female companionship is to seek an ugly friend?? She could miss out on some potentially damn good friends because she's being selective. And like I have said before, if she is focusing and selecting a woman based off of appearance and being ugly, isn't that a dishonor to the friendship from the get go? Who wants a friend that thinks we are ugly. If she wants friends, she needs to learn how to be a good one. And a good friend isn't gonna pray on people that are less pretty just so they feel safe. That's so selfish and narcissistic in a way. I keep asking myself what advice I would give. And it has something to do with inner work. Like dream of the friend you want to have, and be that person to yourself. See what people you'll attract into your life. Something like that. And to find a friend, let us be open to being friends with any woman. Let us look for a person that makes us feel good to be around. Someone we have fun with. Someone we can talk to. She's right, she can go up to a woman and say "i need some friends..... would you want to hang out ___ ?" ya know... but to go after ugly women so it's easier and less scary.... is a cop out and insulting to the other woman. It's just not something an enlightened person or highly conscious person would do, in my opinion at least. That's why i was so suprised to hear teal say this and that she does it. Where else have you heard her say something like this?

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@Witt I've seen A LOT of Teal's videos so I can't remember exactly where she talked about Graciela being her ugly friend. I vaguely remember it was an interview she did with a woman, I think. It must be on youtube. I'll see if I find it. 

I didn't say I honestly believed she doesn't notice the effect she has. I said I was surprised she didn't know. But maybe you're right and she was just playing dumb. Well.. didn't she also say she could go for other "really pretty" girls? Someone on the same level, but she for some reason said nothing about it, she must not want that. She must want to stay being the prettier one. She also said that she's been going for "the middle" meaning the not ugly but the not the prettiest, so she still wants someone not AS pretty. lol All this is very superficial and silly tbh. But that's the world we live in. 

Just like you think she played dumb, I think she doesn't really "crave" female friendship. Maybe what she wants is what Teal suggested, one friend who is inferior from the get go, but that she can talk to and not feel so lonely. 

What advice would I give her?... what they mentioned.. for her to figure out why she feels so unsafe and needs to be sexy to feel the 'safety' and/or control. And maybe then she'll heal that and won't need to put on the "sexy show". She can just be normal, without feeling like she's being frumpy and "muting her colors" as she put it. And then she'd have genuine connections with women, because she won't be that threat to us/them. 

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I do want to mention one thing: all of us who automatically associated Teal’s comment on “super ugly women” with Graciela just passed the implicit attitude test showing that we thought Gracie was super ugly. 

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I can't tell you how much that conversation she had with the beautiful blonde woman who didn't feel safe around people helped me. It helped me understand myself and the women around me. Obviously beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I am quite sure Teal understands that. But for the purpose of addressing a specific issue with this woman, Teal needed to approach it from a specific level. Of social situations, body language...the quick judgments we make about one another. On a broader level, everyone is both ugly and beautiful. But to deny that these dynamics are happening on the surface level is the opposite of healing a real problem that I experience and see in others often.  This conversation wasn't about Teal, or anyone you might yourself judge as "ugly" This was about this woman and her healing process. And it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. But it seriously helped me and it was beautiful to see this woman understand herself in a new way. We all have different aspects. One aspect of me judges people on their appearance. Another aspect of me sees everyone as precious and beautiful. Which aspect needs my presence and understanding more?

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20 hours ago, Treyoung1990 said:

I do want to mention one thing: all of us who automatically associated Teal’s comment on “super ugly women” with Graciela just passed the implicit attitude test showing that we thought Gracie was super ugly. 

we thought of her cause everyone knows it's her closest girl friend. so it's obvious. and IT IS about her, I'd seen a video of Teal talking about this very thing back in 2013. i posted the video on here, go look. 

Edited by Bjork

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@Bjork thanks for posting the video. It didn't start for me where you wanted it to lol it started from the beginning. I watched like half of this interview a long time ago and idk something came up or i got distracted. I didn't make it to that part. But was Gracie teals bff at that time ? I think they lived together... but I think she had a few close girl friends.. one of them being Cameron Clark... LOL there are websites "truth about cameron" "truth about teal " haha that go on saying teal is shit and then teals saying from other people how she isn't shit. I read a lot of interesting stuff on Cameron's website. They even reached out to the famous doc...... and he sent them hand written letters of teals. Some interesting things to look at. I like to see things from all perspectives and then I like to make up my mind on something and even then I still try to stay open minded.... So I looked into teal from all angles.... from super fans to ex husbands  (sarbdeep also had some really interesting things to say...) I mean these are people that lived with teal and got a first hand experience. Well anyways, I'll try to find that part in the video because I am curious to hear what she's talking about and if it's same context.

@Treyoung1990 yea the reason I think people assumed it was Gracie were cause of teals statements... did u hear them? I have made it clear on here I don't find her ugly. I think she's a bit over weight. But i don't think body weight defines beauty. From a physical perspective l, i would say Gracie isn't ugly or pretty but average. When you add in who she is, i would say she becomes a lot more attractive and even beautiful. When teal says "it worked for me" .... she is saying she's followed the advice given... "find an ugly friend." Her words, not mine. If i was her those words wouldn't be said cause they wouldn't be felt or experienced. 

@Nancy31xo I'm happy to hear this helped you. That is wonderful. Teal still gave rubbish advice in my opinion. And I hope you don't go seeking an "ugly friend. " I dont think anybody should engage in seeking out another human for friendship cause we think they look ugly and therefore friendship will come easy and will feel safe. Our perspective "friend" deserves better than that from us. Would you want a friend that thinks you're ugly? I don't think anyone would. I think you would have gotten just as much from this if that bit of advice was taken out. 

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One thing teal says in the later part of this interview is about attraction nd our conscious focus... and that we all would be feeling in love with everyone we meet if we were to be focusing on what we love and appreciate about another person... and nothing else! She says higher beings and civilizations have this happening. So if she knows that why would she tell this woman to practice the oppisite? To not focus on all of what you love and admire in people or women.... but she advised her to pay attention to ugly and find THAT. That's like intentionally lowering the woman's vibration if she is gonna pay attention to ugly. And if she follows the advice and seeks a friend who is ugly,  then her point of attraction and focus will be towards vanity and physical beauty and ugliness and the lack there of which will in turn make her see herself as ugly. Which I'm thinking she already does. She may think she is beautiful but deep down she has a thousand insecurities and also believes she isn't pretty ENOUGH... she's a model for Christ sake. If we attract things into our reality... shouldn't her focus be on positive things and beauty and love instead of focusing on ugly.... I mean the prettiest woman alive can still have something ugly... It's all on what we focus on.... why would any spiritual teacher tell someone to seek out an ugly person? That's reinforcing the practice of judging physical appearane which just seems elementary and not so very enlightened or spiritual. Could teal be threatened by any and all beautiful women? Could she be manipulating this woman in a subconscious way and trying to make her more ugly by directing her point of focus to that? Hm I don't know. I really don't know. My saying is "anything is possible...but is it plausible?"  

Edited by Witt

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@Witt 1:39:20 is the time. and she says "Graciela" by name. 

or 1:42:00 if u want to skip to the "main" graciela part

Edited by Bjork

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she goes "she feels terrible about her body, you know she's overweight." hahaha. the bit that comes after, about gracie loving to be able to hide around people cause no one notices her essentially cause they all focus on teal, i really don't believe she loves that,... i also wouldn't say she's jealous... but i don't think anyone truly desires to be hidden and not seen. all women wanna feel beautiful. we all wanna be seen. i wish teal represented her friendship with gracie in a more honorable and graceful way. not saying things like find an ugly friend, it worked for me. but really helping gracie see and feel beautiful. who cares if she is over weight. beauty goes beyond physical appearance. maybe teal is still grappling with this concept and lesson, since i'm sure a lot of the attention she's gotten is because of physical appearance. i asked someone who follows her heavily if she was a man if he would still feel the same about her. the answer: nope! lol. i wonder how many people really value her and love her for her personality and value her for her ideas and WHO SHE IS vs. what she looks like. I think there's a lot of people who are just attracted to her looks. I myself have even dealt with attention from men and the father of my kids say they all just want to have sex with me. i say what.... is it so impossible to think they like me for who i am ? my personality??? but 90% of the men in my life really are just interested in the sexual aspect, that's what is highly motivating their friendship. I think people in the spiritual field, especially popular people like teal, need to hit home time and time again the message that beauty doesn't equal health. one video she tlks about her beauty regimen and all i could think was she's talking more about being healthy, but it seemed for her that was synonymous and equally identified with beauty. i find gracie's smile really beautiful because it's warm. i find gracie's presence to be loving and comfortable and accepting.... which makes her truly beautiful. where as teal sometimes seems a bit rough and gruff around the edges and so like i said, the way we carry ourself adds so much to the way we look. when teal is being soft and open and vulnerable and warm essentially she becomes more beautiful, where as sometimes she is really cold and it takes away from her appearance. in my opinion at least. im straight and don't have a dick therefor am not thinking with my dick .... like guys so often do... lol so this perspective comes from a straight woman. lol.

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On 6/7/2018 at 10:50 PM, Witt said:

oh my god.....my heart just broke!!! Teal and this Blonde woman are talking and the topic comes up of being safe around women, and Teals says something like, wanna know what i did? I found a woman that couldn't compete with me. It keeps women feeling safe. It worked for me. Then the lady is like how do i do that and she goes find super ugly women. the lady goes that's super wise. (puke) and teal is like, thats the only strategy that's ever worked for me. I'm being raw and authentic so it's okay that i just really stomped the piss out of my best friend's self esteem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING HELL!! Teal, wow. You Absolutely have a side of you that is a huge narcassit, and i still love you but damn, now is the time to work on that!!
Now all I think of is graciela. She's teals best friend. She is the woman teal is talking about, or one of them. Physically... She has some weight on her, and she isn't as pretty as teal in terms of PHYSICAL BEAUTY. However, if you talk about soul beauty, in so many ways gracie blows teal out of the water! Teal can overcome that, and she will later on in life as she continues to integrate, her soul will be just as beautiful as gracie's. But if I was gracie and I was there, or whenever gracie hears this if she wasn't there, she will most likely think teal is speaking of her.....and I wonder how that would make her feel. PROBABLY HURT!! Der! What teal is saying isn't tactful or kind. It's so important in my opinion to be honest. But I've run into this problem with being honest :" honesty without compassion is cruelty"(as the father of my kids used to say to me)!! Abrasive honesty is uncalled for and never needed. We can get to the heart and truth of something without being a fuckin JERK. So now I'm learning how to be honest, yet be tactful while doing so.
The strategy isn't to find super ugly women. In my opinion, teal should be telling this woman to start diving DEEP about physical beauty. Not to look outside for another but to work inside and then she will be a match to the right female through the law of attraction. My good god. There are women that could be a great match for this girl , women that are gorgeous, and conscious, and the key isn't for the woman to only go after ugly women...wtf?? thats so wrong in my opinion!! The key is to do inner work and work on the parts of her that she feels are ugly, and find the aspects of her self that are that ugly friend, and most importantly, figure out why she feels unsafe around women to begin with. I don't think it's right to go for a quick fix and only seek ugly people. We shouldn't be seeking anyone to begin with based off of looks. Teal will find a friend one day that she feels is either equal to her, or above her. And she will need to deal with those feelings of competition. They aren't wrong. Many times its a natural thing. And so we don't just avoid that because it's hard and feels unsafe, we journey inward, and take what comes.
The feeling of envy and jealousy are not feelings a truly enlightened being feels, and this is one of Teals weak points. She's the first to admit it. If we see someone beautiful or successful or having something we don't, if we are ok with our-self, we will be happy for that person. Them having things in this life that make that person happy should make us happy, not envious. When someone wins or someone succeeds, even if it's unfair how they got there, there should be something inside of us that is selfless enough to look at their experience and be grateful and joyous that that person is experiencing a good moment. If there is something or some part of us that is wanting that, we need to address that and look at that part and figure out what we can do to give our self what it's wanting. If there's a part of us that feels so rotten ugly, we need to figure out 1, why...2....accepting we feel this way...and 3....figuring out a way to give the part of us that feels starving a sense of fulfillment. Well I'm ranting and raving .... but I felt the need to comment and say I'm sorry gracie! Even if you are like "i don't care" still you're not ugly by any means. It's true, some people are more aesthetically beautiful than others. But the minute a person opens their mouth, an ugly person can become the light of the room and so beautiful and attractive...PHYSICALLY....while a beautiful person can drop 10 points in a second based off of their energy and personality.
I am sad to hear Teal give this advice..."find an ugly woman" .....to find an ugly woman, we would need to have eyes that see that ugliness, and we see what we feel....when we feel beautiful, we will see beauty. What we focus on is important. The advice from a spiritual teacher to seek an ugly friend for your own benefit and safety is just so elementary in terms of spiritual anything. Is there something lower than elementary? Jeez. Poor looks isn't something to focus on. And we shouldn't seek people that are inferior to us so we can benefit off of their short comings. How narcissistic and egotistical and selfish.
What if that person has low self esteem, how would a beautiful woman being her friend help HER? Especially if the intention to even become friends is so the beautiful woman gets over her issues of feeling unsafe. It's like using this person as a pawn. It's USING someone. That person needs a friend that finds her/him BEAUTIFUL the way they are. Not physically ugly and inferior. I just think this is a quick fix and really fucking terrible advice. Well with that said, I still adore teal, she's only human and she has come very far from where she started so I am not mad at her, I don't blame her, but I think she needs to do some soul searching and do some "shadow work" or hey lets try some light work for a change lol, and do some integration and meditation on this. It just makes it seem like gracie is less than. There are ways teal is less than gracie, even physically. Gracie's smile is warmer than teals, for example. I know teal feels so lucky to have gracie, and they have a beautiful relationship. But all i'm saying is OWWWW. what a major sting and burn and selfish ass thing to say.

**I paused the video, and the advice just keeps getting more fucked up and more fucked up. "Stay away from the middle girl, who's kinda pretty but not super gorgeous, either go this way, ugly or go this way, super pretty." cause it worked for teal. What the fuck. lol omg. this is so wrong. I can see so many higher ups just shaking their head. Teal what the fuck! Girl, you should not be telling this woman to judge judge judge, all you're doing is REINFORCING COMPETITION AMONGST WOMEN. although you say its an issue. So much for trying to help change things? Ha. Good god.

Let's not forget Teal is navigating through life as a human being with human issues and is giving real advice to that particular blonde lady.  It may be the only thing that works for that lady specifically.   What helps us heal might not always be "pretty" according to society.  No pun intended.

 

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This conversation where she suggests to go look for ugly girls really put me off. I am writing this in HOPE I can help somone with it. I have been following Teal for 5 years. She gave meaning to my life. I felt special and I thought there is someone who cares, who is relatable and who has insights I was looking for so badly. I opened myslef up to her material went on a work shop even. Giving my power away and not questioning enough that is on me. And that is a hard realization to come to. I came across some controversy about her before and pushed it aside, although this was very concerning and came from different sources, some very respectful in tone and with no slandering intended. Hearing this conversation was a slap in the face for me and I looked into the controversy again.

She says she has all this knowledge driectly from source so why do an ask teal episode where she just reads the information word for word from a book?

She says she can hear peoples thoughts so why is she surprised when an interviewer has intended to expose her instead of adding to her fame?

https://gizmodo.com/internet-spiritual-guru-teal-swan-says-she-isnt-a-cult-1827317795

In one of these interviews she explains that she and her team set a programm in place that recognizes when someone types stuff like "suicide, pain, emptyness, loneliness" into the search bar, so that in turn her videos pop up. Her followers are mostly people who are lost and desprate and very very vulnerable. No one should take advantage of that.

What is most damaging to me is that I have a hard time to decipher between teachings that she made up to make people depended upon her although she always claims otherwise and teachings that are actually valuble.

I know I am going to be challanged by what I wrote, but my intention is not to be right or to talk down on her followers my only hope is that somone might read this and begins to think for themselves and maybe comes back into his or her own wisdom. I am still in shock and very dissapointed. If someone out there goes through the same or has any questions I am here for you.

 

 

 

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@Lisa88 thanks for posting what you did. I too have feared backlash from people brainwashed by teal. Sadly there are many that are "brainwashed " .... people that are hypnotized by her beauty and persona rather than her content. I suppose that's a part of fame that all people with a following have to deal with. I too hope people find their way back to their own wisdom. 5 years is a long time. There are things about teal that also make me go "huh wtf" lol, but with that said, I'm happy she has helped people and is continuing to. I hope she can wisely navigate the ways fame is affecting and changing her. This power is a heavy one, that can wear a person down and feircly control them and change them entirely. The ego becomes inflated. Anyways,  I'm glad you're someone who does look at two sides of something. Someone who does the research. I have also listened to the gizmodo podcast. Good for u for speaking out and saying something. Feel good about it. 

Edited by Witt
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