The Mirror Event - Basel 2018 - Day 1 - 1/3


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I had an epiphany after watching the Chicago video and this one. Even though, I'm fairly intense, and strong, and in charge in certain aspects of my life, I still tend to be constantly victimized in my personal life.    I was thinking that I'm always attracted to bad boys, verging on sociopathic bad boys, but the kind that are intense, aggressive, charming.   This is TMI but men/boys like Billy Hargrove on Stranger Things (and embarrassingly I'm middle age and my name is Karen, lol).  After watching this video, I suddenly got it... those bad boys are me.  In service of being the good girl, I supressed the part of me that wanted control and dominance and was openly angry and aggressive, because I was punished so severely for showing any of that. And it suddenly occurred to me that people that have been tormenting me, were not as openly aggressive as a Billy Hargrove character, but it was a passive aggressive,  insidious form of control.  And it was a control that was needless and destructive of me, for no reason at all, when I posed no threat and had been good to them. After watching this, I felt more conscious about my own need for control, to never be put in those situations again.  So I totally get my attraction to the flamboyant bad boys and they are me in more than one way.  If you look at a character like Billy Hargrove, in the end, he was martyred, just like the victimized self sacrificing, abused women end up dying of cancer or some other illness, is also martyred.    So his anger and damage killed him quickly, just as it slowly kills the self sacrificing woman, with suppressed rage.  I imagine, at least a decent portion of those bad boys in prison are people whose anger at being controlled, also ultimately destroyed their lives.  

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AFTER WATCHING THIS AGAIN FOR THE 5TH TIME,I HAD A GREAT BREAK THROUGH. I DID PART WORK WITH MYSELF.I HAVE NOBODY IN MY LIFE AT THE MOMENT THAT COULD ASSIST ME.IT WAS MINDBLOWINGLY INTENSE AND BEAUTIFUL . MY DEEPEST TRAUMA ,WOUNDS AND ALL THAT HAS MADE ME MISERABLE AND ILL IS NOW TOGETHERNESS. I FEEL SUCH PEACE AND WHOLENESS, LIKE NEVER BEFORE.THANK YOU DEAR TEAL. YOU ARE THE BEST.BLESS YOU AND I LOVE YOU ALL XX

 

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A question. I have been listening to Joe Dispenza a little. He advices not to go to the "bad " feelings..the opposite of your texhings. People heal when doing their work with him Is there a difference or is it the same in a diiferent way . Wondering ? 

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4 hours ago, Susan said:

A question. I have been listening to Joe Dispenza a little. He advices not to go to the "bad " feelings..the opposite of your texhings. People heal when doing their work with him Is there a difference or is it the same in a diiferent way . Wondering ? 

Good question.  Context, timing and deeply felt sense of self  seems important to.  I don’t think Joe and Teals work are opposite as they are piece and perspective looking at the same stuff.  There are times they say the same thing differently.  Or say something different that might be perceived the same from one person to the next.   About to start watching myself to get a sense. 

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10 hours ago, Susan said:

A question. I have been listening to Joe Dispenza a little. He advices not to go to the "bad " feelings..the opposite of your texhings. People heal when doing their work with him Is there a difference or is it the same in a diiferent way . l

5 hours ago, alicejoanirene said:

Good question.  Context, timing and deeply felt sense of self  seems important to.  I don’t think Joe and Teals work are opposite as they are piece and perspective looking at the same stuff.  There are times they say the same thing differently.  Or say something different that might be perceived the same from one person to the next.   About to start watching myself to get a sense. 

Okay it seems like we Teal is clarifying that sometimes we think we are “focusing on positive aspects”, but really we are letting our inner baby high chair asshole push around.  It’s like the teacher say “everyone is great and fine and happy” and doesn’t see the bully fucking up the vibe of the class.  I imagine Joe would encourage authentic positivity, I’m didn’t look deep into  his modality yet, but I will cause YOLO.

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On 9/10/2019 at 7:18 AM, Susan said:

A question. I have been listening to Joe Dispenza a little. He advices not to go to the "bad " feelings..the opposite of your texhings. People heal when doing their work with him Is there a difference or is it the same in a diiferent way . Wondering ? 

Hi Susan, have you seen Teal's videos on youtube called Spirituality 101, Spirituality 2.0, and Spirituality 3.0? 
Joe Dispenza, at least the aspect of his teachings that you are referring to, is primarily a Spirituality 101 teacher. 

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I have a part like the white dressed man in the video as well. Same drive/behaviour but a totally different root. It urged me to do shadow work because that would get me the love and affection that I needed, the secure, relaxed, calm relationship. I thought I needed to heal my stress by doing as much CP as I can. But it's actually because of this part that I always feel anxious! This part is the causation of the stress! It makes me always feel like I should work on my triggers a little more, do inner child work, CP, parts work, etc... Through the distortion of the spiritual truth that you attract the people that you are, this part reasons: "every negative behaviour in other people towards me, every unwanted or damaging aspect of them is inside me, and in order to gain love and affection back, I have to integrate the reflection of those damaging aspects inside of me." Thus always making other people's behaviour 'my fault'. Seems spiritual but is codependence

So I just integrated it, by letting it get to know the part of me that has knowledge about people, what they can and can't give me. That way, not everything depends on 'doing shadow work so I won't attract negativity in someone'. It depends on choosing the right people at the right time, always. The part of me that has crystal clear insight in other people is happy to get to know the anxious part that has crystal clear insight in myself, and vice versa. Thus creating the perfect relationship that I craved: inside of myself! 

This was actually healing. I didn't need to have a need fulfilled by another person, I could do this by myself! that's actually the empowerment this time. Although in the past I often needed other people to fulfill the needs I lacked in childhood like Teal so often describes with 'interdependence' instead of independence. This was something else! I think... 😉

Sharing it here in case it helps someone. 

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