Chicago Workshop 2018 - 1/2

3:00 Are you the "Defective Doll"? Being the problem in the family, being never good enough.

26:30 How do I stop putting productivity in charge of my self worth?

1:22:30 What to do after retirement? + Learning Connection

1:50:30 Feeling bad all the time, being suicidal + Teal on Christ Consciousness


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The opening talk oh my fucking god, i don't think I blinked or were breathing :))) mindblowing. So much attention. And seriousness/passion. And attention. Universal 

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1 hour ago, jm105 said:

49:40 Teal's "coping mechanism-oriented spiritual teacher" voice is hot

I love your avatar!
"Defragment" LOL

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The opening was so incredibly painful. I so relate to the doll complex. I've got some major healing to do.

 

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58 minutes ago, Marthay said:

The opening was so incredibly painful. I so relate to the doll complex. I've got some major healing to do.

 

You don't need to do any healing. By saying you've got some major healing to do, what you're actually saying is that  you reject yourself for being this way.
"Healing" in this context, is the method you use to reject, suppress, deny and disown the way you feel.
True integration here isn't to try to "fix" the doll complex, but rather, come to terms with the fact that this is what it is, and there's nothing wrong about it.
I think you'll actually find a greater sense of wholeness if you sit with this and allow yourself to be fragmented, instead of thinking that you'll only accept yourself once you find integration.

The true healed state is to be at peace with who you already are, instead of trying to "fix" yourself.

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21 hours ago, Andraeleis13 said:

I love your avatar!
"Defragment" LOL

Ugh it was always so boring and took forever, and I wasn't allowed to play games or anything while the computer was defragging..... insightful :thinking-yahoo-emoticon:

12 hours ago, Andraeleis13 said:

You don't need to do any healing. By saying you've got some major healing to do, what you're actually saying is that  you reject yourself for being this way.
"Healing" in this context, is the method you use to reject, suppress, deny and disown the way you feel.
True integration here isn't to try to "fix" the doll complex, but rather, come to terms with the fact that this is what it is, and there's nothing wrong about it.
I think you'll actually find a greater sense of wholeness if you sit with this and allow yourself to be fragmented, instead of thinking that you'll only accept yourself once you find integration.

The true healed state is to be at peace with who you already are, instead of trying to "fix" yourself.

I felt a good hit of relief reading this.

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I was the last one to get up on stage, the more fun, entertaining & interesting part of the workshop? I just wanted to say I was so overwhelmed & nervous up there. I really wanted to tell Teal how grateful I truly am for coming across her. She has inspired me. She has helped shifted my perspective. We are both severe abuse survivors. It is hard for me to relate with anyone. It is almost impossible for someone to understand me. But I feel as if she does in a way. I will be seeing you again Teal. There was something about our energy together that was magical. I love you and Thankyou. I was so angry and focused on the "evil" parts of the world. And WHY!! Why the suffering! I was channeling my anger towards her. Believing in a way she would have to give me an answer I was satisfied with. Sometimes it feels I can't trust anything and everything is fucked. And it will only get worse. I am learning to let go. To be the waves...the water. Float...Fly...Breathe...Dance. To be the fire burning away the unwanted. My feet in the grass, the sand, the trees forever dancing, the wind forever singing. The sun is smiling. To close my eyes and feel the love. I am love. Be free. I am free. But what I also forgot to say was I want to see the good in people and the world, to bring out the good, the joy, the love. That is what I really want. That is what feels so good inside of me. A hopefully "perfect" harmonious world of laughter & happiness. I believe in the impossible. Impossible really is- I'm Possible?~ ~ ~ ~ ~p.s. ~ I have wanted to join the military since I was 14, my brother is a sniper. So I meant the "killing" part in more of a military sense, a protector, a fight for justice. I want to save everyone, but I have to start with me. We are all warriors to live on planet Earth. Be water my friends ~Bruce Lee

Edited by Loralei Equilibrium
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5 hours ago, Loralei Equilibrium said:

I was the last one to get up on stage, the more fun, entertaining & interesting part of the workshop? I just wanted to say I was so overwhelmed & nervous up there. I really wanted to tell Teal how grateful I truly am for coming across her. She has inspired me. She has helped shifted my perspective. We are both severe abuse survivors. It is hard for me to relate with anyone. It is almost impossible for someone to understand me. But I feel as if she does in a way. I will be seeing you again Teal. There was something about our energy together that was magical. I love you and Thankyou. I was so angry and focused on the "evil" parts of the world. And WHY!! Why the suffering! I was channeling my anger towards her. Believing in a way she would have to give me an answer I was satisfied with. Sometimes it feels I can't trust anything and everything is fucked. And it will only get worse. I am learning to let go. To be the waves...the water. Float...Fly...Breathe...Dance. To be the fire burning away the unwanted. My feet in the grass, the sand, the trees forever dancing, the wind forever singing. The sun is smiling. To close my eyes and feel the love. I am love. Be free. I am free. But what I also forgot to say was I want to see the good in people and the world, to bring out the good, the joy, the love. That is what I really want. That is what feels so good inside of me. A hopefully "perfect" harmonious world of laughter & happiness. I believe in the impossible. Impossible really is- I'm Possible?

Thank you for that <3
I really enjoyed seeing you on stage, knowing that you're brave enough to shout out your question.

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That was amazing!!!!!!   I can identify with all off them!  Also I have gone through that great pain Teal spoke about letting go of my family and everything I knew. I faced death in every aspect. Great news I survived. It took sitting in the pain and feeling it all, which my skin felt was on fire, my soul felt it was on fire too. Likely I had a great therapist who told me I wasn’t crazy for doing what I was doing and feeling the way I was feeling.

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Oh also love love the insight about Christ being a buddiest  and his teaching was simple love. That helped with the struggle I had with religion, him, and how to be when engaging with my friends in religions.   And ...... “connection” being the only focus was great because I was lost in what direction to take until I asked my self what and where would cause me to connect in the way I always wanted. I got the answer to the first step to take to do that. Sooooo thankful for this video!!

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Does anyone else really resonate with the last guy who was suicidal and had to accept the futility of his familial relationships? I feel that way a lot and was wondering if anyone else did. 

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On 5/16/2018 at 7:23 PM, Valeria said:

Does anyone else really resonate with the last guy who was suicidal and had to accept the futility of his familial relationships? I feel that way a lot and was wondering if anyone else did. 

Yup, I feel that

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On 4/18/2018 at 7:47 PM, Andraeleis13 said:

You don't need to do any healing. By saying you've got some major healing to do, what you're actually saying is that  you reject yourself for being this way.
"Healing" in this context, is the method you use to reject, suppress, deny and disown the way you feel.
True integration here isn't to try to "fix" the doll complex, but rather, come to terms with the fact that this is what it is, and there's nothing wrong about it.
I think you'll actually find a greater sense of wholeness if you sit with this and allow yourself to be fragmented, instead of thinking that you'll only accept yourself once you find integration.

The true healed state is to be at peace with who you already are, instead of trying to "fix" yourself.

Thank you for this comment! 

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The laughing at the aspect of not wanting to be productive from the audience is making me angry.  If I were to be vulnerable this is what would happen to me.  This is my mother and my oldest sisters response to any thing they deemed as weakness 

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I found my inner child and it was weird to feel my emotions come so naturally I didnt realize how dumb I was with all my relationships. I didnt care what people thought about me. So I was at the point of conciousness before my tramau happened. I'm basicly a 6 year old that needs a lot of attention. And I have no boundaries. And when I felt I needed something I had little or no restiance to get it. It lasted for half the day and now I forgot how to get back there. 

I had a moment of awareness to I felt how I made my boyfriend feel when I was taking a long time to get ready and it was weird knowing what he might think about me. 

Edited by Sagittarius93

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My inner child was inverted and enmeshed with my ego so I had the false belief that my ego was freedom. I'm just confused if I need be my inner child and *grow up* basicly. Or is that crazy? Oh yeah I get super panicky and crazy if I think I might up set people. 

All the stuff about beliefs was all conditioning I'm so emotionally stunted 

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