Thank you so much for clarifying that... not a pleasant answer, but definitely makes lots of sense! I hope more and more CP is what takes me closer to self-awareness! 

Yo, I don't want to have some of these other worldly abilities, sometimes it scares the living daylights out of me. And I go to school in NYC, being around people and their stuff is so overwhelming and all their stuff. OMFGGG, I've been craving just being alone. Even being at home and everyone being home is driving me nuts. As soon as I can get my school work done with enough time I try my best just to sit in nature. I turn my car off and sleep (since it's getting colder) in nature (and i'm scared of being attacked by creeps, but that is old trauma coming up/self-trust worries, but that i'm diving into. Great thing I have people whom I can reach to to help me get grounded. I look to being in my body, but sometimes it's really hard to connect to other higher things when I'm so in my body. It's a weird thing, there is definitely no control. It's reflecting my own young adult life