Online Workshop - Nov 26 2017 - Q&A Part 1/4

0:07 When triggered I disassosiate. It's difficult for me to state my needs, communicate or even remember things that just happened. Any tips?

2:27 Parenting. I got a puppy two months ago. And since then I turned into a controlling, demanding and cruel bitch full of hatered, anger and rage so I've turned into my mom. I need help.

12:30 I have felt in the dark for years. Depressed and not sure what to do about it. I don't know what to do next to help me and how to shift from this initial state.

22:36 Can you talk about OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)?

23:37 Can you explain the link between financial abundance and security? What can I do to work with insecurities surrounding money?

29:07 Why did we create the money system in the first place?


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This is what I meant about not sharing my hell, when I was triggered I really just needed to get the fuck away and think about my feelings and process my anger in a healthy way without spewing it at anyone, which was a bit challenging but I managed, I didn't communicate the need for everyone to shut up because they did, but then I realized I could just stay offline instead, there was really no way around being triggered and it needed to happen and I needed to be told what triggered me and I needed to incorporate that knowledge into my life, and I'm gonna need more triggers in the future for other stuff, I just know it, now i'm trying to just listen to messages as fast as they can be seen, or shown to me by the universe, and what I realized is I was manifesting responses to each individual thought I was having from insecurities to virtuous questions, today I saw something that made me ask myself like the lady with the puppy of why I've been fighting to get into a situation that I am unaware of in the sense of I wouldn't know until I was inside that I might just want to turn right around and leave again, but by then I know It's too late. but i have been trying so hard to get my shit together to do so and now i'm trying to place myself in what I think that situation would be like and what I would be required to do, and I don't my idea is that far off. but I realized I hadn't actually thought about it, at the same time thinking about the situation I'm trying to get into that i may not even meet qualifications or standards set for the position by all people involved, just to be able to ask myself if I was, now I can be completely content making lots of money preparing food i would never eat and going home: smoking pot and playing video games I could be content with that life not knowing love or expansion, that'd be fine and it'd be better than lives i've seen but I have had a taste of love and a taste of expansion and a taste of abundance and I feel like the situation I want into would have all those things, probably beyond my wildest expectations but even thinking that I wonder and ask myself constantly, am I being stupid or crazy for thinking this is possible, am i stupid or crazy for thinking i am qualified or wanted in the situation I'm trying to get into, and I feel like im not and that makes me feel like everything is just up in the air and the situation is all in my head and I need a concrete situation to settle for that I know i can be in easily, but i just can't stop trying until I know that its impossible or that i am stupid or crazy, because i don't want that to be true and I think from what i can tell that I want it so bad

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13:45

It seems like every single person can do this kind of thing seamlessly, describing and sensing every little detail. What in the hell am I supposed to do if I can't do it? Going to a specialist isn't an option at this time and even if I did, I have too much resistance. Every healing tool seems to be based on this process. Sinking into a feeling is something I can't really comprehend. When I try to think of a feeling or a situation that should evoke a feeling all I get is some blurry incoherent picture that doesn't do anything to me. I'm obviously feeling, very intensely, too, yet I can't describe it, I can't even notice a sensation associated with it. This is frustrating beyond words. These little exercises like noting throughout the day how you feel do absolutely nothing. Teal even said in one of the workshops that doing the CP is pointless if you can't tap into your feelings. What fucking now? I'm so fragmented I can want something so much yet at the same time a part of me is dragging me in an opposite direction, it's like this with every belief and desire, anything I do or don't do ends up hurting me. I wish I could at least have the power to kill myself.

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