Austin Workshop 2015 - 3/5

  • 00:00:00 Nightmares

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I had so many nightmare/delusions some of them were spiritual truths but I experienced them as the worst thing possible it. I felt people too much it felt like they were in my body. My emotions and thoughts were out of whack for months. I had nightmares and I would wake up screaming in complete terror. Idk the actually reason for this. I have the same issue of that girl with her eye I always felt like one side of my face was ugly cause my eye and jaw isn't right. My neck has gotten really bad to. 

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I think I got lost in the nightmares though I made it worse by focusing on the weird thoughts I was just so lost and confused 

I remember giving up on life really young 6 or 7 years old 

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I felt like I had no room and I felt crazy cause my family and everyone else in my life projected what they wanted sometimes they saw me as so ugly and contridictary from who I am.  I feel like I kind of have myself now I just have to protect myself from people who try and warp me.

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WOW!! This is me in this video. This is sooo crazy because I JUST REWATCHED THIS YESTERDAY after years!! And got a whole new perspective. And today it's the featured video!!!! Crazy crazyyyyyy

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Haha so funny I did experience that jealousy at a birthday party when I was younger. I didn’t feel like I was getting many presents and on the friends birthday party I went to she got soooo many presents and I had to give her a present I really liked for myself. I told my mom I didn’t want to give it and of course she didn’t agree. I don’t remember if she shamed me but I remember feeling so empty and resistant. I remember thinking to myself, she is getting sooo much from everyone, I don’t have that much and I don’t get that much for my birthdays And I really like this present, it shouldn’t hurt her if I just keep it. Haha ? my mom didn’t like it and pushed me to give it. So I did and was upset... not sure what to make of it but that’s interesting I still remember it so vividly. I was sitting in front of her door on the stairs, I think we were taking our shoes off to get inside the house... I have compassion for myself though. I had every right to feel this way and I shouldn’t have been pushed to give. 

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On 12/4/2018 at 5:31 PM, Intro2bliss said:

WOW!! This is me in this video. This is sooo crazy because I JUST REWATCHED THIS YESTERDAY after years!! And got a whole new perspective. And today it's the featured video!!!! Crazy crazyyyyyy

So cool!

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I don't normally have nightmares anymore but what i find every year at a certain time, I have horrible nightmares. One year I dreamt that I was in a mall and the mall was getting taken over by these men in black masks an guns. I was hiding in a store and there was a man there with me, in the dream the men in the masks were actually after me and they knew that i was there. So the man who owned the store let me escape through the backdoor. When i came around, the men in the masks found me. they started to shoot me. So i just stayed on the ground. I guess they really wanted to make sure that i wasn't going to make it because i remember laying on the ground and getting shot like a million times. It was so intense that in my mind i could actually feel bullets hitting my legs which is what woke me up. The next year, i had these type of dreams once again. same week same time. Year after that same thing but this year it wasn't men in masks, it was something a deamon that i couldn't see. He was playing puppet with me and making me spin around, walking in a circle just laughing away i could even hear his laugh once again in my ear which woke me up. That time i would hear noises also like my door nob shaking like someone was trying to get in and i'd wake up. The most bizarre thing about that is that the actual door nob to my room started to get loose, even though i dreamt it. Just very bizarre things happening at the same time and i don't understand why. lovely video teal. thank you. love you. ❤️ 

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