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Is being gay or lesbian a choice? The answer is yes. But its often a choice you make prior to coming to this planet, just as it was your choice to have green eyes or brown hair.
Gender is an expression of Source energy just like any other choice that is part of physical manifestation (such as brown hair or green eyes). It is a perspective. If one "opts" into one gender or another that comes with its own additives to perspective. Especially when society has its own ideas of what gender means.
Gender does not matter beyond the physical. It is merely contrast to aid with perspective. The source self is without gender, rather the source self chose to temporarily explore the perspective of the polarity of one gender or another. Many of the most advanced beings in this universe are without gender because they have transcended their own polarity meaning that balance is found within and not externally through the combining of polar energies like male/female or yin/yang.
In today's society, being gay can come with immense challenge but also with immense advantages. The first main advantage is that someone who (in this current time frame of society) is gay, has a better opportunity than most who live heterosexual lives do to examine their belief patterns about gender and who determines what is right or wrong. This is an opportunity to get "out of the box", which is a big big part of opening up to spiritual expansion.
And this leads to the second main advantage which is the opportunity of discovering the truth that while our biochemical drives may be oriented sexually towards one gender or another (most of which is determined by physical hormones), ultimately what we are falling in love with is what transcends gender. What many of you call the soul.
Sex can be either an expression of torture (like it is when it is forced on someone who does not desire it) or it can be an expression of mutual masturbation (like it is when two people engage in sex who do not love one another) Or, it can be a magical expression of love. But love is not restricted (nor should it be) to specific gender ideals. Indeed love is not restricted anywhere other than in our own human minds.
I can tell you that as far as spiritual growth is concerned being gay in today's society is more of an opportunity than it is a detriment. The reason I say that is this: Anyone who faces pain, (whether it is pain at the hand of war or at the hand of loss or the pain of living in a society which says that your definition of happiness is wrong if it involves loving another man) has unparalleled opportunity to grow spiritually.
Pain, no matter how it presents itself is the mud which grows the flower of joy and freedom and alignment with our true selves if we will only allow it. It sends you looking for your true self. It sends you looking for your own individual truths and that is the key to spiritual growth.
Love is never wrong, nor is the expression of love, no matter who or what that love is expressed toward. If anyone tells you otherwise, it comes from a place of their own disconnection with their Source energy, which is an incredibly painful place to be.
Kuan Yin's Mantra (c) 2002 Lisa Thiel - used by permission http://www.sacreddream.com