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  1. 17 points
    I have been a self-improvement addict for most of my life and I believe that there is a spiritual answer for any one of life’s problems. This has served me well in my marriage with Teal. She is extremely aware of everyone’s shadows. I had always dreamed of sharing my life with an introspective woman who could help me grow. My wish was fulfilled to a level that I would have never imagined when my life merged with Teal. However this work on oneself is also very high pressure. Teal has no tolerance with people in her inner circle not facing their shadows and she has even less tolerance for people in her inner circle being unwilling to do anything about it when she calls their attention to those shadows. Sharing your life with Teal is like being naked every minute of the day. Every unresolved fragment is exposed relentlessly and makes your ego cringe. I see the ego as an accumulation of filters about our self-concept, which are there to make our life easier by minimizing our triggers. This is what enables us to live in the matrix feeling everything is fine. We would actually be terrified if we became fully aware of our present condition. This is why Ayahuasca journeys are so intense and difficult for the truth seekers as this medicine removes the veil of illusion. Someone like Teal never had the luxury of having such filters. This is why she is more aware, more alive but also feels more pain and fears than any one of us. Her energy field makes it so that the personal light and shadow of anyone getting in contact with her is mirrored almost instantaneously. There are times in my marriage where I feel completely blissful and I know that no woman could ever love me and connect with me the way she does. There are other times that I can hardly breath as my deepest struggles, traumas and shadows are exposed relentlessly. There are times where this emotional work gets so intense that I feel I have only enough energy to make it through the next day or even the next breath. Even in these times, I remember all the amazing moments of connection and love, and this gives me the courage to keep going. Actually, my struggle is mostly due to my own resistance and Teal has proved to be very supportive as soon as I am willing to dive into my own darkness and subconscious. As Teal’s husband, I am faced with more inner work than most people but fortunately, I have access to a lot of tools and the facilitation of Teal, Graciela and other community members. In addition to using The Completion Process, I am frequently using parts work. Parts work is what undoes the process of fragmentation through shame. Teal explains this process in detail in her videos and writing however I can share my own understanding about fragmentation… The need to belong and to be loved is one of the most basic human needs as it is what brings us safety in this world. When we are shamed, this important need is threatened so we bury the part of us that we felt got us in trouble. This part gets buried in the subconscious and my ego becomes unaware of it though it continues to affect us in terms of both our actions and thoughts. Parts work brings back the parts of us that we considered unacceptable or dangerous to the conscious mind so that they can be integrated again. For example, I was born as a sensitive indigo child however my family did not have the attunement required for my sensitivity. My mother was depressed, borderline and suicidal. My father was completely cut off from his emotions. Growing up in this environment, I did not receive the love, care and reflection that I needed. I was shamed often for being a “cry baby” so I developed a harsh parentified personality over this sensitive part that was shamed to cry or whine. As a result, I have a protector self that is a cold and shrewd business executive but underneath I have a terrified, crying child that was repressed into my subconscious mind. Parts work is putting me back in touch with that desperate child that is starving for love and affection. Protector selves are often what get in the way of meeting our genuine needs. Who would give touch, love and affection to a powerful business executive? Our behavior will often push people away when we actually want to draw them closer. Shame is an emotion we will avoid at all cost and this in fact is why why most of us have been raised in invalidating environments. Our parents couldn’t face their own shame so they invalidated us. We protect ourselves behind fake masks and the whole society is crippled with this unhealthy habit of invalidating others and ourselves in order to fit and conform. The movement of authenticity intends to reverse this societal trend that is making us more isolated every day. In order to guarantee belonging, many of us have developed “good guy” personalities over parts of us that we considered unacceptable. These “good guy” personalities are actually the most inauthentic and the most removed from genuine feeling and from our true essence. It may be counter intuitive but these are the most sociopathic aspects of ourselves because when we are caught up in them, our desire to be good stems only from thinking about how to get out of trouble instead of true empathy. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions” is an adage that illustrates this fact. Even the most dangerous psychopaths have a need to appear good to themselves. For example, Teal’s perpetrator, Doc, would think that he killed children to keep them safe, that he had to be strong to be able to do the dirty job so that the cult he was a part of would prosper and succeed in its mission, that the sacrificed victims were lucky to be selected to serve such a grand purpose. Denial is the tool used to keep us away from reality. In this work on ourselves, it is critical to be brutally honest with oneself and not sugar coat. We need to have the courage to face our flaws, our negative thoughts and our selfishness if we are going to be more authentic. I know this is counter intuitive but the “asshole” in us is actually closer to authenticity than our “good guy” personality. Parts work requires a non judgmental facilitator who has embraced and accepted his/her own darkness as otherwise we will not have the courage to overcome our own shame about these aspects of ourselves. These aspects of us are unsavory and we are terrified to share them with anyone as it could mean rejection, shame and the lack of love we are starving for so desperately. The last few months have been so intense that I haven’t had any time to write a blog. But I have become aware of so much in that period of time. I want to tell you about it. So I will give you a couple examples with my own life to demonstrate what parts works combined with The Completion Process have unveiled in my own life lately. Addiction to Conflict My mother oscillated between three states when I was young. The most common was dissociation, self-absorption and emotional absence. The other two were genuine affection or conflict. I was the most terrified by her dissociation. I wanted positive attention but did not know to get it consistently. However, I always knew how to create a conflict to get her attention. I know this is counter intuitive but we would rather receive abuse than neglect because abuse is a form of connection. I realized this is why I have attracted high conflict partners for most of my life, or most specifically partners that had insecurities, which would be easy to trigger. This dynamic became clear to me as I observed a community member at Philia. When she was single, she was quiet, relatively stable and was doing a good job. Then she entered a relationship with a nice man but unbeknownst to him, he kept triggering all of her insecurities. From that point on, she became completely erratic, locking herself in her bedroom for days in a row, falling into victim control dramas or staying frozen in fear. I recognized that actually I, in the same way, would catalyze women into frequent crisis. Now that I have more awareness of this pattern, I am hopeful to bring more relationships into my life where I can have affection without the need for conflict. Just like my father, I always experienced intimate partnerships with a high degree of conflict and this gave me the feelings that women in general are irrational and nuts while I was causing most of the ruptures in relationships with women struggling with chronic insecurities. These outbursts would not have happened if I did not constantly trigger these women’s deep sense of inadequacy and fear of abandonment. We were using each other to become conscious of our unresolved traumas. On their side, they often came from abusive childhoods where they were wired to believe that love=abuse so we were a perfect match for each other. My “good guy” personality made it impossible for me to see that I was at the root of most triggers. I saw myself instead as a “saint” who had to sacrifice himself for the sake of the family and be the wiser one to endure the constant outburst from the drama queens that surrounded me. Competition for pain My mother is a hypochondriac. She felt powerless to get love and attention any other way. Her older sister displays the same behavior. They endured a very high level of neglect in the French foster care system where they were raised. They would only get a little bit of attention from people when something very wrong and physically damaging would happen to them. Otherwise, it was complete absence and no one would really care for them. As a result, they felt the need to manipulate to get their needs met and this process is unconscious. When my mum was in pain, there was no space for anyone else’s pain so her pain would invalidate my pain. As a result, I have learned there is space only for one person’s pain in a relationship. After losing my two children to parental alienation, I kept invalidating Teal’s pain of being made a dangerous cult leader in court, of being harassed by an angry ex-wife, of losing the promise of an integrated family. I felt if I validated Teal’s pain, it would invalidate the pain of losing my children, which was excruciating. I have learned to change this pattern and make space for both of our pain. I do not need to compete anymore for my pain. Sharing our pain and making space for each other’s pain can be another way to be intimate together instead of it being something that is constantly pulling us apart. Surviving abandonment and loss by leaving first When I was nine years old, my mother left overnight to live with the man she had fallen in love with and I was left in the (un)care of my father for 18 months. Until that time, I was deeply enmeshed with my mother. Because of her own childhood trauma, she had made me completely dependent on her (I was her buoy). So when she left, I was left with very little to cope with this sudden separation. I had to completely shut down emotionally to survive the following 18 months until I was reconnected with my mother. When I turned 14 years old, my mother and stepfather had a child of their own which I experienced as another abandonment as most of the attention focused on the new baby. Subconsciously, I developed the desire to abandon her before she abandoned me again. I would often have arguments with my mother at that time and when my grandparents helped me get my own apartment when I was 16, I took this opportunity to leave home. I exhibited the same pattern with my own country as it takes a lot to become an emigrant and leave everything behind to start a new life. When I left France in 1995, the country was in an economic depression and there were repeated terrorist attacks in Paris where I lived. I felt my skills were unwanted and that it was a dangerous place to live. So I left before it would hurt me more. I repeated the pattern of merging with dangerous environments then abandoning them, and surviving the separation when I joined a cult from age 20 to 23, and again when I married into a narcissistic family structure from age 26 to 41. An outside observer with a secure attachment would have easily seen that I was getting in trouble by getting attached with the wrong type of people but my wires were crossed. I did not believe I could be loved for who I was, so being used gave me some sense of security. This was the repeat of my childhood trauma. Everything that is unhealed and unconscious will unfortunately continue to manifest in our reality and cause tragedy. Abandonment runs deep in my family line on both sides. My mother was abandoned when she was three and placed into the foster care system after neighbors complained about the abuse done to the children. My father was abandoned at birth during the Second World War and reunited with his mother only when he was ten. My grandmother who is 101 today was kicked out of her house when she was 13 after her mother died and her father remarried. All of them felt powerless to the circumstances of their lives just like my own mother felt very unsafe with a disconnected and unfaithful husband. I felt just as powerless not to induce deep abandonment traumas with my own children when I moved from California to Utah six month after separation. I was caught between the harassment and parental alienation of my ex wife and the promise of a new life with the woman of my dreams. Getting more aware of my abandonment pattern is helping me process it directly and emotionally instead of replaying it externally to my dismay. Instead of repeating traumatic events, I can now go directly for my genuine need, which is permanent connection and safety in my marriage. Surviving abandonment and loss is not my real need; it is a coping mechanism for not getting what I want in the first place because my damaged inner child felt unworthy of it. What you hate in your parents lives in you! I held resentment towards my father as a child. He made me feel very little as he was so disconnected. In many ways, I have hurt my children the same way and I am now working hard on myself so that I will stop displaying these behaviors when we reconnect. But first I have to face the shame and the guilt of my previous behaviors. For example, when we would go on hikes, I would often walk far off in front of them, not using the opportunity to really connect to them. I would attend their concerts or performances more because I wanted to avoid the trouble of being shamed for not being there instead of really enjoying to see them. I did not like helping them with their homework because I never received any help when I was a child. The child in me was still angry about it so instead of being aware of this unmet need, and meeting it through my children, I would subconsciously always find something more important to do. I encourage you strongly to look at everything you dislike about your parents, and see how you are replaying your parents’ patterns. The only way to break the cycle of pain is to own the part of you that is replaying your unconscious parent and see it with the light of awareness. It is difficult as we have to embrace the shame of repeating the patterns that have hurt us so much as a child. Now that you are an adult, your parents are not the issue anymore. The issue is that part of you that keeps playing out your unconscious parents! This is the most important work you can do for your children. This is why we say our children are our teachers as they will reflect to us everything that we have not transformed. With parts work, you can play the part of the you that is exhibiting your parents behavior that is hurting your loved ones, and through this increased awareness, you will discover more effective strategies to live your life. You do not idealize your parents and you do not run away from them. It is a third option where you can see them more objectively to see the subconscious programs that are still controlling you. You can only live your own life fully from the understanding that they had a very important influence on you both positive and negative. They gave us our base circuitry, and the new programming of our desired future positive behaviors will have to be based on the understanding of this circuitry. Meeting my own sociopath Most of you have read or watched “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens. The main character suffered deep isolation and abandonment trauma as a kid. He was sent to boarding school and his parents would never accept him home even during times when all the other children went home to their families, like Christmas. To survive emotionally, Scrooge developed disconnection walls and compensated for his unsafety by attaching to things instead of people. For him, it meant becoming wealthy at the expense of others. Luckily, he was awakened by the ghosts of Christmas and was able to find a way back to his heart by becoming aware of the horror of his condition. Doing parts work with Teal, I found the same sociopath in me. I saw the little kid in me so desperate and powerless to connect with others like Scrooge that he finally gave up and put all his focus on controlling things and performance. This is why I was always first in school and became a successful business executive. I had to compensate for deep-seated insecurities mostly related to feeling alone and being abandoned. Through my spiritual journey, I found relief through connecting and selectively identifying to my own transcendental self however I left many of my own inner children in hell. After merging my life with Teal, I have also joined her in a path of integration so that all these parts in me can live together in the conscious mind more harmoniously, whether it is a transcendental part or the hurt little boy in me. Actually, through my inner journeys I have found that the heart is not an actual part as most of the spiritual literature is claiming. It is a gathering place where the soul and our fragmented selves can meet so that all the parts can come together. Again, owning the sociopath in me that hates people makes me safer to others instead of being more dangerous. This part is actually more likely to act out and manifest externally if I am unconscious. Everyone around me actually sees my sociopathic aspect whether I am conscious of it or not. When I am unconscious of it, everyone around me sees it except for me. This is a dangerous place to me and them. It is a place where I am isolated in my own reality. I was wondering why my stepson Winter would sometimes act mean towards me until I recognized the mean part in me. Children (especially crystal children) will mirror all the parts we have disowned to our detriment. This is why the conscious “asshole” is actually safer than the unconscious “good guy”. What was interesting about meeting my sociopath is that this sociopathic part of me did not feel bad or in pain at all; quite the opposite. It had the energy of Trump tweeting to the leader of North Korea “I have bigger weapons than you and you can kiss my ass”. This part felt powerful on the surface and was not affected much by other people’s antagonism. During parts work, it saw a vision of seeing myself old and sick, without any caring family members and only surrounded by care-takers that I would pay to be with me. It took seeing this vision for this part to decide to change. It was similar to Scrooge’s awakening after meeting the ghost of Christmas future. The more I advance in this path, the more I realize the accuracy of the law of mirroring (or the law of attraction). It is both frightening and reassuring at the same time. It is terrifying as it reflects our shadows with outstanding accuracy but it is comforting as it empowers us to change our life circumstances through our inner work. In this path of authenticity, becoming more aware of our needs and learning to express them directly instead of manipulating others is of utmost importance. What I have realized on my side is that our human self is starving to be loved and cared for. For many of us, our collective trauma has made this basic need unattainable as we have become afraid to be rejected emotionally by others when we express this need. We all have different ways to feel loved by others. On my side, touch is the way I feel the most loved by family and friends. I often feel starved because I feel self-conscious to express this need outside the relationship with my wife or going sometimes to get a paid massage. I am afraid to put my need in the middle of relationships for the fear of being rejected, which would be re-traumizing. Healing is about receiving the opposite experience. Also, the love we need to receive in order to heal needs to be heartfelt and unconditional. It cannot be gotten through manipulation or control dramas. To reverse a negative dynamic, we have no other choice than giving this love to others (the love they can receive because it would match their love language). It cannot be done with any strings attached. Being vulnerable and putting one’s needs in the middle without any sense of expectation is also part of the process in creating a supportive network of friends. These are simple things in life that I have discovered over the last few months can make a world of difference in our happiness and the quality of our existence.
  2. 3 points
    This is exactly what happens when you wake up. Conflicts, inner conflicts because people are so codependent around, and you can' t be inauthentic anymore. I would say, you will havè to risk it. Waking up is also about taking risks, because you will never be sure. Also, that's the flaw of today's society and system. That's what is fucked up, you can like your job, but then you have to apparently "sacrifice" other parts of yourself. That's why we don't work enlightened people haha, but it's true, because when you start integrating, you understand how much people around you are in lack, and they don't even know what freedom is... And you think you should conform, or be able to, but something inside of you wants to feel free... You will have to risk it, what I would say *
  3. 3 points
    To give them presence, means let them be angry for as long as they are angry. Don't try to change it. Just be with it. I usually think to myself "I'll be there with you whether you're happy or angry" and it helps me. If they are being aggressive toward everyone even you, give them space until they calm down or maybe try to provide a way to express the anger (let them scream, punch a punching bag, etc.) Anger is not there to prevent the powerlessness, it is the emotional step up from it. I think this highly depends on the situation. If they're attacking you, don't just stand there.
  4. 3 points
    DO NOT MISTAKE ME The woman in me is wild. I am as innocent as a new born star and as carnivorous as a Bengal tiger do not mistake me. I am as patient as a snow capped mountain and as insatiable as a blistering volcano do not mistake me. I am beautiful as the face of a flower and as ruthless as a hive of bees. Do not mistake me. Im as wise as the emptyiest night sky. and as fresh as the returning dawn. Do Not MISTAKE me. I am as predictable as the wings of a butterfly. And as vital as the beating in your chest. Do not Mistake me. I am an innocent wild. I am inescapable.
  5. 3 points
    I went back to “grandmother” last week. I am not talking about my actual grandmother (who just turned 101 years old this week), but the plant medicine administered by the shamans more commonly called Ayahuasca. Some centers in Costa Rica can actually administer it in a completely legal way. It always amazes me that some of the most toxic and addictive pharmaceutical drugs are administered completely legally in the US, while the most healing and non-addictive drugs (such as Ayahuasca) are banned. Though it was beneficial in so many ways, my last Ayahuasca journey 3 months ago had been hell. Even so, I knew I had to come back. When I went last time, I was stuck and desperate. This time however, I felt pretty good. I had a clear sense of direction. But just like we should not wait for a health collapse to start exercising or eating healthy, it is also wise to visit “grandmother” before we hit rock bottom. This time, I did not have any particular intention besides coming closer to living my life with an open heart in a state of spontaneity. This has been a conscious goal of mine for at least 20 years. I felt anxious but in a state of acceptance before the ceremony. As we grow wiser, the fear does not disappear. Instead, we learn to speak with it so that it does not freeze us into inaction. Every meeting with "grandmother" is a form of ego death and an opening into the unknown. We are afraid of this uncertainty. There were just 3 of us for this ceremony; one community member and a local Yoga teacher. We were brought to a beautiful location with a river and abundant fruit trees. We had a couple of hours to chill out before darkness. After exploring the property, I used this opportunity to take a nap. After I woke up, I chatted with the shaman who shared his own journey with me about finding God. He explained that he does not see himself as a separate individual who has to control his life to make things happen anymore. He sees himself as one of the many arms of the divine. And in this new perspective and identity, synchronicity is abundant. A more universal and larger “he” is working towards the fulfillment of his mission. As we were talking after dark, I noticed the beautiful fireflies (lightning bugs) that were flying around us. The shaman asked if I wanted to see one closer. He made a few steps, took one in his hands and showed it to me. The firefly was completely at peace and seemed to enjoy itself despite the fact that I was looking at it very closely. There was instinctive trust between it and the shaman and with me vicariously. After I spent 2 minutes contemplating the two light dots on its back, the firefly flew away into the dark. It was now time. The shaman called me to take in the drink. The taste of Ayahuasca is quite awful. Despite this, I declined his offer of taking honey to sweeten the bitter potion. It never takes me very much to start on my shamanic journey. Perhaps the fact that I always choose to fast for at least 2 days before the medicine could be a reason for this sensitivity. Within 5 minutes, my heartbeat had accelerated and my body felt the need to dance, sing and move. The shaman gave me maracas to beat with the music. It felt good to be able to express the energy this way because I know that when the energy gets stuck, confusion and purging are sure to follow. I felt the need to be active with my body for about 30 minutes until “grandmother” called me back to my inner world. I was entering the psychedelic part of the journey. This was only my third time doing Ayahuasca. I had done it for the first time 5 years ago. During this first journey, I was first called to a high definition, high-tech fractal space. The sharp and very colorful beings that appeared were frightening. I felt I could not trust them. They initially appeared as predators to me. It was so scary that I became afraid of death and of leaving my body. During my second journey, I saw them again. I was not as afraid. However, I still chose to ignore them. In this journey, we were able to establish a more trusting connection. I started to accept that they might be benevolent beings from a higher dimension. They felt like doctors from the future. They took me into what seemed like a spaceship for treatment and were quite busy. Their physical appearance seemed high tech, and like very colorful, robotic flamingos. As I warmed up to them, I even entertained the fact that I could be one of them on a visit to Earth. They recommended to me to keep coming every 3 months for a check-up because it is critical that I keep working on my heart connection. They told me to do this because I will inevitably gather heart blocks and hindrances during the normal course of my life at this stage of my evolution on Earth. My heart is the receptor that makes it possible to listen to the truth from higher dimensions and to live in harmony with the laws of this universe. During this journey, I identified this truth my heart is trying to receive from a higher dimension as Christ Consciousness. They went on explaining to me that the Lord left his Kingdom to our care, and only by staying connected to our heart, can we administer his territory (Earth) according his Loving and Conscious Will. I was then brought into the current state of the world. I was sent into the immense, heartless gears of a machine in a production factory. It felt like animal farming but for humans. It was all about production, power, control and profit with no consideration for human feelings and happiness. Facing the actual reality of the matrix and the new world order was incredibly brutal for my conscience under Ayahuasca. As Teal’s husband, I became interested in better understanding SRA (Satanic Ritual Abuse) and the abominable treatments she went through in her childhood in order to become a more informed and supportive husband. Before I knew her, I was aware of corruption and conspiracy, like most of us. But I felt powerless to do anything about it. The information on the Internet seemed sensational, contradictory in nature and not very scientific. I felt I could not verify the veracity of one perspective against the other. So I let go and just went about my own business dealing with things I could actually have control over. A turn around in my thinking happened when I read Breaking the Chain from Svali, a former Illuminati trainer. It was similar in many ways to what I heard from Teal's direct cult experience. Two other books from former presidential models Cathy O’Brien and Brice Taylor Trance:Formation of America and Thanks For The Memories confirmed the corruption and moral depravity of our world leaders. It also confirmed that the situation is much worse that I had initially envisioned. Most of what we are taught or hold true is sadly just lies and manipulation. History is teaching us that we defeated the Nazis. They have actually won as their most lethal weapon, Mind Control, has infiltrated all parts of society that have a concentration of money and power such as politics, religion, large corporations, media networks, music & sports industry all over the world. Actually, the top Nazi experts in mind control (such as Josef Mengele) were placed in top US universities in complete secrecy to continue their research. The new world order is already in place. The elites realized it was much easier to control the masses when the masses are ignorant to what exactly is going on. The creation of human slaves through trauma based mind control and dissociation is the covert tool for the elite to lead society in any way they chose to. I am convinced that Presidential elections are decided in advance or when they are not, they make sure to control both candidates that are presented to the people. This was the case in the USA with Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. And it was the case again in France with Marine Le Pen and Emmanuel Macron. National elections are nothing but a puppet show designed to distract the masses from what is really going on. The actual world leaders are not the ones that are fed to us by the media. These leaders are just corrupt puppets that have already 'sold their soul to the devil' through criminal activities, sex deviance and various addictions. The world as we know it is actually governed by black lodges that act in complete secrecy to feed demonic or low astral entities that have cut themselves off from Source. As a result, their only way to sustain themselves is through manipulation and stealing energy from beings who are still connected with their heart and with the divinity. Such as people like us. “Grandmother” showed me more clearly the covert ways that we all get corrupted. I am going to give you some examples. Being vegan is quite inconvenient in our society, so we develop the taste and the craving for unethical food that requires the systematic murder of our animal friends. These foods are heavily advertised through the mainstream media. By buying and eating this food, we become the partner in crime of the elite so now we have to defend them to cover our own shame. Let’s look at another form of insidious corruption. We work hard to develop skills and abilities to get us ahead and create a better world together. During our progression, we reach a spot where we get closer to a leader that we used to admire. As we get to know him personally, we realize his level of moral depravity and we feel disillusioned and helpless. We then exchange our sincere desire to do good for the world and our longing for a merciful God for the vanity of belonging with the “big boys”. There is no turning back as our thirst for power and security make us commit actions that if revealed would make us lose everything. As we get corrupted, we become easily controlled and manipulated. This is one of the reasons why the leading politicians are such sex addicts. They had to corrupt themselves to such an extent to get to the top that sexual deviance is used to sedate them because their conscience that is tormenting them. At least this is true for the ones that are not completely disconnected and dead inside. Many facets of society are conducive to traumas that promote disconnection and selfishness so that we, the masses, are more easily manipulated. There is only one escape from this somber reality. It is the connection to our own heart. Purity, personal integrity and self-discipline, the antithesis of corruption, is what keeps this heart link alive. At that phase of my shamanic journey, I saw the voice of the Lord (Christ Consciousness) on the other end of my heart. This is the inner guidance and connection we desperately need in order to not give in the manipulation and venality of our leadership. In their gloomy reality, everything is transactional. People’s value is judged according to a hierarchy and people hold no value in themselves. It is a predatory environment based on exploitation rather than taking care of each other. It is a world full of backstabbing, lies, manipulation, betrayal, selfishness and apathy. To realize the split in oneself between the two realities of our heart and disconnected mind is the first step towards healing, and loosening the grip with our own demons. How we spend our time, what we buy and who we connect with will strengthen or weaken the parts of this polarity within us. Become a vegetarian, avoid watching TV and mainstream media, develop authentic heart-based relationships, maintain a healthy balance in your life between work, family & friends. Be kind with all living beings. Buy an electric car with solar panels on your roof. Honor the word you gave. Be congruent with your value system in all of your relationships. And build a trusting connection with the divine. These are some practical steps we can take to do our part in this confusing world in order to slowly develop an internal frame of reference when faced with the brutality of the truth regarding the world elite. During that night with “grandmother”, I was brought back many times to my wife. I felt so much love towards her that the words are lacking to express this ecstatic feeling. I was shown that as a species, I saw how our need to attach is so critically important. Our society, and even the spiritual field, is so much about developing independence. But it is unnatural. This is why understanding attachment theory is such an important key in one’s personal healing and in explaining most personality disorders. Attaching to someone we love is so critical and healthy to our personal development. This is another reason why I am excited to facilitate our next singles retreat in July, and to catalyze people towards finding new love. Relationships are hard but there is nothing else in life that can bring the same level of joy and fulfillment. At a deeper level I could see my absolute terror of aloneness and accept it as something healthy. We have been shamed for wanting intimate connection as it makes us look needy, weak and dependent. But this is our birthright. It is also natural to be frightened to attach as it is so painful to lose the connection once the relationship breaks. This is why I want to educate people to recognize a match when they find one and then to empower them with tools to help grow the relationship and avoid rupture. There is something truly sacred when two people commit to each other. Only a life with love is worth living. I was shown how when a woman marries a man, she gives herself to him and to that extent, he becomes her owner. However, this is ownership in the sense of nurturing and caretaking in the same way Teal & I feel responsible for the land we own at Philia with all the trees, plants, animals and insects. We will not kill even a snake or a scorpion on our property. We are not speaking here of ownership the way that the corrupt elite think of it. Their understanding of ownership is nothing but exploitation. The millions of mind controlled slaves today in the world can attest to this fact. During this new experience with Ayahuasca, I developed a new relationship with purging. Purging is used by Ayahuasca as a purification mechanism. Let’s agree to call a repressed and unhealthy attachment, belief, negative emotion or fear that is here to repress a sense of lack we have within ourselves, a 'demon'. As we experience resistance to letting go of our inner demons, Ayahuasca will sometimes attach them to our own fluid to purge both at the same time. This process is painful but salutary. 3 months ago, I did so much purging that I was really not looking forward to it again. Fortunately, this time, purging was only required on two occasions. The first one was related to the culpability around my children. Interestingly enough, I thought I was exempt of culpability as I hold the conscious belief that I always do my best; so if it could have been better, it would have been. Actually, Ayahuasca made me realize that I was deeply repressing the culpability of losing my children. It was difficult to accept so “grandmother” had to get me to expel it physically. It felt such a relief once this energy was out of me. The second purge was related to an action that I had taken that I knew was not in the best interests of a loved one even though it made financial sense. The mind had unfortunately won and I ended up full of remorse. I had to suffer the potential consequence of damaging a very important connection for a monetary gain and realized deeply that it was not worth it. I made the decision to come clean to the person, take full responsibility for my decision and openly communicate about the shadow that had taken a hold of me. I ended up doing this a couple of days later. And the person, while dissatisfied, did not hold a grudge as he felt I was sincere with my regrets. “Grandmother” challenged me throughout the night with some of my beliefs and actions. She would tell me “we can do this the easy way or the hard way”. This time, she only had to do it twice the hard way, which is something I am very thankful for. I developed a new understand regarding our relationships with demons. Demons are not able to have a hold on us unless we repress feelings or emotions. Denial is a necessary condition for demons. I got to better understand why Teal is so open with her emotions even though sometimes people in the spiritual world judge it as non spiritual. By being authentic about how she truly feels (even if it can be frown upon as a spiritual teacher), she makes herself less vulnerable to these demonic entities. I am also trying to be more open about my own struggles so that many will follow in those footsteps and together we can be more authentic and accelerate our path of healing and learning. The most deviant men today are often the ones that are looked at with the highest regards: Our presidents, heads of religious institutions or non-profit organizations, artists or sports idols. The books I mentioned above will make you realize this fact. They appear saintly for the media but participate in the worst perversions behind closed doors. Many people have become experts in projecting an appearance they give that has nothing to do with reality. As we come closer to seeing reality, the level of manipulation is such that we may feel lost and not believe in anything or anyone anymore. In fact, when an action is made that tries to solicit positive attention, it is already suspicious. Productive narcissism, as defined by Ross Rosenberg in the Human Magnet Syndrome, is still narcissism. It is enough for our intentions, thoughts and deeds to be known by the divinity. Ultimately, as we cross over to death, this is the only authority we will have to answer to anyway. I am currently counseling a business executive in developing a truly connected and intimate relationship with his new partner. Despite his best intentions, he is unable to feel into her, see her and understand her, which activates many insecurities in her and leads to conflict. He sees her as emotionally unstable, as if she is acting out for no valid reason. He thought I would help him to fix her and so he became surprised when I confronted him that most of the work would be on his side. We would have to get him to reconnect to his heart. When I talked to him, I felt true compassion. I understand the struggle and suffering to go through to bring our inner child back to life. Unfortunately, in the business world, we are often rewarded for developing sociopathic behaviors. 10 years ago, I remember telling an older executive I hired for my company that I was proud that I had never fired anyone in my company. He made fun of me and told me that he was going to make me tougher. Two years later, I had to go through a downturn and had to fire almost half of the company. He congratulated me for my “progress” and "expediency". As a business executive, we need to make many decisions that impact people's lives and families. With the goal to succeed in a highly competitive environment, we do not give ourselves the time to feel and evaluate the consequence of our decisions on our employees’ emotional lives. As a consequence, we learn to feel less & less. After 20 or 30 years in a position with responsibility, we have developed such a capacity to disconnect that we become incapable of developing a truly intimate and connecting relationship. We start treating our significant other like an employee and we start optimizing the home life in the same way that we do our office life. The irony is that most of our professional success is driven by the desire to be loved, admired and respected by our loved ones. It often leads us to a place where we are wealthier but completely alone. I am spending a lot of my time now undoing what I thought was useful to my career. I want to tell the younger generation that it was not worth it. Money & power is never worth selling your soul to the devil and disconnecting with your inner child. Do not compromise your personal integrity for short-term financial gains. It is however easier said than done and the temptations are plenty. “Grandmother” brought to me a new understanding about people suffering with borderline personality disorder (BPD). This disorder often comes hand in hand with people who went through very severe abuse or who have complex PTSD. These people do not have the means to cope with life. Borderline individuals are the psychological equivalent of third-degree burn patient. They simply have, so to speak, no emotional skin. For this reason, the slightest touch or movement can create immense suffering for the borderline. Yet, on the other hand, life is movement so they find themselves in permanent pain and crisis. I was shown that if everyone would lose their capacity to cope (just like the borderline), then the world would rapidly become a better place. By coping, the rest of us are actually enabling and feeding the dysfunctionality of this world. Every day, we keep accepting the unacceptable: killing our animal friends for food when it is absolutely unnecessary, keeping our corrupt leaders unaccountable for their crimes, exploiting and polluting our earth for profit, ignoring the abuse of minorities as long as we are not part of it. What would happen if we were to become physically incapable of participating in all of this wrongdoing? A similar analogy can be made of autistic children who from a spiritual perspective are refusing to engage in our 3D reality as a wake-up call for the rest of us. During the night, “grandmother” kept revisiting all these various topics with me, going deeper every time. At dawn however I shed my first tears when I fully felt the pain of separation with my two children; my little ones that will always be my babies. They are the flesh of my flesh (“la chair de ma chair” in French). It is so hard to feel alienated by them. I have not had contact with them for about a year now. I was then shown the suffering of cows that are separated from their calves at birth for the dairy industry. The cows are then made to produce milk in an industrial way while they are in distress wondering what happened to their babies. The male baby calves are actually brought to a horrible death by the meat industry. The agony of the mother crying for her babies goes into the milk and the cheese that you eat everyday. As I related to this suffering, I decided to let go of dairy products. It is not an easy thing to do for a French man as we are so attached to our cheese. I decided to use the natural cultural temptation of my body's preferences and associate it with the future reconnection with my children. Every time I say no to dairy products, I connect with the suffering of these poor cows longing for their babies. And by doing that, I connect with my own loss. This loss, though uncomfortable, is a way I can connect with my children today and send them my love on the inner planes. It does not matter how much it hurts. I make the commitment that I would rather be connected and be in pain rather than disconnected. I do not want to contribute more to world misery. I still hold so much grief for losing my children. I realize however that I will be their caretaker for the rest of my life whether they accept it or not in this dimension. They live in me just as I live in them regardless of the fact that they are denying this reality presently. This is why it feels so ridiculous that they are currently made to believe they have no father and are being assigned substitute fathers. Fortunately or unfortunately, the connection between biological parents and children can never be erased. I experienced compassion at that point for my own parents. Even though my thoughts diverge from theirs, I promise to give an honest shot at loving them. I do not have to make what they have done OK to love them. I can love them even though I disapprove of many of their actions. The fact is they need peace and appreciation like every one of us. If our children keep evolving and raise their standards for parenting, they will probably find that many of our behaviors were abusive. It is not always easy to love our parents especially if one of our parents keeps hurting us. However by being at war with them, we only are being at war with ourselves. It is a difficult balance to achieve and only within the deepest places of our heart can we know if it is best for us to maintain distance or develop a closer connection with them at a given time. Suddenly, I started breaking down as I relived the double abandonment from my mother and father when I was 11 years old. I was disappointed as I thought I had already worked through this trauma 5 years ago. Obviously, there was still much more to release and I sobbed uncontrollably. “Grandmother” then showed me that my subconscious mind used my own children to re-experience the pain of this double abandonment. My daughter was the first one to disconnect with me. This feels like my mother who left me behind to live a new life. Then 6 months later, my son decided to stop all communication with me. This is a remembrance of my father who gave up on me, as he felt overwhelmed by the pressure he was under. I am called to apologize on this blog to my own children that I used them subconsciously to heal traumas from my own childhood. I want to tell them that the horrible experiences they had to go through are not their fault. This is not their pain. It is their mum and dad’s pains that were replayed subconsciously. It is unfair and cruel to them. This is why it is so important that we do everything we can to heal emotionally before we have children. I have failed in this instance as I could not prevent the ordeal and tragedy my children had to go through. After I am able to fully relive this trauma, I hope they will feel more invited to reconnect with me. Hopefully, they will see that I come more from a place of wanting to add to their lives instead of repeating the hurt from my past. In the meantime, I want them to know that they have been teaching me unconditional love like no one before as I patiently wait for our reconnection. Papa thinks of you everyday and has never abandoned you. And you “Grandmother”, I thank you for revealing to me so many insights that help me becoming a better and more connected man. Your wisdom is grounded in simplicity, truth and heart connection. Thank you for guiding my steps. I will finish this blog with some humor from our friend JP Sears: “If Trump drank Ayahuasca”
  6. 2 points
    This is where postivity-oriented emotional work can come in handy. You feel negative emotions at work, but obviously you need to make money, so a shift in emotionality is crucial. Crucial!! Yes, your feelings matter. Yes, there is a different job that would be ideal. However, whatever job you have now will help you get there... and feeling positive towards your place of work and your coworkers will make it 100X easier. I understand work can suck. So when you feel negative at work, be real about it for a second and then move upward emotionally. Don't sulk, and don't drag your feet too much. Make it a good habit to move onward and upward when you notice negative feelings. Feel it, yes, for a moment... then take a breath and feel better. Sometimes it helps to keep your end goal in mind, whatever it is. And also try some affirmations outside of work. "I can enjoy my work", "I honor my coworkers and customers, and I like being around them." etc etc. Cruuuucial to be happy at work.
  7. 2 points
    First European Teal Tribe Completion Process Gathering Teal Tribe Completion Process Gathering We are more than excited to invite you to our first Teal Tribe Completion Process Gathering! This gathering will be a very unique event which will combine the warm feeling of Teal Tribe family, and the healing power of the Completion Process* by Teal Swan. This gathering is an opportunity for us to connect deeply to our inner selves and also to feel connections with each other. Our 4 days program will be focused on healing using the Completion Process, part work and channeling. We will have fun and also enjoy connection games, music, dancing, connecting with nature and tuning into our emotions and intuition. You will have the chance to receive a CP from a selective team of CP practitioners who have been trained by Teal Swan, so if you haven't done CP yet this is your chance! And if you are familiar with it, it will be amazing to do it and see how your external world is changing! What is a Completion Process? It's an emotional healing modality created by the spiritual catalyst Teal Swan, she used this method to heal her childhood trauma - 13 years of horrific physical, mental, and sexual abuse. The Completion Process takes you on a restorative journey of healing and liberation. For anyone who has been fractured by trauma—and according to Teal, in one way or another, we all have — the CP is a way to put ourselves back together again, no longer inhibited by the past or terrified of the future. For more info, check out this video: https://youtu.be/9jty-QG_N8c What is Teal Tribe Gathering? It's a spiritual community family gathering similar to a small rainbow gathering, yet our focus is on emotional healing and shadow work, authenticity and expressing all our emotions fully. The program: The full program will be announced later We will start Friday morning at 9:30 and finish at 9:30 pm. Closing circle on Monday at 3:00 pm You are welcome to arrive one day before and stay longer if you want to connect and spend time with us The CP practitioners: Coming soon Tickets: The early bird price: 130 euro (for the first 5 tickets and until 15th march only) Normal price: 150 euro * http://buytickets.at/connectiongames/152761 Food and accomodation: The place is adventure cozy rather than fancy, it has 8 sleeping rooms, cozy gathering room, huge space outside, and fire circle <3 The cost of accomodation and food together is 55 euro plus 5 euro for borrowing a sheet, pillow's cover etc. (you can bring your own if you like). If you like to arrive one day before or stay longer its possible with the accommodation cost of 10 euro per day. Free parking places are available, How to get there: By car navigate Rallenweg 4, 13505 Berlin Free parking places are available, By public transformation use U 6 direction altTegle and then bus 133 direction alt Heiligensee Or use your google map 😊 What to bring with you: - Towel - Refillable water bottle - Blanket or mat for sitting on the grass - Blanket or sleeping bag if you want to sleep in your tent or for warming yourself in the night at the fire - Warm clothes (it could get really cold in Berlin) - Notebook and pen - Musical instruments for a music jam at the fire (drums, rattles, flutes, guitars etc.) - Tools for introducing your workshop (if you want to offer it) - Torch for safe walking outside in the night - Swimsuit - Slippers - Scarf or blindfold for OSHO meditations - Your open heart <3 If you share our vision that this kind of gathering is very important and you want to support it, we would love to welcome you to participate at the last day sharing circle with your ideas and energy about how to sustain holding this event in the future <3 *) In order to cover the cost of the practitioners and the space where the event is taking place, it is necessary to increase the usual price of the gathering. We exclude our personal costs as organizers to keep it affordable for everyone <3 Yet it is still a great opportunity as a usual price of one CP session itself is around 150 EUR. Here you will not only have the chance to be facilitated by a certified practitioner, you will meet different practitioners, watch them working in their unique ways, ask your questions, share your experience and learn through Others' experiences. If money is a problem, don't hesitate to contact Ram Alsamann. With so much love Ram, Fredric and Renata. My experience and why I'm organizing this event?! The Teal Tribe Gathering has literally changed my life, I felt seen, heard and accepted as I am, I felt the real love and deeper level of authenticity and connection, being in this state of safety and unconditional love allowed me to open up and show vulnerability. It was healing experience that ended my depression and connected me with the most amazing people I have met in my life! The completion process is a kick ass genus method that changed my perception of life! We know that time exist in our mind (here and now is the only space we can live in, right?) our past affect us by the emotion that we carry from previous events, trauma happen during painful events where our personality split, so what if we can relive the pain accept it and alter the situation and integrate the personalities splits!, that will change the emotion that accrued at that time and make immediate changes in our life here and now! Every time I do CP something change in my external life! It's like cleaning my inner crystal so more light can shine from within
  8. 2 points
    There are 24 hours in one day. You work 8. Perhaps sleep 8 hours a day on average. What do you do with the rest of your 8 hours? If you want to change your life start right there! Many people get caught in working so many hours that they barely see the sun. When you start prioritizing what's more important, what actually gives life and not sucks it out, the work begins rearranging itself to accommodate the lifestyle you see yourself living.
  9. 2 points
    I just popped on inspiring video, realized it suits to this topic, a man sharing his Near Dead Experience
  10. 2 points
    Heh, this thread's been *very* amusing, to correct you there! Kind of frustrating too at points, but in the largest part amusing and informative. I think, having looked at it, MistaRender's entire posting history can be completely summed up as 'a pot calling a kettle black'. I think there are definately bad people in the world. At least, as far as the majority interpretations of good and bad tend to go. But I find the worst 'bad' comes from intellectual and emotional laziness. I think behaviour is the closest thing to a reliable measure we have. I find that those bad people tend to be so because they imagine themselves soley as right and just, and that means they never need to make real effort to look at how they interact with other people; they choose not to look at their own actions from anyone's perspective but their own ego. After all, if they're as right and just as they like to see themselves, why even bother entertaining any other theories? That's both too hard, and *obviously* pointless. So it follows, to these bad people, that so long as they have the pretense of good, they never have to worry that they might actually be complete pieces of shit to other people, because hey, it's all in persuit of good, right? They ignore the truth that them imagining themselves as good and just doesn't actually make it so. Their behaviour, in practice, has nothing to do with how they like to see themselves. Since they seem so very set on the idea of there being good and bad people, I would definately have to say that MistaRender falls into the latter category. Just about every insult they throw at other people seems to be entirely fitting if it were to be directed straight back at them, and they're always the first to start throwing those insults. It would make sense that they'd spend their time trying to 'uncover' hidden evils of internet personalities. I know a lot of very bad people who live that way, both on and offline. To those people, being able to point to someone worse than them means they're magically expunged of all responsibility for their more mundane type of shittiness to the people around them. It's similar to 'whataboutery' that's popular to talk about atm in politics, but a bit less concious. Having the pretense of searching out bad means they always have a pretense of good, no matter how shit they actually act towards other people, or how little 'bad' they actually ever manage to uncover, let alone prevent. As an aside, I weighed up posting this for a while... seems a bit mean. But overall, I think honesty and openess is paramount, and I don't subscribe to any school of thought that discourages expressing negativity towards people who've gone out of their way to encourage it. And MistaRenda's been consistently outright fucking vile. There's quite a lot more I would like to say, but there's diminishing returns on it, after a point.
  11. 2 points
    My first comment is, I'm impressed that you'e been at the same job for four years. It's quite an accompliment.... And I'd say you can' really say you really don' keep jobs anymore. My second comment would be, try to figure out how to increase your performance at your current job, since you'e admitted to not being as productive as you want to be. .... And while your doing that, test the market for a new more (relatively) exciting job. Third, practice telling us/people/yourself what you think you want to accomplish in life.... for that is part of accomplishing it. You'e taken the time to share with us your thoughts on blockages and shame and the like, but perhaps, talking about what you want and the way you want it to happen will crack the blockages and slowly heal the shame. We can explore the benefits of what you get about being blocked and feeling depressed, but it seems like your ready to make the shift. I feel like you'e posted because you wanted to be heard, but moreso to ask for permission to pursue a dream. In that, I give you permission. What would you like to being accomplishing? ☺
  12. 2 points
    Day 128 of 365 'What Would Someone Who Loves Themselves Do?' Teal says Autoimmune disease is caused when a persons childhood strategy to stay safe was to turn against themselves. Their parents were antagonistic in nature so in order to stay off the radar they had to not be ok. The child put, themselves down, reported bad days, and hid their happiness. If the child beats themselves up before the critical parent, that's autoimmune disease. It's learned self hate and "It's not going to heal when it's currently being reinforced." By being sick the parent doesn't attack, or have the occasion to. If they aren't living with the parent and the pattern is not being perpetuated the likelihood for healing is very high. What a smack in the face. Wow. I moved back to my mother in Alaska because Chronic Fatigue, anxiety and hypoglycemia slowly evolved to the point to where I couldn't financially support myself. I had no idea I was moving back into the environment that birthed my symptoms to begin with. Previously I had blamed all of my emotional turmoil on my father, and my mother had become a good friend over the years. I was unaware she was a Covert Narcissist threatened by my happiness and regularly said and did things to make me feel small. I never fucking saw it before a month ago. Since moving back home two years ago I have gotten substantially worse and now feel like its a big task and a privilege to even leave my apartment for an hour. If moving is not currently an option, it's a top priority to stop perpetuating the problem. It is imperative I stand up for myself when criticized, and it's even more imperative to recognize all the ways in which I put myself down in conversation with other people and when I'm alone. Nearly all of these posts have a degree of me calling myself out on my issues before someone else points a finger. Contrary to my expectations, I'm grateful for is the support I've received allowing for a safe space to process my feelings. Dammit I'm "fixing" myself again in order to retrieve a quality life and get love. Fuck it. It's a self loving thing to do. Her talk on Autoimmune disease was the daily update on 02/25/18
  13. 2 points
    Who told you being wrong and ridiculous was bad? Who ridiculed you as a kid? Who punished you for failure? Who told you, you were lazy, crazy, insufferable? Or that being lazy was bad. Being crazy was bad? Being insufferable to THEM was bad? Its like you've been twisted in knots. And its okay not to have all the answers. Sometimes lazy is exactly what I need. Sometimes crazy is exactly what I need. Sometimes people can't suffer me. Sometimes I need my ego. Sometimes I need to avoid. Sometimes I need to be immature. Sometimes humble. Sometimes mature. Sometimes direct. That's what I read. When you are okay with these bits. You'll find people that stay in your life are too. All the best.
  14. 2 points
    My impression of an infantile morality: -people are either 100% good or 100% bad -it’s “us” against “them”. Either that or “me against my brother. Me and my brother against our cousin. Me, my brother and my cousin against everyone else”. -you are either with me or against me. And if you aren’t with me then you are stupid. My impression of a more mature morality: -nobody is 100% good nor 100% bad. -there is no “them”. we are all “us”. Male, female, black, white, brown, red, yellow, LGBTQAEIOUandSometimesY are all people. We are all people and we should treat each other as such. -if you aren’t with me then you are necessarily against me. And if you disagree with me then you might have a valid point. Let’s talk about it.
  15. 2 points
    Day 126 of 365 'What Would Someone Who Loves Themselves Do?' Slept after 2am. Woke at 4am super dizzy with low blood sugar and ate. Woke at 6am dizzy, went to pee. Woke throughout the night from the pops of the heater then at 9:45am for Teal's online workshop that I was already an hour and a half late for. Passed out until 10:15am and woke from a nightmare that stayed with me throughout the day. Grocery shopped out of necessity and with gratitude for my ability to walk around and see the sun. Came home dizzy, learned about my mentality impacting my health then needed to unwind. Watched The Reader, a very well done depressing movie, after watched Machine which equally as depressing. Dizzy and ate a few times in there. Next I burst into tears for no reason, cut up fruit and am hoping to go to bed, as in sleep on the couch, and pray I don't have to wake up to eat. Days like this I want to die. Please don't give me shit about being positive. I'm working on it.
  16. 2 points
    Day 125 of 365 'What Would Someone Who Loves Themselves Do?' I think in order to love myself I need to drop some self sabotaging behavior I do out of resentment. For example, not brushing my teeth for weeks at a time because I was tortured by father about it as a child. Not cleaning up time sensitive spills, or keeping up with my dishes because dammit you can't make me do it now. I refuse to be controlled even if no one is watching. There are other things but 'control' is my biggest trigger. I seethed in anger and powerlessness until hatred pumped through my veins leaving me stunned in frustration unwilling to cry showing vulnerability. I plotted my escape from my family and chose homelessness over shelter in my teens. I was determined to pave my own path away from that toxic bullshit at any cost, proclaiming I don't want to absorb this and pass it on to my children. That was my only shred of self love expressed as raw defiant hatred toward my father as I was unaware my mother was more passive in her equally demeaning methods. You will not control me any longer. I dated controlling men and fought them. I avoided police and any form of authority seeing them as a threat. Corporate jobs did not work out for me. Luckily I found massage, which is fairly self managing. I've been triggered big time. My sister just moved in with a woman with a very small comfort zone. She's is already able to predict what is and is not ok in this new environment without any words spoken. I was so triggered calling this and that out as passive controlling behavior I had to get off the phone. My intention is to do Byron Katie's The Work and return to writing here. I'm back. People may be passive aggressive, but I can choose not to partake in that behavior; It's a choice now that I am aware of when it's occurring, because of this, I am no longer a victim. Recognizing people control out of insecurity takes their power away. It's kind of sad when someone feels so unsafe they attempt to control the world around them. I'm guilty of this with Feng Shui, not so much with people, but that insecurity is the same. I'm finding it more self loving now to choose my battles and set boundaries rather than take every opportunity to be right succumbing to every trigger. I'm also taking things less personally. In the words of Viktor E. Frankl sums this up exquisitely. "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." I don't have it all figured out but I'm seeing I'm triggered by old programing and I just need to remind myself I have boundaries, choices and I'm not a victim anymore. Leave it to The Work to open my eyes and calm me right down.
  17. 2 points
    Ah there's the issue. Instead of accepting the possibility, you try to deny or invalidate it entirely, and turn people against other people. That's outright manipulation mate. You've had issues with 3 or 4 different people, and you're blaming them rather than looking at yourself. Seeing a bit of a theme here. One or two people having issues with you, maybe... but four? Maybe, just maybe you could consider that there's something within your own implementation that's causing an issue here? Just think about it. You're the primary contributor of insults and slander against others and their views. Bit of a red flag there. Even so, You've already gathered an infamous reputation among the TS community. Wouldn't really put it past you to be blind to your own actions. Don't try to put words in other people's mouths. These are you interpretations. You don't speak for them, you don't speak for me, only yourself. Also, what about my picture? I just like it so I used it. If I was a troll I wouldn't be putting so much effort in. Could've just made a blank slate account if I wanted to do that. Threat, what threat? If they didn't want to read what anyone else says then that's down to them. No one is forcing them to see it or listen. You're just trying to make it out as something it isn't: Projection. No one's "enlightened", That's just their own projection. Social disorder though. You might have one. Not saying you actually do, just consider. Instead you're shifting the automatic fault and blame onto other people. I've actually seen many of your posts and very few people reply to them. Think they've realized what you're like. It's your bullshit they're seeing. If I was bullshitting, any decent person would call me out or simply ignore me. Simple as. You "calling me out" doesn't count being a bullshitter yourself. Well, not really but you're like the kid who cries wolf for attention. However, that said. Consider if I am as you claim me to be and I was trying to troll people, In this way it would be better learned by experience than by your forced perspective. They would understand the full lesson behind it, which by extension would allow them to accept or discard relative beliefs attached to it by their true own volition. Beliefs are beliefs regardless of what they state. "True", "false." The point I was trying to make the whole time is that reality is inherently subjective so your beliefs in what is right and wrong are your own and is valid specifically to you. I'm done here. I was only originally intending to reply to the comments of the others and even answered yours with reasonable accord. There was no intention to cause problems or drama, but it seems to be a tendency that happens when people speak to you. complain all you like, about me, or anyone or anything else. Be as critical or judgmental as you like. The tantrums will be forgotten. It's best that you don't try to cause anymore problems while I still hold respect for you, and for whatever forms of respect others have as well. You mean well but you fall upon your own shortcomings.
  18. 2 points
    Uncertainty and a Seat of our Power The more I allow being uncomfortable with uncertainty, and don't eat it away or game it away or escape from it away. The more I begin to realise things about it. It comes before certainty. Before a result or action. It feels powerful in there. Its hard to be there for me in it. At first. I feel the energy of it in my chest. And often I have to get up and move. It feels nervous and anxious and unsettling and a hundred other things I can't name. Because it hasn't happened yet. Its excitable. Its relief from tension. Its fiery and Its cool as it goes through me. Then I feel blocks being moved away, not all of them obviously but some, as I do what I was uncertain about. Wanted to share my thoughts/feelings on something that i've been uncomfortable with all my life, and so avoided. Rather than being uncomfortable. Uncomfortable is okay today. All the best.
  19. 2 points
    @MistaRender Depends on your individual definition. To some is helping them, to others it's merely listening and accepting their current state. Same premise of the point being you're "there" for "them." It's not about the screaming though, well it is, but not directly. It's the reason "why" they are screaming, but not necessarily about trying to "fix" the problem. It "can" be, but making them aware and understand that you see the validity in why they are screaming. Taking the mask off and attempting to "calm them down"is only one part, in some cases only a short term alleviation. To "be there" for them, it needs to be continuous. Unfortunately, this isn't really a substantial example as it's just a short term issue, unlike a per-longed event. Love is acceptance, so by accepting the reason why they are screaming (as no one would scream for no apparent reason), you are thereby validating the issue which is the first step to being "present" for them. There's a problem that has been created with this idea of "ethical correctness" of how someone "should" approach a situation. That is ultimately irrelevant. There is no "should" "is" "must" etc. Only what is considered subjectively appropriate by the individual by how they react to a circumstance of event or environment.
  20. 2 points
    The Blood Type diet has been debunked countless times. Even Teal has said it's nonsense. This video will explain in detail if you're interested -
  21. 2 points
    They're lashing out because they're being defensive as they don't think anyone is on their side. You might be explaining this to them that you are but they might retort saying "you don't understand" and such. It's mainly about showing that you understand acceptance of why they are angry. I.e. make their concerns being the reason for said anger valid. In fairness, I'd probably be slightly pissed if I received a bottle of conditioner as a Christmas present. :P
  22. 2 points
    Prebirth trauma?! Hello all! I find this subject very vague and hard to approach..so any opinion/suggestion/anything is welcomed! I ve always suffered from depression, even since kindergarten. If I am to describe what depression is to me, it s mostly a reccurent feeling of "not wanting to be in this life", that no structure existent in this 3D life can actually meet my deep needs (I don t even know what needs specifically, I just know they re not met)..there s not even a want for a relationship, money, a good job, having fun or whatever people usually seem to want in their lives. My energy levels are depleted, I ve always felt like a zombie and I sleep 12 hours/day. I have a very very low grasp on my individuality, I feel like I want to melt into everything around me. I spend 90% of my time alone in bed covered with the sheets over my head not wanting to involve in life in any way possible. Very often I feel like I don t even want to talk, and the dissociated and disconnected from everything "in the air" feeling is always there. Recently I ve started to question these 'symptoms' by going deep into myself and the answear I keep running into is that the trauma occured during my conception, when the egg from my mom didn t even want to transform into a baby and participate in life. From this point on, I have not a clue what should I do with this information or with my life in general. Going through life, I ve of course undergone the splitting process, and I ve ended up with parts which want to get this 3d life done rightly, want to be like everybody else, feel the same things people usually do, want to finally understand myself and my needs. I don't know how I can possibly integrate this prebirth part of mine (it s my most dominant part by the way) with all the other parts and with the world around me. Does anybody share this feelings and sensations? Is anybody there who does know how to deal with such stuff? Thank you in advance!
  23. 2 points
    The Summary of Days 90-120 of 365 'What Would Someone Who Loves Themselves Do?' The overall feeling of the first ten days of the month was a cycle between anger and fear. I feared my health getting worse and my neighbor effecting me I got angry and scared when they manifested. I watched a documentary about people with Chronic Fatigue and that further scared the crap out of me. I acknowledged my feelings, but attempting to put them in a more positive light, trying to convince you and myself that I'll do better did not make them go away. What it came down to was that I needed to let go. I spent the next few days as that as my focus letting these collected words by Meredith Miller sink in. Day 106 "You can control how you show up in every moment. You cannot control anything outside yourself. If you grew up in a narcissistic household, you were programmed into a negative paradigm of fear and doubt. In order to liberate yourself to create the life you actually want to live, you need to rewrite those scripts in your self talk." Become like a ninja stalking your thoughts shifting them to the positive." As part of accepting my current state and letting go I decided to stop holding onto people that didn't want to be in my life anymore, no sooner did I delete their contact information and online friendships did I realize that although I was respecting their wishes things weren't yet resolved within me. I decided to do Byron Katie's The Work on the process and what I learned really took self reflection to the next level I was able to see my side of the dynamic in relationships that I had never come close to seeing before. I embody both my parents and their coping mechanism so well. Before I was opening my eyes to my mother but the exercise allowed me to take responsibility for myself in a big way. For a while after that I was pretty triggered. I saw my mother even more clearly and was mad at my behavior and the fact I had learned it from her. I wanted to apologize, get my friends back and cacoon myself in a safe space. I taped paper over the lower half of my window so I didn't have to see the family home. I put all the narcissists and people that made me feel bad in separate facebook group while having the realization the people I was trying to please that made me feel most criticized were all family. Ultimately I blocked these people for my mental health so I could focus my energy on growth rather than how I felt judged. That was a big lesson in being honest with what was best for me, not the ideal picture on paper. The realization of Day 104 played an underlying theme throughout the month. "It's in the fighting that further wears you out making you a match suffering because in a sense you are constantly rejecting yourself and your body as not good enough." I fight myself daily, every time my blood sugar drops and I ignore it to continue what I'm doing often leading to my anger that I have to eat. Self rejection is replayed over and over in my posts as declarations to "fix" myself and keep trying. It's the reason I still haven't given my friend my apology letter. On Day 119 Alexandra Schwenn made a 30 minute video in response to my anger regarding my health. The message, be 100% unconditionally present with your discomfort, feel it, make space for it so it can resolve. Your body's feedback is a valuable gift alerting you of misalignment. "If we don’t love ourselves with all of our shit in spite of all of our shit, who will?"~AS This brings me to current day. It never ever never did occur to me to love what I consider imperfections. I'm forever constantly trying to "fix" myself proving my worth to the world even if it is subconscious. I do want change, but in that resistance is persistence in self rejection. I understand this but I don't know how to be with myself without fixing. I see with true self acceptance I can release self sabotage which would account for a great quality of life increase. It's funny how all my lessons keep circling back around to a deeper understanding like the swirls in a shell.
  24. 2 points
    What I want most for our future is a kind of world constitution; that humanity unites. Thank you. I thought the workers would become poor because they lost their jobs, not rich. But the demands of services will continue to exist! so if the workers can just adapt and control that then even when the way of service changes, they can still create income. However, the workers are unlikely to be the ones to invent the AI so when applying AI to any industry, the workers must deny the programmers taking everything, or deny the application of AI. Regarding AI, a physical structure can only become sophisticated, not conscious so I don't believe in that type of doomsday thinking. True.
  25. 2 points
    Day 117 of 365 'What Would Someone Who Loves Themselves Do?' While laying on my side in bed, I had my lamp on and was staring at the wall processing before sleep. Suddenly, a single small bright white light appeared in front of me and to my surprise didn't dissipate on direct eye contact, instead it slowly went up the wall up to the ceiling and over my head. It was a beautiful little light with a hint of a rainbow on the sides. Despite this, I freaked out, got the chills knowing full well I wasn't alone. I called my friend in Mexico instantly even though we don't talk on the phone. Luckily I was accepted and supported. It was nice. What was it? Earlier that day a friend told me her grandfather had passed and I couldn't help but sympathize with her deeply. I told her the story of when mine had departed while I was in the Army. It was winter then and the ground was frozen in Alaska and luckily I released and able to attend the burial in the spring. It was an honor to solute him during taps to recognize his service in the Navy. This came up in the context of suppressed emotions and only during that solute was I able to cry all those months later. I'd like to think it was my grandfather saying hello in passing as he looks over my grandmother in the next house some 100 feet away. Maybe it was another being. Human or not, there was a direct effort for me to see them and I feel a little flattered. What do you think this was? Has anything similar happened to you?
  26. 2 points
    The sacrifice of Christ was not his death but his life, that a very expanded enlightened consciousnes chose to exist in the limitations of a human body, leaving behind a state of unimaginable bliss. In order to be alive in a human body Christ will have had to integrate the genetically inherited shadows of that body, i.e. he took on the sins, but in a totally conscious way. I really suspect that the crucifixion was by no means the most unpleasant part of his life. And for why? It surely was of no direct benefit to Christ himself. You need to ask yourself the question. "What feeling would a being have to have in order to do such a thing to itself?" In other words the defining characteristic of Christ consciousness is not a state of enlightenment but a very particular state of feeling. You could be the most unenlightened person imaginable but if you have the right feeling you would embody Christ consciousness. I'm not saying the 2 states are mutually exclusive though, when enlightenment and Christ consciousness meet a bodhisattva is made.
  27. 2 points
    I had planned to go skiing that weekend. Teal and I love to ski together and to be frank; there are not too many fun options for things to do besides skiing in Park City in the wintertime. That morning, quite out of character, Teal did not really act excited about it. I am a very flexible person, until I have a plan at which point I become unyielding. We were running late because I had a couple of unexpected and expected calls. The last one was a Skype with my children in the office. Blake happened to be in the room. When Blake Came to San Francisco to help me move to Utah, he actually met my children. They liked each other enough to play together while he was there and so, I figured they might want to say hi to him over Skype. So I say “Guess who is here with me?” They instantly freaked out and with wide eyes, started to look for the fastest way to escape from in front of the computer screen. They began saying “oh no, no, no”, terrorized that it may be Teal I was going to show them over the Skype screen. When they saw Blake instead, they were relieved. Though my children have never met Teal in person or online (and now, as a result of the mayhem of the last court case, it is illegal for me to introduce them to each other), my ex wife has shared with them the negative web content created by Teal’s haters. Teal has been portrayed as an evil witch who seduced and brain washed me away from their mum. The problem with being in a relationship with an extrasensory is that it is nearly impossible to shield them. Teal felt what had occurred in the office from the kitchen and was affected by it. When you see Teal on stage, she appears to be this powerful confident spiritual teacher that lives in her bliss all day long, above all human struggles. People do not realize how much she is affected by other people’s opinions about her. She came to this world completely open, without filters. This is great when it comes to perceiving subtle dimensions. However, it is very painful when people in the physical dimension project hatred towards her. My personal situation is especially hard for her because my children have been taught to hate her. She feels trapped by the situation often. So, as a result of the discord on this particular day, she was upset and quickly went upstairs. Graciela (who is the most attuned to Teal) had a feeling that something may be wrong. I quickly went upstairs to find that Teal had fainted in the meditation room. I took her in my arms. I was not overly worried, because I was familiar with this type of situation. She opened her eyes and I realized that she was in the midst of another spontaneous channeling. My principal guide, Ezekiel had come to visit. I asked him questions about some of the challenges that I am faced with in my life. At a certain point in the channeling, Ezekiel told me that I was a match to a ski accident and that he had to come through to ensure we would not go skiing on that day. He informed me that I had missed all the signs presented to me that morning that were meant to send me the message to change my plans. And so is life with my beloved Teal J I created a post recently on Teal Tribe to see if anyone was interested to know about Teal and her personal life from someone who shares the most intimacy and time with her. The response was overwhelming as so many people are curious to know more about “The Spiritual Catalyst”. Teal is not an ordinary woman by any means and this is why she is so fascinating and generates so much passion around her, both positive and negative. People just cannot wrap their head around this extraordinary woman. As a result, some have a tendency to idolize her to the point of making her the new messiah while other dedicate their lives to destroy her reputation and pollute her life thinking she is the devil incarnated. While Teal is a complex woman, it is not impossible to understand who she is and have a balanced attitude towards her. This is one of my goals for this blog and I hope to make it interesting, entertaining and thought provoking. Of course, this will be a summary of my observations, insights and thoughts corresponding to my present understanding. I do not pretend to hold the truth but I commit to the readers to be as authentic and sincere as possible. I have a pretty intense work schedule so I would like to apologize in advance for my infrequent blog activity in advance. Authenticity is not new to me. I fully agree with Wayne Dyer’s statement “There is always a spiritual answer to any of life’s challenges”. Since my early twenties, I have gained a lot by openly sharing my struggles with people as it helped me to see my own reflection. Again and again I have experienced it guiding me to peace, clarity or a course of action towards resolution. Also, openly sharing my own struggles and the wisdom coming from these challenges have helped many of my friends in their own journey. Authenticity is the key common value of Teal Tribers. I was able to witness it when I created the Silicon Valley Teal Tribe 18 months ago (Julia and Diane have since taken it over since my departure to Utah). After a couple of months, I witnessed some incredibly strong connections developing between members. Some have even formed deeper bonds than they have with their own family connections. Under the guidance of Teal’s completion process, they felt safe to share their deepest fears, traumas and struggles and I observed some remarkable healing as a result. For the longest time in our spiritual development, the path of awakening is not about phenomenal activities but straightforward emotional healing, and authenticity is a critical part of this process. As long as we continue to identify with our masks and hide who we truly are, our growth will be greatly reduced. In the same way that darkness is the absence of light, our tendency to manipulate, hide our struggles or keep our flaws secret, our ego becomes rigid and prevents the light of consciousness from transforming our being. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and imagine a world fully committed to authenticity. It would change everything. How would politics, economics, education, family structures, agriculture, the justice system, health care and the corporate world affected by authenticity. I will let you ponder on this. This blog is my personal and humble attempt to contribute to this movement. As I reviewed everyone’s questions, I was able to combine readers’ interest into multiple categories: Teal’s struggles Teal’s parenting with her son, Winter Living in Teal’s intentional community Details about Teal’s healthy lifestyle Love, Sex & Intimate Relationship Life with an extra-sensory Window into our daily life When I am able to find some spare time, I will make each topic its own blog and by doing so, I will help to demystify The Spiritual Catalyst. Through this process, I hope that you will find the real Teal Swan even more relatable, understandable, lovable, adorable, powerful, endearing and likeable than the one you know from the videos and blogs. This has been my personal experience as my love keeps growing as I get to better know this multi-dimensional phenomenal woman everyday. I feel so blessed to share my life with Teal every day. A fan told me once that I was the luckiest bastard on this planet and in my opinion, he is completely right. I know that she does not belong only to me but she belongs to all of you too. This blog is an attempt to share her with you and through this process bring you courage, healing, guidance, peace and inner growth.
  28. 1 point
    You've basically highlighted the core mechanics of the process. Essentially, if something exists as a thought, it exists as a whole. If someone tells you something or if you discover it for yourself, an idea, concept or observation will leave an imprint. Once you are aware of something, it's now planted in your conscious or subconscious, not just as a form of memory bur form of establishment by observation. "It's there and now it exists." Someone or something makes you aware of the Law of Attraction, it is now embedded as a form of established construct, regardless if you believe or disprove of it. Your consciousness is now like "ok I've seen it" so now it would be difficult to 'un'see it. It's now formatted as part of your cognitive integral. I.e. it is now a source for you consciousness, basically as inspiration for how reality can be seen, altered, changed, or a reference point. If you forget everything you ever knew or were ever told about LoA or any so called "law" or stipulation, you could see that it essentially feeds off you observational perception, and now because of this, your consciousness is rewiring it's reality, typically in a subconscious way to integrate this new form of inspiration. Basically using the particulars of cognitive indoctrination as a template mechanism. This also feeds back into the collective consciousness. The more people made aware of something in a particular way, the more it will manifest itself in that function because they're feeding energy to mold into it, creating a snowball effect. The more it will make sense, the more evidence it creates, the more objective it will become.
  29. 1 point
    My 2nd Sculpture - The Beckoning:) Just completed yesterday. 43.5" tall, 65 lbs. Painted clay on steel armature.
  30. 1 point
    It is very-very seldom that friends and/or couples can work together without stepping on each other's toes. Besides that, many people tend to take jobs that they really don't want, so that adds more to the problem and creates conflict of interests. Mutual interests are one of the best bases for any long-term relationships. It would be great if it's work related, but how many of you had success with that? Not, unless you are able to stick with that. The same goes for anything you are able to do outside the work place. @kimboisvert what else do you like doing besides work? Where do you like going? A few months ago I got a gym membership and met potential girls I could hang out with while taking classes there. Unfortunately I didn't know the instructor was only temperary, so the relationships progressed to nowhere as the result, but I might have more luck in the future.
  31. 1 point
    I think the idea of justice comes from humanity's largely subconscious perception of and attempt to copy on a personal and societal level the Law of Attraction. E.g. if a person murders someone it is considered to be justice that they attract the same fate and be executed (i.e. murdered). Like idiot children, people are unthinkingly copying what they dimly perceive is a universal good. Personally, I can think of no worse punishment than true rehabilitation for a criminal That is to say their consciousness healed and vibration raised so that they know exactly what they were and what they have done. Come to think of it that would still be Law of Attraction, just with a bit more thought put into it.
  32. 1 point
    That you think there's something else you should be doing sounds very positive; if you feel very strongly about that, then it might be the right way to go for you. Only you can really tell, in the end. Having something you *want* to put your energies into is a great pathway to finding happiness and meaning. I know very well about sinking all your efforts into jobs that have no personal relevance, what kind of drain that becomes. I would definately advise caution though. I've quit jobs without having anything else to go to, and it didn't go to plan. Be sure that you can self-motivate, that what you have is something solid you can really work on, do and sink yourself into. Working alone takes a lot more energy than working for other people, but like everyone always says; if it's something you're going to actually enjoy doing, then it won't be draining to be working on it all the time. When I left my job and started working on my 'big project' (a farm), it turned out for me that I had no structure to it, no plans, and I quickly lost motivation and inertia, as I didn't really have the direction, tools, capital, resources or hard skills I needed to make it become a real 'job' I could live off. I hadn't done any prep work. If you really want to leave your job, definately, persue that. A general rule for life I would recommend to anyone is to 'never plan around doing something you hate forever' (shit, I just got a promotion and I'm still applying for other jobs in different industries; like I said, I know what kind of drain jobs you feel nothing for become). Just make sure you've done your preparations and laid out the planning you'll need for it to become more than just a big idea. I think Garnet's onto a good tact there; before quitting, use your free time to do that prep work, there's no need to wait until you have total free time avaliable to get started on it. Do you think it would be possible to do a little bit of whatever it is in your free time? There's no better way to know how something will go than to try it; if you have the option to try a little bit before taking on the whole lot, I say go for it. If you love doing it, your life will start arranging itself around it once you'ver gotten underway in it. If you can make the transition smooth, all the better. Just remember; life is long, most things don't happen quickly. Do the prep work, know what you're going to do, don't let yourself get disheartened if things don't go right at first. Don't be scared of failure. Failure is normal, it's the greatest teacher in life anyone could ever have, and (barring death, but well, even that's pretty debatable) it is always temporary. Changing direction is almost never easy, but it's always worth doing in the long run.
  33. 1 point
    Day 132 of 365 'What Would Someone Who Loves Themselves Do?' I fell into Youtube ingesting the stories of other raw vegans on a high fruit diet. They are all thin and thriving happily posting from a place of inspiration. The most beautiful woman talked about her pitfalls with raw revealing the exact struggles I am having. Although she started to feel better immediately dropping 20 lbs, needing less sleep and having more energy, her food story could have been mine. 1. Make sure you eat enough calories. On a high fruit raw diet even 1600 isn't regularly enough to begin with. Today I opened my Chronometer app and finished my day at 1500 calories and that's eating every 2 hours. This is an expensive diet and it's costing me about $600 a month to pull it off in Alaska. I was really trying to stay at $100 a week, but that's my experience of a recipe for failure. 2. Salt makes you want fat and fat makes you want salt and once you have a taste, the cravings begin. Then comes the small allowance you give yourself which almost certainly allows for more the next day. That's been my story for sure. This girl even talked about binging on salted avocados which I report as being a tastebud orgy. 3. Pay attention to your Macros 80% fruit 10% fat and 10% protein. Eating all fruit this ratio will happen automatically. 4. A word on Alcohol, white wine can be raw but it relaxes you along with your dedication in addition to making you hungry. For a newbie this is a binge waiting to happen. I trust her on that because her willpower although very strong played out exactly to my experiences. Listening to the Texas Fruitarian interview The Raw Outlaw made me feel less of a failure and more like this is a learning journey. In fact I feel so ok and without resistance where I'm at that I almost forgot to write.
  34. 1 point
    I dont know. I think suppressing and controlling feelings or disconnecting from them, is fragmentation. Aspects you can switch between at will are probably protector parts. So there must be some splits. The question is how aware you are about these aspects you switch away from and what do they need. So why is there a need to change feelings and aspects and which feelings and parts are left behind. I mean its a good question... i dont know the answere.
  35. 1 point
  36. 1 point
    Owning People and Taking ownership of your relationships involves a different look at possession and ownership in general. Owning People and ‘To Own’ has a general negative connotation yet the opposite of this has really been damaging our society and relationships. Teal Swan explains in this Ask Teal episode how to own people in the right way. Teal Swan is an International Spiritual Leader. She offers perspective on a wide range of topics including relationships, anxiety, meditation, shadow work, authenticity, the law of attraction, The Completion Process, healing, PTSD, emotions and spirituality Website: www.tealswan.com For daily updates, monthly online Synchronization Workshops join TealSwan.com/premium Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thespiritualcatalyst/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tealspiritualcatalyst/?hl=en Twitter: TEALCATALYST Newsletter: https://tealswan.com/newsletter Completion Process Book: https://thecompletionprocess.com/#the-book Teal's Meditations: https://gumroad.com/tealswan Teal's e-shop: tealswan.com/teals-products Beginning Song: Kuan Yin's Mantra (c) 2002 Lisa Thiel Help us caption & translate this video! http://amara.org/v/9Hq9/
  37. 1 point
    I absolutely believe that there is an objective reality. The proposition “there is an apple sitting on the table” is true if and only if there is an apple sitting on the table. Nobody needs to see the apple for it to be true. Reality exists and it is objective. However, we also have these subconscious minds and our subconscious minds affect our conscious thought WAY more than we realize or care to admit. Not for things like “is the apple sitting on the table?” But for things like “a man’s place is to be the bread winner and the woman’s place is to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen” (I do not believe that, btw). Our subconscious minds affect us for something like: A: in general, we need to be on guard because for the most part people are evil and we have to protect ourselves from their harm. Anyone who seems nice is just out to fool you or get something from you. versus B: in general, we can trust each other because for the most part people are pretty decent. Anyone who seems evil for some reason has lost his or her way.
  38. 1 point
    So the end result of revenge is peace and healing to the victim... or at least that' what the victim things revenge accomplishes. ... it seems like to reform the justice system it has to be coupled with victims services as well... that genuine healing won' be accompplished though revenge but through counseling of some sort in how to deal with the crime in a positive direction. ... it all comes down to money. How can it be cheaper for government on both ends... for the perpetrator rehabilitation, and the victims healing.
  39. 1 point
    How to propose to my girlfriend abroad? I have been thinking of proposing to my girlfriend, the only problem is she’s in the Philippines. I met her through an international dating social event, we started corresponding and we really hit it off. It’s been a year now and we’ve met 3 times. I do feel that it’s the right time. I would love to marry her and have her here with me. I know most of you would say that I should come to her and propose... but my business is keeping me busy and traveling just for the weekend is not worth the expense. Is it really not advisable to propose to her through Skype? I know it’s a question most of you would say “obviously!” Most of you would probably advice me to just wait until I have free time to travel. But I have a plan… I plan to propose to her through a Skype video call and then have her apply for a fiance visa so she can come here soon. To be honest, I have yet to learn the requirements and regulations for visa application, if I am required to be in the Philippines with her when she applies then I will wait until I have free time to propose to her face to face. But if it’s not required, I would love to expedite things so I can have her here with me. The sooner the better! If we go about that route, I plan to propose to her again… properly and romantically when she gets here. What do you guys think? Will it be alright or will it be a bad move? I need advice!!!
  40. 1 point
    I get anxious. Its the suck in headlights feeling when a deadline is approaching. Something I really don't want to do. Feel I have to do. And so feel 'frozen'. <<<<<------ One Part | Other part ------>>>>>>>> Nothing to do with time management for me, though time management can help negotiate with myself lol. Can be self doubt, trying something new. If all of me wanted to be doing the thing that has a deadline, it'd already be done. It's summed up best in the following phrase: I don't want to be doing this. I have to be doing this. Not sure if its exactly the same for him, some people go their whole lives without realising the simple truth that part of them hates what they are doing right now. So they will always feel that anxiety at forcing it. At that point you've got the choice to find someone else to do it, who is skilled and feels good doing that task. Or you can live with the anxiety and how crap you feel. Or you can not do it, whatever it was. OR you can be the part of you that hates doing it, and be that for a while, until you are back in your 'working self'. Because sometimes you've just got to get out of the chair and go do something else, which sucks with how most companies structure their days 9-5. Rather than 5am-10pm and a set amount of flexible timed hours they expect from you. But we only have so many productive hours on a particular task. And no matter how much I try. Some times I am not in the mood at all, and other times complicated tasks fly by, with no effort. That's just because a different part of me is in the driving seat.
  41. 1 point
    What exactly he has to achieve when you are saying time crunches or panic due to time? When the person is not competent enough or not an artist in his profession then surely he will feel burden of the quality of work and time as well. Its a double trouble. If he seriously wishes to be multi tasker then he needs to become an artist or at least unconciously competent enough to do the work confidently. Please ask him which areas of his profession gives him panic and sort out the critical areas and give him training or give it up if he has no confidence in that area
  42. 1 point
  43. 1 point
    I like it. It's good to remember that all of our emotions are there for a reason. Not to deny or avoid them, since after all, you ideally wouldn't dismiss/repress/avoid another person's discomfort or uncertainty if they came to you with it, so why avoid your own? It's always there for a reason, it's better to engage with it than run from it.
  44. 1 point
    If what VoidPhilosopher said is true then any comments we've posted from the day after up until this point he wouldn't be able to answer to. As unfortunate as this is, as I'm interested in the answers to many of these questions.
  45. 1 point
    Pictures of today not each year we capable to enjoy white winter, yesterday afternoon was snow storm overnight added another 5 cm that's a lot in uk
  46. 1 point
    Day 118 of 365 'What Would Someone Who Loves Themselves Do?' Look Within to Build Your Sacred Space. Yesterday I was contemplating big time about how I can feel safe to express myself while having to live in a close proximity to family. Days before I had decided to put people who made me feel criticized and less apt to express myself in a group on Facebook called 'Safe' allowing me to post for all except them. Saying things publicly on my wall has required a lot of thought from me. I don't want to waste your time with a meme, even though they often cheer me up. I don't say things authentically me, because I don't want to hear the snide remarks of my family or imagine them snickering behind my back. Essentially, there is always a filter in my my mind. Even when it's a simple as liking something. I then wonder who else's feed my comment will pop up in and again, I wanted to remain invisible to some while not annoying others. I felt good about making the group, but what I found was it wasn't enough. I posted something small a couple days ago and I triple checked who it was shared with, and imagined multiple scenarios of my defense if someone in the family, or my mother had seen it. What I realized was I had always auto piloted a lot of effort in this self protection. A recent book I read on healing from narcissism states that no contact is how you gain your strength and heal. I passed this off as well, that's for you not me. I clung to the idea that I needed to put my big girl pants on being authentic with who I am in my growth process. I could be friends with all my family because I do love them very much and I want to be strong enough to see the real me. That's a really nice sentiment maybe for when I am confident in myself with firm boundaries, and no longer in a situation with constant mind games and jabs at my self esteem. That's for a time where being self assured won't land me homeless in Alaska without an income. The author likened abuse to an analogy; it's like the buzzing of a refrigerator, you don't always notice it until it stops and you take a deep breath of relief. Since moving is not currently an option, I need to take some time out of mental environment to rejuvenate and freely express myself while bonding with my friends however that comes about. Take a break from the constant hum and exposure to electromagnetic stress. So, after a couple days and a couple of solid active hours contemplating with the names from my list, I worked up the strength to block immediate family members and their spouses. My mom was the hardest one to let go. I was able to do it knowing that Facebook doesn't have to be the definitive accumulation of the people in my life. I can still love her, call her, or share pictures with her long after I move away. This is what is best for me now. The difficulty came because I was focused on lack; what I was loosing instead of gaining. With that final key stroke I felt a sense of silence when I reflected on my profile. It was like a blank canvas of inspiration that enhanced as the time passed. I felt good for having the courage to be honest with my needs, creating another self loving boundary, just as I had days prior by blocking off the lower portion of my window so I didn't have to stare at the family house all day. Two hums negated. I feel more free to focus on whats nurturing along side my crystals, candles and valued friends in my own self created sacred space. Picture is not mine, but the warmth and the cozy mood resonates.
  47. 1 point
    Fungal skin issues Hello guys! Is there someone who managed to get rid from Tinea versicolor, or maybe other fungal skin infection permanently? I suffer with it already for 6+ years. During this years every several months i start seeing a lot of white spots on my body, i treat it and they disappear for next several months, and then everything starts again. It is never ending cycle. Before i treated it with shampoo that contained ketoconazole but i don't want to use any chemicals on my body, now i switched to tea tree oil that helps to make them disappear even better. Now i am trying to treat it with combination of green tea and tea tree oil, because i heard that green tea actually is one of the best cures for fungal infections. My diet is vegan and is super clean, since eating this way i feel much better but it didn't help to cure this skin issue. My problem is that even though when i treat tinea versicolor it always dissapears, after several months it always comes back. I hate this. I am so tired of fighting it. When it comes back it is all over my face, chest and back.I literally go to sleep without any white spot and the next day i wake up and see lots of them and it gets worse and worse if i don't treat them. It scares me when i look at myself in the mirror and of course it makes me feel a lot of shame. I think that this fungus is always coming back because it wants to remind me of this aspect of myself that feels ashamed and unwanted and is full of insecurities. I tend to run away from it and want to do everything that prevent's me of feeling that way. I think i should do a completion process to meet the unmet needs of this aspect of me instead of just running away from it as i always do. When i was kid i was always made feel that something is super wrong with me. I felt abandoned by my parents because i am not good enough to deserve being with them, i was bullied at school by my classmates and always disapproved by teachers. I was always told that i am ugly and stupid. I grew up in a person that suffers from perfectionism and lives only for people's approval, desperately trying to prevent myself from experiencing those feelings of my childhood. I am obsessed with controlling everything, and this fungal infection is out of my control and this is freaking me out, i feel like i can not do anything about it and i am left here alone in shame. I feel like so much internal work has to be done here. If you have or had similar issues feel free to share how you feel and your story.
  48. 1 point
    @MistaRender Thanks for the explanation of the wonderful (and somewhat disturbing, dreadful) and delightful works of H. P. Lovecraft. I'm great, thanks, how are you? @Done Now I lean more towards a variable in the mix, so not the true deciding factor. I'm not sure how much weight technology will play, but then again, as you know technology are tools we use, they are as such just extensions - like the saying 'guns don't kill people, people do'. Then again, I'm just throwing guesses here, my only basis for them is my personal interest in technology, and my education as a digtial designer. I had to look up boom-bust cycle, now the rest makes perfect sense. I believe AI (again my biggest concern, and not in the sense of Skynet (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skynet_(Terminator))) is the next big revolution similar to that of the internet, it just won't happen quite as fast as the internet (I think). It will change the way we think about jobs and making a living, as most jobs will be taken by AI. Now if we don't resturcture our society to this change and take measures to secure (at least) a close to equal distribution of resources, those that own the jobs now taken by AI, will make all the money. Naturally things may eventually become cheaper, but those without jobs won't be able to buy much, in that sense we get a major bust, possibly even a depression. There is a chance though, that new kinds of jobs will appear, just as it happened during the industrialism (farmers losing jobs, becoming factory workers or yoga instructors), but as it was during the industrialism, it's close to impossible to imagine what those jobs will be (we can't all be programming and servicing the AI - they'll probably handle that semselves as well). I know for a fact that many school system are begining to adapt to this change, by introducing what they call the 21st century skills. This means that they teach soft skills (team work, innovation, critical thinking etc.) to the next generations rather than hard skills (math, physics, culture etc.), as the next generation won't be able to compete with AI, with just hard skills on their repetoir. Deep down I think we'll be alright, but I think we're going to face some tough times first. @Scot I believe Michael Newton covers some of those colours in one of his books about the journey of the soul (Journey of Souls - https://www.newtoninstitute.org/books/journey-of-souls-dr-michael-newton-1994/). In the books, the souls describe how their energy changes colour based on how far they are in their development. I think their description fits quite well with the chart you linked to.
  49. 1 point
    Gosh... very sorry to hear you are going through this. As a woman I completely understand . Yes. Thinning hair is a problem. Do not give up! Fight for your hair as much as you can so you have less regrets later. Personally I don't have this problem but I do have thin hair. I am jealous sometimes when looking at different hairstyles (like braided ones) because i don't even have a half of the "material " for that, lol I get anxious and might yell if my hair gets trapped or accidently pulled too quick . Have to learn to hold it when getting into the car and not to close my hair with the door. If you have long hair like I am, beware of the wind.... because this is how the hair can get where they are not suppose to which can contribute to the overal hair loss. So instead of focusing on the amount of hair I choose to focus on the quality of it. The health of my hair. Also I know I can always use extensions if I have to. How is the overal health of your hair? Are they soft and shiny?
  50. 1 point
    I like the work of Trevor James Constable who extended the work of Wilhelm Reich and developed practical applications for orgone energy in weather engineering. Particularly fascinating is his discovery of what he calls sky critters which are energetic organisms sometimes mistaken for alien spacecraft. I would highly recommend his book Cosmic Pulse of Life, if anyone's interested in that sort of thing.