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Showing content with the highest reputation since 01/22/17 in all areas

  1. 8 points
    I did something that I'm proud of ^-^ Hey! I just wanted to share something with you all... Lately, the universe began giving me very strong signs, about a decision I needed to make. I honestly have been quite logical in the past about a lot of things. This, in many ways, was basically a decision that didn't really make any logical sense to me and it was a really difficult decision to make. But, I kind of had to have a moment where I was like, "You've been doing this spiritual bullshit for how many years now? Why do you not trust the universe?" So, I took a step in the dark, and decided to just go with it anyways. I don't really know why I'm making this decision, but it's just a very strong notion, one that I feel inspired to follow. I'm not even remotely sure how this will pan out, and I honestly feel a mix of sadness at the ending of a season, and curiosity of what might be right now. But it is okay. I am going to make a choice, and that choice is to trust. And I guess, I'm just posting this, to get a little bit of encouragement. I'm going to need it. I'm afraid. Terrified, even. It's a big pool of unknown out there. But I just really hope the best for this decision. and I also would love to hear if you have any similar stories, of trusting the universe despite convenience, despite comfort... Or sharing what you're proud of, too, I just want to connect with whoever else wants to . yeah! Peace
  2. 6 points
    Oh dear Teal, this post is sooo beautiful! It makes me feel in awe, gratitude and thrilled all at the same time <3 Through your magnificent description I was able to sense the smell of the ripe mangoes (It is one of my favorite fruits!) and feel the energy of the trees and other vegetation. It really seems like a dreamy place. I love your idea for a second retreat center, dedicated to calm and soothing feelings I share the same idea about the world: my main desire is that human societies on Earth would become based on love, emotional connection with self and "others", emotional intelligence, respect for all life and that we all could live in communities that are safe, empowering in the best of ways, happy, healthy, thriving!!!! In the past people called me utopist , but I still feel it is possible. Actually I deeply feel it is the future of humans and sometimes I dream about it (very green, flourishing places and fearless and happy people communicating by telepathy) I am truly grateful for the reminder that it is possible, that the feeling of not belonging and urgency to co-create a better world is not wrong or pathetic... Much love to you and the community <3 <3 <3
  3. 6 points
    I'm deeply touched by every word you said. I recognize everything and I felt deep shame about how I behave to other people sometimes in my life. Your authenticity in this post goes through every cell of my body. I'm deeply gratefull you share this without a mask on. I've had similar experiences during my ayahuasca journeys, dark nights of the soul, but it seems I fall back easily into old patterns when being back home. Thank you Teal for reminding me of my weaknesses and selfish behaviour, I didn't cry for a long time. I realise how I'm constantly trying to run away from my own pain. I feel I could share many more words but I'm gonna rest in silence and leave with grattitude for this wake up call. Louis
  4. 6 points
    Thank you, Teal. I can't believe how much of myself I saw in this. I discovered your material just after my own dip into Ayahuasca a few years ago. It was an experience of pure torture and anguish. The only light I can extract from it is that I found your teachings shortly after. It helps me to read this because I still feel traumatized by that dark experience. It was the first time I realized that whatever my problems were, they were much bigger than my denial was letting me see. Now I am at least 50% recovered from the PTSD that I've only just discovered I had/have, and it's almost entirely thanks to studying your material. All your ideas here hit me very hard because it's all the stuff that's on my mind recently... thoughts, feelings, interaction with the quantum field, positive focus, the future, hurting people with honesty, etc. This post will feed me for a long time.
  5. 6 points
    OMG thank you for sharing! I cried so much while reading this. I just wrote about feeling quantum energies the other day and recognizing they do not belong to us. <3 Welcome to the next level Teal. The level of emotional freedom! <3 Thank you for everything you do!
  6. 5 points
    What worked for me was actually leaving the house. This sounds so easy but for some is not. Small steps work well . Go out for dinner , shop two or three times per week so that you are out in public more. Many a man has met a woman at the supermarket. The best advice is , be yourself. Just remember , the woman of your dreams is not likely to just knock on your door, but you just may meet her at the bus stop ! A higher vibration will attract at the best of times.
  7. 5 points
    Hi everyone, I just wanted to express my gratitude to everyone who has replied to my topic. Thank you all for being there for me and supporting me on this forum. It means a lot. Well, I have experienced my last day of high school, which is a huge relief. Now I am facing the uncertainty of the future, and, of course, the antagonism of my parents, whom I am working to distance myself from. Thank you guys again for giving me the opportunity to express myself fully and completely, and to be completely myself for the first time in years. I love you all. Rosalie
  8. 5 points
    After a short break you come in with such a powerful blog. Thank you so much for this authenticity. You are such a great teacher because despite knowing a lot, you're still willing to evolve and learn and look at yourself objectively. That's why I can trust you more than your haters, since that is something your haters can't do. I think you will manage being alone with your pain, because YOU being with your pain is the best thing that could've ever happened to your pain. LY
  9. 4 points
    The nice thing is that if you are at a certain vibration you are only a match to that vibration, the negative is that when you are at a certain vibration you are only a match to that vibration. I am sensitive so on really bad days I hope I don't see anything crazy because that's what I'm focusing on, so I would rather stay home. if I'm focusing on humans are the worst that's all I see, I'm like why are they more animal than loving? why do people not know how to love? outside of their race and species, why? I see it, so its happening, why is everyone unconscious? why do people think perfection is normal and they attack any little flaw someone has in the real world, oh that's right tv and porn, brainwashing... I get low because I have to live here and put on my façade, and hear people say I love you knowing it isn't the real thing. death is a trip lol its just a dmt trip and then you leave this meat body and go back home or your soul didn't experience what it wanted so it does it again, not out of punishment, a soul is a group not a individual soul, so you have lives right now, there are other yours in the world right now, you can even be a tree, animal, whatever, a soul is a group. a lot of the older generations cant understand the new because they are more sensitive and the old is still in the old paradigm of religion and my dad beat me and look how I ended up mentality, and the kids are supposed to teach the adults not the other way around lol. because I love people by default and when i was a kid i didn't get the same back, so I didn't like who I was because people didn't know how to love, so I'm like shit I'm unlovable, something is wrong with me, but people just don't know how to love! yes everyone is capable of it, but they don't know how. so when I finally did feel love, it made me cry because my inner child just got told something is wrong with you all the fucking time so it was painful at first to feel love. it is our default state, and I came down here to learn about love because I got the opposite. it took a while to get it from the inside, but it was worth it, I can't believe I said that. Now that i have this love from inside and my ego isn't in control I'll give you the perspective of that. When you see kids playing that is just higher selves in the flesh not suppressed, and you start to see everyone this way, so age means nothing, everyone is a child which is the real them, you see this potential in people. Because you are now whole again and complete you love yourself and you can actually see your twin flame (same soul as you) or people who have also reached this state and only they are attractive to you, so your higher self just filters everyone out that isn't compatible with you, none of this karmic relationship, then soul mate, then twin flame, no you are only a match to twin flames lol, so that's cool, soul mates aren't bad, its just if the real thing exists I want the real thing, the top. You don't need love from the outside, its already on in you so you wouldn't even get jealous, if its a twin flame they can filter out these people that aren't compatible with them too, which is most people, being attracted to people becomes rare, its like source in a body trying to find other sources in a body, people actually with that perspective, and your higher self can pick up on that, your higher self picks, not the ego. life doesn't have to be scary, people disconnected from their higher self makes it scary lol. This spiritual stuff is real by the way, but if you are around a bunch of atheists or people who believe is psychology with all of that outdated information they will be judging you through the filter of you're crazy, so you think you are crazy, when you can just pick up on their "truth" which is subjective, it doesn't have to be your truth. Some people will not understand this stuff, people hate being wrong and the ego is strong, so let people believe what they want, but know that isn't the truth even if it is coming from your parents or a doctor, those are limiting perspective, I wouldn't expect everyone to get it, some feel comfortable in 3d, so let them stay there.
  10. 4 points
    Unable to Connect I have been dealing with this problem for awhile now but I no longer feel connected to anyone. I was always one to be with friends and form close relationships but it feels like my ability to do that is gone. I just don't feel good about myself anymore. I don't even feel a connection to my family members and people I have known my whole life. When I'm around other people I feel more isolated and extremely awkward. The amount of discomfort I feel around other people has pushed them away & pushes me to just isolate more.I don't know what I need to feel better. and I am unsure how to move forward
  11. 4 points
    @Damon is Awesome @Stephanie Wintermute @Micah @Michael Rogers
  12. 4 points
    I just found this AMAZING video that basically expresses everything I feel about school except more eloquently. You should definitely check it out. I love this guy.
  13. 4 points
    Meet lots of women. With just the intent of meeting them, no hidden agenda. If you are heavily into porn ditch it, that'll help with the no agenda part, it'll up your natural drive to get out there, and it'll help your view of the opposite sex return to normal, not a sensationalised version. People can feel your intent toward them. If its porn based, this makes the initial connection a lot harder with many people (not all). I am not saying porn is bad, or sex is bad, I am saying if you go into dating as yourself, without all the triggers and perspectives porn encourages it'll be easier and more natural to interact with a wider variety of people. I am finding again the attraction is more natural when it happens. Rejection and dismissal is okay, nothing wrong with it at all. Its a natural way to distance yourself. So when you get turned down, shrug, smile and that's okay. A lot of times, you carrying the masculine energy, have to instigate the first move, or at least demonstrate interest in going in that direction with a girl. Not always. There are no 'always' about relationships, just general advice. I live in the countryside. Yes distance relationships are possible. Some people make it work. You have to get creative, and there are many ways to shorten the distance, like phone a flower shop in her town. The cost of delivering them then is exactly the same. And a little tip, surprise is your biggest advantage when you are distant. It depends on the girl of course for a quiet or loud surprise, or what it is. For example have a small serenade or quartet (whatever music she likes) turn up at her door for no reason other than you wanted to let her know you were thinking about her. Some personal advice next. My last few have been distance. I was however going into a relationship to complete myself, to fill a hole in myself. I'm not making that out to be wrong, but I am saying once that gap is filled the relationship may end. The next relationship won't be a case of I feel X (depressed, lonely, sad, frustrated, trapped, powerless) so I need a relationship. Because those feelings are okay, they are an accepted and loved part of me now. It won't be, what in this person can I fix, heal or help either because that focus is not seeing the person, its seeing what I can do for the person. Which naturally ends when its done. Next time it'll be, I am enough. If I meet another person who is also enough. Who sees into me and lets me see into them. Who relates, who wants to relate, who feels good about relating. Meaning any change in ourselves becomes a byproduct of being together, not the focus of the relationship itself. Because we are already complete. I hope some of that helps.
  14. 4 points
    That sounds like going back to the daily practise of focussing on the breath: meditate on silence. Big, Brutal, Beautiful Story! Thank you for sharing
  15. 4 points
    It could be like Mark said a shift forward to new relationships. Disconnecting can also be a symptom of a deeper issue.
  16. 4 points
    My first inclination is to say, there is a freedom in not being tightly connected to people, meaning if you wanted to make a radical change in your life, you wouldn't be having to disappoint somebody to make that change. In a way, perhaps, this is what your soul is preparing you to do! Which is extremely exciting, frustrating, and scary all at the same time. But in re-reading what you wrote, and in your asking for some practical advice on how to move forward, Hand Write some letters to the people you most care about. Tell them what's up and that you miss them.... I'm sorry you feel this way,,, Do poems make you feel better? Fleeting streams of light. The black night purrs its silence. A glass lake, secluded and surrounded by wooded hills, meditates. You float in the sky above as the bright crystal clear crescent moon. Your beauty grasps imaginations. Imaginations that believe an entangle lovers’ soft kiss can heal tender wounds of the soul. Only the lonely can think average thoughts reflecting back at them in the mirror. But look into your mirror, the lake. Your crescent radiance is full of splendor. Your feminine love fills the whole universe. Your Mystery, Endless. Shooting stars seem so random. But they are not. Just as Destiny ordains dark nights upon us all, Destiny sends fleeting streams of light to remind us. Though you may miss the message - Your lonely tears are not alone.
  17. 4 points
    Christ consciousness. I still haven't eaten and my higher self is constantly on, its so easy to get answers, when I dry fast its almost like your consciousness and the reality out side of you blend together and you do feel love, this unconditional love, so the highest foods would be fruit juice, but love is higher than that, so your body can live off just that vibration and it ripples off of you into your body. your body does go to its natural state, my body is currently doing that, like all the fat has to be sucked out of me and I just have to be skinny till It builds itself up again, but you don't lose energy after the detox faze, you can hike and lift up a 5 gallon water jug and its fine, I do feel like I stepped into the twilight zone and I'm listening to my teacher, which is myself, my higher none physical self with all these lives in it, so it knows a lot. I choose ascension and weather stuff becomes illegal or legal it doesn't really bother me a little, a law is like 1 persons apposition, it really means nothing, new president? who gives a shit, if people want to still run on that slave mentality of having a leader, go ahead, but literally all the answers are in you, it takes getting rid of all addiction to know it, even love, you don't crave a partner, you're whole already, and the people just randomly come in, which is funny. It doesn't take 1 person to rely on your happiness, you can love multiple people, and so can your partner, to think 1 person will complete you is guaranteed pain, because nobody can reach that standard, and you don't own anyone, people are free. what else? oh yeah, you get your blue print back, the real you. you're connected to your higher self, you don't give a shit about outside information and projections, you're connected to the information. You don't even feel like you, you feel like your higher self playing you and you love the player you are and respect it and know what it can and cant do, its a specific blue print, to think everyone is the same and should be the same is dumb, we aren't, but this world does that to us. you do master yourself its like every chakra gets clean, you see the light and dark of each of them and the root of where it came from, like why you have that weird fetish and how you see yourself and your race, all of it. the layers pull back and you can see it. 3:33 lol that's what it said when I looked at the clock. Yeah, this shit is happening, the ascension thing, source is very real, your higher self is very real. You can still swear and do ego things, because this is the player that I am right now, swearing doesn't mean you are less educated or whatever subconscious belief people might have about it, words are fun to play with. I'm exited, shit you can live 100+ easy lol. you sleep like 2-4 hours so you are forced to do what you enjoy and you master boredom, you just tap into a meditative state like sleeping awake sort of, you're here and gone. I'm not saying do this, but people are waking up to this already and people have been here(this consciousness state) for years already. your dreams are insane its like if you were conscious in a dream how crazy would you make it? you get those kinds of dreams. there's more to it of course, but just letting you know its possible, and that whole 40 days of fasting in the bible seems interesting now, like oh they were talking about this... I'm not religious at all, I could burn a bible with no guilt lol. have a good day.
  18. 3 points
    Just wanted to say... Just wanted to say that I love each and every one of you unconditionally...I don't need you to compliment me or encourage me or say nice things to me so I could love you. My love for you is eternal, unconditional, and I think you're so beautiful... I fall in love with each and every one of you more and more every single day and I wish you can see how special, beautiful and deserving you are... That is all
  19. 3 points
    Big Changes Did you read Teal's blog post about 2017 ? I feel like I've just jumped in the train. I'm in the midst of big changes in my life and also in my perception of life itself. It's like everything I've known isn't real anymore. It's like being on the edge of a cliff, not knowing what's next. It's very cool and also a bit weird. I'm processing that I have the right to live the life that perfectly fits me. It's a huge relief. I think that there is so much more in life than we can imagine !
  20. 3 points
    they want to go back to the 50's, so we'll show em the 60's.
  21. 3 points
    Thank you guys, I am doing much better now and regained back some perspective. I have never written messages like this, usually I take care of my pain and these feelings on my own. But I am starting to see that it's important to sometimes seek out to connect en not only when I'm happy and cheerfull but now for a moment also in my my darkest thoughts. It is not so easy to share something on this level with people around me, it just makes people very uncomfortable because everyone is so busy trying to feel good all the time, or atleast trying to let everyone believe that they're living a problem free life. I realised it is not so much whatever advise you give, eventhough there has been some good wisdom shared. It is just the fact that eventhough you might feel all alone, there is someone somewhere in the world who takes some time to see you, to read your story and try to give a helping hand. And that's just beatiful, it really is. And it gives me lot's of support just to know that. Thank you so much for the kindness and love <3
  22. 3 points
    Broke down last night after watching this. Srry I have to get this out '_' I literally broke down after watching this yesterday and gave it a good cry for a full hour. Weird cause I haven't visited rsd in over a year. It took someone mentioning it here to spark a thought of curiosity to find out what they were teaching now. Same shit different toilet I kinda outgrew from the atmosphere of that community but I always respected Jeffy. Anyway I think its time to call and pay the old man a visit in march while Im on vacation. Thought to myself wtf. What If I continue on not picking up his calls? What is my dad going through? Even if he didn't love me, I can only wonder what shaped him to be how he is today. I can't stay mad at him, I kinda want to go up to him and give him a hug and tell him I don't care if you didn't love me then, I just hope you're proud of me now. You know? I don't really know much about his early upbringing, he grew up near Boston and Connecticut. He was also manager of the food beverage dept at some high end hotel in NYC for awhile. Then settled and relocated with my mother in Miami. Thats pretty much all I know of his history. Last time ive seen him I think he knew he fucked up, I guess im just trying to give him some sort of punishment and cutting him out of my life is my way of doing that. My life is different now then it was a year ago and I no longer carry that anger that I did before. Ive always wanted his validation as a kid but now he comes off as so weak and broken that I genuinely feel sorry for him. : / In a way I have to thank him for not being there, who knows what kind of a slob I would have been had he not been as tough. I'd like to think that he had different plans for me, that tough love was his way of turning me into some kind of "ubermensch". That there was something special about me, but I know thats just false. I felt very left out as a kid. My siblings are all happily married with family. They never complained about my dad not loving them back. Married and starting a family? I don't want that..atleast not yet. Tbh I would rather DIE young then do the same as my brother and sisters. I don't want to settle for mediocrity. Sorry im not equating starting a family with being mediocre..its not but I myself don't want to grow up yet. I love my life as it is, but I know there is potential for growth and perhaps Its my excuse to cope with this issue. I grew up in an upper scale area of Miami. We rented, we weren't rich but we did get by fairly well, throughout highschool I always had loyal friends and a gf who had plans to move in together and start a family with me. Neither of my parents ever hit me or physically abused me. They didn't need to inflict physical pain. I knew my mom loved me but she got hooked on pills due to an injury from a car accident. You could say she wanted to be there for me but couldn't. My relationship with my mom is fine now and she checks up on me from time to time. But I should have had a happy upbringing. I did and I didn't but deep down I felt something was missing. I was arrogant, manipulative, and pushing away the people who were there for me. I feel its time to change my act, I don't want to be that person anymore. I don't want to live with the idea that im a bad person because I am capable of letting someone starve and destroy any chance they had of healing their consciousness, but I do feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
  23. 3 points
    Esoteric Emotions Does anybody else experience "Esoteric Emotions"? These emotions are very strange and appear out of nowhere. For instance I could be sitting down looking at a catalog of some sorts when I get inundated with a strange, often perplexing emotion. Most are very pleasing, strange but pleasing. These emotions don't seem to be connected to anything in particular but seem to manifest out of thin air. I have a strong case of Synesthesia and when these emotions come I get flooded with colors and shapes. I can't really explain what these emotions are similar to because they are not really like the "regular" everyday emotions, it's like trying to explain to someone the shape and taste of the color purple. Whats most striking is that these emotions are the most intense in the "dream world". As soon as I wake up from a dream, I'm still in the emotional state I was in. The emotion is so strong that it could affect me the entire day or two. I know these emotions are simply not possible to experience in relation to anything we could encounter in our everyday lives. It's as if I've become a connoisseur of emotions and the universe is like, "Hey, try this one". Does anyone else have similar experiences? ( There is a huge difference from an "emotion" and a "sensation". For example: Love and Hate are emotions. While Physical Pain and an Orgasm are sensations. Emotions can produce sensations, While sensations can produce a myriad of emotions which fall in line with the basic human definitions of such.)
  24. 3 points
    Can you be a bit more specific please. What do you mean that many "conscious" people have shown whether they psychologically have what it takes? And how is the New Age movment exposed for what it really is and what is that? What do you mean exactly when you say that the system has infiltrated the movement long ago? And I am curious what other high-quality streams of information you use beside Teal
  25. 3 points
    That's interesting. I had a very different experience of night clubs. The energy felt demonic and very very dense. The emotions i picked up were fear and mostly despair. I felt paralyzed afterwards.
  26. 3 points
    Infowarrior Intentional Community. ( I want to get this message to Alex himself but i got no way to make sure it gets to him! AND I wish to set something up with my fellow infowarriors, i MEAN it. I REALLY want to get something going. Even if it includes skype gatherings and whatnot. gatherings of awake people, but of course, anyone can join, specially if they want to get illuminated about the world we live in. ) infowars intentional community Hello one and all. We young folks have a strong grip on innovation. Inventing. I want to suggest things like Reformed human history classes. Camping, road trips (All of this initiates the many instincts ), watch various documentaries, visit theaters, historical sites ( like in the wilderness, etc. But museums are also available options.) I thought of this more and more after I heard Alex Jones mentioning about getting out there, to play basketball and stuff. Rejoin as a human race. ( Perhaps even with all of this, film ourselves, each other In the end of it all, being respectful and intellectually confident will become fun! ) Let's become entrepreneurs!) WE ALL WANT TO CREATE, LEARN, TRAVEL, TALK , LOVE OUR HISTORY AND ELDERS, FOOL AROUND, HAVE FUN. ENDORSE EACHOTHER, GROW OUR OWN FOOD ,MEET NEW PEOPLE, and all of that good stuff. It's time for everything in this world to quit the suffering! Recognize eachother as significant! I say all of this because I feel that many of us are so stuck in our patterns that we either think we have no power to do anything or literally cannot do anything. We need to empower each other. The more we start forming meaningful friendships, the more confidence we gain, the more experience we get. becoming well-rounded individual. We naturally go towards the truth. Our internal guidance systems. I say that us young people really need to get politically active, physically active, mentally active, socially active.spiritually active. (Our current situation has come from us ignoring it all, being asleep as it were. I know it's mainly cause of the globalists and stuff. But we need to get out there. Not just tell the news. We need to get out there and literally reverse everything the shadow government has caused since ancient world ( as far back as before the name Rothschild was the . Even just a few years ago, we went outside more, despite all the technology. There used to be more things to gather people together.. Schools seemed to be a little easier despite some of the indoctrination still going on. (Did you take notice that nobody did any crazy things on the campaign and inauguration of Obama, Bill Clinton and many of the others before them? All of this stuff stinks to high heaven and we need to up our initiatives and incentive. We can't just report the news, we need to STOP what the globalists are doing. Getting together with the YouTuber like leakproject and others. ( us young people have the energy to soak up the knowledge of our experienced elders in this group and we'll have many years to uphold great values and build on these skills we have just learned. And when we come out of this, we can LIVE TO THE FULLEST) not just talk about Pleadians or something, unless it plays to our learning of the world we live in, practical things. We cannot detach from the world we opted into! we came here to make things better, but see things as they are as well. Part of this group i want to form will also include cleansing segments, where we can get access to infowars products. Regardless of our income. And then with our enhancements, we can actually do something with our life, our newfound power. Mentoring those who have some sort of financial troubles, taxes, investments, innovation. One on one, group learning events. I just want a school that will actually have students flooding into learn more! If we don't get active, I think we wont even value having any quiet time! Boredom, Depression, etc. I really have been wanting to working with you guys ever since I've been watching infowars since the start of this year. ( The magic is in the air. TRUMP EFFECT ) These globalists never had power, and these current days tell us yet again that it was just a heavy hypnosis we were under. We were just convinced into duping OURSELVES. We still have the power, which is why they have to work day in and day out to keep us in check. They'll never seize our minds, nor our hearts. Even if it's just a flicker left. Much love to the infowars team. ( Let's counter the frothing, intolerant, racketeering left. SJWs etc. And raise more awareness of this new world order, George Soros, etc.) I strongly wish many people around 30-80 years old so we can learn from you. I as yet another boy who was screwed over by liberal school systems and ideologies. I could never find myself enjoying being around such people and things. Which is why i've been wanting to be apart of the real thing ever since i was little and i could never get it while others even in my liberal schools somehow got all the attention, basically getting whored out into the world all groomed. While people like me having no experience or confidence to even do anything besides live at home with my family. Every ambition i had got shut down. ( my older topics expressed in fine detail. [I've been desiring to live in the US , to join the infowars team one way or another] @Pastor George @Neptune @J.Haney
  27. 3 points
    Alcohol Ok so yeah I'm one of those guys that uses alcohol to be social. If I were to go out with friends or a date you could surely bet I would be drinking. When I drink Im charming witty attractive fun, even when people are aware of how drunk I am, were all having a good time, you know?. I had my last sip this new years eve, I'm not an alcoholic or heavy drinker but I feel like ive lost somewhat a part of me that made me feel like I could rule the world. My mind is racing with insecure thoughts and I've gotten sick. I no longer go out to the bar and just stay at home, I feel stupid being there even with friends. I feel awkward tbh. Drinking brings out the best in me, With it I can go up to any girl and they will eat any bs that comes out of my mouth...and I'm not saying I have to get totally drunk, a shot of grey goose is enough for me to get in zone. People are starting to irritate lately, especially people who are having more fun than me. I KNOW alcohol is bad but I never thought drinking was such a crutch for me. Does it get better? Will I go back to my normal confident se!f? I'm sick of life right now and school.
  28. 3 points
    Happy, so now WTF? So this is my story. I get the parking lot at where work. I walk in and BAM. Holy shit like I feel soooo fucking happy! I wanted to share it w/ the world, wanted everyone in the world to feel this way. Still now I fell this way. It's like a high. Never been one to say that the world is full of rainbows and unicorns. So now WTF do I do? What is this? Why is it? How do I keep it going? Or shouldn't I question it and keep rollin' w/ it? Peace
  29. 3 points
    I read that article, but I'm really confused as to where this guy gets his information, why people trust what he says and when this 3-4 day blackout into the 4th dimension is supposed to happen? Things are definitely shifting, but I am extremely wary of these acid-trip-esque prophecies from dubious sources saying that we're going to wake up naked in the 4th dimension with no house because "nothing unnatural and not of the earth will remain". Does this apply to tooth fillings? Like will my hair fall off the top of my head because it's dyed? Will my skin stay on because I put lotion on this morning? I just don't understand why people believe this and where he is getting this idea that the shift will be like that. We are going to be guided into the 4th dimension by naked giant parents? Like what? I'm pretty sure these aren;t things I signed up for when I decided to come down to earth and be physical. I have been shifting and I do see certain things like patterns and I am extremely intuitive and have experienced dimensional travel, but I'm really not interested in shedding my physical cocoon so I can exist on some higher-dimensional plane. From my understanding, everyone already exists on that plane and we can and do access it, but the point of being physical is that we forget all that and participate in this intense "VR" that is earth. I am just very, very skeptical of things like this, because he knows exactly what will happen and how it will happen but doesn't provide a date or state where he gets this information? Why do people believe him?
  30. 3 points
    awesome! yeah, sometimes when I wake up at night or more asleep than awake you get extra layers and anything you think comes with seeing those geometric patterns, you are seeing your thoughts and it comes with feeling I noticed too, you're using this higher aspect of your consciousness, that third eye. its like a speaker with sand on it and it creates these patterns when you change the pitch, thoughts work like that and when you can actually see them its amazing. this is just 2d geometric patterns and no color .
  31. 3 points
    I am so looking forward to visiting this year! And your plan of intentional communities really piqued my interest!
  32. 3 points
    You have to explain this further. If your own personal and spiritual growth should be our number one priority than why even care about what 'the controllers' say? Of course our own spiritual growth is important but I thought humankind as a whole also evolves and responds to its wishes. That implies that you have to look at the world in its current state. Apart from that I agree with you that you don't have to have an opinion. The whole situation in the US seems to be so incredibly emotional to me, that normal reasoning wont help at all. I simply hope that the US will have a big talk with itself about democracy. How can a two party system be democratic? How can it be called democratic when the 51% of the voters take all the votes for a state and thereby neglect the other 49%? Its system fails miserably at representing the diversity in the country.
  33. 3 points
    It is your mirror, all relationships are really, but girlfriend meaning this one person you are closer with than any other person than she will mirror everything about you. If you want that twin flame relationship love all of you. meaning accept all of you where you are. accept your broken foot, speech impediment, sensitivity, insecurities, your body, your personality, all of it and you wouldn't even crave a relationship anymore you're whole, but at that point you can see your twin flame if you want it, potential twin flames, other aspects of you. you will rarely find people attractive but the ones that are would be potential relation ships that would complement you. you would know yourself enough to know which relationships would and wouldn't work. Regular relationships are fine though lol.
  34. 3 points
    It helps to be social i.e. live in a place where there are many people. All relationships are valuable but if they are hard then it's incumbent upon you to make them easier.
  35. 3 points
  36. 3 points
    I find that sometimes it takes a few attempts to "get into" harder emotional memories and there can be layers to it. Just going into it in the first place can be enough at first for the second time to get easier, etc. a.) Does it feel like you did? b.) Not necessarily. This is an emotionally exhausting process. You just dove into a trauma, integrating that trauma might bring some relief but that doesn't mean happiness and you don't have to be shitting skittles in order to reap the benefits later on. Shadow work isn't happy work, though it does make you happier in the long run, facing your shadows isn't a fun process most of the time. It might be kind of thrilling in a scary and adventurous way, but happy... in my experience the happiness come from the completeness you feel over time afterwards, not during or even immediately after the process. Sure, sometimes you will feel happy, I have, but it's also been heavy and gut-wrenching. c.) No idea, but if it continues to be a problem, I suggest getting checked out by a doc personally, I'd just wait and see what feels best to me to do. d.) I don't think it matters whether or not the memory is "real", especially if you are reacting emotionally and physically to it. Your emotional body and your physical one is communicating with you through the memory.
  37. 3 points
    There's a lot of ignorance around things we don't understand and that's where the labelling begins. Labels turn into judgements and stigmas then big pharma jumps in and has a field day. This may be a bad analogy but animals like wolves, whales, and elephants live at a higher dimension than humans and they are here to teach us. The irony being we are killing them off as fast as we can.
  38. 3 points
    I think that the further you go on life the more you discover what works good for you and what doesn't. I loved my boozing years and just like you I felt a lot more open, loose and good when I drank alcohol. I guess that after a while, the use of alcohol started to feel fake to me. Why would I need a drink to express myself? I also started to get sick of the dramatics of (over) alcohol use and found alcohol users to be dismissive in general, which I started to percieve more and more as negative. Things like: "if you don't drink you are a pussy." In time I started to start later and stop earlier with drinking than my peers and slowly started to drink less and less. Of course I still wanted to have fun, but this diminished the need to go out to bars immensely and I stayed home a lot more with friends to play board games, make a camp fire or watch a movie. Obviously I start to lack stories of how I did stupid stuff when I was wasted, but I feel a lot more authentic now and that means a lot to me. I have discovered that it is still easy to have fun without alcohol and talking to people is not harder. Ironically my feelings seem to have been a lot more expressive since a few years which correlates with my declining alcohol use. Maybe my experiences are insightful to you. The short answer to your question is: life without alcohol is still freaking cool, but you will want to discover other interests to fill up the gap of adventure and time that you usually spend in a bar.
  39. 3 points
    I know very little about schizophrenia and especially how to recover from its negative aspects, so I can only offer you conjecture which hopefully rings true for you: What characterizes these disorders is the split of the psyche... hence I would theorize it's all about shadow work, soul retrieval, etc. which is what Teal teaches about. How to heal the split aspects and bring yourself back into a whole state. It is working for me, although I am not schizophrenic, I am/was easily on the schizophrenic spectrum due to my issues and sensitivities. Do not just focus on your brain but work on your body as well. This includes diet and nutrition, hydration, exercise, and some form of body work. Most trauma is stored in the body, not in the brain. So working on the body with some kind of healing modality, of which Eastern methods are the most refined, is very helpful for people with trauma who also have issues which can leave them stuck in their mental space. I'm talking about stuff like accupuncture, accupressure, gua sha, tai chi/qi kung, kinesiology, structural integration, shiatsu, etc. I think you would benefit from learning about Teal's journey with her extrasensory abilities. In particular a 40-minute audio named "Advice for Empaths" is something I think everyone should listen to, but especially sensitives of any kind. It can completely change the way you deal with input.
  40. 3 points
    Yeah it gets easier not to drink. I would have been they guy encouraging everyone out getting drunk. Started at 13 working in bars, a year before it was legal. I taste beer or wine now and it makes me feel ill. At uni I was out 5 nights a week, due to a weird set of circumstances of having money to burn through. And yes I used to be with girls when drunk too. Hopefully you can see though saying that, as I could about me, that its filling a hole where you can be with natural confidence anyway. Its still you approaching women or life. Does the social aspect get easier. Kind of. As the people around you get older it will, because people will start easing up. Kids, marriage, responsibilities and work for the average guy or girl. I am not the most social person however to advise you now. I can say unless you go actively try and meet people, those not into getting loaded or drunk every night you'll be lonely. Even looking back at uni, and teenage years before that, I could see people gravitate away from me and the others drinking heavily, so if I am being honest they existed back then. They probably exist for you right now to. Back then I would have called them people with boundaries and class, but honestly they were just happier or at least more into themselves, who they were naturally, you can spot them a mile away. Time to go find social events without alcohol, best of luck to you (us) :). Get a list of things going on, and start spending your time/money on those things instead. What do you enjoy doing? That's a start. All the best. *Does what you are covering up by needing to drink get any easier? That's all on you, and the work you do on yourself, or those people you might attract into your life to help one way or the other.
  41. 3 points
    I'm not sure I am gonna address your concern really...maybe I'll leave some non-sense at the end, I don't know, but what I wanna say is this...I'm totally interested in you and the shit you have to say. I came here after several months and saw your post (this post) Bam! Clicked it. Perhaps rather than tryin to get people interested in you, you can take an interest in them. This ensures they will be interested in you, and your subject matter, as it pertains to them. You can get the attention you seek by giving it.
  42. 3 points
    Wow, thanks for engaging me you guys Haha, it's kind of been a running joke on here that I have LOOONG posts, so I really appreciate those of you who have stuck with me to work through this! Loll ^-^ My dad is also like that haha. It has crossed my mind that I may be with the guy that I'm with because I'm trying to heal those past wounds. Time will tell. I guess, ideally, I want to be in a space where I am OK what happens either way. That's what surrender is, right? Ironically, though, you can't force surrender. You just can't haha. Trying to force surrender is literally the opposite of that. So I guess I'm just going to let myself go wherever I find myself and do what I need to raise my vibration, no matter where I am. This means letting go of control, letting go of stories of the past and of the future, letting go of criticism. I am a fish swimming in a sea of emotions, and the current can go in any direction. I just want more "deep" friends to begin with, so that's my first step. Shallow conversations literally drain me so much. I NEED to be able to talk about deep feelings with people, so that's definitely the sort of relationships I would like to cultivate. I literally HATE feeling like I'm complaining about things. Literally, walt, I sometimes have no idea why I don't just take an action. It's exhausting. I suppose, I have had a complex life. And sometimes I just want things to be simpler. I don't even want to do anything right now, so I'm not going to. That was a valid point, that you made, redbeard, about assumptions. I suppose I just would like to see, really see, as clearly as possible. There's a part of me that wants to end this with a simple answer, but I guess time will tell. In the meantime, I'm just going to try and make friends with a bunch of different people and focus more on my future. I was meditating the other day, and this thought did occur to me, that I spend so much time writing long ass forum posts, and trying to get close to people who just aren't as invested, and it's like, maybe I should just write a book or something instead of trying to find connection immediately? Put it to use? The ability to feel deeply can enhance any craft, no matter what form it takes. Bottom line though, there are a lot of things that can cloud perception. So I think it will be good to take a moment to find what surrender really means for me, and to observe the 'self' in all its many forms...
  43. 3 points
    @David B Thank you so much for that fresh perspective. I definitely feel like there is a huge transformation occurring in my life and while that's extremely terrifying, it is happening for a reason. And yes! It's amazing you were guided to share that. I absolutely love Poetry. My username is actually inspired by Rumi's "Not Here" poem. Who is the author of Fleeting Streams of Light? It paints such a beautiful picture & I absolutely love this part... "Shooting stars seem so random. But they are not. Just as Destiny ordains dark nights upon us all, Destiny sends fleeting streams of light to remind us. Though you may miss the message - Your lonely tears are not alone" @Mark Joseph Middleton *Hugs* Back! Thank you. I get the feeling that this situation is quite literally pushing me to only hold space for people that are fully capable of holding me and meeting my needs. I 'm almost being forced to be alone with myself which is something I've never really got to experience. Now that I am, I'm discovering ALOT of pain and self hate. I tend to use other people to escape myself, so being unable to connect is literally making me face myself ... As for passions I have somewhat of an idea of my childhood talents & interests but as you said as of now I can't really tell you what my passion are and what I enjoy doing. @Redbeard Yess my heart is where I feel a lot of my physical pain in regards to relationships. Thank you!
  44. 3 points
    I understand what your feeling. It's kinda like "does anyone see I'm in pain?" I know the void you're talking about and it feels like crap to have it. What I've found is if you can't go anywhere externally then it's time to go into the void. Give it the love and understanding you're desperately wanting from other people by being completely and unconditionally present with it. Keep in mind you can't have the attitude of I have to fix/change this and be self loving.Going into the void isn't always easy and won't always feel good. Use Teal's Completion Process. And you know what maybe for you it's not worth enduring a life like that but I think you can make your life look how you want it to. Not everyone is brave enough to ask for help or say how they actually feel but you did and that says alot.
  45. 3 points
    The ultimate "spiritual" perspective on competition right now is very conflicted. How do I know this? Because YOUR perspective on it is conflicted.
  46. 3 points
    I bring healing, mental, physical and spiritual. I studied emergency medicine and worked EMS including managing an ambulance system. I spent the last 15 years as an addictions counselor and as a pastor. I care about people and i care for people. That's my thing!
  47. 3 points
    *hugs* You've disconnected all the old junk! It feels lonely at first. You are enough, repeat that a lot. Whatever you feel is okay. You could sit with the feeling of disconnection and comfort it, loneliness and quiet, changing the dynamic inside yourself. Then you get to find people who are also enough in themselves. New people. Family will still be there, and you can still chat to them but you can see how superficial the relationships you had with them is. One of mine is not, I am fortunate I have that connection but the other two immediate family members (and most of my extended family) are largely superficial relationships, as in we don't relate together. But that's okay, it is what it is. Same with the friendships I used to have. By all means write too them, or reach out but not in an expecting way. I expect these people to be this, won't work. What are your interests, what do you like doing, what do you feel connected to? Do you know? Have you taken the time to try several things? Maybe made connections with people also involved in those things, that you find yourself passionate about or enjoying? Most of us no. Because of a long list of reasons put into us at an early age.
  48. 3 points
    Stagnant relationships provide little personal growth. What's keeping you from moving on with your life?
  49. 3 points
    Ultimately, being rejected by someone else feels better than rejecting yourself by being inauthentic in the long run.
  50. 3 points
    I'm sorry Jack the one, you have no idea of what is going on.