ftaborconsulting@gmail.com

Healing: IBS Depression

4 posts in this topic

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Hi Guys, 

For the past year I've been working as a project manager in London. Its been tough on my health..I got a lip condition, skin issues and had an extra long period. However during this time my spirit was never broken, I would spend weekends out of London in nature and spend evenings at home with my boyfriend exploring all the things I am fascinated by. 

However, then I went on holiday. I went to the most incredible place in Italy called Argentario. Its completely wild, the sea is beautiful, you can see a full vista of the stars and will have the company of wild cats and wild boar (pig). It may sound slightly scary, but I've been going since a child, so its like home. Its a place that my grandfather discovered and helped to develop into what it is today. He is passed away now, but I felt his presence and his desire for all the family to be there united enjoying this place together. Unfortunately my parents are broke, so they couldn't come so I spent x1 week there with my boyfriend and x1 week there by myself. I loved every moment, I took masses of pictures and I also really bonded with some extended family who were there at the same time. 

When I came back to London I was super excited to give my presents to everyone. The day after we went for dinner and my mum threw a scene and ended up in the car crying. Apparently my parents were reaching breaking point financially and my sister said my mum had been hitting my dad quite a lot when I was gone. I had come back to London in a heat wave and the next couple of days I was invited to hyde park quite a lot by my sister for a picnic and by my boyfriend who lives nearby. However I did not enjoy the experience at all, after being in real nature, this felt so inadequate..

My first day back at work after the holiday was horrific. I had just been been moved off my old client, onto a new client because the former of 10 years had moved to another job and I was far too unqualified and prepared for the job. My new team of developers all stated how they were concerned and I too. So that morning I mentioned to my boss that I really did not want to work on the account. On the way back from work I had a fight with my boyfriend who I felt was always negative and complaining. 

That night the IBS started. I had some dinner with my boyfriend and my stomach completely seized up with cramps.

The next morning I felt so ill and fevery. I handed in my notice and soon after I was making my way home, to my mum who is the best nurse carer in the world. 

I spent a couple of days in agony getting cramps and deep sweating till I would nearly pass out. 

I didnt know what I had at this stage but I was already taking laxatives and other things because nothing was coming out at all. However this was exhausting so I stopped. My parents were worried that I had lost so much weight and accused me of anorexia, to which I got furious and my sister suggested I see the doctor, who was only so helpful and very expensive. He suggested I take depression pills, to which my mum refused. And after realised the deep connection between nerves and anxiety and our gut. 

I think I was processing so much negative feelings about being back in this reality after the holiday, my gut completely shut down. 

The constipation after that changed to excreting this horrible jelly, which really freaked me out, which then turned to diarrhea. 

This morning I felt so depressed. I have completed flopped at home these recent weeks, allowing my mum to do everything and this morning I didnt want to get out of bed I just wanted to stay in a ball in bed. So as usual I made my way like a sick zombie to work.

When I got to work, there was my chair. The were the tasks that Im familiar with and colleagues I know. Somehow I feel better here. 

I know that I want to work for myself on this app idea I have and that I want to live in nature - i.e. I dont want to work somewhere like this, with the horrid commute and stress of London. But all my family are here in London and I love them very much. 

However I do feel bad living at home, maybe being cared for all the time is not that constructive and being told by my controlling mother which direction in life to move in is not helpful either..

I am so confused right now! I hate being depressed! If anyone can intuitively help me on this or is willing to help me heal please me know!

Franki!

Edited by ftaborconsulting@gmail.com

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Your situation sounds very stressful, painful, and frustrating. Mental anguish can easily show up physically. It is said that what happens in the spiritual manifests into the physical. The gut/abdomen and down area contains three main chakras (solar plexus, sacral, and root). You could check up on which tends to do what when not doing well. Maybe an energy healing would be beneficial to you and also meditation to help access your needs more (although it seems like you already know what you don't want...so focus instead on what you do wany). The universe reacts to for example "happy" instead of "not depressed". The universe only focuses on "depressed" in that case, which would perpetuate more depression. That's a reason why Teal says to follow your joy.

The situation of the town in Italy has such a stark contrast to your life in London. I think it would give anyone a reverse culture shock.

Once you are down, it isn't exactly easy to get back up. Although, I know you can do it.

I empathize with your depression as I am working on that (and other things) myself.

You are important and you are loved. Hang in there.

 

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Hello girl,

 I became friends with IBS when I was finishing school and especially at the exams.Since then we were never separated! :/ 8 years together,meaning!

 Today for example I woke up with some of the known symptoms,and that is why i found your post. Doctors said to me I must live with it!'It just appears and disappears,again and again,in various degrees' they said.The cause of it?My anxiety and stress,they said.

 So,if your question is on that,me too,I haven't healed it!

 If your question is on stopping depressive moods,as I have understood from Teal's teaching,'stopping','fixing',etc is not the point.We must sit down with our painful feelings,feel them entirely without resistance('this shouldn't have happened to me') till they vanish,so better feelings come out and then decide from this 'better-feeling' position what to do!

Because actions from a painful place of mindset don't usually guide to beautiful decisions!

 

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