LaucherJunge

I reached a wall in spiritual work i have trouble climbing.

4 posts in this topic

Hello, 

Im 21 years old and doing different kinds of meditation for about a year now usually for around 20-60 minutes a day. Im confident to say now that i have managed to defeat the depression i had for many years just trough the spiritual work. 

At one point in my meditation practice i got to a level where i started seeing 3 types of colors at different times in a way i would imagine an aura to look like its darkblue, red and indigo.
When im meditating for about 20-30 minutes tears start running out of my eyes and it feels like a great relief.
The meditation technique i use is called do nothing meditation i try to let loose of the control over my thoughts and let everything happen.

My problem now is that i have never experienced anything else than the above mentioned in my countless hours of meditation i can not differenciate my emotions other then a feeling of pain for negative ones and a feeling of bliss for negative ones in my stomach. although i actually can not recognize what the root of those emotions truly is because i do not even know why i experience them in the first place. They come without thoughts images or anything like that. actually i never had pictures, memories, words, numbers or anything of that nature coming to me while meditating thats why i can not feel much progression. But the reason im still motivating myself to continue the meditation is because i know i will get my depressions back followed by continuous pain in my stomach i also like the relief that i feel right after the meditation. Also i seem to work perfectly in daily life when i practice meditation daily for over 30 minutes i have boosted intelligence and intuition, also my smile just can not seem to dissapear in that state :)

I really feel the need to connect with my emotions due to a test that my step sister who is a psychologist did to me: If you have a result of over 0.7 points it means that you are way too emotional in comparison to others my result was 1.7 which made my sisters face look like she could not even believe it.
Obviously im having troubles with finding a women who can even comprehend my emotions which i can not hold back for long meeting a girl even if its just a chat, but this does not really bother me because i worked for a long time on being happy without a girlfriend.
 

Edited by LaucherJunge

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

get to the heart, that's sounds dumb and all poetic and all, but its true, that's your bullshit detector and that connection to the other persons soul I guess. you can feel what real is. when you are in the brain its just limited ideas and models. someone in the brain is just working with models, once you can remove the model and see which thought patterns people are using to justify their perspective it gets interesting. like someone who has never experienced anything spiritual in their life talks to someone who has had these spiritual experiences they wont even be able to feel that person, if it doesn't fit with their model they'll automatically discredit what the person is saying because it doesn't fit their science model or whatever. its just one perspective though, you can pick and choose which are useful. once you know yourself you can filter out the people who are not meant for you. you can see the standards people hold of what's important and lovable, unlovable, ugly, attractive, all this you can see when you "know yourself".

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for the advice.

@walt
I was at a point where i did not even spent a though on girls probably twice now i guess that is a problem i can handle but i could not imagine to continue living without meditation, well probably just not giving it that much attention and value should already do that trick i hope.

@Alex7
I will try to connect with my heart but it seems really hard to me atleast i make it hard to myself..
but you really hit the point there your last sentence made me realise what is really the key factor, i really do not know myself at all.

Edited by LaucherJunge

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
30 minutes ago, LaucherJunge said:

@Alex7
I will try to connect with my heart but it seems really hard to me atleast i make it hard to myself..
but you really hit the point there your last sentence made me realise what is really the key factor, i really do not know myself at all.

you can watch interviews or listen to podcast with people who speak from the heart and are authentic, the opposite how you speak to doctors or a cop, that fake conversion, the opposite of that. let me think of people who speak from the heart.... Tupac Shakur, all artists really, those the ones that express how they feel, that super authentic energy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now