sugarplum

Introduction&problems

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Hello fellow Tealers, my name is Sara! My username is sugarplum, because it is a nickname my bestfriend (ex bestfriend? - it's complicated) liked to call me a while ago and I find it cute and I am all about cuteness... and problems haha. Damn, I haven't written anything in English for ages. It is a nice change, but also a bitter one, because I am reminded of forgetting something I am good at = so neglecting a part of myself. Which is what I do a lot. Ok, switching to the intro part... I am 18 yo, I live in Slovenia. A land which doesn't resonate with me very well. I doubt a lot of Slovene people get attached to our home country. It has a different, emotionally charged atmosphere I think. Little connection, a lot of self doubt. Which is also a reflection of my shadow obviously. I am already regretting writing this, because I feel that I am very bad at expressing/writing and connecting with people, but I want connection so badly. This is the reason I joined this forum. Hopefully you want to connect with me too. Also does anyone have advice for dealing with expression blockages? Mine are quite severe. I actually need a break after writing this. 

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19 hours ago, sugarplum said:

Hello fellow Tealers, my name is Sara! My username is sugarplum, because it is a nickname my bestfriend (ex bestfriend? - it's complicated) liked to call me a while ago and I find it cute and I am all about cuteness... and problems haha. Damn, I haven't written anything in English for ages. It is a nice change, but also a bitter one, because I am reminded of forgetting something I am good at = so neglecting a part of myself. Which is what I do a lot. Ok, switching to the intro part... I am 18 yo, I live in Slovenia. A land which doesn't resonate with me very well. I doubt a lot of Slovene people get attached to our home country. It has a different, emotionally charged atmosphere I think. Little connection, a lot of self doubt. Which is also a reflection of my shadow obviously. I am already regretting writing this, because I feel that I am very bad at expressing/writing and connecting with people, but I want connection so badly. This is the reason I joined this forum. Hopefully you want to connect with me too. Also does anyone have advice for dealing with expression blockages? Mine are quite severe. I actually need a break after writing this. 

well good morning sugarplum from the UK!! hahha yes there are tons of people who will want to connect with you!Im proof of that hahah, I think your wonderful and very brave for facing those emotions and wanting and actually writing (In English as well) on this forum, that's awesome work my friend. For expressing emotional blockages, hmm, I watched Teals Video about expressing emotions about a month ago which was very helpful and went through the e different emotional stages from the lowest one of powerlessness all the way to love in the form of writing, maybe also consider doing some shadow work and the completion process when you feel thos 'negative' emotions, dive deep and feel them or if you don't want to go back to your childhood then just feel them and you will realise if you stay present with them they just want your attention and love and cannot hurt you and wash over you. Moroever I know that writing gets better when you release emotional blockages as it happened to Dr Wayne Dyer

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Hello, thank you for your reply:D! You seem lovely! Yeah, I have to do loads of shadow work, but I have tried to do it alone and it sort of didn't work, because a lot my trauma has to do with feeling invisable, unheard and I think I need to do it with someone who went through the process already, has some experience and could offer me presence without pulling back. I found someone, Teal's practitioner, though she is currently not available. And yes, I let myself feel. I let emotions flow through me. I often feel suicidal and was kind of pushed into feeling these intense experiences, emotions from a young age. I didn't have much of a choice to feel or not to feel, because my reality collapsed from time to time. If I didn't adjust with my feelings/align with this new reality, I wouldn't be here. But I am drained and full of resentment and other negative feelings which fill the lack of experiences I wanted to have and want to have (ah, the passive agressive victim role:$). I may feel, but there is a gap in between multiple realities which seem false. Haha, yea healing trauma is the solution, yay. I soo fail "climbing" the emotional ladder. I fall quite quickly, but it probably improves with practice. I will focus on other things instead. Indeed, writing helps. Btw, my uncle's family lives in the UK. I like it there, the people I have met were nice^_^.

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My name is Damon Karadia yeah it's ok in the UK I'm 19 so it's always nice to know people around my age. I'm reading teals book on self love her 2nd book, it's one of the best books ever written, shadows before dawn. Shadow work is diving into the deepest parts of your self and this book is other methods besides that which are also very important methods of self love such as writing a love letter to yourself or focusing on the positive aspects of your body u love. I highly recommend it, but slowly learning to love yourself can definetly help nurture the part of you which wants to die, because I felt like that for fckin ages due to the emotional abuse. And don't worry about falling I have fallen many times and still do but I remember an awesome quote. Why do we fall? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up ??

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