Kikipocodot

Convince me that it's not bad to feel pain

12 posts in this topic

So I did some shadow work (I think that's what it was) and looked into myself to figure out why my mind (or the part of me that likes to create solutions) is so fixated on doing things "right". This is in regards to feeling, thinking, and doing things the right way. I realized I was afraid that I wouldn't be happy, and if I'm not happy then that means I'm feeling pain. And I'm afraid to feel pain. So that's basically what I'm running from.

I believe pain is bad because it actually has negative effects on your body, which has been proven by science and Dr. Emoto's rice experiment. People, including the ones that I love, have told me it's bad to feel this way. They've told me this either while subtly rejecting me or just because they care about me and want to protect me from those that reject me (which comes with its own pain) and from experiencing pain itself.

I have watched Teal's video about how to change a belief, and that process is still a work in progress, which is why I'm here to gain some kind of evidence that pain is actually not bad and okay to feel. I'm trying to be as honest with myself and my feelings as I can so that I can learn and actually live a life that is more beneficial to me. So please, give me evidence  (or just a thorough, logical explanation) that pain is okay to feel. Love ya, thanks.✌?

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Pain, is whatever you make of it... 

It will always feel the same in your body. That's what pain is; it's that feeling that you feel in your body that... hurts.

So while it will always be what it is, and that's not changing, we can change our relationship with pain.

I like to think of our emotions as entities that we can have a relationship with...

Can you see a reason why it would be beneficial to change your relationship with pain?

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13 minutes ago, Tessa Rae said:

Pain, is whatever you make of it... 

It will always feel the same in your body. That's what pain is; it's that feeling that you feel in your body that... hurts.

So while it will always be what it is, and that's not changing, we can change our relationship with pain.

I like to think of our emotions as entities that we can have a relationship with...

Can you see a reason why it would be beneficial to change your relationship with pain?

 

Yeah, I actually just thought about that now. It would relieve me from trying to run away from it all that time but I would still have those feelings so.. :-/ 

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Yeah... I think that's part of moving beyond the old paradigm. But we all feel bad at some point or another (or at least I hope so). That's how we know we're alive...

...But yeah.. it's easier said than done. Cause it does feel uncomfortable and sets off your 'fight or flight' mechanisms... We're literally rewiring our brains by changing our relationship with our emotions...

I like to visualize pain as a person, and imagine how I would be friends with that person. Then when I feel pain, I try and do that thing.

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16 minutes ago, Tessa Rae said:

Yeah... I think that's part of moving beyond the old paradigm. But we all feel bad at some point or another (or at least I hope so). That's how we know we're alive...

...But yeah.. it's easier said than done. Cause it does feel uncomfortable and sets off your 'fight or flight' mechanisms... We're literally rewiring our brains by changing our relationship with our emotions...

I like to visualize pain as a person, and imagine how I would be friends with that person. Then when I feel pain, I try and do that thing.

 
 

Maybe I'll try that. Thanks friend

-Edit- And you know what, my reply from before doesn't actually make sense. I implied that I would still have resistance to my feelings, but I would actually only have relief - if I did accept my pain.

Edited by Kikipocodot

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There's a little irony here because you're looking to feel better about feeling bad. You're looking to release resistance about having resistance, to feel more comfortable about discomfort. So, we know that resistance isn't ideal, discomfort isn't ideal. Feeling bad sucks. We don't like it lol.

Pain indicates a vibrational discord between our human self/mind and our higher self/mind. It let's us know that we have a "kink" in our connection to our higher being. It's okay to feel pain, even fantastic that one is able to notice it, because the information it provides is so valuable. 

The first sentence of this post is a blanket statement (I edited this post with a header paragraph to better explain my point. The original first sentence is, "Pain indicates a vibrational discord between our human self/mind and our higher self/mind." I apologise for the poor editing , haha.),  but there are many different ways it can be represented, and there might be many vibrational steps along the way to embodying an ideal. The important factor is relief. That means, anytime you feel relief you have accomplished something very very good. Small steps are giant steps. It's amazing how quickly we can notice things turn around with even slight improvements.

Unless we integrate that part of ourselves more, whatever part is in resistance, by aligning more to better serve our higher purpose, like sipping mango juice on a beach with great people or whatever your higher purpose may be, we'll have to deal with the obstacles more in the furture. So, don't just stop when you're feeling better about the pain. It should still be seen for what it is, information, and what it's telling you is there is more goodness to be had, more lightness or playfulness etc, that can be experienced but is not currently being experienced.

 

Edited by Adam
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I want to emphasise one point that feeling is beneficial.

When we allow ourselves to feel a feeling, even if it feels uncomfortable, we allow ourselves to feel the other side of it, too. When we embrace the truth of how we feel and what we think, we can then find relief consciously. 

It's not easy and I'm no master at the whole process myself, but that's what we have to work with as far as I can tell. 

 

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10 hours ago, Kikipocodot said:

. So please, give me evidence  (or just a thorough, logical explanation) that pain is okay to feel. 

Well... I've met many people who use pain as an excuse to be a certain way or they try to use it to get away or avoid doing something. So, it does look like they enjoy their own pain because they rather choose pain then choose to change. 

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47 minutes ago, Garnet said:

Well... I've met many people who use pain as an excuse to be a certain way or they try to use it to get away or avoid doing something. 

Like when they decide to be passive aggressive?

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4 minutes ago, Adam said:

Like when they decide to be passive aggressive?

Mmm... no. It's more of a manipulation type of behavior. 

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Today I realized I resist my negative emotions because I am terrified of people leaving me. I have this association that people that feel their pain are dark and mysterious and that nobody would want to be with them. However, if that were true no one would love Teal because she feels her negative emotion better than anyone I know. I love Teal and I'm sure a lot  of other people do too.

Anyways, your scared of your negative emotions just like me but the harm your looking to avoid by keeping the feelings at bay are still present but they are hidden beneath our cognitive process. So it goes way more to be honest with yourself which you have done so good job. 

Well If you ever want to talk about negative emotion it would be nice to talk to someone with the same problem.

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Responding to the title and to the first post.

This life threatening condition https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congenital_insensitivity_to_pain is proof that feeling physical pain is important and helpful. this condition is life minus pain and is not pretty. is quite dangerous, actually.

like so, mental and emotional pain are also essential.

i mean, how could guidance even be possible, if there wouldn't be left and right, if it would be only right, because we don't like left so we don't use it? or no up and down, only up, because we don't like how down feels like, so we exclude it. pleasure and pain is just another dimension of the reality, just like up and down, back and forth, left and right, guilt and forgiveness, ugly and beautiful, good and bad, etc.

don't think of reality as a cube, that's 3d. think of it as infinitely dimensional, with every 2 opposites creating yet another dimension. 

so, for guidance in the pain/pleasure dimension, you have to feel them both, to know where you're at and feel your way towards where you want to be. how would you know to climb the stairs, or that there are stairs , if you'd have no sense of up and down, you know? 

hey, question: do you even know how pain really feels, or you are just scared by your idea of how pain might feel if you let yourself feel it? 

i mean, if you resist pain, pain+resistance is what you feel. unless you drop the resistance to it, you won't know how pain really feels, by itself.

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