YourDarkSide

Forsaken?

7 posts in this topic

So I'll get straight to the point, one day I broke up with my wife, but than she threatened to take her life if I didn't get back with her.

So I got back with her because I felt without me she wouldn't survive, and I would feel like a murderer for letting her go, knowing she's pretty unstable and is going through a lot right now such as Fibromyalgia.

We agreed to do things we didn't do, sadly and didn't break our homeostasis...such as studying with me to improve herself, studying teal swan videos and other sources.

The thing is...I have to push her to do these things, and I feel like I'm her caretaker, but ... at the same time I've been trying to take care of my daughter(rebellious),step son(hates me), grandpa(senile and angry), Wife(Wants it her way), and a Uncle which basically is self sufficient....amazing how my Uncle has never done me wrong really from my perspective...what he does is beyond amazing.

You see we have different beliefs in this house...(Grandpa)One who believes he should never be questioned and has total full authority to do as he wishes because he is the elder of the house, (Step Son) One who uses pure intellect and seems to not know how to feel with his feelings and perhaps doesn't attach to any belief, And the wife who believes that all religions are from god, peace and love...supposedly, because sometimes her actions are way different and she turns into a beast, and than there's me... who doesn't know what the hell to believe, I have tried the path of separation from all emotions and thoughts because they are arbitrary, and to some degree I still yearn to attempt that path again, But as of now I am taking the path of the Swan and see that perhaps, I can take the middle path and be a practitioner of both and find a balance, purely for now it is the path of the Swan because I feel I know enough of the path of the master of my own beliefs, which for me... if everything is arbitrary than nothing is true at all, but I'm beginning to feel that MIGHT not be true.

I want to do great things with my life, but in the background I have three children, and one elder who fuss within the house and they have problems with each other, and now...I am beginning to have problems with them all except my daughter because I suppose I love her so much that I cannot act otherwise due to her being my daughter, I am an individual and I believe I have experienced oneness for a brief moment and it was pretty freaky, but I retracted from it due to it being eerie I suppose.

Anyways my step son, I do not like... he EERKS me... he deliberately leaves the door open when I ask him to close it before he leaves, he defies me by doing things that I think that endanger my daughter, and he talks to my daughter as if she doesn't matter A LOT of the time and it pisses me off. His dad is totally abusive to him and he brings that shit over here...

His mom is so stupid she did nothing about it, an idiot, to protect her son from harm, at least not intelligibly.

Now the boy is a total psychopath that I have to deal with, I tell him to write in his grateful journal and he completely lacks any empathy to understand why he should be grateful for having to not eat clay like the Africans do, and COUNTLESS examples. He simply cares about himself, he looks at every situation to see what he can get out of it. I wish I had the chance to go back in time and just stay broken up with my wife because her son is something I DO NOT want to be around, it is always more peaceful when he is not around but I understand that the boy is connected to his mother, and you can't have one without the other in my wifes eyes.

I have a lot to write about but I guess I'll start there for now and see where this goes

 

 

 

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Uh yeah you obviously want to break up with her. Come on you wrote it two times. You're not going back in time anytime soon, so all you can work with is what's right there in front of you.

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from the description of your current life scenario, it sounds like you are being called to learn through service.

also from how your perspective of it sounds, from where I am hearing, looks like there's a lot of room for your understanding of others to broaden and expand. 

what great things do you expect to do with your life, if you can't even harmonise with your family? 

life has put this challenge on your path with a reason. there's something for you in it. 

then you can do great things with your life.

start with what is here now. that's your current mirror. one can look away from the mirror, but that won't change who they are. 

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I have a pretty messed up living situation kind of similar to yours... and it doesn't bother me... when (and only when)... I have my "cup full".... that's self love until it's overflowing and it's as simple as exercising daily or being out in nature, eating good food, meditating... you know, doing 'I love you' stuff.

As for me, I have found that I always manifest 'dependents'... I wonder why?

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2 hours ago, nuia said:

I have a pretty messed up living situation kind of similar to yours... and it doesn't bother me... when (and only when)... I have my "cup full".... that's self love until it's overflowing and it's as simple as exercising daily or being out in nature, eating good food, meditating... you know, doing 'I love you' stuff.

As for me, I have found that I always manifest 'dependents'... I wonder why?

 

I'm beginning to realize through meditation I would be fine on my own

I can't wait to do childhood work though 

Meditating on the love frequency is an amazing feeling

 

On 7/24/2016 at 3:27 PM, mufhry said:

from the description of your current life scenario, it sounds like you are being called to learn through service.

also from how your perspective of it sounds, from where I am hearing, looks like there's a lot of room for your understanding of others to broaden and expand. 

what great things do you expect to do with your life, if you can't even harmonise with your family? 

life has put this challenge on your path with a reason. there's something for you in it. 

then you can do great things with your life.

start with what is here now. that's your current mirror. one can look away from the mirror, but that won't change who they are. 

It is funny that you mention that, because now I know I am meant to help others, but I cannot until I help myself for I just don't have the peace from within

I am trying to bring my family together through meditation

My wife seems to disagree with this, but.. she is just purely business oriented metaphorically

I am as well, but with meditation

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Follow your emotional guidance system.  It sounds like the best thing for you is get out of that situation.  You have to take care of yourself first. You are the most important person to take care of. I hope the best for you

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5 hours ago, Natalie Taylor said:

Follow your emotional guidance system.  It sounds like the best thing for you is get out of that situation.  You have to take care of yourself first. You are the most important person to take care of. I hope the best for you

THANK j00!

 

It does make me stronger in some sense but damn.. It can be much sometimes when someone wants to battle you all the time!

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