Craig

Where has it gone?

5 posts in this topic

I seem to have hit a brick wall. Very little motivation at all. The projects that I use to keep occupied seem uninteresting. A car resto is only days away and I have no interest in it. It could quickly sell and return over $10k and lessen the load , but I am forcing myself to work on it.  Cars, bikes, racing have been passionate things for me in the past. I also have a larger problem that I have been showing little attention to so that it could play out , to go on a pension or not. The answers are hard for me to find in meditation as I feel I my be blocking. Physically I will not be able to perform most of my trade due to my back even though I have made peace with the pain. I am being forced to make decisions faster than I can cope , that is how it feels to me. I practice meditation daily but usually just get a good relax.

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I have been on gov unemployment payment for over three years. With a recent back injury and with my age , most employers deem me a insurance risk. One gov dept is pushing for a disability pension, but the other dept have in the past rejected claims on mass to save money. I have been letting it run its own course . I have not had any life purpose signs to guide me, I try not to lend too much to it and be present. This seems harder than it was some weeks ago.

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If you qualify for disability, reasonably, it's a good option. I can imagine I would have a terribly difficult time deciding whether to go through with it or not. The idea of allowing the government to classify me as "disabled"... just however it goes, remember the word is false, it's not true.

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It would free me up to pursue something else which may replace it. I keep a positive mind set and all should be good. Is there any of Teal,s you tube vids that can help me with patience? I have always been either over eager or impatient for the results of things.  These may well be old habits from a busy work life. I used to work at a fast pace to give customers value for money. I,m cool with the label thing, I had a legal battle with them before. Of course I was not successful but the result was , my gov discredited me and labeled me to save money. So I will take back my taxes, paid over half a mill , and have zero guilt. Maybe even some sense of a victory.

Edited by Craig

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Government benefits programs are a joke.

1. Being FAT (your Fault) is considered a Disability. Well fuck it, what's the point in being skinny and having to pay for all your food when you can just be a fat fuck and have the government pay for your food. Don't even get me started on EBT/Food Stamps.

2. Having HIV (your fault) is considered a Disability AND you can get free HOUSING in NYC and San Francisco (2 of the most expensive cities in the world) just for getting HIV.

There are people who work a 9-to-5 job for years and struggle to pay the rent every month and all you have to do to get a free apartment paid by the government is to catch HIV, which nobody dies from anymore except in Africa?  Would you willingly touch a hot frying pan for 0.5 seconds in exchange for a car? I would. 

3. Being a SLUT and having many kids out of wedlock is a good thing because the government can give you money to provide for each of those kids. And if that's not enough money, you can always sue OneNightStand#34 for alimony/child-support and you'll probably win.

 

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