David B

How should I process being Lied to?

4 posts in this topic

Hey Tribers,  

Here is the situation.  I rent a house in Jacksonville and I get some roommates from Roomster and craisglist.  My newest one, that moved in five days ago, is some 19 year old girl student with her dad paying her rent.   She has a "needy" friend, some guy.  He's stayed the past three nights, and today, he's been here the whole day while she was gone.  So I feel I've been lied to, about renting the room to her... she didn't mention that this guy, who doesn't have a job or a car, would basically be her live in puppy dog.  

Anyway, So I'm pissed about it, primarily being lied to, and from that, I anger I get depressed and disappointed with myself, because i feel like a failure.  I feel if I were more successful, I wouldn't have to deal with stupid shit...  

Lastly, I'm not sure if I believe I can create my own reality in terms of financial abundance.    I think that i'm unsuccessful because I don't find joy in what I do.  I am not a very motivated/ambitious person.  I'm trying to figure out what really Inspires me.  I feel stuck.  

I welcome any thoughts and comments.

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Just set some boundaries, man. Perhaps she hasn't lied to you, but just has boundary issues herself, and thus is being taken advantage of in her own right. SO, just let her know, if she wants to rent from you, she can have company, but no longer than two consecutive days, and not without her being there. (Unless she makes  prior arrangements  -say her mom wants to come visit for a week) ...or something like that, you choose the rules. Whatever shines your fancy, amigo. Make those boundaries, and put them clearly  in place. In this way, you won't have to worry about getting taken advantage of by renting your room. If your boundaries are broken, find a better renter.

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Hm a lot of the time, renting a room (unless otherwise specified) entitles a person to have their significant other living with them? Maybe it's the other way around. Either way, the guy counts as her boyfriend, whether they are actually an item or not.

What I'm asking is, when you rented her the place, did you discuss this?

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Thanks for the input guys...  I wanted to give a quick update.  

Luckily as serendipity would have it, I was able to confirm the next day that the guy was there when she wasn't home, being that she left, and he was still home...  So I was able to text her and be like hey, I don't mind if you have friends over, but if he's here and your not, that's more like having an extra roommate... that's fine, he can stay or whatever, it would just be an extra $100 a month.   So she apologized saying that he had a fight with his roommate or something like that...  Nonetheless, I don't think honesty is her best trait.   Slowly but surely, she'll be finding out little white lies don't work on people who aren't named Dad.

So the cloud has past.  And I'll take note, and give myself some credit for exercising the power to create my reality.

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