Cakimali

If is normal(or possible) to fall to hopelessness and stop feeling every few days

8 posts in this topic

Yeah it's totally possible. Right now I'm imagining like a scientist or something trying to bring online this power source but something keeps happening with the programming and it goes into emergency shut down before it reaches a threshold of sustainability.

This is what I sometimes do as a tool or technique, try to apply the interior situation to an imaginary model or vignette.

You can find out what's causing your system to falter. Please, if you want to talk about how this fall into hopelessness usually manifests itself, tell us.

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12 hours ago, Akurabis said:

Yeah it's totally possible. Right now I'm imagining like a scientist or something trying to bring online this power source but something keeps happening with the programming and it goes into emergency shut down before it reaches a threshold of sustainability.

This is what I sometimes do as a tool or technique, try to apply the interior situation to an imaginary model or vignette.

You can find out what's causing your system to falter. Please, if you want to talk about how this fall into hopelessness usually manifests itself, tell us.

I've started doing shadow work a month ago. After an encounter with despair i could feel again. After a while i would stop feeling again then i would go down to despair again so i could feel. this went on a few times until i reconnected with my inner child who initially faced despair. After this i thought it would stop, that i have finally overcame numbness(by integrating my despair) and yet i keeps happening over and over again. Even on different topics it ends up with my being unable to feel. And everything his being worsened by panic attacks of which i came aware of 2 weeks ago. Doing despair shadow work with a panic attack on(cuz without feeling i cannot stop a panic attack) is nightmarish to say the least. My goal is to be able to feel all the time no matter what emotion without getting into anger or shutting off. 

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Is it normal? I don't know. That's certainly how it has been for me. Feel crappy most of the time; search for the solution; find something that makes it better; feel good for a short time; then back to feeling crappy by default; find the next solution, rinse and repeat. I think it's a pattern many people know well. But that's just conjecture. I doubt it is really "normal" in the sense that most people experience it, otherwise everyone would be a wreck.

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14 hours ago, Akurabis said:

@Cakimali hm.. so tell me, how aware are you of the horrible conditions that we live in? I mean, is this what is causing your despair?

I'm becoming more and more convinced that the despair results from me not being able to take responsibility for my life.

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2 hours ago, Cakimali said:

I'm becoming more and more convinced that the despair results from me not being able to take responsibility for my life.

@Cakimali you are not alone I feel the same sometimes ....I am sure there is some sort of inner strength and power that stands for me each time I am drawn into despair. I used to get disappointed in myself very much but I've understood that it is my upbringing which causes that. Thanks to the forum members I realized that it is ok to have flaws. I am owning them. I had to accept that I cannot be someone else. I am just me I make mistakes, I can be stubborn and irresponsible. Does it matter though? Don't we all want to be happy? as long as you have good intentions for yourself and others you can relax at least that is what I do. 

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I used to get this but it happened the other way around, felt good for 10 minutes then I would slump back to hoplessness for a month lol I think I know why now because when I went into a happy mood I was like I'm CURED!!!! Lol then id think back at how silly my hopeless thoughts were and how happy im not there heheheheeeeee but in the midst I slumped back there lol now did you notice my mistake, when I got into my happy zone I started thinking about my hopless thoughts again instead of rolling with the happy, so as it goes I was accidentally saying to my mind go to hopelessness, there, unhappy, now ive clicked on to it, through teals book scultrure in the sky, I stop doing that and the hapy keeps going :D I honestly didnt know we influenced ourselves so much, that we are not influenced by our surrounding ... I could go on forever but hope it helped

 

oh and the other thing was nutralizing my ego lol I had a BIIIIIIIG one I wasnt aware of

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