Craig

Problems with meditation

9 posts in this topic

I was just in bed trying to meditate , this is new for me , and I had some mixed results. My hands got very itchy and I was rubbing my fingers together, this feels strange, and it is still going on . That part was fun and then I got this strong tingle that started in my toes and worked its way up my feet. The whole time I was trying to be present with a clear mind. This turned out to be difficult when a childhood memory kept blocking my vision . I started to see the same black face from my past . I proclaimed out loud that I was stronger than it now and it seemed to go away , like I could  see past it as it was right in my face again. Last time I saw it I was very young and it scared me to the point where I froze in utter coldness. That did not happen this time and I sense I have seen the last of it. BUT now I can not get back to deep relax to meditate right now. Any comments on what just happened as it did freak me a bit. That sucker was right in my face. Good point was NO FEAR. This has been a very weird day for sure. Its now late at night but I will have problems sleeping. Have lately.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Craig. 

This resurfacing is a great opportunity to integrate it. You did great proclaiming you're stronger than it. What you did there is what I believe this work is all about: embracing your expansion. 

Nice work. You acknowledged it and responded. Also great that you felt no fear. That's a huge moment, I'm happy for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for that guys. I was going to go back to basics for a week or so because my concentration is still poor. I tend to be impatient and feel I need to slow it down and take it in more, be more present and open. Still have a life time of issues to get through. Be gentle with yourselves.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thats cool Akurabis, In my childhood , was suffering asthma, one night a large black figure walked into my room. I went so cold and froze, it then leaned over and stared at me close up. I could not move. The other day I was using a guided meditation online and after getting into a deep state of relax , the face was once again up close. There were no features as such but as I proclaimed I was stronger than it and it could not harm me it instantly turned to like smoke and faded. Through the smoke I moved through and could start to see a dull blueish light , in two parts of the shape of eyes or wings. It was hard to make out.This is only the second time I have had to deal with it and it seems to be past me now. The rest of that meditation was shakey and I was having to try to go back to where I was but it was hard so I left it for now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just had a better meditation, met a guide and then my higher self, not a clear message this time. No problem , saw a purple mass started as pin point then en massed me. I loved the way it felt. What I did notice was I had very rapid eye movement just before I saw this. Things were clearer after I pushed through the eye thing. As I started to slip back the eye thing would start again. I sort of had fun with it. Is it normal?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

craig, the fact that you were afraid of the black figure is not an indication that the black figure was malicious. saying that you are stronger than it now implies that you still see it, to this day, as something bad or harmful. your description of it sounds like someone checking on you, it sounds positive. 

maybe the memory resurfaced for you to see and understand it. what you did was pushing it away again. and it still looks like a frightening memory, so the fear wasn't dismantled. 

in meditation your filters relaxed and the memories kept locked (out of fear) bubble up to the surface.

what is the point of meditation if not to know yourself? that's how you know yourself. by looking at what comes up without judging it or trying to control the process. if you are looking to accomplish something specific - be it a state or feel or whatever - you are not going to know yourself, you are after your mind's idea of yourself. 

i think you had a hard time meditating afterwards because the fear of losing control again. one is supposed to lose control and become allowing in meditation. that's the whole point of it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks to all for the advice. I live somewhat isolated and have only my dog to talk with. He still hasnt talked back but thats cool. These forums have been a wealth of advice.! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now