Lioness

Why don't people really see me?

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Why don't people really see me?

Hello!


I am wondering why I'm a match to people who don't want to see me? Like seeing my reality, my experiences, my perspective? I feel like I meet many people that are just not interested or only want to talk about themselves. Not asking how I'm really doing or what my life is like. If they ask, they don't stop for long to listen. I am longing to talk about my experiences and perspective, and to be seen and heard in that, as well as experience sharing reality. Why is this you think? Thankful for answers x

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This is why we have a forum!

I've seen some of the most weird questions being answered on the forums but not in life😊

How is your day going Lioness?

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On 4/27/2019 at 4:22 PM, Lioness said:

Why don't people really see me?

Hello!


I am wondering why I'm a match to people who don't want to see me? Like seeing my reality, my experiences, my perspective? I feel like I meet many people that are just not interested or only want to talk about themselves. Not asking how I'm really doing or what my life is like. If they ask, they don't stop for long to listen. I am longing to talk about my experiences and perspective, and to be seen and heard in that, as well as experience sharing reality. Why is this you think? Thankful for answers x

Hi Lioness...

I think I know what you mean. It can be very easy to feel like no one cares, no one listens, no one even thinks to ask. I will say... and please keep in mind, I do not know you, or anything about you, so I am not saying that you are like this... but quite often, I find that people who feel small, invisible, or marginalized don't actually do a lot of trying. Again, I don't know you, so you may be the type of person that shouts your desire to be seen and heard from the rooftop. But... I just know, from my own experience, what a lot of people want is for people to... "just see me for who I am." As if to say, "I want to be able to be super polite, make no waves, never raise a single eyebrow of conflict... but I still just want people to take notice of me and ask me how I am. 

It is just another one of those brutal realities that if you want to be heard... start talking. Don't necessarily wait until someone asks you how your day is going... just start talking. And if the person (people) you are talking to don't seem to care... stop talking to them, and start talking to someone else. I just watched a video by Teal on "Your Excellence." I highly encourage you to go watch it. You might be trying to squeeze blood from a stone with some of your peers. If the people you are around are not looking for what you've got to offer... no big deal... just keep looking until you find someone, or some people who do. 

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I think self-preoccupation is pretty common. I do it, for sure, and I see it in the people around me too.

 

I reason that it's a pretty big reality in life that we all carry a lot of stuff in our inner worlds, our thoughts and preoccupations, and ultimately, all the issues we all carry around with us are really distracting. It's tough to take an interest in someone else's life if you're dealing with, like... a self-esteem issue, a relationship issue, a work issue, money problems, worrying about the future, worrying about the past... y'know, all that sort of thing. For many, dealing with one's own demons always takes precedence, just because when anyone has Demons it's simply the biggest thing in their world. I can't blame 'em. That's the nature of stress and trauma; it doesn't encourage easy interconnectedness. There's a lot of stress and trauma in the world.

It's not easy to find people who are interested and trusty and who match up well with you, but all anyone can do is search. Nurture the types of relationships you want by being yourself as much as you can, showing your own care and interest, just with anyone you talk to. Most people won't be a great match (everyone's different), but when you do find those people who're on your wavelength, take care to value them, reciprocate that care and interest, and stay friends if you can. Value the good matches, try not to stress too much about the bad ones, there's always going to be more bad matches than good ones. Takes a lot of time and trial and error, in my experience, but... definately can be done. Build a good, diverse circle of friends and relations, who care and listen (usually all with their own strengths and weaknesses in their own areas). Just gotta, y'know, build up to it. Incremental process.

That said, what are your experiences and perspectives that you want to share?

Edited by Done Now
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It's absolutely normal though painful, I know: the average level of consciousness is extremely low for most humans. That means they experience bliss out of selfishness, pleasure out of violence, protection via ignorance and power via abuse.

These people simply belong to a lower dimension than you originally do.

If it becomes too painful, do not be afraid not to "belong" to them, you can cocoon, learn and heal at the same time.

But are you really in need of a healing?

You are not sick hon.

These humans are. Let them be recycled for we won't let Earth be destroyed -Earth is NOT a human property and never was!!

Let me give you a big hug dear ❤️🦋

Deneb

 

 

 

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Lioness, Are you genuinely interested in who the other people are and learning from them? Do you listen to them? It becomes a mutual thing, a genuine learning from each other. A shared reality. And if it isn't - if you are trying to learn and they aren't, then the other person is stuck in an ego. So walk away???

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I get this on a very deep level and I really wish that I knew the answer to this. I don’t know what you’ve tried but I’ve tried a ton of stuff and even stopped taking care of myself in order to take care of others. This is such a difficult thing for me. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and I see you. I truly do. I wish I could give you a hug. These feelings are very intense. You are not alone ❤️

Some people are terrified of caring about others because when they do no one cares about them in return. Other people were never taught how to be present with other people so they don’t know how and then some other people simply don’t care. 

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8 hours ago, Malachi said:

Some people are terrified of caring about others because when they do no one cares about them in return. Other people were never taught how to be present with other people so they don’t know how and then some other people simply don’t care. 

Thank you so much for sharing this. This makes so much sense 

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8 hours ago, Malachi said:

I get this on a very deep level and I really wish that I knew the answer to this. I don’t know what you’ve tried but I’ve tried a ton of stuff and even stopped taking care of myself in order to take care of others. This is such a difficult thing for me. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and I see you. I truly do. I wish I could give you a hug. These feelings are very intense. You are not alone ❤️

♥️ I hear you too. I’ve struggled with that as well. Its not always easy to put the self first whilst still caring about others especially when they don’t care back 😞 I’ve cut myself off of caring for some people who just never care back and I feel so much better. It still hurts but I feel less emotional and out of control about it because I’m taking action to care about myself. That I am actually there for my self. It took a lot of courage but after realizing that certain people will never care or simply can’t at this point I realized I’m reallly doing nobody a favor if the help or love doesn’t feel good to me. I realized a lot of time I was only helping or caring because I wanted to be cared about which is really narcissistic. So instead of trying to make certain people care about me who simply don’t want to or can’t I meet that need now directly by going to people who do and appreciating them. 

 

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I would say it’s a blessing when people don’t see you. Just find people who do and stop trying to prove your worth to those who can’t and don’t want to see it.

 

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No disrespect to the original poster of this thread, but follow through and being present, literally, will go a long way towards having people take you more seriously. Lioness wrote this post and never came back.  

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Hello everyone! I was really happy today when I saw that all of you had answered. I'm feeling moved. ❤️

On 4/28/2019 at 5:32 PM, Pecos said:

Is there something about you that people would be interested in knowing?

I hope so! Haha, and I do think so 😊

On 4/29/2019 at 12:01 AM, Garnet said:

This is why we have a forum!

I've seen some of the most weird questions being answered on the forums but not in life😊

How is your day going Lioness?

"How is your day going?" Wow, that is so nice to hear! I'm a bit surprised how good this feels to hear. It's going pretty good, thank you. I've had a few heartfelt moments with my grandma and a friend on the phone. And I have cried, which was nice, since it was a long time since I did that. And I've had sun on my face :) (North of Sweden - It's been a long winter). Thank you for your consideration Garnet! xx

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On 4/30/2019 at 2:31 AM, Dolmetscher007 said:

Hi Lioness...

I think I know what you mean. It can be very easy to feel like no one cares, no one listens, no one even thinks to ask. I will say... and please keep in mind, I do not know you, or anything about you, so I am not saying that you are like this... but quite often, I find that people who feel small, invisible, or marginalized don't actually do a lot of trying. Again, I don't know you, so you may be the type of person that shouts your desire to be seen and heard from the rooftop. But... I just know, from my own experience, what a lot of people want is for people to... "just see me for who I am." As if to say, "I want to be able to be super polite, make no waves, never raise a single eyebrow of conflict... but I still just want people to take notice of me and ask me how I am. 

It is just another one of those brutal realities that if you want to be heard... start talking. Don't necessarily wait until someone asks you how your day is going... just start talking. And if the person (people) you are talking to don't seem to care... stop talking to them, and start talking to someone else. I just watched a video by Teal on "Your Excellence." I highly encourage you to go watch it. You might be trying to squeeze blood from a stone with some of your peers. If the people you are around are not looking for what you've got to offer... no big deal... just keep looking until you find someone, or some people who do. 

Hi Dolmetscher! Thank you for taking your time to write me. Wow, I really enjoy your frank, logical kind of message: "if you want to be heard...start talking". I'm getting a bit emotional as I'm writing it actually(like can it be that simple?). People can't hear you if you're not talking, kind of thing(obviously). I'm not really a "small" person, usually takes up space etc, so I do feel like I let myself be seen but not always getting it back..

Though I think there is something to this sincere and obvious truth. So I think I will try it out. Try to speak more. And see who responds. I was also happy that you didn't take what person I was for granted when giving this advice, since it probably wouldn't have resonated with me as much then. Thinking of the saying: if you're strong you have to be kind. ❤️ I have seen the video on Excellence, really enjoyed it. Thank you xx

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