hanak

not being listened to

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not being listened to

i feel like i am not being listened to or understood in my life right now. my family completely ignore my emotional needs despite having stated them over and over again. i don’t know what to do because i don't want to cut them out of my life and i know that i am not listening to parts of myself. i’m not listening to myself and i don’t really know how to listen to myself. i don’t know what it is that is causing such a horrible situation for me. i don’t have any idea what i am supposed to do to. how am i supposed to listen to myself? how am i supposed to un-suppress all of the things i've suppressed? it feels like they don’t really care about me at all. it feels really lonely. i just want someone to listen to me. why won’t anyone listen to me. 

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Slow your thoughts down and reduce some of the chaotic thoughts occurring.  If you don't want to cut the family out at this time, then don't and reduce some of the burdens weighing on you.  Do they provide for needs other than the emotional ones? I

You say that the family ignores your emotional needs. How do you visualize them meeting those needs? Do you believe that they can provide for those needs in that way you just visualized without neglecting their own needs. Looking for conflicts between those needs.  Might help to list out your emotional needs (perhaps some examples) and how you expected them to be met and how they were not met. Three separate columns.  Example.

1. You wanted to talk about an argument with the boss today.

2. You expected to discuss it right now. 

3.Instead, you were left alone for an hour because of  the family cat had a vet appointment and you never did get to discuss your problem that night.

This is kinda like and action - reaction analysis. Next step is to see if both parties reactions are reasonably. If they are, well,  that's a conflict that may require some work to mete out.

Hope this is a start.

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hey, don't lose your head over it, you're with us now, at least. Can you tell me more about what you communicate to your parents and how they react? Are they literally ignoring you, or are they just misunderstanding you? You should know, that if you have feelings that your parents suppressed the hell out of themselves, they'll be really frickin' terrified to engage with them, and it might look like they don't care, but they're really just scared to the bones.

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We are here for you , hanak

Could you tell us a little bit more what happened? What are some of the relationship difficulties you are going through? Could you be a little bit more specific and give us an example?

 

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I had to disconnect emotionally from my parents a long time ago as they were abusive. I still talk to them once in a while but mostly about the weather and what I did lately (really vaguely and impersonal). To be honest, I don't regret my decision to have disconnected myself from them as I feel much better and feel like I can finally breath. It was seriously a liberating decision!

If you connect with your higher self and ask the question, the answer will come naturally. You just have to trust yourself that the answer you will receive will be valid.

Sometimes, some relationships can be mended and, at other times, not. It is important to recognize the difference in order to make a conscious decision. 

Hope it can be of some help...

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I want to give you a hug. Han has one I like :big-hug-yahoo-emoticon:

Why don't you listento your needs anymore? To punish your family via punishing yourself.

You are currently doing this because you hope your family will eventually change and meet your needs (again/ever?)

You are still able to meet your own needs, this is just a phase you are going through and I would suggest some more communication with your surroundings.

Sometimes you have to accept that a family member -or even your whole family- will never be able to meet your needs.

Hard to face and accept but I am currently having a new theory: the more we use and abuse our emotional brain the more we may become "needy". The emotional brain is meant to function as an equal to the rational one, wich is a true ascended brain.

Just had the idea while typing these lines.

Remember that when we complain too much we can become p.i.t.a, that works for all of us!

Is that a reason to stay silent about one's needs?

Of course not.

Do we have to/can we have all our meets met by others all the time?

Of course not either.

 

love and cheers,

Deneb

 

Edited by Deneb
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On 4/22/2019 at 4:07 AM, Han Solo said:

hey, don't lose your head over it, you're with us now, at least. Can you tell me more about what you communicate to your parents and how they react? Are they literally ignoring you, or are they just misunderstanding you? You should know, that if you have feelings that your parents suppressed the hell out of themselves, they'll be really frickin' terrified to engage with them, and it might look like they don't care, but they're really just scared to the bones.

I realized this with my dad. My dad gets very quiet and reserved so he has a flight response but my mom has the fight response and starts freaking out. It took me a while to realize they were just terrified. 

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