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SnowCone

Gender Dysphoria

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Gender Dysphoria

i am a mtf transgender woman from massachusetts, im 23 years old. and for the longest time i felt like a stranger in my own body. your video on transgenders is correct but it only goes halfway. gender dysphoria destroys my soul. and each waking moment of every day i feel like a stranger in my own body. i wake up and look in the mirror and see a stranger. someone i am unable to identify with or learn to love. i feel like my feminine spirit is trapped in this male body and i have no way to cope with the dysphoria, the anxiety, the depression, and the stress. I have a bad drug habit, but the drugs dont even help. i want to be a woman more than anything and i feel denied, seperated, unable to move further spiritually because i am virtually incapable of loving myself. i cant learn to love a body with a dick attached to it. or a body that is filled with testosterone. i have been in a state of suffering for so long i feel as though i can never be happy unless i be a woman. the thing i want most in life, my greatest need. my greatest desire and want. i am unable to be around women because of the intense heavy dysphoria i constantly feel within me. my palms get sweaty, my spine feels like ice, and my heart feels like it turns black. my greatest need in life is the need for self acceptance and self love. and i feel like i will never achieve these things so long as i am looked at as a boy and treated like a boy and remain in the body of a boy. please make a second video on how to overcome dysphoria. i taught myself how to lucid dream just so i could dream that i was a girl living my life. i am filled with so much self hatred and no self confidence that i cant hold down a job, im constantly depressed and suicidal and cut myself. i have terrible relationships with others who cant seem to help me or get dragged down by my intense hatred and negativity. i dont see any way out of this other than suicide so i can reincarnate as a girl. 

i feel like my feminine spirit is dying to come out and express itself and learn about itself. i feel like i was meant to be born a woman every day i live. no amount of meditation, diet, or exercise will help me. my one greatest need in this life, my one wish my one want above all else. to live life as a woman. goes unmet. i feel like my only way out is suicide. i dont want to kill myself. but i truly feel as though nothing will help me except truly living my life honestly and authentically as a woman. living the rest of this life in male form is a worse punishment than death in my eyes.

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Is it possible to live an alternate reality in your mind as a woman?  Everyone has their own universe along with the universe we all agree exists to each other (matter, energy, space, time).  You physically exist in this physical universe but what you think about is all up to you.

Remember that as a spiritual being you chose to come here as a man for some reason.  Maybe you were a woman in your last incarnation and that memory is bleeding through.  Of course you can choose to be a woman in your next incarnation as well.

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