Cydias

Letting go of toxic parents

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Letting go of toxic parents

I've wanted to ask myself this question seriously for a while now, but seeing as it would require a radical change in my own perception of my identity, I've been avoiding it. Both of my parents are doctors, as well as neglectful and abusive alcoholics. My mother died in 2012, and my intuition awoke a few months before that to tell me it was going to happen before it did. She played the victim pretty hardcore and had me doing the same with multiple visits to the doctor for bullshit diagnoses that were actually the result of childhood trauma from their divorce battle, using us as pawns in their war. Dad could be physically abusive at his limits, although he never hit me, I can recall being thrown in my room rather aggressively a few times. The worst of it, however, is that they were both mean drunks. I can recall both of them telling me they wished I was dead at their drunkest moments, on separate occasions. A growing part of me thinks I should leave my family behind and live my own life. Input on this would be appreciated. 

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One foul mouthed, drunken episode leaves its mark. We carry traumatic experiences our entire lives until we address them.

Pulling away from people without boundaries is difficult. Turning our back on our family of origin is ten times more difficult.

Good luck with your journey.

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Maybe you should try and distance yourself from them NOW they are still alive wich doesn't have to mean you completely erase them  from your inner autobiography (wich would definitely put a toll on your sense of "self").

You said this is a growing part of you -the wish and need to leave them behind- and I think this part knows exactly what to do.

 

love and cheers,

Deneb

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