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Disorganized attachment.

Hey guys


I don’t think Teal has much information on disorganized attatchement. And feeling like you have a hole or a crater in your heart. 

This could also be an anxious attachment I’m actually not entirely sure.

I have to say that 3 weeks ago I found connection with my self. But I didn’t understand it. I made mistakes. I was happy I could feel the pain in my heart. But... I was upset at how much presence it needed. I made a big mistake and betrayed my self.  I am not disaociated again from my self and it is unbelievably painful. I don’t know if anyone here knows how that feels but I made all this progress and I fives up. I am trying my best to reconnect with my self. But for the love of god I need some fucking help. 


Teal does not not have much info on disorganized attachment imo. Can anyone help with this I’m struggling to connect with my self at all here and have no communication with my self. 


Please fucking help. 


Edited by Greg21

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Hi, Greg. What all areas have you looked into of Teal's? Maybe there's something that instead of reading it word-for-word, if you possibly read it and thought a little deeper about how it maybe pertained to your specific issue(s) it would be better suited for your needs. I hear you asking for help, and I do hope that you receive the help that it is you're searching for... Sometimes the help that we're searching for is in just the earth that surrounds our very being, and can be found in the light of day by escaping our homes and becoming closer to the outside world. Technology and today's world of being constantly on our computers and phones are not always the best way to connect with our inner souls. Achieving inner peace and clearing our minds of all things evil can be accomplished through the natural elements of the world itself, as it is only then that we gravitate back to our natural form and environment bringing us to our beautiful and calming state. This might sound silly, but maybe try some evening walks to watch the sunset, and learn to appreciate every color you see in the evening sky. Get a bike, and take some bike rides, go hiking to some waterfalls, etc. Even when living in a city, there are beautiful places to escape to, architecture to see, and lights glowing everywhere. Beauty can surround us no matter the location, and this open our very being to inner peace. Without this peace, we are unable to accept almost all things as it is the foundation of our souls.

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Something is nagging you. What is it?

Sound like a mixture of fear and confusion.

Expectations? Too much, to quickly? Slow down and do a little retrospect. Listen to all the aspects of yourself no matter how painful. One by one. Walk through them. Each aspect may have some validity ('That perspective has a point') but how important is it in the big picture, right now?  Priotize what you can. One step at a time.  Each one adds up.



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Hey there,

You may not find a Teal vid called "disorganized attachment" but you sure can find many many vids from her related to relationship with oneself and others...

But since you need some kind of immediate help I would like you to first remember love is your natural birth right.

I know about this feeling of having "a crater" in your heart wich is the expression of something that highly worries you but is still dormant in your inconscious.

(Please keep in mind (in case you have empath or channelling tendancies) this anxiety may also belong to someone else you are linked with if the bound is very strong.)


But in most case scenarios one's anxiety belongs to oneself. You said "anxious attachment". I know that one way too well lol.

In my case my "separation anxiety" comes from the numerous losses of loved ones to death that lead me to think "you may love them with all your heart and they may be extremely faithful to you but in best case scenario you will lose them for all humans die". This was a true problem for me with my 2 latest romantic relationships. (of course, I was the one  to "break up")

I used to feel this hole in my heart with my ex almost all the time to the point it was becoming invalidationg and honestly suffocating.

I sense my "ex" (I know we still share a bound) is highly disconnected from his own emotions especially the ones related to loss.

When we were living together I know now I was often wearing his very own fear of losing me, even if he pretends "death is part of life" etc... He totally split himself and at the time I wasn't even realizing I was holding the burden of his own sadness and void to add to mine for he had  buried many things very deeply.

Back to you.

What made you become anxious of attachment? Can you trace the feeling back to its original belief?

What is, what are your beliefs and worsest fears regarding love and attachment?


love and cheers,


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So the issue is right now I’m struggling understand and communicating with my self. I had a lot of connection built up inside me but it’s like I started to cope with positivity and presence. Then I started bulldozing my self and move further and further in avoidance until I lost the closeness I had with my self. Mentally I can no longer really pin point anything. However I did end up release essentially all of my negative core beliefs on a mental level. The issue is I am not able to do CP work with my self. 


This is is why I have a session on Monday with Devyn Lish. I know that the mental aspect is not enough.  I have to do the CP process with facilitation to get to the energetic aspects that I already let go of doing corebelief work and parts work. 


Some of my energy did shift but obviously not all of it the core is still there becuase it’s energetic and I can’t get to it all with mental work. 



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For anyone who's not sure if they have the disorganized attachment style or not:

This part is where Teal talks about disorganized attachment (having both avoidant and anxious attachment styles) Go to 22:12 if you want to watch her talk about all 3 styles.

Another good video

These 2 videos also helped make it clear that I in fact have both attachment styles: video 1 video 2

Edited by Alex Shepps

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