Qnsmama

Loving an avoidant

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Loving an avoidant

I love someone deeply who can’t be loving or show their love. On a daily basis I get blocked and pushed away because I show my feelings or get angry with her lack of them. I don’t know how to fix this at all and I’m starting to feel so hopeless and hating myself and life 

how can I help her ?

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OK, so since I've often been callled "this" (avoidant) by my loved ones, maybe I can help you on the matter.

If one goes angry at me because I do not seem (do not seem) to care or love etc... That hurts a lot. And makes me sad or angry towards the person thinking I am "this way".

Also, I recently broke up with my abusive ex for he was the one blaming me of not giving a f... about anything anymore while in fact he was the one who cheated on me.

But back to you and your relationship, I hope my tips will help you:

Do NOT assume she feels nothing just because it looks like it.

The more you "act out" (like showing your anger at her, too much texting or stalking on social medias, waiting for her to be your primary source of love while this one should be yourself first etc) the more she will go the other way.

Could you tell us more about your relationship?

cheers

Deneb

Edited by Deneb

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Do you literally get blocked and pushed away or is that a metaphor?

@Qnsmama if you really want to improve it's going to take some serious step forward. 

Hope we will hear from you again!

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