Tessa Rae

What Would You Do?

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What Would You Do?

Hi! I'm Tessa :) I used to be pretty active on these forums due to being a survivor of physical and emotional abuse, insane health problems, sexual abuse, etc all that good stuff! And by good stuff I mean the fiery flames of hell! LOL

Teal has been one of the lights that made it possible so that I am still alive today, and not only alive, but thriving!

Those who have survived abuse are often left with a gift in pattern recognition, specifically of picking up on subtle cues that could lead someone to be abusive down the line. While red flags look glaring to people like me, they may be missed by the general population who have not been through such abuse, or have coped with such abuse differently.

My question today is to see how other people in this community would handle this situation... I didn't think it was controversial at first, but there seems to be a wide range of responses within the groups I have already asked.. That being said, the people I have asked have a different way of relating to the world than many Tealer's, so I'm coming here to gain more of these perspectives because I find the perspectives here are generally more fleshed out than the typical narrative of the collective, which easily falls into a vibration of powerlessness.

I had an experience lately where I thought this guy would be a good friend, but pretty soon after we started talking he started showing signs of narcissism at worse, or at the very least, unconscious misogyny. His inflated ego quickly became quite annoying and there was no space for any authentic connection, only his own self concept and his fantasy of me, whatever it is that drew him to talk to me in the first place.

I kept quiet, thinking he might get bored of talking about how great he was, but he didn't. So I eventually got to a point where he was talking about how he has superior neuroplasticity and I was like, "do you realize that's acting like you're better than other people?"

I called him out on acting like he was superior, and he proceeded to lose his shit and be super mean to me.

He began with stereotypical abusive behavior where he says, "I'm sorry you feel that way."

Then, he proceeded to totally 'switch' to an evil altar ego (typical of those who are capable of abuse) and said I was lucky I had someone like him in my life because anyone else would have stopped talking to me ages ago! LOL! (the thug in me is like bitch, you should have)

I said, your apology sucks, you don't have a right to apologise for how I'm feeling, and you're honestly a douchebag. I stopped talking to him, he never apologized for his own actions, so that was the end of that... right?

Anyways, there's another girl at this place who is pretty new. I have seen her and smiled here and there and we've talked some. She seems pretty nice.. in some ways, she reminds me of a past self. I used to be more shy, and super nice, (haha I'm still nice most of the time, I swear! LOL) and I see that in her.

Well, I saw her the other day, walking out with this guy. She gave him a hug and I was like 💀.

Now, again, I don't know how long they have been talking but I wouldn't be surprised if it wouldn't have been that long.. In the note the guy sent to me originally, he said he was looking for friends and it was hard for him to make friends here. I invited him to a group chat with another friend who is transgender and honestly I don't think he ever talked to her again . So by "friends" he means get some of that sweet p00n 😛 😳

Anyways, I saw them walking out and I have a baaad feeling.

I'm sure we've all been there at some point... We see someone we care about dating / crushing on someone and there are major red flags. My 'what would you do' does not apply to this situation, but really to all situations involving a friend and a significant other with red flags. Do you speak up? Do you keep quiet no matter how awful the situation seems to be? How do you determine when it is worth speaking up about?

I hope this girl has enough self worth to realize who is worth sticking with, and who is worth walking away from... ❤️ I would love to hear your thoughts this Valentine's season!

❤️ Tessa Rae ❤️ 

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Narcissism runs just as deep in females. It's a problem with our culture, really. I'd be fine with femme narcs if all they wanted was sex! But nooo, they have to want money, instead! LOL! As a man, our entire self-worth is wrapped up with what kind of job we have and how much money we make (at least, according to society). Narc women look at a man and just see a bank account. (Women don't know how easy they have it, assuming they want to have sex!)

But no, God's gotta pull a fast one on us! He can't make men and women want the same thing, he's gotta make 'em want something different. And while you're jumping from one leg to the next, he's up there laughing his sick f#*$ing ass off! He's a tight-ass! He's a sadist!

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Honestly, talk to your friend. You already had enough red flags, so now what you have to do is to find the right words with her.

I saw your topic yesterday and if you read my latest's, you'll see I was in a relationship with a narcissistic psychopath that is still impacting my life one way or another . When I saw some of my so-called friends "side" with him and be absolutely unable to see through the real him, jeez... one more shock.

So... Now is the time to talk to your friend and even if she seems to reject your advices, at least you will have tried to spare her the abuse so many of us went through with these psychopathic douches!

 

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22 hours ago, Broken_Mirror33 said:

Narcissism runs just as deep in females. It's a problem with our culture, really. I'd be fine with femme narcs if all they wanted was sex! But nooo, they have to want money, instead! LOL! As a man, our entire self-worth is wrapped up with what kind of job we have and how much money we make (at least, according to society). Narc women look at a man and just see a bank account. (Women don't know how easy they have it, assuming they want to have sex!)

But no, God's gotta pull a fast one on us! He can't make men and women want the same thing, he's gotta make 'em want something different. And while you're jumping from one leg to the next, he's up there laughing his sick f#*$ing ass off! He's a tight-ass! He's a sadist!

Of course it does. It is just that our society tends to see us females inherently unable to do harm on purpose, wich has something to do with our ability to give life in the collective consciousness.

But oh yeah, true female psychos, LOL

Google/wiki this one and enjoy, it is incredible:

Her name was Belle Guiness.

She could indeed be in the book of the same name for everything she did.

 

love,

 

Deneb

PS/edit: it is actually spelled Belle Gunness

 

Edited by Deneb
spell!
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Hello Tessa!

I have no advice at this moment but would like to wish you and everyone happy Valentine's!

Thank you for stopping by,

Garnet

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

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21 hours ago, Broken_Mirror33 said:

Narcissism runs just as deep in females. It's a problem with our culture, really. I'd be fine with femme narcs if all they wanted was sex! But nooo, they have to want money, instead! LOL! As a man, our entire self-worth is wrapped up with what kind of job we have and how much money we make (at least, according to society). Narc women look at a man and just see a bank account. (Women don't know how easy they have it, assuming they want to have sex!)

But no, God's gotta pull a fast one on us! He can't make men and women want the same thing, he's gotta make 'em want something different. And while you're jumping from one leg to the next, he's up there laughing his sick f#*$ing ass off! He's a tight-ass! He's a sadist!

Didn't see that one at first, The Devil's Advocate is one of my favs and probably one of the best movies ever made about the human ego!!

😁

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Well, it's a delicate balance isn't it. If you tell a friend what they don't want to hear they may stop being a friend or not come to you when they really need to. Maybe this friend is still learning certain lessons in this direction. All you can do is make a gentle suggestion, feel her out to see if she is receptive to hearing your opinion. If not, I would clam it up and wait. She will likely need you later if she stays with him. 

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Hi Tessa, how's that been since you posted?

On 2/13/2019 at 5:50 PM, Tessa Rae said:

I kept quiet, thinking he might get bored of talking about how great he was, but he didn't. So I eventually got to a point where he was talking about how he has superior neuroplasticity and I was like, "do you realize that's acting like you're better than other people?"

I called him out on acting like he was superior, and he proceeded to lose his shit and be super mean to me.

He began with stereotypical abusive behavior where he says, "I'm sorry you feel that way."

Then, he proceeded to totally 'switch' to an evil altar ego (typical of those who are capable of abuse) and said I was lucky I had someone like him in my life because anyone else would have stopped talking to me ages ago! LOL! (the thug in me is like bitch, you should have)

I said, your apology sucks, you don't have a right to apologise for how I'm feeling, and you're honestly a douchebag

I just re-read your post and this part ⬆️ bothers me greatly. 

How is your friend doing?

 

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