Dannika

Spiritual Stagnation

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Spiritual Stagnation

I recently moved away from my familiar surroundings due to circumstances to a small village with not a lot of spirituality nearby.  How do you develop your spiritual journey when you don't have access to a community. I also don't have Facebook, also due to circumstances. I am a member to some forums but all my spirituality comes from things online.    

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39 minutes ago, Deneb said:

When you say "all my spirituality comes from  things online", what do you mean exactly?

cheers

Deneb

Forums..

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Dannika, you've mentioned spirituality things came to your from online communities, I would reversed this, you wouldn't noticed these communities if your inner soul didn't vibrated that thirst at first, in other words you see and noticing things around you what is inside you already, just in smaller letters, it was much more information but your free will chooses to follow this pattern, so you're here, 

This how I see your picture 

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Deneb: The online world for me has always been a world that makes you more disposable. I don't have a sense of belonging with online forums. They are nice to get info and vent or ask for some advice, but there is no closeness for me in that. I am one of those people, and maybe there are more that, in order to feel close or belong, I need to see, smell, hear and touch them. I have been online for many years and you Develop online friendships that seem close but then people disappear and you don't know what happened, death, illness etc. At least when one of my friends dies or has an accident I hear about it. Some say: Some contact is better than nothing but it is a struggle for me.

Vincent: I understand I need the online community and that I am in the online community for a reason but the fact go the matter is, that I am starving for spiritual people around me or some human contact. I miss people in my life I can hug and just be around being goofy. I had to leave the place I lived it. It was toxic and I do not regret I made the move. I have a lovely house and a neighbour that I can go to if I need to. I can even go to a church if I want human contact but I am not religious and I only like a church when it is open for visitors and you can sit there and just 'be'. 

 

Everyone I know is so at a distant, uncomfortable in hugging or connecting. I am starving for connection and I know I can't force those things. If I could, I would go to Philia or another community and spend some time there, but I can't for various reasons and that is ok too. It is for a reason this feeling is in my life. It is just hard having to have moved to a place where I don't know anyone and build a new network.

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First, be grateful for your online communities! How hard would it be to move into a small town if you didn't have the internet to connect to sources of spiritual fellowship? That's how it was 50 years ago. I had to go looking for people who shared any of my feelings and beliefs. Coop food stores, music, dance, gardening. environmental issues were all areas where I met like minded people. Even church later on. Churches are often tied up with institutional concerns and fundamentalist orthdoxy but if you begin to talk about spirituality in church those who don't feel comfortable with the dogma will be attracted to you.

If you don't find a community to be a part of, start one!

 

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3 hours ago, Dannika said:

Deneb: The online world for me has always been a world that makes you more disposable. I don't have a sense of belonging with online forums. They are nice to get info and vent or ask for some advice, but there is no closeness for me in that. I am one of those people, and maybe there are more that, in order to feel close or belong, I need to see, smell, hear and touch them. I have been online for many years and you Develop online friendships that seem close but then people disappear and you don't know what happened, death, illness etc. At least when one of my friends dies or has an accident I hear about it. Some say: Some contact is better than nothing but it is a struggle for me.

Vincent: I understand I need the online community and that I am in the online community for a reason but the fact go the matter is, that I am starving for spiritual people around me or some human contact. I miss people in my life I can hug and just be around being goofy. I had to leave the place I lived it. It was toxic and I do not regret I made the move. I have a lovely house and a neighbour that I can go to if I need to. I can even go to a church if I want human contact but I am not religious and I only like a church when it is open for visitors and you can sit there and just 'be'. 

 

Everyone I know is so at a distant, uncomfortable in hugging or connecting. I am starving for connection and I know I can't force those things. If I could, I would go to Philia or another community and spend some time there, but I can't for various reasons and that is ok too. It is for a reason this feeling is in my life. It is just hard having to have moved to a place where I don't know anyone and build a new network.

ok, I get you. Been there actually. 

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14 hours ago, Dannika said:

Deneb: The online world for me has always been a world that makes you more disposable. I don't have a sense of belonging with online forums. They are nice to get info and vent or ask for some advice, but there is no closeness for me in that. I am one of those people, and maybe there are more that, in order to feel close or belong, I need to see, smell, hear and touch them. I have been online for many years and you Develop online friendships that seem close but then people disappear and you don't know what happened, death, illness etc. At least when one of my friends dies or has an accident I hear about it. Some say: Some contact is better than nothing but it is a struggle for me.

Vincent: I understand I need the online community and that I am in the online community for a reason but the fact go the matter is, that I am starving for spiritual people around me or some human contact. I miss people in my life I can hug and just be around being goofy. I had to leave the place I lived it. It was toxic and I do not regret I made the move. I have a lovely house and a neighbour that I can go to if I need to. I can even go to a church if I want human contact but I am not religious and I only like a church when it is open for visitors and you can sit there and just 'be'. 

 

Everyone I know is so at a distant, uncomfortable in hugging or connecting. I am starving for connection and I know I can't force those things. If I could, I would go to Philia or another community and spend some time there, but I can't for various reasons and that is ok too. It is for a reason this feeling is in my life. It is just hard having to have moved to a place where I don't know anyone and build a new network.

Dannika, what you said about the forums is very true. Having to move around so many times that I don't even remember the number and staring new life over and over, I can relate a lot.

I can tell everyone who is in the same boat right now that it really takes putting your best foot forward when starting in a new place. And when it comes to new relationships - they also have to put their best foot forward,  not just you, otherwise you can only take it so far yourself.

I noticed I've been following the same patterings when it comes to new contacts. I am not saying  that this is the healthy way to go about it but somehow it got me though the years of migration. 

Pay attention to your own schedule. Where and when you go the most often: groceries on Monday, shopping on Tuesday, yoga on Wednesday, laundromat on Thursday, beauty salon on Friday, gym on Saturday,  church on Sunday, lol You name it. Always ALWAYS pay attention to the people around you, for ex, if your preference is to go to the same store , hood chances are there is probably the same cashier works there every time. Wow.. over time you begin recognize familiar faces and ask each other how families are doing. At our previous place we had one cashier like that at Wal-Mart working night shifts and we ended up not just shopping there but also went through hardships together and gave the woman moral support when her husband was in the hospital with kidney failure. Yes, that particular relationship was temporary and in the past now, who knows, but that's to me was an actual CONTACT in a physical form as you, Dannika talking about, and not someone anonymous behind the screen with possibly different gender than they appear. Besides, it's feels good to go somewhere and  just say hello to Mrs. Wanda or Mr. Joe (note, if you have children they may not be too happy how you streach your shopping time, so give them something to read)

So as you can see it is very possible to take a situation like this to the next level: exchange phone numbers, FB accounts, or other social media just in case, meet up outside the place/work setting, which is what I had also done in the past and it works wonders. 

The best thing about it is that the relationship begins with something you already have in common, hence the reason you are in the same space to begin with,  which gives both sides the opportunity to start a conversation, ask questions and begin to know each other without any particular attachment other than it feels good to speak to the person because if it doesn't, then it's harder to progress from there.

Edited by Garnet
Added thoughts/language

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1 hour ago, Garnet said:

I noticed I've been following the same patterings when it comes to new contacts. I am not saying that this is the healthy way to go about it but somehow it got me though the years of migration. 

I just remembered about the fungal/slime intelligence and came across this video, so maybe my theory is not that wrong. Curious to hear your thoughts!

https://youtu.be/2UxGrde1NDA

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12 hours ago, Garnet said:

Dannika, what you said about the forums is very true. Having to move around so many times that I don't even remember the number and staring new life over and over, I can relate a lot.

I can tell everyone who is in the same boat right now that it really takes putting your best foot forward when starting in a new place. And when it comes to new relationships - they also have to put their best foot forward,  not just you, otherwise you can only take it so far yourself.

I noticed I've been following the same patterings when it comes to new contacts. I am not saying  that this is the healthy way to go about it but somehow it got me though the years of migration. 

Pay attention to your own schedule. Where and when you go the most often: groceries on Monday, shopping on Tuesday, yoga on Wednesday, laundromat on Thursday, beauty salon on Friday, gym on Saturday,  church on Sunday, lol You name it. Always ALWAYS pay attention to the people around you, for ex, if your preference is to go to the same store , hood chances are there is probably the same cashier works there every time. Wow.. over time you begin recognize familiar faces and ask each other how families are doing. At our previous place we had one cashier like that at Wal-Mart working night shifts and we ended up not just shopping there but also went through hardships together and gave the woman moral support when her husband was in the hospital with kidney failure. Yes, that particular relationship was temporary and in the past now, who knows, but that's to me was an actual CONTACT in a physical form as you, Dannika talking about, and not someone anonymous behind the screen with possibly different gender than they appear. Besides, it's feels good to go somewhere and  just say hello to Mrs. Wanda or Mr. Joe (note, if you have children they may not be too happy how you streach your shopping time, so give them something to read)

So as you can see it is very possible to take a situation like this to the next level: exchange phone numbers, FB accounts, or other social media just in case, meet up outside the place/work setting, which is what I had also done in the past and it works wonders. 

The best thing about it is that the relationship begins with something you already have in common, hence the reason you are in the same space to begin with,  which gives both sides the opportunity to start a conversation, ask questions and begin to know each other without any particular attachment other than it feels good to speak to the person because if it doesn't, then it's harder to progress from there.

I am still settling into the village I recently move into, and I realise it is also winter and people are home more during that season. I have some regular things I do. I go swimming every week as I have a swimming pool around the corner and I am always happy to go. With my Lupus/Fibromialgia the warm water is a blessing. My regular coffee corner and supermarkets. It is not that I don't see people at all, it is more the connection with the spiritual world I miss.It will come, building a new network takes time. My question or thoughts was more about how to stay connected spiritually when you do not have a big social circle You can't rush friendships, it needs to grow at it's own space. I talk to strangers on the streets who walk their dogs or when a small child bumps into you at the supermarket. I have a best friend where I used to live and I can call her or my daughter, so I am not completely cut off. I don't have Facebook, cancelled my account a few months ago. The only social media thing I have is Pinterest, I gather things there so I don't have to write them down when I want to do a ritual or a recipe.

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11 hours ago, Garnet said:

I just remembered about the fungal/slime intelligence and came across this video, so maybe my theory is not that wrong. Curious to hear your thoughts!

https://youtu.be/2UxGrde1NDA

A very interesting video.I will watch it again for a few times so it can sink in

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