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2019 forecast

Hey. I just came here to think "out loud" about this forecast. What confuses me is that in 2009 I was all about wanting to die, self-harming and actually trying to kill myself, being hospitalised, and in general, the entire year was about killing myself, entirely. Regarding this forecast, it seems that I will die this year. There were no other seeds in 2009, so this makes things weird :D It's confusing because I'm not sure if I do want to die and such. I guess I can finish what I started. But anyway. Interesting forecast I guess. What do you think about it and how do you interpret it?

 

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Hi, yes I have to catch up Teals speech again several times, because the video was playing faster than my back up memories and to match progress during these years. It was many posts in this form regarding hopelessness and perspectives how to cope it. I wouldn't talking if I wouldn't be in the same shoes years ago. 

What I would say you should step on different perspective and make crystallize  as your strength, it's about to face it instead to escape, this is a time to face my fear and the fear will be not anymore (Teals Holly Grail)

best wishes

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Plan, plan, plan... And don't take any forecast so literal. That way when unexpected happens , you can return to the track with minor adjustments here and there.

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On 1/5/2019 at 1:32 AM, Garnet said:

Plan, plan, plan... And don't take any forecast so literal. That way when unexpected happens , you can return to the track with minor adjustments here and there.

That's the thing, no matter what I do, how I do it, everything fails. Nothing feels right except death. I have been feeling for years and years that death is my path and then Teal comes with her forecast video... One thing is working hard, but another thing is when you feel you're just banging your head onto the wall, nothing changes or moves, if it does it's always unpleasant 100%, no matter what you do, how you move, it doesn't matter. I have people who know me who don't understand how nothing grows here. How everything just keeps failing. I was thinking if someone was completely isolated and disconnected from childhood on if this is what happens. Like, maybe I just need to pretend if I don't feel like anything. Although I find pretending repulsive and it's not my thing, if I'm going to pretend to like something, it's not going to work. If me liking something doesn't work, let alone not liking it... This is too confusing, aren't I suppose to die already...

Anyway, thank you all.

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1 hour ago, wdhcoa said:

@Ana Taylor, it's like you're talking about my life. Only lately I began to oscillate between that and something else.

Oh, oof, it makes me feel a tiny bit easier now that I know this. I was thinking about what Garnet wrote because his/hers (I'm really sorry...yikes, I don't know) words feel like there's something there I'm not getting. And I think it's really just about choice, choosing life. Planning. I don't know what's been happening last year or in the last few weeks, but it's coming down to death or life. And the more attention I give to this the more clear it's becoming. Because if someone is disconnected it's pretty obvious that they might feel like their intention here is to die. I think there were enough good chances for me to die...or maybe not, but at least on road, there were.  Also, if someone has that kind of feelings for years, maybe even when we decide to make a change, it's not overnight. And lately, I noticed I started picking up myself way faster than before. So maybe this is one of the things moving forward though it's still very foggy here. Like that movie, The Fog...

What are you oscillating (nice I learned a new word :)) between?

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@Ana Taylor as you noticed if death was an option it would have happened long time ago.

Do you feel being protected in some way?

Protection can look like nothing you ever wanted , so it may be hard to digest first. Just pay attention and you will see that you are important and when a lot depends on your role in life, it is not easy to remove you. 

P.S. female I am. Pleasure to have you here❤

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On 1/4/2019 at 11:52 PM, vincent said:

Hi, yes I have to catch up Teals speech again several times, because the video was playing faster than my back up memories and to match progress during these years. It was many posts in this form regarding hopelessness and perspectives how to cope it. I wouldn't talking if I wouldn't be in the same shoes years ago. 

What I would say you should step on different perspective and make crystallize  as your strength, it's about to face it instead to escape, this is a time to face my fear and the fear will be not anymore (Teals Holly Grail)

best wishes

This is helpful. Thank you :)

6 hours ago, Garnet said:

@Ana Taylor as you noticed if death was an option it would have happened long time ago.

Do you feel being protected in some way?

Protection can look like nothing you ever wanted , so it may be hard to digest first. Just pay attention and you will see that you are important and when a lot depends on your role in life, it is not easy to remove you. 

P.S. female I am. Pleasure to have you here❤

Yes, I can say I feel protected in some way. What you wrote feels right.

OK :) Thank you ❤️

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12 hours ago, wdhcoa said:

@Ana Taylor, I needed you to know that you're not alone. Through those two posts you let me know that I'm not the only one with a life-history of "nothing grows", "banging",  and everything else you wrote there.

Thank you.

❤️

😊

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Yeah, 2009 was a sh*tty year!... Just a year after the recession hit, so depressing! I think Teal made the whole thing up just to make us do shadow work!

I honestly don't know what I planted, if anything. Do no seeds mean nothing grows? And if we have to wait for a ten year cycle to reap the rewards, then come on 2023! That'll be my year, lol!

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2 hours ago, Broken_Mirror33 said:

Yeah, 2009 was a sh*tty year!... Just a year after the recession hit, so depressing! I think Teal made the whole thing up just to make us do shadow work!

I honestly don't know what I planted, if anything. Do no seeds mean nothing grows? And if we have to wait for a ten year cycle to reap the rewards, then come on 2023! That'll be my year, lol!

Ah yes, the recession...dark times. Haha lovely. I know right? Maybe you were planting subconsciously 😉😛Cheers to 2023 then! :)

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19 minutes ago, wdhcoa said:

For me too - 2009 was the year in which I gave up. Lost all hope. Numbed myself up to everything and began to walk dead. 2018 was the year of getting out of that numbness. Everything awakening, hell and hope alike. And now, in 2019, I remembered WHY I gave up and lost hope. And I am falling again into numbness. I already know when and how I will kill myself.

Well, Teal's forecast in a nutshell makes sense to me.

Just woah. It's like I would write this and I did a bunch of times. Just woah. Hey, do you want to chat? About anything, nothing, whatever...

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Ana if you are thinking about dying and feeling frustrated with your life then perhaps you need to die spiritually to this life in order to be reborn into another totally different life. That's what I had to do.

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On 1/9/2019 at 10:43 AM, Ana Taylor said:

Ah yes, the recession...dark times. Haha lovely. I know right? Maybe you were planting subconsciously 

Yes, I remember that. 

Despite recession 2009 was actually a very good year for us... lots of paperwork.. but mainly due to preparation to leave the country in the February of 2010. And I was putting away 450-500$$$ into savings each month! Not that I live in a mansion with acres and acres of land to take care of.. but the living conditions were much better back in 2009 (meaning location/price wise) and we had zero debt.... which is what ironically  I'm currently working on now in 2019... plus the vet bills are astronomical in US!

Speaking about the seeds. I just picked up the event card from the library "Seed swap Day". Too bad it's on Saturday, January 19 and I won't make it there at 11 am.

The card is cool and I really like the vintage feel 

20190108_163702.jpg

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