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Mattws111

Relationships and oneness

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Relationships and oneness

Hello,

I'm hoping someone can put me out of my misery or at least help me to get past the concept of oneness. 

I am hoping one day to have a romantic relationship just as most people do in their lives but if oneness means I am not seperate from anyone else, then why should I bother or how will I allow myself to love someone else since I am the only being in existence.

There is also things like I am not the body, life is just an illusion and everything is conciousness just ripping me to shreds even further, I can't take this suffering and depression any longer, I'm getting no where in life and at a dead end, should I meditate? Can anyone help?

I apologize to brokenmirror, I have taken your stuff on board but I continue to get bombarded.

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I've been reluctant to reply to this post, only because you have given me a great deal to think about in your last post and that has been keeping me busy for the past few days. However, I've reached the end of my line of thought and it seems fitting to take up a new line, here.

Well, honestly, I haven't read Teal's book on Loneliness or done the Completion Process. My background is in philosophy not relationships, so this is going to prove difficult for me. Your last post was a bit more on the metaphysical side of things, so those answers were easier for me to field.

But I would like to say that Oneness in no way precludes you from maintaining healthy relationships or becoming romantically involved with a partner. On the contrary, it should allow for healthier relationships whether romantic or platonic. The reason being from the perspective of "Oneness" you will be stripped down to your inner most essence, which is your authentic self. Authenticity is definitely the right approach to field the issue of relationships as it pertains to genuine selfhood.

However, I'll need some more time to think about it, so this post is just to get the ball rolling. But just so you know, I'm on it!

Much love and compassion!

Edited by Broken_Mirror33
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From the Buddhist perspective, however, it's easy to see where you can go wrong with the whole thing. Especially if you misinterpret emptiness and/or you do not have the bodhiccita firmly planted in the Buddha Heart and the Buddha Mind, so to speak. The bodhiccita becomes the motivation for the bodhisattva attitude.

So, if you do not have the bodhiccita firmly planted in your heart and in your mind, then you will lack compassion both for others and for yourself. You see, this is the problem! Without developing compassion for all sentient beings, your relationships will be more difficult. (The bodhiccita is obtained during the preliminary practices in the Mahayana tradition.)

You seem to have been exposed to the highest teachings without having a solid foundation on which to build your knowledge. You wouldn't build a house without a foundation would you?

Edited by Broken_Mirror33
grammar; sentence structure

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Okay, I've finally completed my analysis. According to Teal, in her video 'Oneness is Not the Ultimate Truth of the Universe,' the reason Oneness is conducive to relationships is that from the perspective of seeing yourself as other people you will develop compassion for others. This has the effect of breaking you out of a narcissistic bubble, so that you'll see others' needs and wants as your needs and wants. This is what Teal means by Oneness being the largest "ego" that exists. You can think of this expansion in terms of "ego boundaries." In that, in a state of Oneness our ego boundaries expand to include humanity as a whole (this is what's meant in Buddhism by having compassion for all sentient beings). This, in turn, will become the motivation for developing and maintaining healthy relationships (in Buddhism we call this motivation the "bodhiccita").

So, I was half right in my previous post, I just needed to take my analysis further in order to understand things from Teal's perspective. Honestly, if this is not how things are working out for you, you're doing something wrong. It seems like you are obsessing about these ideas, but you fundamentally lack compassion for yourself and others. You simply cannot have compassion for others, if you don't have compassion for yourself. What you need is to develop a sense of self-love and then you can work on the more advanced spiritual aspects of the craft. (But until then, you needn't worry about it.)

Edited by Broken_Mirror33
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