Mattws111

Spirituality taken the fun out of my life

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Spirituality taken the fun out of my life

Hello,

I have researched alot of things over the years on the topic of spirituality and now I think I've hit rock bottom to the point where I want to take my own life.

The truths I've been exposed to are :

1. Life is an illusion and is not real - why should I bother trying to improve my life if nothing is real, why should I bother doing anything?

2. We are all 'one' and seperation is an illusion therefore I am everyone else and everyone is me - why should I bother being in a relationship?

I'm just so fed up, full of anxiety sadness and feel dead and empty.

Can someone give me some advice and some reasons why I shouldn't commit suicide?

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I'd love to talk to you about this. 

My comments are heavily moderated here. As soon as Garnet approves this comment I'll write a full reply.

Hang tight.

 

 

 

EDIT: @Mattws111  Well well. I took time out of my life to write to you and apparently you don't appreciate it. So, I deleted my response to you. 

Do whatever you want. Doesn't matter to me.

*Sniff sniff* poor baby. 

 

@Garnet Considering you don't value me as a human being, I take MAJOR offense to your sexual comments about the head of my penis, saying I need to think with my head and not the head of my penis. This is the second time you've posted harassing comments like this. To me, it's sexist and abusive. You should be removed from your moderator position. You won't be though, because this website has ZERO moral direction. None whatsoever. You'll always be the moderator untill someone even more tyrannical replaces you. 

 

I've tried, guys. I've tried standing up to the tyranny, the brainwashing, the violent attack on your mind and physchy. It looks like this is a lost battle right now. If you're dumb enough to remain a member of this cult, you'll get what is coming to you. They will make sure of it. All the predatory people posing as benevolent people will make sure you are violated as they see fit. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

@Arvi619 I get where you're coming from. I used to believe the same things. However, what you said isn't correct. 

Suffering IS INEVITABLE for every single person on the planet. You cannot avoid it. You can fight me all you want on that, and as long as you're an innocent benevolent person, I respect you. 

However, what I said is a FACT. Not you, not Teal, not even the king of the world can avoid SUFFERING. It is not possible. Of you take a closer look at your own comment, you're already in agreement that it's unavoidable. Right?? Lol. You "neeeeeed" unwanted things, according to that philosophy. However, I even disagree with that!!! You don't neeeeeed bad things to happen to you on order to live a good life. That is absolute hogwash. 10000%. 

Of course, Garnet doesn't want me to have a conversation with you about anything. While she sexually harasses me, she'll ban me at the same time. That's a tyrant. Yet, here you are, fighting against me.

This is utterly disgusting.

 

 

 

 

 

This place is absolutely crawling with predators.

 

 

Edited by MistaRender
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59 minutes ago, MistaRender said:

I'd love to talk to you about this. 

My comments are heavily moderated here. As soon as Garnet approves this comment I'll write a full reply.

Hang tight.

I would like to remind you that you are the one who did this to yourself and that if I see you editing your posts in  very disrespectful ways that contradicts with the forum's rules, you will be restricted from posting for another 10 days with no warning given. So, use the right head to think with minimum two times before you do it.

Good luck

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7 hours ago, MistaRender said:

What I WISH I knew back then, 10 years ago, was the basics. Things like... suffering is inevitable, but you can sometimes choose what kind of suffering you have.  

 

Suffering is NOT inevitable. Contrast is inevitable. To know what is wanted you must know what is unwanted 

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13 hours ago, Garnet said:

I would like to remind you that you are the one who did this to yourself and that if I see you editing your posts in  very disrespectful ways that contradicts with the forum's rules, you will be restricted from posting for another 10 days with no warning given. So, use the right head to think with minimum two times before you do it.

Good luck

 

14 hours ago, MistaRender said:

Garnet, why are you always talking about the head of my ding dong? I'm trying to have a serious conversation here.

MistaRender, you are correct. I should not have said such a thing. 

I am very sorry. 

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Isn't it lovely how we have this guy that is debilitating suicide, and instead of trying to help him, we got Mistarenda, hijacking the thread for his own personal autism, and everybody immediately follows along to put him in his place.

That's precisely what drives people into suicide in the first place. When not even the threat of taking your own life is capturing anyone's attention, in this state of mind, what is then still left to do?

I'd urge everyone to take a step back, and focus at the real issue. Matt is in a bad place right now, and sees no way out.

To you Matt, I want to say this: When it comes to dealing with problems, no matter how serious, it comes down to the attitude. And in your state of mind, it is so unbelievably hard to find a solution. You have to understand this. The solution to your situation is hard: You have to distance yourself from the problems you are facing, and view it with a larger timeframe in mind, rationally. Right now, on the brink of taking your own life, how are you going to be rational and consider the larger picture? You won't, and you have to accept that. The way to get out of this frame of mind, is to change your attitude, exactly what spirituality wants to do. But you seemed to think, that this alone was the solution to all your problems. It's a good step, but it doesn't solve the problems for you... what it does do, is get you in a state, where you can solve these problems. I'm sure, you're not exactly ecstatic to hear this, but that's the reality of all this. No one can 100% say, what happens after death, and hell, for all I know, taking your life could just mean you get to relive the same crap you are dealing with over and over again. That's enough motivation for me, to straighten things out in this life. So, let's just get the hell on with it!

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On 12/15/2018 at 9:34 AM, Mattws111 said:

Spirituality taken the fun out of my life

Hello,

I have researched alot of things over the years on the topic of spirituality and now I think I've hit rock bottom to the point where I want to take my own life.

The truths I've been exposed to are :

1. Life is an illusion and is not real - why should I bother trying to improve my life if nothing is real, why should I bother doing anything?

2. We are all 'one' and seperation is an illusion therefore I am everyone else and everyone is me - why should I bother being in a relationship?

I'm just so fed up, full of anxiety sadness and feel dead and empty.

Can someone give me some advice and some reasons why I shouldn't commit suicide?

As a bodhisattva it is my duty out of compassion to inform you that the "truths" you have been exposed to are lies. Let me demonstrate the problems with your statements:

Statement #1: Life is an illusion.

Counterexample: A Buddhist monk's child dies. A young kid comes up to the monk and says; "Why are you crying? Don't you know your son was just an illusion?" The Arhat replies; "Yes. But he was my greatest illusion." The young monk breaks out in tears.

--This example is meant to demonstrate that you have been exposed to improper teachings. If this is your understanding, then you are not an Arhat (a perfected person, one who has gained insight into the true nature of existence). The "illusion" you are referring to is the doctrine of shunyata. The proper understanding of shunyata is this: phenomena are empty of INHERENT existence. That is, phenomena have no "essential characteristic" that makes it what it is. This means that phenomena are absent of a "self-identity," which is NOT the same as saying that "nothing is real" or that phenomena do not exist (which is an obvious falsehood). This is the proper way of understanding nonduality.

To further elaborate, the opposing view to this nondual doctrine, in the west, is referred to as "substance dualism" or dualism, in general. If one is a dualist, then he/she sees no problem with the existence of "abstract objects." For example, in mathematics we deal with abstract objects all the time, but many of us simply don't regard them as "real." People who regard these abstract objects as real are called platonists and those who don't regard them as real are called nominalists. The point is, no one has yet "won" this metaphysical debate, while most nominalists see a problem with regarding abstract objects as real, it's not exactly clear in their argument what it is they object to. Ergo, both arguments are valid. However, whether you're a dualist or a nondualist simply doesn't matter as neither would argue whether or not phenomena ACTUALLY exist!

(*Not that I subscribe to "Faith," in the Christian sense, but if you'd like to know more, here's a podcast that addresses some of the concerns that you've raised: https://youtu.be/PLo2KJWqgPo)

(**I'd like to further point out that in this podcast the view that external phenomena do not exist is regarded as an extreme form of nihilism (as I have inferred from my comments above) and not something a rational person would necessarily subscribe to.)

Hope this helps!

Edited by Broken_Mirror33
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1 hour ago, Broken_Mirror33 said:

As a bodhisattva it is my duty out of compassion to inform you that the "truths" you have been exposed to are lies.

As a normal rational person, I've taken on the duty of calling people out. 

 

This guy calls himself a bodhisattva.

While claiming he's a bodhisattva, he recommended that everyone watch a movie called "seven", which depicts vile murders, torture, rape, and the lowest energy crud you can imagine. He says it's "spiritual". 

 

Don't bother trusting this guy.

 

Edited by MistaRender

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2 hours ago, Broken_Mirror33 said:

As a bodhisattva it is my duty out of compassion to inform you that the "truths" you have been exposed to are lies. Let me demonstrate the problems with your statements:

Statement #1: Life is an illusion.

Counterexample: A Buddhist monk's child dies. A young kid comes up to the monk and says; "Why are you crying? Don't you know your son was just an illusion?" The Arhat replies; "Yes. But he was my greatest illusion." The young monk breaks out in tears.

--This example is meant to demonstrate that you have been exposed to improper teachings. If this is your understanding, then you are not an Arhat (a perfected person, one who has gained insight into the true nature of existence). The "illusion" you are referring to is the doctrine of shunyata. The proper understanding of shunyata is this: phenomena are empty of INHERENT existence. That is, phenomena have no "essential characteristic" that makes it what it is. This means that phenomena are absent of a "self-identity," which is NOT the same as saying that "nothing is real" or that phenomena do not exist (which is an obvious falsehood). This is the proper way of understanding nonduality.

To further elaborate, the opposing view to this nondual doctrine, in the west, is referred to as "substance dualism" or dualism, in general. If one is a dualist, then he/she sees no problem with the existence of "abstract objects." For example, in mathematics we deal with abstract objects all the time, but many of us simply don't regard them as "real." People who regard these abstract objects as real are called platonists and those who don't regard them as real are called nominalists. The point is, no one has yet "won" this metaphysical debate, while most nominalists see a problem with regarding abstract objects as real, it's not exactly clear in their argument what it is they object to. Ergo, both arguments are valid. However, whether you're a dualist or a nondualist simply doesn't matter as neither would argue whether or not phenomena ACTUALLY exist!

(*Not that I subscribe to "Faith," in the Christian sense, but if you'd like to know more, here's a podcast that addresses some of the concerns that you've raised: https://youtu.be/PLo2KJWqgPo)

(**I'd like to further point out that in this podcast the view that external phenomena do not exist is regarded as an extreme form of nihilism (as I have inferred from my comments above) and not something a rational person would necessarily subscribe to.)

Hope this helps!

Thanks, what are your views on the second statement?

Edited by Mattws111
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In regards to the statement: "We are all One." Let's be careful, here, not to reduce such statements to mere platitudes. Nor is this to be taken literally. Let's be frank, here, this statement corresponds to an Oceanic experience. I'll make the asssumption that you've had such an experience but for whatever reason you've chosen to interpret "separateness" as an illusion. For this one, I'm going to jump away from Buddhism a bit, here, and take a more Terrance McKenna stance on the matter. This whole experience of Oneness is about boundary dissolution. Someone who has had such an experience would not, under ordinary circumstances, feel empty inside, but rather would feel full as they would feel "connected" to everything and everyone. But having such a profound feeling of connectedness does not mean that one gives up separation all together, which is a fallacy.

Let's say someone has the experience of Oneness, that's a given. Okay, now what? Well, afterwards this person will both perceive a connectedness to everything and everyone, but will also perceive separateness. That is, the boundary dissolution is merely a "cultural construct." For instance, a person will no longer perceive a difference between, let's say, nationalities and, therefore, will be less bigoted towards, for instance, Muslims (i.e. love your enemies). But the notion that "I am everyone else and everyone is me," to me, sounds like some sort of literal interpretation. Realize, for someone to take that statement literally would imply that they are either brain-dead or have a rather severe form of mental retardation. (And I'm not being funny, here.) Theoretically, such "damage" to the ego could cause someone to not be able to distinguish themselves from a table or a lamp post. (To give a very extreme example for the purposes of illustration.)

Of course, Oceanic experiences are harmless to the self or the ego of the individual. It does not cause any kind of impairment to proper brain functioning or brain damage of any kind--that's an obvious fallacy! Such experiences are perfectly normal and natural, and healthy. People can have such an experience, of course, naturally within the context of a religious experience, and they do! 

So to answer your question, why should I bother being in a relationship? The pragmatic answer is that you are still a human being with all the needs and desires you were born with, and human beings are social animals (to give a Buddhist answer). As social animals we still require love and affection. Likewise, you will never "transcend" your carnal desires, it is simply not possible. Remember, the "boundary dissolution" you experience as a result of an Oceanic experience is merely a cultural construct, nothing more!

On another note, I also suffer from debilitating anxiety and I do not feel "dead and empty" inside, and neither should you! On that note, realize that spirituality is not a cure for your symptoms of anxiety--that's to be discussed with your doctor. Spirituality, however, can help manage your symptoms. For instance, practicing mindfulness. Be well!

Edited by Broken_Mirror33
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27 minutes ago, Broken_Mirror33 said:

Hi Mattws111, working on it, will take some time... I'll edit this post and paste it here when I'm done. Cheers!

Thanks, really appreciate it 

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I think I may be able to help!!

I watched a video of Teals a while ago, I believe it was called something like “blowing the whistle on spiritual teachers”

In the video she explains how the new age spiritual movement has so many teachers speaking truths that are all from higher dimmensional perspectives, while rejecting the divinity of their ‘humaness’ (I feel like that’s a good word to use.) This leads people to feel more alone than ever, because they are trying so hard to be this perfect god-like figure. But, that’s not what spirituality is about. And it totally makes sense why this hurts so much when adopted as a belief. 

Basically what I understood from this video is that there are some very condradictory truths that exist because of the different dimensional levels. For example, in the 5th and 6th dimmensions, death IS an allusion, because source is immortal. But, in the 3rd dimension, the exact opposite truth exists because we DO experience death. It is very real. 

I think that maybe looking inward at your own personal truths and turning them into your spiritual practice may be a lot more beneficial than focusing completely on the higher dimmensional truths. We are all one, yes, but right now we are experiencing separateness. Therefore, every descision we make in our life is selfish, and that’s okay!! We’re living through our own very personal and unique lense.

I want you to know that I care about you. I have felt this way before, especially having awakened at such a young age and so fast, it is so overwhelming. But I would like to share with you a truth of our physical dimension that has helped me so so much to not take my own life!

This truth is that we live in a time-space reality where there is contrast, and you could not possibly feel this way without the exact opposite feeling (the solution) being true!! The best life you could ever dream of exists and you came into this experience with the intention of living it! If you need to take some time away from the spiritual teachings in order to re-direct yourself, please, do so.

You have been exposed to the dark side of spiritual teachings nowadays, that is not your fault. Nor should you take your own life because of it. You deserve to feel loved and like your life is purposeful, which leads me to one more thing:

You are so loved beyond comprehension, and if this wasn’t true, the law of attraction wouldn’t exist. Isn’t it truly amazing that the universe will give you exactly what you are? 

I truly hope with all my heart that you haven’t hurt yourself since posting this yesterday. I am so sorry for the people on here who may have made you feel even more alone. There is so much beauty here on earth to experience my friend, I wish for you to be completely immersed in it. 

 

 

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On 12/16/2018 at 12:55 PM, MistaRender said:

As a normal rational person, I've taken on the duty of calling people out. 

Okay, @MistaRender what is it you want to "call me" out about?... Go ahead, I dare you, I double dare you! You posh turd!... You're not interested in helping anyone; all you're interested in is starting flame wars with anyone and everyone! Why don't you go back to the bridge you crawled out from underneath you troll amongst trolls!

Yes, the word "bodhisattva" doesn't confer any authority onto a person, spiritual or otherwise... It just means that that person has taken refuge in the Mahayana tradition. Furthermore, the Gnostics were regarded by scholars as "Christian Bodhisattvas," because they took refuge in the Gnostic Tradition. I'm not claiming to be anyone's "Guru" and I wouldn't be for all the bleedin' money in the world! How dare you infer that I'm not a "normal" person, you daft prig! Buddhists, Christians, Pagans, and, of course, New Agers are all "normal" people too! So, you can go stuff it, you tight-ass!

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Life is an illusion. Nothing is real. Almost there.

When people are interviewed at an accident scene. You'll get different perspectives from each witnesses. Differences in vantage point and personal experiences leads to those differing accounts you'll hear. Life is no different and it may feel unreal and illusionary. Can witness accounts given appear contradictory. You bet and they are real none the less.
Let's take another example. You just got done creating a fantastic painting. A thug grabs it from you and destroys it leaving the pieces scattered about the ground. You're fuming yet another person who observed the event, even the thug, may comment that its just a painting. Two seemingly contradictory viewpoints that are very real.

As mentioned, it could be related to something not easily transmitted by a word or even a sentence or two. Read enough article that relate to the tranlation of Hieroglyphics and other ancient writings and you'll come across this concept. It may take decades to get enough of the context to more thoroughly translate a single piece of text. Or .... it could be a phrase that simply sounded cool.

Let me put a scientific twist on the second.
We are all made up of constituent parts. Molecules and Ionic compounds. Keep going into the land of atoms. Even further quarks and other subatomic constructs. Everything that forms this dynamic universe we live in. You could say we are all one. The particles are not precisely separated. They constantly interact through fields of force. For the moment, I'd say we are all connected, but not like the Blob of the horror movies. Don't despair for this is a dynamic existence. Look at the wonders around you. Look through a telescope at Saturn or Jupiter sometime. First time was a little shocking for me. I knew they had moons and was not prepared to see a perfect string of colorful dots all lined up.

A good reason to live. Simply you don't know what will happen next. Something good may be just around the corner, or 5 years out, or 20 years out, or you may have to wait 50 years out. Do you want to miss that? I like to turn sayings on their heads from time to time. What do you have to lose from living? If you're at rock bottom, Point you hand up. That's the only direction left to you. Up.

Spirituality is not some gift wrapped box of candy that you only have to unwrap to enjoy. It more of a tool of exploration. How you use it, is up to you.

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