Video Games and Consciousness

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Video Games and Consciousness

Hello everyone.

As a video game lover, i was wondering what was the link between what you play and your vibrations because i have lot's of games, especially post-apo, that make me feel weird when i play them. I tried to play mad max the other day and the sound of the V6 motor that i used to love made me feel like my vibrations were decreasing.

I used a lot of those as copping mechanism, but where before i could spend hours trying to bend the world as the Soviet Union in Hearts of Iron or gunning down a whole regiment of policemen in Mafia 2, now it seems like i am only drawn toward games like minecraft or starbound, and even then it's really funny because my friend wanted to drag me along in some space piracy but i only wanted to stay on my planet, build my house and farm.

(and mine, i really love mining, could spend hours underground in minecraft  just listening to jukebox songs and digging towards ChinaCube)

Oh and i wanted to know, can you use horror games to face your fears ? If so any recommendation ? I kinda avoided those for years (kinda being a small word here since I have played litteraly hundreds of games, i don't play much of it in general but I really loved SOMA and Resident Evil 2) retrieved Penumbra a month ago for this purpose and ooooh men, i forgot how i felt to be hiding behind the only desk in the room with no weapon while some faceless mutant with a torch circles the 10m2 space, feeling it stopped at the other side of the desk, crossing my fingers in hope that he doesn't find me while shivering with fear. But what was funnier was when i took the wrong way in the outside corridor. He saw me, I hear him calling me, from were i was supposed to go, the other way was blocked, so I ran towards him, NOT WANTING AT ALL TO GO NEAR, but i dodged him and reached the door. Wasn't i happy then not to solve the next puzzle ^^

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Ok so a bit of update here, first i found this guy on youtube which i found interesting 


And after watching the video "Why do people like to watch scary movies?" i understood a bit more.

I tried over the last year to desensitized myself from violence, felt like the world was a violent and unhealthy place, so i thought that if i wanted to be happy and not paralyzed by fear, i needed to enjoy this violence and be prepared for it. Doesn't surprise me that i felt like living in a hell hole and in almost constant fear at that time.

(just checked out twice now if the windows and doors were closed x) yeah, home alone in a big house after dark, yepeee)

It reminds me of my childhood, when i first came into contact with zombies through a resident evil copy my father asked me to hold for a minute. When i stared at those creatures it scared the shit out of me (remembered now that i asked what were zombie to my father, and wanting to be funny he scared me by telling me that they will eat my brain or something like that). After that i barricaded my wardrobe every night believing that if i don't, zombie might pop in through some kind of wormhole and eat me. Or that i was scared to fall asleep because i was afraid that i might teleport in a world of suffering and not be able do anything about it.

That strong zombie fear kept with me for a long time, until i played call of duty black ops with my brother, (afraid too even if he used to mock me a lot for that) and killing them by dozens. Finally ended up having a steam category dedicated to zombie games.

What's funny/scary is that now i've got these really vivid images and sounds that come back to me when i think of it. And i'm bit afraid that it will link somehow in my reality just before i turn on the light of a room.

At least when i played X-com i was getting those green pixel numbers, but along with some extra-terrestrial paranoïa.

I'm happy now because i feel like i'm retrieving my virtues, the part of me that, when playing fallout 3, wanted to create a brotherhood of mercenary to restore "justice and equality"(found that on one of my old diary ^^), protect the people. The part of me that believed in communism because it knew that humanity was to be trusted, not scared of each other to create a living utopia. But even if my sensibility is coming back, I still find some fun in violence and gore, and i don't know if i should do something about that, i guess it will pass if it's not me.


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