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Penguine

Belonging - Where to go, where to be

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Belonging - Where to go, where to be

Hi. I'm currently in a period of my life where I don't know where I should be or where I should even go. Its a self-contradictory statement but I'm not even sure if i'm supposed to be here. I'm at a crossroads of having to force myself to start somewhere new (again) or just committing myself to being where I am. I feel completely disinterested in moving somewhere new. Compounding to that fact, i've lost interest about the places I can go and all the places where I could be. I've lived 10 years on my own and during that period I basically built my life back up. Found friends that I deeply love (which was personally a difficult thing for me) and re-learned things that were lost but actually important to me. I've found things that are worth so much more and are important to me. Most of all, I'd do anything to be as physically present as I can to the friends I have. On that note, i've been told a few times i'm limiting myself in doing so which does push me into thinking that i'm probably not supposed to be here and at times not actually wanted here.

I just don't know what to think. I'm tired of having to start over somewhere new again and again and again. I'm not interested in the world. I have all the things and people i need. But at the same time I need a physical space to "be" which is hard when you've been "orphaned" by the people that were meant to care for you in the first place. I feel so out of place. Any thoughts, opinions or suggestions?

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