Greg21

How do I know my Value?

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How do I know my Value?

How do I know what my value is and where do I go to find connection? I cant get this questions answered for the life of me and it causes me to keep giving up. I feel like if I left spirituality it still wouldn't help me because I wouldn't really have anywhere to go. I am really out of options. Please help!

 

Thanks 


Greg

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Two observations that may help you on your inquisition.

Your value to whom. Value is a two headed word. Between two entities. Giver and receiver.  That's not an easy question. You talk about giving up. Something is keeping you going. For me, I just want to see what's over the next hill. What the next day will bring. Not every day is pleasant, but some days are. And there can be long stretches of the former. How do you know you don't have anywhere to go. Unless you are literally backed up into a corner with a pack of wild dogs on your heals, sound like a little insecurity and uncertainty.  Spirituality can help to bring some security as it can help to increase awareness of your situation and reduce anxieties that may be overblown. As for connections, there are many types of connects and disconnects. How do you feel disconnected? 

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I want to connect to people who I like but I can’t find any. Honestly I feel so suffocated. I literraly am at the end of my rope, and my hatred for teal is really coming out. Being on stage with her totally shattered me. I thought I was actually going to help but she didn’t answer my question. And I’ve just wasted another year of my life not manifesting a single fucking thing. I am so unbelievably lonely and overwhelmed I have no cognitive clarity. 

 

WTF am I supposed to do. The one person I was hopeing I help me cared more about her 20 minute intervals than helping me. I’ve dedicated 6 years of my life to this shit and I have actively regressed. I’m worse now then when I met Teal and I don’t know how to quit spirituality and just start moving in any direction in life. 

 

Why does absouletly no one give a fuck about me? I don’t understand. I keep meeting people who I feel can help me but they never have the time Fml. 

 

Has anyone gone threw this and actually gotten out of it? And how many people are actually seeing improvement in their lives? 

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Stop for a moment an reread your own post. I have no Idea what you are asking because you are being very vague (not a lot of detail). Take a deep breath with no expectations. Explain what happened in as much detail as possible as painstakingly slowly  as possible. Clarity is lost when you over-analyze as you may miss an important item. Very distracting. Please, never let anyone take your power to act. Every question and subsequent decision is yours.  Calm  your thoughts. If you feel that you lost six years, ask yourself realistically, can you get that back? No. What can you do? Plan ahead. You still have the future ahead of you. Even if you were minutes from flying into the sun, you would STILL have those minutes to plan a miracle. But, don't hold your breath. This is part of a philosophy I live by. As for the direction. Well, Captain, that's about goals  and how you plot out a course toward those goals. Which as I started out above. What happened? What are those goals? Just a warning about life, sometimes the answers are not what we want. Sometimes they are. As confusing as it is , sometimes both.

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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uUdaVwxdnak

 

thats me. 

 

I am upset for 2 reasons

1. Teal didn’t help me and she was my one chance to get the help I needed. She was the one person I felt who could help me and she chose not. I left that stage not understanding what my value is or what I have to do to find connection. 

Watch the video and tell me if you think she actually helped me. I experience more pain now then I did at that time. Since then I have lost all of my friends and my job. 

You dont understand how how it feels to come so close to actually getting someone to help you and the one person who material I have tried to live by  ends up not giving a fuck about me. 

 

2. I am mad at my self for not being able to help myself.  I try to sit with my self but nothing happens. I literally can feel good anymore. I don’t know how to describe the pain other than starvation and helplessness. 

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You sound frustrated more than upset. What I said was to not dwell on whether you believe she helped your or not. Never be afraid to question yourself, but don't get lost trying to overthink things either. Ask your self, what is the point of dwelling on Teal, if that session did not help? Calm yourself. Everybody experiences frustration at one time or another. Panic only paralyzes you and that won't help. Will getting angry help? Lets focus on something that matters right now.  Your job and friends seemed to be important to you. Warning. Fill in the blanks.

Which do you think is important to focus on first? _______________?  

Why do you no longer have ____________?

Is there any way to repair the lost _______________?  

What can you do or change (cause something probably does have to change) to be both happy and avoid losing _______ in the future (just remember life doesn't have warranties or guarantees)?

You might not be able to repair some things, like friends moving to another job in another country. Life will have it ups and downs, for sure.

Stop saying that you always $%#^# things up. True or Not? Own the results of the CHOICES that you make and move on. Learn from you mistakes. This is not a put down but a rallying cry to keep in your life. We all make mistakes. Some fewer than others. Doesn't matter as life is full of surprises sometimes horrific and sometimes wonderful.  

Don't get too 'comfortable' in jobs you 'like'. Just because a jobs pays well and provides security, doesn't mean you should stop improving yourself. You can never have too much experience or gain too many skills. The same for jobs that don't pay well. Could that job open up a door to a better one in the future? Maybe its just to put food on the table for now. If you don't know what job you would like, maybe an aptitude test to start. It might help to determine your preferences and skills which don't always align.

Why did you leave the stage if you were confused? You almost sound like you need to practice talking and asking question to strangers and family alike. Sometimes you have no choice but to be your own advocate. What would you do if you visited a barber to get a trim and instead came out bald? Before I left, I'd ask what the hell????  Maybe even before that. Are you afraid of making mistakes? Don't be. Back to an earlier point. Learn from your mistakes. Ask about everything? Let's say your interested in flying a plane and there is a pilot in the room, but you don't know anything about planes and don't want to feel dumb. WHY? How are you supposed to learn if you don't ask. Be your own advocate. 

Anyway. Hope this can help. Don't give away your power; which is the ability to decide what you do next. Then again that's easy for me as I've always been a skeptic.

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On 12/4/2018 at 2:08 AM, Greg21 said:

I want to connect to people who I like but I can’t find any. Honestly I feel so suffocated. I literraly am at the end of my rope, and my hatred for teal is really coming out. Being on stage with her totally shattered me. I thought I was actually going to help but she didn’t answer my question. And I’ve just wasted another year of my life not manifesting a single fucking thing. I am so unbelievably lonely and overwhelmed I have no cognitive clarity. 

 

WTF am I supposed to do. The one person I was hopeing I help me cared more about her 20 minute intervals than helping me. I’ve dedicated 6 years of my life to this shit and I have actively regressed. I’m worse now then when I met Teal and I don’t know how to quit spirituality and just start moving in any direction in life. 

 

Why does absouletly no one give a fuck about me? I don’t understand. I keep meeting people who I feel can help me but they never have the time Fml. 

 

Has anyone gone threw this and actually gotten out of it? And how many people are actually seeing improvement in their lives? 

It might be good just to lay it all out, try these questions:

1. What negative emotions am i feeling?
2. What practical situations in my life correspond with those negative emotions?

3. What perspectives are keeping me stuck and do i need to let go of
4. If i'm finding it difficult to let go of a limiting perspective, why am i choosing to hold onto it? 

4. What do i truly want?
5. What one thing can i start doing to start moving in the direction of what i want? 

And in a journal, put this question:

6. How am i moving closer to getting XYZ everyday?

You can answer question 6 everyday in your journal. If you put 'purpose' as the thing you want, you could write on any day "Today i learnt i like painting more than drawing, the colours are more fun to work with, so i know that is closer to purposeful and enjoyable work for me" 

 

I'm wondering, did you manage to line up with moving out of home? 

Also, you may want to watch this video i saw today, life is always teaching us what we need to know, this guy could have given himself permission to completely beat himself down about it, but he saw what it was all for, similarly you need to see what all your experiences are pushing you towards, part of it means surrendering, when we surrender it becomes easier to see what is needed, what needs healing, what we are being shown:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9d6CEJqirA&index=2&list=LLLe6bbSfQ5DWQoFxV_NP4qg&t=0s

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What has actually happened to you, Greg? How did you manage to loose your friends and the job? 

What do you usually do for a living?

Most people I know often form their circle around the job since it is their most common interest, but of course, that's not always the case.

How well do you know your strengths and weaknesses by now? Because I didn't hear it when you were on the stage. 

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Hello there, Greg,

I'm fairly certain I was guided to see your post and answer, (unusual for me to be on here in the first place, let alone the fact that I was drawn to this post and intuitively just knew it was you, and your video which I intuitively rewatched just last night.. there are no coincidences..) See, I've been working on those same questions myself, and reading your frustrations (and fears), some things come to mind.  In the hopes of helping you (and myself, honestly, since for all we know, we could be building a connection right now :) ), I am going to openly say the following, which I hope won't step on any toes.. I could be wrong, but I think Teal was going off the knowledge that you've been keeping up with almost all her videos and piecing things together.  There were some points she didn't mention to you on stage that I noted were helpful from her past videos- stuff she didn't really get the time to repeat in that brief session on stage.. that also tend to get forgotten when you are in that state of suffering and resistence.. So: Its important to remember that everything going on outside ourselves is a reflection of the state within.  You can't manifest positive connections if you don't make progress towards healing the rift inside you between your fragments.  That's what Teal was working on with you, but that wasn't the end of it.. have to keep working on clearing any resistence you have towards yourself and going towards happiness.  You can't get abundance and love from others if you don't find ways to approve of and connect with your self (and all your parts- ESPECIALLY the stuff you've rejected up till now).  Maybe I'm telling you what you already know, but it's easy to unconsciously brush things like the above off as a form of denial (and resistence).  I will say this, your value lies in you being you.  Teal's video about your personal way of supporting others is all about this.  You are meant to be you, and joyously offer support by doing what you love and being true to yourself/authentic, (which is the only way to be happy, really, or connect with others.)  If you have lost a job, it's because you weren't happy there, and weren't authentic, and therefore weren't meant to be there!  Same with any inauthentic relationships.  (And just because you've been surrounded by those in the past, doesn't mean you can't manifest authentic ones in the now and future.  Just have to be barking up the right tree to find them.)  But to force yourself into doing things that aren't true to you and that a part of you resists goes against the flow, and is resisting your way to happiness.  As for the pain you've been in more now, its either because you are bringing to the surface shadows to heal (the old wounds and pain of trauma that were buried and subconscious till now,) and/or because you are in a state of resistence to said pain/wounds to heal.  Shadow work is tough and gets rougher as you go until you clear through to the other side.  It's seeing and feeling all of your painful ways of thinking so that you can finally address them in order to feel better.  Takes a lot of work and time, but its worth it to actually feel real relief/joy and love.  *hugs*  I really hope that this helps ease your way with some hope, clarity and food for thought.  I send you love, my other self.  Be well.

Edited by Daveeda
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On 12/3/2018 at 9:08 PM, Greg21 said:

Why does absouletly no one give a fuck about me? I don’t understand. I keep meeting people who I feel can help me but they never have the time Fml. 

 

Has anyone gone threw this and actually gotten out of it? And how many people are actually seeing improvement in their lives? 

It is hard to accept the idea that it appears like no one cares about or accepts you. It's incredibly painful, but what you must realize, is that you had those painful experiences, that contrast, in order to show you how you actually view yourself.. that external world is a mirror, and if you think that people who could help didn't have the time for you, what is ACTUALLY going on, is that YOU don't really see yourself as worth the time and effort.. effort that no one can make for you but you, and then cover up that state of vulnerability by focusing on the external and other things. Hiding from the truth of how you've been thinking of things deep down and feeling.  But nothing will ever change with that approach..

As for seeing progress, you bet!  Recognizing and addressing things like core negative thoughts is learning to think in a more loving way, and gives relief!  However, you should understand that there's no finish line.. only plateaus and then further growth as you live. It's what life itself circles around.  And things get better and better, as Teal says, the further you go.  I've experienced proof that manifestation is real and that thoughts create over and over. But that only happens when you aren't in resistance,  and line up with your desires.

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22 hours ago, Daveeda said:

It is hard to accept the idea that it appears like no one cares about or accepts you. It's incredibly painful, but what you must realize, is that you had those painful experiences, that contrast, in order to show you how you actually view yourself.. that external world is a mirror, and if you think that people who could help didn't have the time for you, what is ACTUALLY going on, is that YOU don't really see yourself as worth the time and effort.. effort that no one can make for you but you, and then cover up that state of vulnerability by focusing on the external and other things. Hiding from the truth of how you've been thinking of things deep down and feeling.  But nothing will ever change with that approach..

As for seeing progress, you bet!  Recognizing and addressing things like core negative thoughts is learning to think in a more loving way, and gives relief!  However, you should understand that there's no finish line.. only plateaus and then further growth as you live. It's what life itself circles around.  And things get better and better, as Teal says, the further you go.  I've experienced proof that manifestation is real and that thoughts create over and over. But that only happens when you aren't in resistance,  and line up with your desires.

Thanks for replying it means a lot. I don’t really know how I add value to people other than doing things for them or maybe trying to help solve they’re problems for them. Which is why I have been used in the past. I feel like I need mentorhaip. Becuase I feel overwhelmed trying to solve all of my own problems . 

 

My friends no no longer really hung out with me. Some of it was my fault. I made mistakes. Someone of it was them being users. The jobs I never had luck with. I had a customer service job that lasted 2 weeks. 

 

I just need people both both friends and work. 

Any of you guys from Los Angeles ?

 

If so I’m up to hang out. 

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I'm sorry, but I'm on the other side of the country.  Doesn't mean we can't connect by communicating authentically. :) And as for your "lack of luck" in the job department, like I said, you were not ACTUALLY wanting to be there.. It's what Teal was trying to tell you. You have certain goals, like money or abundance, but the truth is that we manifest what we want only when you are NOT in resistence to the way you are going about things and/or that goal itself.  A part of you doesn't believe you can have or want that abundance.  When that happens, jobs fail, friends leave, etc.  The same goes with connecting with people, though reaching out on here is an indicator that you've taken a step in the right direction with accepting yourself, (probably occurring when you were sitting and being present with yourself, but you'd probably also benefit from watching Teals video "How to find self worth" and doing the exercises in it).  You should remember also, that those old jobs and relationships were in your past, and aligning with your inauthentic self of that time before you took the step of being present with yourself, etc..  they had to clear to make room for the new which would be more in alignment with your current state.  And being present with yourself is a great start, but you've got to keep going with one by one identifying your fragments and forms of resistence.  Using a journal and writing out everything you discover about how you think and feel helps not only keep track and remind you of things, but helps with not getting overwhelmed. Just take it one step at a time.. no one can know your ways of thinking like you can.  And you owe it to yourself to make the effort in order to feel better.  No one else can do it for you, and for anyone to try would be to rob you of the opportunity to empower yourself.  You've watched Teals video called the emotional wakeup call, right?  So many people feel unworthy and powerless.  Doing this work is the only way to recognize your own innate power.  The power to choose what and how to think, and thereby create your life consciously.

Edited by Daveeda

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You're in earthquake territory, but I live in the ice belt along the East Coast.

Anyway. How was working in customer services. Lotta people get burned out. You'd think its all about helping people, but you're also wearing a bullseye for the complainers. Requires a lot of energy and a thick skin.

Did you catch your own sentence? I don’t really know how I add value to people other than doing things for them or maybe trying to help solve they’re problems for them. It could be a natural outlet for you; something that give satisfaction and a feeling of accomplishment. 

Sure you don't want to be the boss. You know, tell other people what to do; (In the back of my mind) and pay the employees, pay the utilities, pay the taxes, watching the books, the competition, planning new strategies, all the extra hours after work.....

People can have a lot of skills they overlook. Perhaps, start a 'record' that you can look back at from time to time. Starting with what is your schooling. What did classes did you prefer?  What types of skills do you have? Don't skimp out either? Even wood burning decorations is a skill. You would be surprised how I've seen people combine skills. Sometimes taking a stab at something different.

One of my colleagues was a helper for a garage door installer. Another collected 'pet droppings'. Both did this after an 8 hour job and on weekends. They made some money on the side. 

Consider too, that the added activity can help keep you fit and keep the weight off. Don't be afraid or discouraged by the negative and do try hard to find the positives. 

If  you find yourself wavering back to how I add value to people. Put it in the correct order as you don't add value to people. You add value to yourself, by gaining experience, knowledge and developing skills. Learn to enjoy that. Then comes the fun part. Using that acquired value to help other people in their quests. 

Listen to your other sentence with a little rearrangement (for me its like turning in an old radio):  I feel overwhelmed trying to solve all of my own problems, which is why feel I have been used in the past.

Do you feel that you haven't had the time to do both. Invest too heavily in helping others while pushing your needs to the side. It's OK to do that sometime, but you'll certainly burn out and take a hit mentally if you do that all the time.  Don't neglect your needs either.

Decisions. Decisions. Not easy. Remember to apply all of the above to those you deal with. Treat others as you would prefer to be treated. An old truthful saying. It also entails not letting the actions of other take you off this path EASILY.

Feel free to visit back here. It can be a good outlet with or without responses. Nothing to lose trying.

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Well thank you for the replies. I still don’t know where to go to find connection but I’ll keep trying. Hope things are going well for you guys. 

 

If if I come to any realizations I’ll let you guys know. 

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Thank YOU for reaching out on here!

 

Actually, they seem to find YOU, it seems, when you are ready for them.  I can't tell you how many unexpected encounters I've had at the most random places..  :)  Currently, like you, I'm in a place where I've had a lull, because the old relationships no longer match how and who I am, as I unearth more of my authenticity.  But we can both look forward to the new connections as the old resistence is released.  You just have to be willing to face your old demons.  All the best, and happy hunting, Greg. 😉

Edited by Daveeda
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