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Guest amy f

Free will, Choices, Limits. (My true feelings)

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Guest amy f

I am extremely overwhelmed with this world and I feel the pressure, I feel almost claustrophobic just existing. I don't feel free. TRULY FREE. Because even though i understand our own life is our own, and we make every decision, we have all these choices, but even so, there is still a system we cant seem to escape. I dont want to be apart of it, but i feel i have no choice. How are any of us truly free? We still have to survive, to live, to thrive. I feel trapped. Even when you do what you love everyday, your still in this system, of work and survive. Even if it does not FEEL like surviving. I know some could say that doing what you love everyday is thriving, but i don't see it that way. Im still a young adult, but i see what is really gong on. I cant ignore this way of life. Is my desire for ABSOLUTE freedom, unrealistic? I dont think i can experience that in this lifetime. Please dont say that "well, if that's how you see it, then that's what it will be for you, its all about perspective" because there is a difference between, seeing from a perspective that makes you feel good and actually being free. Because you can see from a perspective that makes you feel good, but that doesnt make you free because there are still laws and rules. Laws and rules are good to learn from, and are healthy for those who are probably looking to harm others, but laws and rules are not boundaries. Boundaries are not what i have an issue with. I am not ever wanting to harm another life form. Laws and rules make me cringe inside. For me it does not feel right.There are external forces still threatening your life, with laws, and willing to make your life miserable. How is my releasing resistance to external control, going to help me? Even if i feel good, that doesnt mean i am now free. I have just by doing that decided to accept it, and be apart of it? I have some sense of hope for humanity, but most of the hope is drowned in the obvious trap of "just feel good, when you feel good, you are free" No. I cant know for sure that before i came here i chose this. I dont know what source is really like It could be all loving, or it might not be. It might be both. We are still choosing to feel good, but we are only choosing to feel good, within the limits that exist. If they dont exist, then I need to experience for myself that they do not exist. Or how can i personally go beyond them. I find it hard to breathe sometimes, like the oxygen of my spirit is losing out, and i am slowly dying. I am not going to blindly believe something others say because it makes me feel good. I feel like my existence is like i am in complete darkness, and there are voices saying, "focus on the sun". It only exists in my mind. In my heart. It is like i am in a constant winter, never ending. And the sun only peaks through the mist, and when it does i feel hope. But the harshness of winter is going to kill me. I dont think i can take anymore. Because before you know it the sun is faded behind the clouds, out of reach. Even though i know it is there shining above all else I get so lost in the darkness, it becomes all i know, and i begin to question, "did the light ever exist, or was it illusion? Was it a fantasy?" the thought of it makes me wish i never daydreamed of its potential existence because it hurts to much without it. I dont know what is real and what is not anymore. I cant go anywhere, without any direction in sight. I feel this topic is a dead end. What does feeling good have anything to do with true self empowerment? To being the so called limitless all encompassing being that we truly are? Sure, you are able to switch your focus or focus on something that once didnt make you feel good, without feeling bad,That IS empowering, but there are still limits. Feel free to contribute to this topic. All are welcome

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yeah I feel like people are waking up, but then there is this whole system that is obviously flawed and some people are good at it. like okay, I'm awake and aware, now what? other people are awake and agree, now what? we all see the flaws and hierarchy, now what? I'm still scared to talk about this spiritual stuff to certain people, but I think its normal to do whatever you want to do, and I really hate this but, you are supposed to get out of your comfort zone to grow, you will get forced to do what you fear, and I really hate that. its like I know  this is a game for my soul but fuck I'm the one doing it living it, can you give me a break please? I don't think there is a break, its just evolve, evolve, evolve. I don't think life is meant to be easy and the people who pretend its easy, fuck you, just kidding, but I think some people fake like this is normal, but are hanging on a string not to lose their shit, the ones who aren't numb anyways. the ones who are numb just don't know, into sports, gossiping or watch the kardashians, just any distraction to make life feel like its improving, but not really. we do have free will, but I'm scared to show my authentic self to people, just thinking about the resistance from people when I talk freely lol, just breaking paradigms. like I'm a aspect of you, how the fuck don't people get that, put all humans together, we're the complete being, you don't like something in a person you don't like that aspect in yourself, if you love something about someone you love that aspect of yourself. its a high jacked mirror and we don't have total control right now, but its still a personal mirror. get a dream journal to get that extra time in your own subconscious, get messages for yourself.

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