Guest amy f

Free will, Choices, Limits. (My true feelings)

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Guest amy f

I am extremely overwhelmed with this world and I feel the pressure, I feel almost claustrophobic just existing. I don't feel free. TRULY FREE. Because even though i understand our own life is our own, and we make every decision, we have all these choices, but even so, there is still a system we cant seem to escape. I dont want to be apart of it, but i feel i have no choice. How are any of us truly free? We still have to survive, to live, to thrive. I feel trapped. Even when you do what you love everyday, your still in this system, of work and survive. Even if it does not FEEL like surviving. I know some could say that doing what you love everyday is thriving, but i don't see it that way. Im still a young adult, but i see what is really gong on. I cant ignore this way of life. Is my desire for ABSOLUTE freedom, unrealistic? I dont think i can experience that in this lifetime. Please dont say that "well, if that's how you see it, then that's what it will be for you, its all about perspective" because there is a difference between, seeing from a perspective that makes you feel good and actually being free. Because you can see from a perspective that makes you feel good, but that doesnt make you free because there are still laws and rules. Laws and rules are good to learn from, and are healthy for those who are probably looking to harm others, but laws and rules are not boundaries. Boundaries are not what i have an issue with. I am not ever wanting to harm another life form. Laws and rules make me cringe inside. For me it does not feel right.There are external forces still threatening your life, with laws, and willing to make your life miserable. How is my releasing resistance to external control, going to help me? Even if i feel good, that doesnt mean i am now free. I have just by doing that decided to accept it, and be apart of it? I have some sense of hope for humanity, but most of the hope is drowned in the obvious trap of "just feel good, when you feel good, you are free" No. I cant know for sure that before i came here i chose this. I dont know what source is really like It could be all loving, or it might not be. It might be both. We are still choosing to feel good, but we are only choosing to feel good, within the limits that exist. If they dont exist, then I need to experience for myself that they do not exist. Or how can i personally go beyond them. I find it hard to breathe sometimes, like the oxygen of my spirit is losing out, and i am slowly dying. I am not going to blindly believe something others say because it makes me feel good. I feel like my existence is like i am in complete darkness, and there are voices saying, "focus on the sun". It only exists in my mind. In my heart. It is like i am in a constant winter, never ending. And the sun only peaks through the mist, and when it does i feel hope. But the harshness of winter is going to kill me. I dont think i can take anymore. Because before you know it the sun is faded behind the clouds, out of reach. Even though i know it is there shining above all else I get so lost in the darkness, it becomes all i know, and i begin to question, "did the light ever exist, or was it illusion? Was it a fantasy?" the thought of it makes me wish i never daydreamed of its potential existence because it hurts to much without it. I dont know what is real and what is not anymore. I cant go anywhere, without any direction in sight. I feel this topic is a dead end. What does feeling good have anything to do with true self empowerment? To being the so called limitless all encompassing being that we truly are? Sure, you are able to switch your focus or focus on something that once didnt make you feel good, without feeling bad,That IS empowering, but there are still limits. Feel free to contribute to this topic. All are welcome

Edited by amy f

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8 minutes ago, amy f said:

 

This is the very thing that was the LAST STRAW for me.

Imma tell you the TRUTH and you may not believe it.

It is how you look at it because you cant SEE the EXIT unless you BELIEVE there is one.  

Now you can think your stuck in a loop if you want.

Since I was a kid I rebelled against EVERYTHING believing that I could life my own life my own way.

I've now reached the point where I'll go without eating and without a house if that's what it takes to live MY way.

I threw away EVERYTHING to be FREE and now the ONLY thing I have to do is..

Follow my path...Keep believing

Of course I have no choice lol so I gotta do this this way 

You gotta find your path or..

Be like me and make one...

I don't look for doors I create doors 

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FREE WILL comes from WITHIN not WITHOUT

If your not FREE then your under the control of someone else's WILL

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Guest amy f

@walt I have not experienced the 5th dimension, not that i am aware of. How am i to make a list if i do not know? Do you know what it is like there?

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14 hours ago, amy f said:

What does feeling good have anything to do with true self empowerment? To being the so called limitless all encompassing being that we truly are? 

Because feeling good, or even just better, brings you closer to or in full alignment with your highest version. It's a vibrational resonance. You bring more and more to you what resonates with your highest being.

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I relate to the system thing...especially the school system and the mandatory law or rule that applies to children and teens.

They simply have little to no choice and for them to "skip school" while that law is in place, they have got show an inability to be able to participate...this includes physical ailments but for emotional ones...good luck with that. Ill skip my "school trauma story" but the point is the free will of focus of thought is always there and thus you can dream how big you could ever imagen and taking very small steps to reach that dream.

If you perceive that the current system is unfitting or unable to accommodate your dream, MAKE IT! Research the internet for info that can get you closer to what you dream about, your wants for the future and things.

Find connections with what you can actually do here and now that would be a practical step to get closer to or get that dream or want. This soul searching for a deep want or a dream is the key factor here and you know when you have found it when you can feel a passion that you would put almost all your waking attention to. Something that burns so intensely that you can dare almost anything to reach it. Even facing feelings of death itself.

I have one or two of these fiery passions. One of them is connection with another. I burn so strongly for this it can be challenging to come near me, the heat might be too much :P 
The other passion is to go forward with a change of the school system that I perceive having been mistreated by, I have started by having an actual practical solution and this is the first step. My priorities are with connection currently though so the school thing is on the side...for now.   

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Guest amy f

@Jerry Tyfting I do not mean just the school system, i am talking about the system at large. I feel disgusted that any human would ever even think themselves to have power over someone else, another life form. Or that they would want control over someone else. I understand that it comes from probably a place of feeling powerless themselves, and so i see the innocence in it, in them. I understand everything is happening for a reason, and its "all in divine order" But i guess i am impatient! i have no idea what i am to do, which is what i am trying to figure out. (:

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@amy f ah, got it. This impatiens I also relate to, I got it as well sometimes when it comes to things.

Hehe I feel happy that you got a positive look of figuring things out :) 
Its ok to feel impatient, the answers will come the more you ask about yourself, research and of course a little bit of patience might be required ;) 

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39 minutes ago, amy f said:

It doesnt feel like a positive outlook but i guess it helps (:

Hmm positivity might be a little bit off, how about a drive for knowing? To me when I read your post such as

 

1 hour ago, amy f said:

i have no idea what i am to do, which is what i am trying to figure out. (:

This is a positive sign for exploration ;) 
It may feel less exiting but more of a search mode which can feel neutral perhaps.
kinda guessing based from how I perceive things here so correct me if I missed something :P 

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On 10/07/2016 at 11:08 PM, Yamanu said:

It is how you look at it because you cant SEE the EXIT unless you BELIEVE there is one.

this, yes.

the exit is being created, is not pre-existent. is all just potential until you make something out of it. 

also if one can't believe the exit into existence right now, they can forget about the exit and adapt to what is here now. by doing that, they get to understand it and their part in it and that will bring them into the space where they can at some point believe/invent the exit into existence. or at least they'd be learning to thrive in what is.

resisting what is while looking for a pre-existing exit is a painful loop.

 

On 10/07/2016 at 10:48 PM, amy f said:

Is my desire for ABSOLUTE freedom, unrealistic?

for you, only you can know. 

there can only be true freedom in one's readiness/willingness to give up/lose everything.

otherwise everything they hold on to are like hooks that hinder freedom. including who they think they are or who they think they should be. 

 

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