ste92k

Fractured self refuses to talk and runs away

6 posts in this topic

I was doing some shadow work/healing the emotional body when I came to a point where the "fractured self" (teenage) that I found was so angry and didn't trust at all my adult (now) self that actually refused to talk (re-integrate) and ran away. I also tried with an angel but she refused to trust both of us. It's like as if she didn't believe me. And when I was trying to have a conversation in the beginning, she just said very serious and angry: "You don't mean it" and ran away. I tried to use Teal to call her back and she accepted to come to me with her, but then was very resistant and furious to talk to me. So I stopped...

Is this possible to happen? I'm just a beginner in Teal's healing process, so I'm asking you guys.

Thanks.

Edited by ste92k
grammar error
  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wouldn't give up on her, and in my opinion you don't even need angels or Teal. It sounds like this teenage part of yourself has abandonment issues, she seems distrustful and suspicious and very defensive. She needs your presence and consistency. You need to build trust with this self. It's very important you don't get frustrated or angry with her when she runs away. Acknowledge her actions and validate the feelings behind them with kindness, like "I notice you always run away, I wish you wouldn't, but I understand you feel unsafe and I don't blame you, if I had gone through what you had I would run too." basically it's called unconditional positive regard and it works. Presence and patience, that's what this self needs from you best of luck to you.... :) 

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, authorofdarkness said:

I wouldn't give up on her, and in my opinion you don't even need angels or Teal. It sounds like this teenage part of yourself has abandonment issues, she seems distrustful and suspicious and very defensive. She needs your presence and consistency. You need to build trust with this self. It's very important you don't get frustrated or angry with her when she runs away. Acknowledge her actions and validate the feelings behind them with kindness, like "I notice you always run away, I wish you wouldn't, but I understand you feel unsafe and I don't blame you, if I had gone through what you had I would run too." basically it's called unconditional positive regard and it works. Presence and patience, that's what this self needs from you best of luck to you.... :) 

Thank you :) that really makes sense :) now I understand.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, yes.. It's very likely to happen. 

Your teen self needs something else - something other than what you think she needs. I'd say, become One with your teen self. Literally become her again; feel what she feels, feel the anger, think how she thinks... From that, you have two choices. Either ask yourself when you have been present enough, "When was the first time I felt this feeling?", or... Do what you really want to do, as a teen, feeling the way you feel. Maybe you wanted to hide in your room and not see anybody. Do that.. Give her what She wants, not what you (you now, as an adult) want.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎2016‎-‎07‎-‎11 at 3:43 AM, ste92k said:

that I found was so angry and didn't trust at all my adult (now) self that actually refused to talk (re-integrate) and ran away

Anger can be a challenging emotion to approach when we (the adult) have learned presence and positive ways of being.
I have faced something very similar before, an angry child that simply did not trust me and eventually walked away. When we are younger in the abusive cases the majority of it might come from adults and thus we have learned not to fully trust adults who continuously hurt us.

In my opinion just being there allowing your child to be as she is even if she is angry is the most loving thing you can do. Anger wont allow for anything else, love, hugs or positivity is simply repelled. Let her know though that no matter how many times she gets angry, you still want to be there with her while she expresses. And if she asks why you keep coming back to her...the answer is:  because I love you.

Well that last interaction part I said to my inner child...he went silent and could barely believe it but since I kept coming back I did prove that I wanted to be there with him.
That was an energetical improvement from how my parents have "dealt" with anger.

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now