Carol Sue Sperry

Child rearing

Recommended Posts

Child rearing

I babysit for my 3 yr old grandson whose go to answer is “No!!”  He also has temper to go with it. I’m looking for tips on allowing his feelings while doing what needs to be done. Sometimes that’s eating a meal, or not taking things from his sister, nap time etc. ( I am not complaining- he’s a sweetheart) I want to break the trauma cycle ..... help♥️🙏🏼🦋

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/20/2018 at 9:26 AM, Carol Sue Sperry said:

Child rearing

I babysit for my 3 yr old grandson whose go to answer is “No!!”  He also has temper to go with it. I’m looking for tips on allowing his feelings while doing what needs to be done. Sometimes that’s eating a meal, or not taking things from his sister, nap time etc. ( I am not complaining- he’s a sweetheart) I want to break the trauma cycle ..... help♥️🙏🏼🦋

He might be acting normal. Do you know his astrology, Chinese astrology, Human Design?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First I would ask myself is this thing Im saying no regarding his action/behavior something that will inflict harm on another or himself? If the answer is No than I would proceed to ask myself why do I believe its bad for him to do that?

If it is in fact something that will cause harm to himself or another try explaining first before saying No, explain why you dissaprove.

Parenting is very challenging and what works for me may not for you, but I commend your bravery for posting.

Much Love.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/20/2018 at 11:26 AM, Carol Sue Sperry said:

Child rearing

I babysit for my 3 yr old grandson whose go to answer is “No!!”  He also has temper to go with it. I’m looking for tips on allowing his feelings while doing what needs to be done. Sometimes that’s eating a meal, or not taking things from his sister, nap time etc. ( I am not complaining- he’s a sweetheart) I want to break the trauma cycle ..... help♥️🙏🏼🦋

Please remember that you are the adult in your situation and it is your responsibility to get done what needs to be done. 

Yes, it is good for a child to establish his no's, and it probably never meant to be easy on both ways. So, let him insist as hard as he can. Eventually either he finds a better way to get what he wants, or you will give up the fight yourself. 

But if you are on a softer side and always give in because you afraid to hurt his feelings, then you are actually doing this boy more harm than good. Real life is much more diverse than this and it can crush him before he knows it. 

Building resilience is good to start early and it pays off enormously throughout the life. One day he will thank you for it. Or maybe not and it's okay too because when you have your peace of mind knowing that he is going to be okay with or without you, than you know you did your part right.

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is normal in this stage of development for the child to assert himself. He is learning to differentiate self from other. Often, even when children this age say, "No!"--they don't want this or that--they will still take it. That is, "no" doesn't really mean "no."

Rather, it is the "I" or the "me" asserting itself. The child is developing his sense of self, so this has more to do with setting boundaries. Every child this age (the so-called terrible 3's) begins asserting themselves as the ego develops in order to establish boundaries. It's just a phase, the child will eventually grow out of it.

Of course, that's not to speak derogatorily about the "ego" as many new-agers do. We cannot survive without the ego. It is not possible to NOT have an ego! Realize, a person with no ego or severe lack of one is either brain-dead or mentally retarded. Religions that speak about the ego in a derogatory manner mean something else--more-so "agression," perhaps. But in the Western sense, there is nothing bad or derogatory about the ego--it is perfectly normal and absolutely necessary.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

L'eggo my Eggo. No its not a movie, its an ad....

Maye an ego is simply meant to be..... to be continued....

Anyway, some good familiar comments above. Is it possible he's just giving the word, No, a try? Watching and learning about this new word that might get a variety of reactions; see if he's paying attention afterwards. And its not out of line to become a teacher when boundaries are broken. IE. He causes harm to himself or someone else. This would include someone else's property.

I thought it was always called the terrible twos (usually headache land for the parent or guardian) .....

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's both terrible two's and terrible three's. Certainly, practical explanations for behavior do exist beyond the realm of theory. But theory offers a general explanation for behavior without having to explain every instance.

Aside from being a psychology buff, I'm a pragmatist at heart, myself. Theory is often only as good as its being able to be put to good use.

But, in this case, there's been quite a lot of research done and children do begin to develop their ego's around 2 or 3. The classic example when children begin asserting themselves is that they learn to use the word, "no." It's more common knowledge than a statement anyone would care to refute.

Of course, the explanation that it's "just a phase" is pretty darn pragmatic in itself. It's right up there with "walk it off." That's good advice for the parents when they're fed up with their kids, lol!

Edited by Broken_Mirror33
grammar
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.