Valeria

Social situations

11 posts in this topic

Does anyone here find it difficult to talk to people? I used to be okay, self conscious, but okay but now I'm a mess socially. I don't know. In some ways I feel more confident in other ways, I've never been so insecure. Being with people and noticing how uncomfortable and nervous and worthless I feel makes me feel alone like something is wrong with me. I'm scared that I am worthless and a mess. Sometimes I can't believe just how awkward I've been. And I feel like other people are noticing and condemning the way I'm behaving which just makes it worse. I'm in a prison of insecurity. I don't even know how to begin to become confident. I just want to feel like I'm not alone in this and that I'm not a complete loser. I just want someone to see me. 

Edited by Valeria
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Yes we do see you. It can be hard in a world where other people don't see you, but learn to see them, realise they are just trying to understand this life too. 

Can you see yourself?

Surround yourself with nature and solitude, see for yourself what life is about, find what isn't true and leave it behind. Know you always have kindred spirits, you are never alone! Find people like us who see you, we see past the conditioning, the image, the 'branding'...see yourself though, and if you cant, keep searching and trust your path is what you ask for. 

<3 

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5 hours ago, Valeria said:

Does anyone here find it difficult to talk to people? 

Only when they don't want to talk to me... that's when i find it difficult.

 

5 hours ago, Valeria said:

. And I feel like other people are noticing and condemning the way I'm behaving which just makes it worse. 

If you know you're not doing anything wrong, then stand up for yourself and speak up!

Otherwise, you're betraying yourself. That's why you have all these insecurities and difficulties talking to people. 

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6 hours ago, Damian said:

Yes we do see you. It can be hard in a world where other people don't see you, but learn to see them, realise they are just trying to understand this life too. 

Can you see yourself?

Surround yourself with nature and solitude, see for yourself what life is about, find what isn't true and leave it behind. Know you always have kindred spirits, you are never alone! Find people like us who see you, we see past the conditioning, the image, the 'branding'...see yourself though, and if you cant, keep searching and trust your path is what you ask for. 

<3 

Thanks. I'm working on learning to see myself. Past what I've been taught to believe about me. 

7 hours ago, Wind said:

You are not alone and you are not a loser. You are not worthless and a mess. Many of us have felt the same way. I see you. We see you.

In general I never found it difficult to talk to other people but there were times I felt awkward, uncomfortable and not part of the scene and if for too long then I knew that I had to move on, that it wasn't my place and/or that I needed time with myself. You might be going through something similar, in a phase where you need to explore and discover yourself more deeply and perhaps you should be spending more time on your own instead of trying to force yourself to fit in, adapt and be with other people. If you don't feel comfortable with yourself, you won't feel comfortable with others either.

 

I agree that I feel like I'm in a phase where I need to discover myself more. I do think a large part of my discomfort is that I've been with the wrong people. People who I didn't really relate to. 

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you're not alone or a loser. I find it difficult to talk to people only because I don't care for small talk or sports or any of that. yeah... I don't know. there are people out there who accept you and love you no matter what. the real thing, not just words that mean nothing.

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I have social anxiety so I can relate. It's really hard for me to do anything in life even just stepping out the door. I feel like I'm in a mental prison all the time and that there is no one out there who can relate to me or help me. It's just really hard for me to go walk outside when there is other people or talk to people because I'm always scared of what they are thinking of me. I know I shouldn't think like this but I just can't help it. Plus I feel like I can feel people's emotions and thoughts so that adds to my mental pressure. I can't move forward in life because of this.

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19 hours ago, Sophia Spirit said:

I have social anxiety so I can relate. It's really hard for me to do anything in life even just stepping out the door. I feel like I'm in a mental prison all the time and that there is no one out there who can relate to me or help me. It's just really hard for me to go walk outside when there is other people or talk to people because I'm always scared of what they are thinking of me. I know I shouldn't think like this but I just can't help it. Plus I feel like I can feel people's emotions and thoughts so that adds to my mental pressure. I can't move forward in life because of this.

what if I told you it was ok to think like that?? to offer some help, from my own experience, my teenage years were some of the worst in my life, the years I literally had no where to turn, family emotionally abused me and school I was bullied and/or emotionally hurt, so social anxiety developed for me. What completely turned it around was my first year of university. throughout that whole year I was finding myself, speaking up more, talking more and letting myself be., during the final term of uni I actually got closer and so close to authenticity that yes I did get rid of it. But what helped me out a lot was when Teal described the time she went to China when she was in her teens and of course she was very much like us except of course she had so much more trauma but she met with a wise master who asked her why she is like this, hiding and wearing hoods, he asked her to walk to a place with lots of people and take a deep breath, then asked her what happened. What teal realised was, was that she breathed in those people and she didn't get hurt. So this is what I continually practiced in social situations during my first term. I will admit though I know how scary it can be to step outside and fear people, as if they are judging you but more so just that they don't understand you and see you as a ghost. I also used to feel like I could feel other peoples thoughts especially my family which pissed me off when I was younger haha.. my advice is to first hold yourself so you are comfortable being in a room, breathe in and out, were u hurt? no, so move to different rooms and eventually find a place in nature such as your yard or your back garden and sit there and breathe, you will be surrounded by non judgmental life all around you, you wont be hurt by mother nature. if you can, whenever you find yourself among people, literally just breathe them in, forget their thoughts and emotions, fuck it, just breathe in their beings, and u will find that u cannot be hurt by them , u are on a path in which u will love yourself, this is a path the majority of humans do not know how to do, if you can, order teals book shadows before dawn, I am reading it now, this is possibly one of the greatest books ever written, because it teach you Sophia, that you are the greatest love of your life, and no one can take that away from you ever, because you are a goddess, you are source

On ‎09‎/‎08‎/‎2016 at 0:56 AM, NightRain said:

I've been feeling the same way... have my whole life actually. You're not alone :)

what if I told you it was ok to think like that?? to offer some help, from my own experience, my teenage years were some of the worst in my life, the years I literally had no where to turn, family emotionally abused me and school I was bullied and/or emotionally hurt, so social anxiety developed for me. What completely turned it around was my first year of university. throughout that whole year I was finding myself, speaking up more, talking more and letting myself be., during the final term of uni I actually got closer and so close to authenticity that yes I did get rid of it. But what helped me out a lot was when Teal described the time she went to China when she was in her teens and of course she was very much like us except of course she had so much more trauma but she met with a wise master who asked her why she is like this, hiding and wearing hoods, he asked her to walk to a place with lots of people and take a deep breath, then asked her what happened. What teal realised was, was that she breathed in those people and she didn't get hurt. So this is what I continually practiced in social situations during my first term. I will admit though I know how scary it can be to step outside and fear people, as if they are judging you but more so just that they don't understand you and see you as a ghost. I also used to feel like I could feel other peoples thoughts especially my family which pissed me off when I was younger haha.. my advice is to first hold yourself so you are comfortable being in a room, breathe in and out, were u hurt? no, so move to different rooms and eventually find a place in nature such as your yard or your back garden and sit there and breathe, you will be surrounded by non judgmental life all around you, you wont be hurt by mother nature. if you can, whenever you find yourself among people, literally just breathe them in, forget their thoughts and emotions, fuck it, just breathe in their beings, and u will find that u cannot be hurt by them , u are on a path in which u will love yourself, this is a path the majority of humans do not know how to do, if you can, order teals book shadows before dawn, I am reading it now, this is possibly one of the greatest books ever written, because it teach you NightRain, that you are the greatest love of your life, and no one can take that away from you ever, because you are a goddess, you are source. and yeah this is the same advice I offer Sophia as well below, hope this helps!

Edited by Damon is Awesome
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Wow thank you so much for your reply. It really meant a lot to me. I love that story about Teal and that breathing technique I'm definitely going to try it! Hopefully it will work for me. Thank you again for your kind words <3

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