Elif

How To Deal With Suppressed Rage?

7 posts in this topic

Whenever Teal says to someone on her workshops that you have a lot of suppressed rage within you, I immediately resonate with it. This has been the case for a year.

In the recent months I started to feel the suppressed rage. I never thought it would be this intense... It makes me want to pull my hair out, or harm myself, or throw stuff when I cannot release the rage. I don't know what to do with it.. I cannot harm anything and anyone, including me. I cannot sit with the rage either; it is harming me immensely. Like being re-fed your puke... The rage wants OUT desperately. And the feeling is so stong, I don't know how I succeed to manage it! Today, I couldn't take it anymore, so I squeezed my water bottle. That was the only thing I could do... 

Writing it out came to my mind. I tried it... But it is just annoying. When I write it, the rage becomes stronger and it irritates me more. I feel like I have to be "active" with my rage; not just doing some mental activity, but throw the water bottle to the wall for example... 

I just know that suppressing it more isn't the solution. Writing isn't either. And I don't want to harm anyone including me. But to be honest, I feel violence within me too, along with the rage. I don't like the fact that this is the case but... It's better to see it and do something about it.

I don't know what to do.. I'm afraid of my own rage. Not only me, people are too. They actually see the suppressed anger in me. They say the way stare at them is scary, when I just look at them normally. My suppressed anger is realized especially when I look at a person I dislike, who disrespected me before... 

So.. I'm open to your thoughts, ideas and suggestions.

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I feel like most people take that out on driving, like "this fucking asshole can't drive!" just to let it out somewhere in their life. I'm scared to touch anger too, because its anger, its strong and everyone feels it when its on in anyone. yelling in a car is my favorite lol. just let it out.

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i used to keep a set of little clay-pots and whenever i had the rage come over me, i knew i had these pots that i bought only to shatter them against a wall and i used them. so i knew i wouldnt harm anything i was afraid to harm and i found a release for the energy. because the biggest suppressor of rage in my experience is the fear of losing control and doing something with it that i would regret later. over time, i gained trust that i can be with this emotion, because i had given it a setting where i felt safe to let it come out, now i even like the feeling of being angry sometimes, when the contrast in my life gets more and i am confronted with even deeper feelings like powerlessness.
and if someone was there and that interaction made you feel disrespected, it is totally normal to feel angry!  this anger is telling you to get the f* into other situations and surround yourself with other people where your boundaries are respected!

what if they SHOULD be afraid of your anger, BECAUSE they disrespected you and your look is, if you are not ready yet to tell them right away, the sign for them to back off or be nice to you

Edited by Lilia
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7 hours ago, Elif said:

 

Writing it out came to my mind. I tried it... But it is just annoying. When I write it, the rage becomes stronger and it irritates me more

I would encourage you to continue this, the fact your rage builds is good, it means you are actually being present with it, it's not being repressed. And during this time you may end up with a page full of scribbles or even holes in the paper, this is the safest way to release rage I have ever found

 

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@Elif Wow!!

A technique I use too loosen up the face is raising the eyebrows. Maybe even shrug them a few times. I starting doing this when my gaze would fall on someone else's and I would have that stern, deathly look on my face, immediately frightening the person. If I raise my eyebrows, it sends a message of surprise rather than death, lol. 

A few words...

"If a world were possible without anger I would not choose it...When ordinary iron passes through fire it becomes steel; without fire it cannot become steel. And the higher the degree of the temperature, the greater will be the temper, the strength, of the steel. If your compassion can pass through anger, the higher the temperature of the anger the greater will be the temper and the strength of the compassion." -Osho

I share this to illuminate the blessings of your anger. The other side of the coin is compassion. With practice you will learn to wield your anger creatively rather than destructively, with the much needed side effect of diffusing that anger -- but in a positive way. 

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10 hours ago, authorofdarkness said:

I would encourage you to continue this, the fact your rage builds is good, it means you are actually being present with it, it's not being repressed. And during this time you may end up with a page full of scribbles or even holes in the paper, this is the safest way to release rage I have ever found

 

I will continue to write. Because I realized when I suppress my anger and don't write it out, I get sore throat. It didn't happen before, in the summer at least. Sore throat for me is related to stuffed down words. I need to let it out... You're right.

@Krystine I've only seen the destructive side of anger so far. The idea that the other side of anger is compassion, is technically true for me. But I haven't experienced it yet. The closest I got there was compassion for myself. I'll see how it goes... 

Thank you for all your replies 

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To every situation our body responds with a certain emotion. Every emotion points out to our belief system. 

I noticed  that those who deny their anger or feeling of rage are also denying their beliefs about it. And by doing that (or supressing it) they default to the old way of justification. 

We all have something that we just want to get done or say. I think anger and rage help us forget about fear and, when used in the right direction,  are great motivations to make things happen.

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