twisted love

does anybody have a hard life just coping with life (and not have a mental illness)

5 posts in this topic

i feel so abnormal for feeling this way. i can't even explain wats wring what the problem is, i just don't feel good, or happy. i feel overwhelmed and stressed, and like things are out of my control. sometimes i feel super apathetic and do not care about anything, i have nobody and nothing. my parents wer dysfunctional and abusive and i think maybe thats why i have such a hard time adjusting to life outside my childhood home. but idk i still feel so crazy for feeling this way. does anybody else feel like this?

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16 minutes ago, twisted love said:

i feel so abnormal for feeling this way. i can't even explain wats wring what the problem is, i just don't feel good, or happy. i feel overwhelmed and stressed, and like things are out of my control. sometimes i feel super apathetic and do not care about anything, i have nobody and nothing. my parents wer dysfunctional and abusive and i think maybe thats why i have such a hard time adjusting to life outside my childhood home. but idk i still feel so crazy for feeling this way. does anybody else feel like this?

 

I'm putting forth this opinion because I work in the mental health field and because I want to help you. I believe you do have a mental health illness. I've never met a person with abusive parents that doesn't have one, another opinion I hold is that it is impossible to be abused by your primary emotional and physical caregivers and not develop an illness from it.

There's no shame with saying you have one. I'll do it right here and now.... hey I was abused, I developed PTSD I had recurrent terrible nightmares about that abuse for a long time. I developed a flinching instinct after the trauma. I struggle with S.A.D. but you know what I'm moving past these parts of me because I've acknowledged them. I think for you until you acknowledge you may have one you won't feel any different. 

 

 

 

 

 

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46 minutes ago, authorofdarkness said:

 

I'm putting forth this opinion because I work in the mental health field and because I want to help you. I believe you do have a mental health illness. I've never met a person with abusive parents that doesn't have one, another opinion I hold is that it is impossible to be abused by your primary emotional and physical caregivers and not develop an illness from it.

There's no shame with saying you have one. I'll do it right here and now.... hey I was abused, I developed PTSD I had recurrent terrible nightmares about that abuse for a long time. I developed a flinching instinct after the trauma. I struggle with S.A.D. but you know what I'm moving past these parts of me because I've acknowledged them. I think for you until you acknowledge you may have one you won't feel any different. 

 

 

 

 

 

i'm not ashmaded to admit if i have a mental disorder. i see no shame in it. i have seen a counciller a few times just to talk about some things,she did not seem to think i had a disorder. however i did not disclose everything about my parents becuase i was still dependent on them and other reason. i have told her little bits and i think she can see the big picture of how my parensts were. i really liked her she was helped me alot i think she is agood counciler and if she dodn't think i had a mental ilness i don't think i do. my dad was every sorta abusive including physical. however i was only emotional abused. most of other extreme froms were between my parents only. becuase i was only emotionally abused i don't have ptsd i don't have recuring nightmares of thoughts. i don't have anything like that. i just have a hard time coping in the world now that i am 21 yr old on my own.

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I'm am 22 and yes I've had a hard time coping with life before.  

The reason being is because I can't be fake.

Let me elaborate.

I love learning but I don't like regular school so if I'm there I fall asleep very quickly.  I can't pretend I want to be there and if I try to then I become disruptive from talking too much.

I love working but I can't have a job.  I can't pretend I want to be there and so my coworkers and my boss know that I don't want to be there lol.  

When it comes to jobs I'll come an hour late, take extra long breaks...I just can't pretend to care.  Then I'm clairsentient so I can sense all the negative energy seeping from those who work with me and the same in school.  That drives me nuts I'm not just feeling but absorbing an ocean of negative energy and then all I can think is I gotta go or they gotta die so I don't gotta reflect this anymore.

So in this world I have to build my own reality 

That's what I'm doing now instead of failing at faking and its working slowly but surely.

I haven't met one person yet in this world who is remotely similar to me or who understands me even in the slightest.  None of my family can, no friends, no anything with me.

I don't know you but unless your like me you should have something in common with someone somewhere you'd like to be.  There should be people like you who you feel at home with or at least someone who can understand you.

I've never had that from anyone on this planet.  Someone who understands me and can see how I see.

You should do some shadow work and deal with those thinks that make you stressed.  

Then you'll see the light.

 

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19 hours ago, twisted love said:

i'm not ashmaded to admit if i have a mental disorder. i see no shame in it. i have seen a counciller a few times just to talk about some things,she did not seem to think i had a disorder. however i did not disclose everything about my parents becuase i was still dependent on them and other reason. i have told her little bits and i think she can see the big picture of how my parensts were. i really liked her she was helped me alot i think she is agood counciler and if she dodn't think i had a mental ilness i don't think i do. my dad was every sorta abusive including physical. however i was only emotional abused. most of other extreme froms were between my parents only. becuase i was only emotionally abused i don't have ptsd i don't have recuring nightmares of thoughts. i don't have anything like that. i just have a hard time coping in the world now that i am 21 yr old on my own.

21 is a hard age. Struggling is very normal. I think you're right to trust your counselor's opinion. I'd do some shadow work, and really look into developing some solid coping skills you can utilize to help you become more emotionally balanced. Look for behavioral patterns and cycles, look for triggers as well. And if you need help we are all here for you :) 

 

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