Sunshine997

Shadow work

3 posts in this topic

My dad told me that my mom was jealous of me as a child. I don't remember much,maybe because I repressed those memories or, because of the epileptic attacks I used to get. Sometimes I wish I could remember because,i wouldn't be trying to understand why I turned out the way I did. My mom would get angry if I kissed my dad on his cheeks, or wanted to sit in his lap.  Later  on my parents separated I stayed with my mom. When I was  14 or so I had desires to hug actors or teachers I admired especially,father  figures. I realized  yesterday that my whole life I have believed physical affection  was wrong. After  living in  denial I'm going to  admit that touch is one of my primary love languages along with quality time. But I'm still struggling with my belief related to touch and my need for it.

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Hi sunshine.

I don't have much experience with the completion process, but it's about getting in touch with past trauma feelings and memories, and bringing relief and clarity to that part of yourself.

How do these memories feel? What's a time that you remember feeling that way most?

I'm going to give you some pointers based on what I know.

Build a safe place in your mind where you can experience these things safely. Go to the earliest memory and experience the feelings and thoughts. 

Is there something good about this experience? It can be a spiritual truth, it can be that you have grown into a better person, it can be that your mother was trying to find relief. 

Finding relief in that hidden dark place is what shadow work is all about.

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23 hours ago, Sunshine997 said:

My dad told me that my mom was jealous of me as a child. I don't remember much,maybe because I repressed those memories or, because of the epileptic attacks I used to get. Sometimes I wish I could remember because,i wouldn't be trying to understand why I turned out the way I did. My mom would get angry if I kissed my dad on his cheeks, or wanted to sit in his lap.  Later  on my parents separated I stayed with my mom. When I was  14 or so I had desires to hug actors or teachers I admired especially,father  figures. I realized  yesterday that my whole life I have believed physical affection  was wrong. After  living in  denial I'm going to  admit that touch is one of my primary love languages along with quality time. But I'm still struggling with my belief related to touch and my need for it.

Touch is a love language, the need for love is innate to all humans. There's no shame or issue with needing that. My love language is touch as well. I think your response was natural too, you were separated from your father and so you sought to meet the need through others. I would work towards allowing yourself to become ok with seeking affection by telling yourself it's okay and valid to see that and that it's not wrong or bad to seek that. It will be a process but you are well on your way :) 

 

 

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